Kagami listened, nodding slightly as he listened to Hashirama. Of course she was right, she had seen how unlocking his powers gave him not only a scare, but also quite a wound.

So far, he had been pretty much forced by his guardian to learn and mold fire-chakra... The Uchiha's signature nature. But that wasn't him.. He knew that...

Meeting Hashirama had been a quite peculiar event for Kagami. He was well acquainted with Tobirama, after all, he was the Sensei of his Team, yet meeting his older brother was not something he took on lightly.

Hashrama had always had this very special kind of aura: She was always friendly, kind and generous. On a child, that wa quite a good impression, because they do love to be coddled.

To Kagami, kindness that came from outside the clan was always taken with a tiny speck of salt. But this of course was nothing that Hashirama wasn't able to break through with patience. She noticed fast that Kagami was quite a sensitive child, very attuned to his surroundings and always on the lookout.

My childhood was, astonishingly, full of happy memories, little moments that stayed with me. I remember my friends coming for me every spring morning to train, and my heart had been full.

I remember one specific memory when I realized I can live on a tree for free when I was five. I must have lived there for a week. I waved at my brothers from branches. Once a day, mom brought me a glass of strawberry jam, so I wouldn’t starve. I really liked it. Sometimes I laughed at my father.

"Good afternoon Kaaaagami~ You get to have first pick at these if you would like. They are growing so well right now that I might have to bring more tomorrow too~ Do you think I should?" It was food after all, healthy sweets for the growing kids at the school... Maybe the school needed to add a garden too... He made a note to speek to Tobirama of the matter later, who wouldn't want to grow such wondrous treats? Plus, if they weren't picked, some animals would get to them, but surly not all of them. There were so many in his screcret forest that had all kinds of different berries and herbs. Mostly for medicinal reasons, having always loved gardening, Hashirama made sure there were medical supplies to his disposal in case he needed to help someone.

"How has class been today? I've heard you've grown quit a bit stronger than last I saw you! How have the suiton lessons been coming along, Kagami?" Sadly, he had yet to have time to follow up with him for quite some time, but heard good things from Tobirama.

Kagami's eyes immediately lit up as the crown was placed ontop of his dark curls. Looking up, his round eyes had the spark of a child that found excitement in every little thing.. And that he did, he always found excitement and joy in little things, as the home he had was dark and ppressive.

"You should always bring Strawbebbies!" Kagami exclaimed with the greatest joy, his tiny hands immediately picking up two handfuls of the red and sweet fruits! He would always explode with happiness over the fruit. Instantly, his cheeks filled up like a hamsters.

Minato had been drawing seals all afternoon. The debris was still scattered all around him; strains of seals both increasingly complex and devastatingly simple, many of which were struck through with crude lines of ink.

Then a tiny man appeared in front of him.

Minato was used to weird things happening, but he still took a few moments to react. He hadn't even been writing summoning seals.

Madara had been looking out of the window of the Hokage's office; specifically peering out toward the southern quadrant of Konoha, where construction was still very much active. Doton and Suiton users were actively modifying a section of the forest.

The Hokage is saying something, and Madara pushes himself from his perch and walks toward his friend's desk and the pile of paperwork there. The Uchiha quirks an eyebrow.

Hashirama writes diaries. Religiously. He has done it since he was a child. At first it was because he believed he would grow up to be someone important, someone who would need to remember everything. He wanted records, details, the small things that slip away. He wanted to understand himself later. He wanted to understand the world.

Later it became a place where he put things he couldn't say. A place where he could be afraid. So when it comes to fem!Hashirama, of course he writes.

--

30.5.

I keep thinking about Hashirama. I don't know why she lingers in my mind the way she does. Maybe it's because she feels familiar in a way that unsettles me. Or maybe because she carries something in herself I recognize too well. A quiet sadness that doesn't announce itself. Not dramatic, never dramatic. I hope I don't look that sad.

A "separate room," but the more she spoke, the less it sounded like a room at all. Tobirama sleeping there, watching her, guarding her. I don't know what he was afraid of. I don't know what she was living through, what she endured, and I don't want to imagine it, but my mind goes there anyway. I keep that folded away, it's not my place to ask, some things aren't mine to touch. But it stays with me.

She shrinks herself, I see it every time she speaks about her past. I hate that I see it clearly. I know that instinct. I lived inside it for so long that I forget it isn't normal.

It would be easy to hate her, to shut her out, to close myself off, to avoid seeing myself in her. But it wouldn't be fair. Instead, I search for traces of truth. I think more than people believe, and it's safer that way. I just think intensely sometimes.

Sometimes she reminds me of those years when I thought endurance was the only thing I had to offer. When I thought if I stayed useful enough, good enough, someone would notice I was drowning. No one did.