#knowingtruth

❝   i wanted to stay ahead of a bad situation.   ❞        the girl she became when she was with him wasn’t the girl she was supposed to be    ------     it wasn’t the girl her parents expected her to be or the girl her sister assumed she would be.       she was supposed to be the girl who followed the rules and never did anything wrong;      it was annie who was supposed to be the one to find herself in a situation like beth did      (     or at least,     it’s what they all assumed.     )       she was stuck in the mindset her parents had set out for her:       you can’t be this girl who is full of shame and mistakes.     and that’s why she couldn’t be around anymore;       she couldn’t have the people in her life know she was pregnant.     even jake,    who deserved to know his child.    she knew it wasn’t fair.       it was selfish.      but she had convinced himself it was BEST for him too.     now that her world was crashing down around her,      she was reminded of that mistake,     reminded that she had given into those high standards set out for herself rather than become her own person   -----      now that she had kicked dean out of the house,       she realized she didn’t have to be that person.      and perhaps,     she was never supposed to be that person.       it was time to be who SHE wanted to be;      and who she wanted to be was someone who owned up for the things she had done,     starting with jake.         ❝   so i left.     it wasn’t right,     i know that now.      but i spent years convincing myself that it was for the best.  ❞  

❝  have you talked to maggie?    is she okay?   ❞       the concern is real,   the expression of worry across his features not at all feigned.    it’s everything else he’s playing pretend.      the stab wound hidden under his hospital gown isn’t a work of brandon james;    it’s a work of his own,   planned maliciously in order to make himself look like the perfect victim    (  the only one who was STRONG ENOUGH to make it out alive.     there’s glory in that.   )      ❝   he was after her all night.     my friends,     we were just trying to protect her.   ❞       a pause,     eyes dropping as he looks up at him.     ❝  ----  what about them?     did they  .  .  .       survive?     they did,   right? ❞      feigned hope,    because he knows the answer:     they’re all dead    (    and it’s all because of you.   )    

❝  i wanted to hear his side of the story.   ❞       there’s an accusation somewhere in there,     one that insists that SHE was the only one who intended to do so      (    brandon never stood a chance against the police,     the ones who shot first and called it OVER.    )     but her words are gentle,    and there’s still a fear behind them all.     it’s not from brandon;    it never has been.     even after seeing him with the knife,     she can’t believe he killed anyone.      ❝   that’s why i asked him there.    but i didn’t get the chance.    i don’t know anything.   ❞       she knows he’s still alive,    but that’s not something she plans to say.    she already put brandon in danger by bringing him to that dock,    this is her chance to try to make up for that   -----    even though she knows she can’t.    

fingers rubbed along the soft hands that he knew were his boyfriend’s without having to open his eyes,    a silent sign that he had woken up.    eyes opened,     a smile present on his face even if it didn’t belong there given where he was now   -----    in a hospital bed,    out of surgery the night before,    after the hunters had made a hit on scott’s house.     ❝   you’re still here,  ❞      he whispered,     though he wasn’t surprised.    it was his way of telling him he was glad he had him here.     ❝   my parents,    they went home to get sleep   -----   right?  ❞    he told him to just before fading away the previous night,    but if he knew his parents,    they were still in the waiting room,    giving this time to the boy mason loved.   

❝     you’re  NOT  even  going  to  tell  me  where  the  hell  you’ve  been?       mom’s  been  flipping  out.    ❞           it  was  a  LIE,      because  it  was  him  who  had  started  to  panic  about  him,        his  mother  only  making  him  second  guess  himself.       

❝    okay   -------    ❞           word  was  spoken  out  of  nowhere,        yet  in  a  tone  that  indicated  she  had  finally  given  in.        her  girlfriend  had  been  trying  to  get  her  to  talk  for  a  while  now,        and  tamora  understood  why     -------       she  knew  just  how  STRANGELY  she  had  been  acting  ever  since  the  attack  that  had  landed  her  in  the  hospital.      she  would  want  to  know  too,         SHE  would  have  pushed  a  lot  harder  than  ally  had    ------     so  did  she  blame  her?         tamora  had  offered  her  nothing  so  far,       but  she  was  TERRIFIED  of  opening  up   to  her.       what  she  saw  wasn’t  NATURAL.      it  was  unlike  anything  she  had  seen  before,       and  it  was  something  that  shouldn’t  exist.     but  she  couldn’t  let  her  thoughts  be  invalidated,      it  was  why  she  was  so  afraid  of  speaking  about  it  out  loud.      if  ally  didn’t  believe  her,      then  what  did  she  have  left?      no  one  to  understand  what  was  really  going  on  in  her  head,      just  someone  who  would  start  looking  at  her  differently.        ❝   ---    i’m  ready  to  talk.        about  that  night.    ❞         she  hesitance  in  her  voice  indicated  that  she  needed  the  other’s  comfort,      because  she  wasn’t   sure  if  she  could  do  this  without  it.

❝   you’ve heard what they’re saying,     haven’t you?   ❞       NERVOUS,     eyes looking back at her friend and colleague in hopes she’ll get a better opinion than what she’s been hearing.       ❝   they think it’s brandon    -----      that he’s back,     that he’s doing all of this.     that’s a reach,    right?    ❞       to her,    there’s no doubt about it.     she just wants someone to agree,     even if she’s afraid she might not find that person.