#knight!kyle

Strange, wasn’t he always so effortlessly cheerful? You expected him to be bidding farewell to his fellow knight. Why was he so far away?

You steadied your breath and walked closer, descending the steps until you reached his side. 

“Good morning, my lord,” you said, curtsying.

At the sound of your voice, his back straightened immediately, and he turned to you.

“Good morning!” he greeted brightly—ah, there it is. “Did you rest well?”

“…Yes…” you nodded, then glanced toward Alex.

Kyle followed your gaze. “You made it in time, Farah's been holding him back for quite some time now,” he explained, leaning back against the stairs once more.

“Are you not going?” you asked, confused.

“No,” he said simply. “Nothing for me to mope about. He’ll be back. He’s not on death’s door.”

“Didn’t you say we were close to war?” 

“It’s metaphorical,” he said, arms still crossed. “More of a battle of wit between my father and the duke.” 

Little interactions like this gave you pieces of the kingdom’s political state.

The duke was just a looming force, a symbol of resistance against the current king.

They had caught spies. Alex didn’t go into detail about how they got information out of them, but it was implied. That thought sent a chill down your spine.

But you'd be fine, you just had to be careful not to raise too much suspicion. You were doing good so far. 

“I don't know what happened, but he's been glued to her for days now," Kyle sighed, looking toward the two knights. "How does she deal with that?”

Your eyes remained on him. A smile tickled the corner of your lips as you battled the urge to respond. Wasn't this the pot calling the kettle black? He was much more clingy with you than Alex was with Farah.

Just the last few days alone, Farah would come to you looking for him, and without fail, she found him.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was only here because he knew you would be too. But that would be absurd. He wouldn’t possibly be standing here in the chilly morning air just to see you.

“It doesn’t look like she minds,” you said with a shrug, turning your attention back to the knights.

They were lost in their own conversation. The way their hands brushed. The tenderness in their exchanged glances.

“It’s a bit much, if you ask me,” Kyle smiled, turning back to you. “Well, it matters little now as I’m not here for him.” He shrugged.

“I see. But Lady Farah seems well—then again, I suppose you would know if she wasn’t,” you replied. What were you playing at? You knew what he was saying, didn’t you?

He scoffed, nodding to himself before jerking his head toward the carriage. “Looks like he’s waiting. Go on, hurry so he can leave,” he said, though he failed to suppress a smile. 

Your pocket felt heavier as you looked at him, but you bowed your head and walked to the carriage.

You quickened your step, making sure to salute them both.

“You’re up early,” Farah said, crossing her arms. 

“I couldn’t miss Sir Keller’s departure!” you said looking at her a little long. Farah exchanged a look with Alex before smiling and stepping away. 

“I told you to rest, didn't I?” Alex asked with a pointed look.

“But am I not allowed a proper goodbye?” you replied, lifting your shoulder. “My teacher is leaving”

“The sooner this is over, the sooner I can have leisure time. I could even bring you to my village,” 

"I believe I am not allowed out without Lord Garrick,” you chuckled. “Especially not with you.”

He peeked behind you before leaning in. “I'll sneak you out,” He grinned,

“Promise?” you whispered back.

“It's a promise” he nodded. He hesitated for a moment, “You already told me goodbye last night…yet here you are” he squinted, “I hope you are not planning to give me an unwanted gift again?” 

“No,” you said, feeling heat creep on his ear. “I had things to do. I thought I could see you one last time?” you said.

“Is this a statement or are you asking me?” he questioned, you looked back.

“Your lady has been keeping him locked away…” you whispered, another excuse.

“Don’t make me laugh, I’ve got reports of a lord missing from duty almost every day.” 

“Yes, I see him in passing, but I have no time to prepare.” 

“Prepare for what? It's a simple gesture is it not?” he tilted his head. “Unless it means something to you?” 

“It doesn't,” you quickly replied.

“Then I shall leave you, to it” he said, turning away.

“You leave me with my lament?” you teased. 

“I already got rid of mine, why would I take on yours?” he winked walking inside his carriage. 

You watched as the carriage rolled away with a heavy heart. You were already counting the days until their return. Your days were about to be a whole lot different. You stopped yourself from glancing Kyle’s way.

“What were you two plotting?” Farah asked

“Nothing, my lady, I was simply bidding him farewell,” you said.

She nodded, glancing back at you. “We haven’t talked in a while,” she said. That's true, you also only saw her in passing too!

What an opportunity!

“That is right my lady, shall I bring you tea and we could chat about?” Hopefully she would say yes. The thing you have to do can wait.

“You seem to have prior engagements” she chuckled.

“I’ll walk you back,” Lord Garrick proposed, stepping closer. You didn’t even flinch at his sudden appearance.

You hesitated, but Farah smiled. “I won’t take it personally,” she said. “It’s still dark, who knows what might happen in the ten steps it takes to go back inside?” She chuckled. Though she meant to sound condescending, her voice carried a warmth that betrayed her true feelings.

You nodded before starting the walk. It wasn’t as dark as she said. The sky was just starting to turn a lighter blue. The air was still a bit damp as you walked through the yard. You glanced back at Kyle. 

“So you weren't there for Lady Karim, my Lord?”

He chuckled, “No, I thought a certain someone would be here too this morning,” he stated, “Though they love playing oblivious, now that I’ve seen them, it is a good morning.” He grinned, you felt your heart stirred.

“I hope you didn’t get too much of a scolding from Lady Karim,” 

“Quite a lot to be honest,” he chuckled, "but I got used to it, she got tired of it, eventually I got to walk you back to your quarters" he shrugged.

“I apologize, it was my fault, you wasted as much time” 

“It wasn’t,” he said softly. “The only thing you are guilty of is invading my mind” he muttered.

You're trying really fervently to invade mine. 

“I apologize for this as well, it was never my intention,” 

Your feet stopped as the brown door of the maids' quarters loomed over you. Was the walk through the courtyard always this short?

“Here you are,” Kyle said.

You hesitated this was the moment, now or never. It was nothing to make a fuss about.

Your hand slipped into your pocket, playing with the jar. He sighed and spoke again 

“Alex comes and goes in this manor. He will come back eventually. You can send him letters,” he continued, voice soft.

You should go back inside, and start your daily chores, not linger here. 

It was a small gesture, but that would be over stepping. 

You were deep in your thoughts, not realising that to anyone else's perspective you were eerily quiet.

“Is your heart that heavy?” He asked as he stepped closer. 

You finally pulled it out, almost hiding it in the skirt of your dress. Your heart was beating with volume and your hand was sweating a little.

It was just a kind gesture. So why were you so nervous?

Maybe because his gift had been thoughtful—an intricate box with fine details—while all you had was this, looking embarrassingly bland.

Moreover… you had never given anyone a gift before.

Especially not someone you—

You what?

God. Maybe you should just shove it back in. There would be other occasions. He didn’t see it, did he?

“What is that?” his voice echoed in the corridors of your mind, finding your senses pulling you back.

Hell.

He looked at your hand and back to your face, you gently held it out to him. The knot holding the fabric lid of the pot tickling your forefinger. 

“It’s a little late. But I got your box the other day…It was only normal that I thanked my Lord for being so thoughtful.” You explained, though he looked confused, a smile still adorned his lips. 

He was smiling at you. He always did, no matter what. And that consoled your nervous heart.

“Did you get it at the market? You shouldn’t have, the coins were for you to spend on yourself.” He explained with an amused look on his face, taking it from your hand and inspecting it.

“I made it with the berries we got that day…I had more than enough, so please keep this one, my lord.” 

His grip suddenly tightened around the little pot pulling it back towards himself. His smile faltered for a second.

“You made it?” He asked, “and you're giving it…to me?”

You felt suddenly flustered. “To be honest, I only helped. The cook did most of it, the spices and other ingredients were his idea, really.” You rambled, nervously looking at his reaction. He didn’t respond.

Did he hate it, you thought you could read him, but right now he was quiet and that pot in his hand was starting to look uglier to you, the cover was barely presentable, the knot a bit messy. Adopted or not he was royalty, he was raised with standards and this was subpar.

You pressed your lips together, and you held your hand out desperate to take it for him, before it got more embarrassing.

“M-my apology, I shouldn’t disrespect you with such a gift, my lord, I-I’ll take it back,” 

He retreated from you with the brightest smile on his lips. Stirring your heart even further.

“No! I’m sorry…it’s just...you thought of me,” He trailed looking at your face for a second, his eyes went to your lips, and he bit his own, thinking. “Do you want to share some with me?” He asked with excitement filling his voice, he was almost giggling. 

Your chest warmed. He liked it. You didn’t have much to offer, yet he accepted that small gesture as if it meant everything.

And as it seemed to happen a lot lately. You smiled. You were scared for nothing.

Of course he would react this way. You shook your head. Why were you feeling bashful all of the sudden?

“I took enough of my lord's time today, and I have to start with my duties and you should get back to yours.” you said, chuckling looking at the small jar in his hand.

His grip seemed a bit tight though. It was just jam. 

You raised your head to meet his eyes. Your smile dimmed. He was staring at you in awe, or was he upset. You weren’t sure. There was nothing to be shocked about so he must be angry. Oh did you forget yourself? You did reject his offer just now.

“Can I ask for a favor?” He started, you waited for him to elaborate. “Alex is gone, you won’t be going to the stables so often. You’ll have free time.” 

You nodded, was he going to punish you?

“That time, give it to me” he asked 

You paused, did he have to add work to fill the gap. Well you had nothing else to do, so why not. He was the master after all, you should do as he says.

“Very well,” you said nodding, “I will tend to my lord, if that is what you wish.” You bowed. 

He chuckled, “No, that's not what I asked.” 

“Then I don’t–”

“Come find me, like you went to him.” He explained “If there is something you want to learn I'll teach you, if you need to talk, I’ll listen.” He breathed out. “What I’m asking is for you to spend time with me,”

Spending more time with him. More than the sparse glances and greetings you received lately. Strangely, the idea of more wasn’t as distasteful as it was before. Your heart should hate it. 

So why was it screaming for you to say yes?

Your eyes darted to the yard where a few maids were already carrying buckets of water.

Right, you couldn’t. There were so many reasons why you couldn’t. Boundaries you set. Rules that prevent them. Not only for you but also for him. 

Spending time with him would only make things complicated. 

“I’m afraid I must refuse, my lord, it is simply not proper, for a man of your stature to spend leisure time with me, even in friendship,” you stated.

“Friendship?” He echoed you.

“Isn’t it what you seek, for us to be friends, similar to Sir Kelker and I?” 

The maids already have their idea, it would only disrupt the calm of the manor. You couldn’t risk—

“No.” he said, getting close. “I want something for us,” he said. “Just the two of us,” 

You swallowed, you don't know what he is talking about, no you don’t understand, you don’t want to understand.

“My lord I don’t–”

“It's not me you fear anymore, is it?” he asked softly, seemingly already knowing the answer.

“I simply can’t spend my leisure time with you.” You unconsciously glance at the yard again. He understood.

“Very well then, don’t come in your free time.” He said, "I’ll just take you as my personal servant. Is that alright with you?” 

“If that's what my lords—” 

“No, I'm asking you. Does my pathetic excuse to see you, suit you?” He asked above a whisper.

You nodded slowly. His gaze lingered on yours for a moment before he nodded also.

"And let me be clear," he said, voice softer, "I have no desire to be Alex for you. And if I’m not mistaken—" he tilted his head slightly, eyes sharp "—neither do you."

He smiled but you couldn't find yourself to reply. “I’ll inform the head maid.”

He was already gone. You walked inside, eyes already on you.

"Great." you cleared your throat. 

You pretended it was a hassle, but your heart pounded in your chest.

You would see him every day, for longer now. 

How…

Exciting?

That was the problem, wasn’t it?

Masterlist - Next

In the end, you found yourself also peeking at him, expecting a comment or question, and no longer hesitating to answer.

You stole a glance, his posture was perfect. Alex looked great riding a horse. He was comfortable, his riding was second nature.

Kyle on the other hand was graceful, every movement controlled. It was almost nauseating how effortlessly elegant he was.

You, in contrast, were at the mercy of the horse. Asta’s occasional jolts further exposed your inexperience. You had no one to correct you either, the strain on your back making you shift every now and then.

You straightened your back, trying to mimic Kyle. You felt stiff, slightly off balance. What were you doing wrong? You weren’t holding properly, were you?

You peep again. But this time you were caught. His lips curled into a smug smile, only fueling your irritation. What was he smiling about? Your discomfort was ticking you off.  At least Alex was helpful when he was being an annoyance. 

Kyle tapped the top of his saddle. You looked at it, raising a brow. His index finger then lifted to point yours. You quickly looked down at it.

You were sitting quite high on yours. “You’re too high on it. You're also too stiff, relax your shoulders a bit,” he instructed.

You pushed yourself back and readjusted. It did take strain off your back. 

“You were doing great otherwise,” he praised. 

You nodded, but that small tremor in your chest had you irrationally irritated all over again.

“Do you want to pick up the pace? How about a race?” he asked. Your eyes widened and you shook your head. 

“We’d be home in no time. Less pain, and you get to be off the horse faster” he said.

Was he out of his mind? You barely held yourself for a light throttle. Did he seek your end? He clearly wasn’t a teacher.

“Allow me to refuse, my Lord” you replied not hiding the absolute dread the idea just raised in you.

“It’ll be amusing, and I’ll have my eyes on you the whole time. Don’t you trust me?” 

You stayed quiet. He lowered his head, raising a brow. “I guess not… What does Alex do? Give you sugars?” He laughed but it stopped when you didn’t follow. “Yeah, sorry,” he muttered, looking away.

Great, now you had to worry about offending him. You tightened your grip on the reins 

“If I fall, she will trample me, and I’ll die.” you simply said, your tone lacked any hint of humor.

“…That’s a bit extreme,” he replied, “We could just—“

“I don’t want to die, my Lord” you deadpan. There was absolutely nothing he could say that would make you go any faster right now. God himself couldn't.

 His mouth opened and closed again and a breath escaped him. He must find you unreasonable. However, defiance was still better than death.

“Alright, slow pace it is.” He surrendered. 

“Thank you, my Lord, but feel free to hurry ahead. I’ll find my way.” 

“I told you I wouldn’t leave you alone from now on,” he said shaking his head.

You finally saw the shape of the familiar gates. Your heart eased as you reached the entrance. You looked at the ground, contemplating your descent. Would your sore legs withstand that jump? You doubted it. 

Lord Garrick got off with ease. You would make a fool out of yourself again. You took a deep breath readying yourself. He slid in front of you.

This time, he didn’t hesitate. He held his hand out, and you pressed your lips together before reaching for his touch. He guided your hand to his shoulder, his grip firm on your hip as he helped you down. 

Your legs wobbled, almost giving out as they touched the ground. His grip tightened at your side, and you instinctively held onto his arm. 

“She did give you the right name after all.” He smiled.

You looked up. What was it with him? He kept giving you little jabs this evening.

“Great heavens!” The head maid exclaimed, rushing to you. “Sir Keller told us what happened, but we didn’t see you return. Are you alright, poor child?” She asked, taking your hand and pulling you toward her to look at you. 

“I’m alright. Lord Garrick already cleaned my wound with some water,” you tried to reassure her.

“What good could a rag and water do? Come, we’ll give it proper care,” she hushed. You looked back at Kyle.

“Go ahead, I’ll take care of the horses,” he said softly. You looked around. Was Alex busy with the prisoner?

“So, Sir Keller made it here safely?” You questioned. 

“Don’t bother yourself with people who are in better shape than you, yeah?” Kyle sulked, “go get treated” he finished petting his horse. 

You wanted to protest but you only nodded instead. The head maid paused, seemingly remembering something.

“Ah, my Lord, Lady Karim was looking for you, I should warn you—she is not in the best of moods,” she said. The lord's face dropped, he closed his eyes letting out a breath. 

“Right.” He muttered, “I forgot.”

Thinking about it, how did he make it to you that fast? It wasn’t a particularly long trip, but he wouldn’t have arrived so quickly unless he left shortly after you.

“Did Lady Karim know of your outing, my Lord?” You asked, he looked at you, contemplating his answer, when a voice erupted catching both of your attention.

“She did not!” you turned to face Farah walking towards you two. 

“My lady,” you greeted, she glanced your way assessing if you were alright. You nodded slowly, she gave you a faint smile squeezing your shoulder gently before turning her attention to Lord Garrick.

“A word, please?” She, in fact, looked mildly annoyed. He was the master of the house. Was he really about to be reprimanded? He had only stayed longer to take care of you. If he was missing in his duties, it was because of you. 

You shuffled slightly between the two, facing Farah. You regretted it instantly. Her gaze was sharp, flickering to you. She raised a brow, crossing her arms.

“What?” She asked. The mediocre amount of courage you managed to muster was gone with that single word. 

Yeah, he’s a Lord, he can handle himself. Why would you need to feel the wrath of this lady?

“I got better with the horse that's all,” you half-assed a lie.

“That's…great…” she replied, confused. She had seen you, she knew that already. You glanced at Kyle, who chuckled.

“How is she supposed to plead my case if you're this frightening?” 

Farah glanced at you and let out a cold “were you?” 

“Rest assured, my lady, I wasn’t,” you shook your head, glancing once again at Kyle. You sensed he was about to speak so you quickly added. “As I am not to bother myself with people who are in better shape than I.” 

His mouth parted slightly, letting a breathy laugh. He did that to you all morning. It was only natural to get punished wasn’t it. Were you too much? Would you be reprimanded? 

You needed to retreat before it went any further.

“My Lord,” you said, bowing to dismiss yourself before turning to the head maid. “I’ll be in your care,” you told her, lowering your head.

“Right,” she said, amused. “Follow me.”

You did as told right before disappearing inside you glanced anxiously. He was talking to Farah, he noticed you and smiled. He wasn’t upset, what a relief.

Farah suddenly obscured his view, saying something you couldn’t hear from where you were. His face twitched in annoyance, mixed with an emotion you never saw from him. Quite like the one he had with the man this morning. 

Seemed odd. He wore it well too. It felt authentic.

She brought you back to the maid's quarters, back into your room, you sat down as she prepared. Linen and a plethora of ointment. You sat docile as she did her work. 

She dressed your neck properly, she didn’t just treat you. She also gave you an earful. Going on and on about being careful, that the men would only bring trouble. She then asked you to rest, but you insisted on helping with the rest of the chores for the day. She reluctantly let you. 

However, maybe you should have listened, because the quiet stares and whispers as you walked were louder now.

You refuted the rumors this morning, but the events of the day were not helping in the slightest. That night, you walked back to your own room with buzzing ears.

All you wanted to do was get back to your quarters and rest. Maybe a good night of sleep would help with the soreness of your legs. 

With all that commotion, you didn't have the time to meet with Alex. You tried to sneak a glance while working but he was nowhere to be found. You’d be sure to look for him first thing in the morning.

You yawned, rubbing your tired eyes. You really needed sleep.

You suddenly halted, staring at the floor just before your door. Sitting there was a little colored box. You looked around, a few eyes darted away from you. Did someone put this to harm you? But in such a pretty box? 

You carefully walked closer and lowered yourself. You picked it up, gently opened it to peek inside—then quickly shut it again.

You rushed inside your room, closing the door and lighting a candle at your desk. You opened it again.

You knew exactly who it was from. Inside the box was a small little bouquet of a grayish purple plant and a fresh pot of ointments. 

You brought the little fragrant bouquet to your nose. It was unmistakable lavender. Your lips betrayed your will, curling into a smile. This was absurd. Yet you could feel it. The way your heart waltzed. Was this really jealousy? 

You needed to put this away. Regain your senses. Why was he granting you gifts? Were you to return it? No, that would be rude wouldn’t it?

If this were the day you arrived, you absolutely would have. That was the right thing to do, wasn’t it? You couldn’t keep it. You had nothing to give in return. Then it hit you—you did!

You plopped onto your bed, reaching for that compartment behind it. Then, you pulled out the pot of jam. You sat back properly.

No, you couldn’t do that. It would be...Ridiculous.

A soft knock made you shove it in your pocket. "Yes?" you called.

“May I come in?” 

“Alex!” You jumped up, hastening to open the door. You swung it open. “I was looking for you!” you beamed.

His eyes met yours, sorrowful and laced with vulnerability.

“You were?” He asked. The faint smile painted on his lips, failed to illuminate his face. At least not the way it used to. His jovial tone was gone. Instead, his eyes failed to stay on yours, and his fingers were picking at a leaf he probably picked outside.

He was carrying a weight. Something you could only attribute to guilt. You were the cause, and you hated it.

You wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words. What could help in this situation?

You reached out, pulling him inside your room and closing the door.

Decorum and proper etiquette were the least of your concerns. It was Alex and he wasn’t well. Who cared what people thought.

“You weren’t hiding from me, were you?” you asked, tilting your head.

“How’s your neck?” He asked, his voice as soft as a whisper, glancing at your bandages. You touched it.

“Great! I barely feel a thing, I promise!” you explained.

“Don’t lie.” 

“I’m not,” you said, “Both, Master Garrick and the Head maid told me it was just a light cut. It will heal in no time.” Your poor attempt at consoling him did nothing. The room stilled, falling into an uncomfortable silence.

“I’m sorry!” you said. 

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled. 

You smiled. “Don’t be. I’m the one who got in trouble and ruined our outing,”  you said, “I suppose I should leave the selfless act of kindness to our knights and not follow people to alleys”

“Is that your takeaway from this?” he scoffed. “I brought you to a dangerous place, and you got in harm’s way,” he said.

“I’m fine.” You retorted, raising a shoulder. 

“I’m smarter than this,” he muttered

“You were smart, distracting the men.” You nodded.

“Why are you defending this? You got hurt—you were scared!” He exclaimed, he was angry. But you could feel it was really directed at you. You thought for a moment. 

You reached out, wrapping your arms around him. You didn’t know when the last time was that someone had done that for you. 

It was comfort. If this could bring him even a little, the way he had to you these past weeks, then it was worth it. “I apologize, you're upset” you muttered into the hug. “ but I'm not the best with words,” you explained. His arms finally wrapped around you too.

“You’re alright? You swear?” 

“I swear,” you replied. He nodded. “Though you did give me a reason to be angry.” His smile slowly dropped as you pulled away.

“What?” He asked, confused. 

“You were avoiding me.” You put your hands on your hips. “I also can’t believe you left me without a word! I was worried,” you said.

“Duck—“

“Alex?!” you interrupt. He stared at you for a moment. 

“I had to drag that… guy back.” he argued. 

“We could have gone back together! ” you said. He scoffed. 

“And rob you of such a mirthful time with Lord Garrick? Please, I would never.”

You glowered at him, “I made a fool of myself. He made fun of me!” 

He laughed. “I make fun of you too,” he replied, squinting.

You huffed, pulled on your dress and sat down on your bed. He joined you.

“...It’s different,” you muttered.

“You two lingered quite a bit, was it this unpleasant?”

“Yes.” You leaned back, he watched you amused. You challenged his gaze. “Did you really have to leave, or were you just in a hurry to get back… to a certain someone?” you said, smiling. He didn’t respond.

Weird.

You sat properly. “Oh no, you were also hiding from her, weren’t you?” You leaned in. 

“I wasn’t hiding,” he retorted.

“No?” You raised a brow. Someone actively looking for him wouldn't find him. 

“I had to be alone and think.” He defended. 

“About her?” you snicker. He got flustered.

Wow, you were good at this.

“I messed up. She knows—and most certainly thinks less of me,” he said softly. "It was such a novice mistake too."

“If it helps, I don’t believe she will think less of you. I, for one, don’t,” you said. “And Lady Karim is greater and wiser. She was probably worried about you,” you smiled, he chuckled.

"I want to believe you," he started

"You should!" you replied.

You reached into your pocket, your fingers brushing against the little pot of jam.

They all had real bound to each other. These people were being deceived by you. What were you thinking you could give this to Lord Garrick.

You had to leave the gifts untouched and get rid of the jam that was making you have improper thoughts. You grabbed it, your hand tightening around it. 

“What?” Alex asked, catching you lost in thought. You pulled it out of your pocket.

“Do you want this?” you asked, holding it out to him. Alex didn’t move, only looked at your hand. 

“Sorry?” he asked

“Blackberry jam,” you mumbled, glancing at your hand. You were itching to give it away. 

Alex stared at it too. A curious look on his face. 

“I know what it is. Why are you giving it to me?” He asked, raising a brow meeting your gaze once more. 

“It was sitting untouched. I thought you might use it. Who else would I give it to?” you said, pouting slightly and avoiding his stare-down. Why was he not taking it so you were done with it? 

Your eyes flicker to the desk, then back to the floor. He chuckled, and you knew exactly why. He probably connected the dots. But he would help. He always did.

“Do you want it or not?” you pressed, nudging him.

“No,” he said. You turned to him, surprised. “Why would I take another man’s gift? You offend me.”

“It was never!” you corrected. He looked at you unimpressed.

“You’re avoiding your fears again… what’s your excuse this time?” he asked, tilting his head.

“That’s rich coming from you.”

“I’m sitting in front of you, am I not?” he asked. “I am to see Lady Karim just after that.”

He was infuriating, you shouldn’t have made him comfortable. 

“I’m not frightened or running away… He has no need for this,” you retorted.

“But I do?" he crossed his arms "Again I’m offended” 

“Fine, I’ll eat it myself!” you grumbled, putting it away. He laughed. 

“I’m curious,” he started. “If it’s not fear, what do you think of him?” he asked.

“Lord Garrick?" You questioned, not sure why he was asking the question.

“Who else?” 

“My lord is…” You paused for a moment, contemplating the idea of him. “From what I’ve seen—just, patient.” 

“You can be honest, it’s just us?” Alex snickered. You smiled thinking for a moment.

“He’s... insufferable,” you said, crossing your arms. He chuckled.

"Yeah?"

"Yes, he speaks like he's always so sure of himself, and somehow he's never wrong." you exhale sharply, standing up and glancing at the desk again.

Alex hummed in response, following your gaze.

"He has a solution to everything. He rides horses with almost unnatural perfection!” you scoffed, shaking your head, more words clouding your mind.

"He's always watching, always there, as if waiting for me to slip, just so he would be the one to catch me! That's absurd isn't?!" you said

"Oh?" he uttered, but words you had kept were rushing out as you finally had someone to vent to.

"And he listens, he really does! He looks at me like every word I say matters. Even when I say nothing, he seems to know what I'm thinking. The most frustrating thing is that he doesn't push, not really, he's just...here when I need him to be…but at the same time he's...overwhelming. Every time he breathes the same air as me, I—” 

Your eyes met Alex's, and suddenly you lost the words. What were you blabbering about? You need to control yourself. You walked back to the bed and sat down.

“...he’s everything I am not, but seek to be,” you glanced at the quiet man besides you. “That’s all it is. That twisted feeling in my gut whenever I see him… it could only be envy,” you added, as if saying it out loud would make it more true.

Alex tilted his head slightly. “I see...” he studied your face for a moment before humming thoughtfully, nodding. “Right, of course...that's all that is” he muttered almost to himself before standing up.

“Well, do whatever your heart desires. I won’t take it, though. Give it to someone else. Someone that will appreciate it. Just don’t regret it.” he smiled “I shouldn’t bother you any further, have some rest” he said, patting your head.

“Goodnight, Duckling.”

“Good night…”

You sat in your now quiet room chewing on your bottom lip. What did you just blabbered about?

Masterlist - Next

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9

Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17

Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21

Here is the playlist for the story.

Blog Masterlist

“You will do linen today again,” she said, “I need you to prepare the guest bedroom.” 

“We’re having a guest,” you asked, the fear of earlier weighing on you. 

“No one you need to worry about.” She tapped your forehead, smoothing the frown there. “You won’t even notice them—a bit like Master Garrick lately.” She glanced at you briefly.

Since the fall she had been keeping a closer eye on you. Her warmth made you feel guilty. You didn’t deserve her kindness, especially since you never reciprocated it. But for some reason, she didn’t seem to mind. 

“Go on, then!” she said, tilting her head. “Didn’t you want a task to yourself?” The corners of your lips curled faintly.

“Yes madam!” You rushed to the stairs. She cleared her throat, and you slowed your pace. You bit your lip. She chuckled lightly, walking away only when you reached the top of the stairs. 

The linens were easy to find, and you stacked them into a manageable pile. It towered over your chin, obscuring your view, but you thought you could handle it. Using your legs to feel your way around, you wobbled but managed to catch yourself.

Maybe you should have taken a little less. 

You reached the door and froze. How would you open it? Just as you were about to give up, the door opened as if by magic.

“Oh, thank you,” you said, peeking over the pile.

“You’re welcome,” came his amused reply. An easy smile played on his lips. “We talked about incidents, didn’t we?” He took the top sheets from you and held the door open. You hesitated before obliging.

“Thank you, my lord,” you said, stepping inside and placing the linens on the empty bed. “But my lord shouldn’t help with this,” you were trying to sound as polite as possible. 

“Should I have let you struggle? Or fall again?” His tone softened as if unsure he could say it.

It was weird, the man you had met the first day was gone. He was careful, almost as if he were grazing the walls, making himself barely noticeable.

Then the handmaid's comment earlier came back to you. Surely you weren’t the reason. The thought was almost laughable. Of course not.

Men like him weren’t docile, it wasn’t in their nature.

“Well I’ll leave you to it!” he said 

“Yes, my lord” you said, turning to your task. She had trusted you with this and the room would be spotless when you finished. 

These interactions with him had become familiar, he would leave eventually. And just as you predicted, the sound of his boots faded down the hall. A sigh escaped your lips. Though you tried not to show it, his presence always weighed on you.

After a little while, you finished your task, satisfied with your work. Closing the door behind you, you set off to find the head maid, but she was nowhere to be seen. As you wandered through the manor, faint voices drifted into your ears, pulling your attention to the yard below.

“Are you stupid? Why would you do that?” one voice hissed.

Curious, you turned toward the commotion and spotted two maids standing near a cart.

“I can fix the wheel, we just need to get the tools,” one of them said tense.

“And who’s going to do that? If we let go, it’ll break for sure, and we won’t be able to repair it,” the other replied, exasperated.

“I can get the tools!” you called out, stepping into view. Both maids turned to you, startled.

“Oh, that would be a huge help,” one of them said, her relief evident in her voice.

“Wait,” the other interrupted, frowning. “We can’t ask her to go to the stable by herself. The head maid said we had to be careful.”

“I know where the stable is,” you chirped, though the thought of going there made your stomach churn. 

Under normal circumstances, you wouldn’t be caught dead near the stables. But two things weighed on you now. First, you’d already volunteered, taking it back would bruise your pride. Second, if the head maid saw that you’d completed this task alone and contributed to something important, she might finally let you take on more responsibility around the manor.

Besides, you just really wanted to help her.

You flashed the maids a confident smile, catching them off guard. “I’ll just grab the tools and come right back. There’s no strain or harm in it,” you explained.

“Very well, but be careful—”

Before she could finish, you were already rushing away. However, you slowed your pace slightly, you couldn’t shake the strange feeling that the head maid would somehow know if you’d started running.

You finally made it and stared at the stable door, chewing on your lip. The air smelled of hay and leather. Why would they store it here of all places? You told yourself you could do it : grab the tools and leave. They’re just horses. 

You’d ridden one here and survived, surely, you could manage this. Taking a deep breath, you stepped inside, ignoring the overwhelming snorts and shuffles of the horses around you.

Your eyes stayed focused as you scanned the space. The tools weren’t far. Relief began to settle until you froze. Your gaze landed on a familiar pair—not human, but horse. It huffed at you, stepping slightly to the side, as if recognizing you.

It was the beast that had carried you here only days ago, and it seemed to know who you were. It shook its mane, the sound startling you. You took an instinctive step back, gripping your dress as if to ground yourself.

Just grab the tools and leave. That’s all. Don’t interact. Don’t look at it.

But fate wasn’t on your side. The tools sat on a bench several meters away, right past the animal. 

The horse was tied with a cord, not quite inside the stall but far too close for comfort. You cursed under your breath. The stall was open, perhaps if you could coax it inside, you could grab the tools quickly and retreat.

You chewed the inside of your cheek, glancing back at the way you’d come. Telling them you couldn’t do it was an option, and the thought of admitting defeat burned. Asking for help? That would be unbearable.

You swallowed hard and let go of your dress. “Get out of the way,” you said, trying to sound firm, though your voice wavered. The horse didn’t budge. “Move!” you said louder. “Come on, you ugly thing.” You waved your hands in a shooing motion, but it stayed put, unimpressed.

“What are you doing?” a voice erupted, startling you. You whipped your head toward the stable entrance. A tall man stood there, his blonde hair and mustache catching the sunlight filtering through the stable windows. You’d never seen him before. 

He carried a bucket—feed, perhaps—and his sturdy build made it clear he spent time around animals. His blue eyes scanned you, not with hostility but curiosity, his head tilting slightly.

“I was told to retrieve the tools in the stable,” you said quickly. He waited for you to elaborate, “The horse is blocking the way.” You pointed at the beast.

He glanced behind the horse, then back at you. For any normal person, there was plenty of space to pass. He must have wondered why you hadn’t simply gone for it. “It won’t move,” you added defensively.

“Is that so?” he said, approaching. He walked, unhurried, the bucket swinging lightly at his side. His voice carried no urgency, just a calmness that filled the space.

“It could…kick me” you mumbled, he put the bucket down.  

“She could,” he said, offering no reassurance as he reached out to pat the horse’s nose. The animal leaned into his touch, a far cry from how it had treated you so far. “Asta doesn’t like strangers,” he explained, his voice soft. “She won’t listen if she doesn’t trust you. Especially if you are aggressive.”

“That thing is female?” you muttered, earning a quiet laugh from him.

“A mare, yes.” He patted the horse’s neck with pride. The horse responded to him, leaning into his touch as he ran a hand along her neck. You couldn’t help but notice how at ease he seemed.

The man chuckled, the sound was low but carried reassuring gentleness. “She doesn’t know you yet,” he added. “It takes her time to warm up.” His tone was even, as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

How could he speak so gently about a horse? His relaxed matter-of-fact tone eased your nerves despite yourself. It probably worked well on animals, which annoyed you slightly, but his words, though not overtly reassuring, made you feel less like a fool.

He clicked his tongue softly, tugging gently on Asta’s rope. “Come on, girl,” he murmured. The mare’s ears flicked toward him, and she stepped back into her stall without a fuss. The man shut the door behind her and turned to you.

“There,” he said, gesturing to the tools. “All yours.”

“Thank you,” you mumbled, stepping forward to grab the tools. Your hands trembled slightly, though you weren’t sure if it was from embarrassment or the lingering tightness in your chest.

He didn’t leave right away. He leaned against the stall door, brushing a bit of hay from his hands. He was a welcome shield between you and the mare.

“You did good,” he said, his voice soft but sure. “She’s intimidating at first, but you handle it next time.”

You blinked, startled by the unexpected encouragement. But you should be accustomed to it by now. The people in the manor are all like this it seems. Or at least, they were told to be. 

You nodded once, gripping the tools tightly as you turned toward the door.

“Thank you again..” 

“Alex,” he replied with a smile. “And you’re very welcome.”

With a quick nod you exited the stables, you weren't keen to stay longer than you needed. It was weird you’d never seen this man before. Then again you only had been here for a few days and never been to the stables. He put you at ease so effortlessly, unlike the others. Or perhaps you were simply growing comfortable.

You finally reached the maid who needed the tools. “It took you a while. Are you alright, dear?”

You’d said ‘I’m fine’ so many times that the words had begun to lose their meaning. You held back from saying it again. But this time, it was true. You were fine.

“Look at you, being all helpful,” the head maid said. You turned to meet her as she approached, walking alongside Farah, who smiled at you.

“I finished the bedroom just like you asked, Madame” you said, stepping toward them. The head maid smiled softly and nodded.

“I expected nothing less from you,” she said before turning to Farah. “Lady Karim wants to ask you something.”

Farah gave you a reassuring look that only made your heart race faster. “Don’t be alarmed, just answer honestly” she started.

Phrases like that served no purpose but to alarm the listener, hence your now racing heart.

“The madam you worked for before is still in custody,” she said. “We haven’t found her husband yet. We’re running out of leads.” 

You thought this matter was resolved. Farah glanced at the head maid before continuing, her words careful.

“You worked for them…you wouldn’t know where he might have gone, would you?” The question left a chill running down your spine. “A hidden manor, a place he could hide or bring his…mistress” though she hesitated with the last part, her gaze remained sharp as they searched yours for answers you didn’t have. You shook your head quickly, the knot in your stomach tightening. What could the man have stolen to cause so much trouble?

“Thought as much,” she muttered. You wanted to ask, but something about her tone made the matter feel too serious to pry. As if sensing your unease, Farah spoke again.

“Don’t worry, you are safe here. That coward wouldn’t dare come to the manor. He can’t hurt you anymore.” She smiled at you, you nodded her words settling over you in a way you didn’t like. Your old master wasn’t the only reason for your uneasiness, but you couldn’t tell her that. 

There were things you carried, secrets you doubted she’d forgive.

—

That night you just couldn't sleep. You tossed and turned, as the moonlight creeped into your bedroom. You are safe here. Her words kept playing in your head. In a way she was right, people were nice to you, you were fed and no one abused you. And most importantly the greatest threat in this house was almost never in sight. 

You were getting better but also growing comfortable here. You fought your resolve. One side was screaming for you to leave, the other relished in your comfortability. You tossed again. 

Staring at the ceiling, you let out a deep sigh of frustration. You close your eyes, cruising your brain trying to find something that could bring a semblance of peace to your mind and soften the tightness in your chest. 

Happier times, the castles, when you were little, you would sneak into the kitchen and your mom would help you with tisan and biscuit, tea being much too bitter for your taste. A sad smile reached your lips, as that fond memory came back.

Tisane—that’s what you needed. Your eyes open once more at the thought. You sat up. At this hour, the cook and everyone else were fast asleep. You battled with the idea just for a split second. All you had to do was to be discreet. During the day they would have given you the warm drink, right?

You sneaked out of the maids quarters, with a small candle in hand, you navigated the dark corridors, careful not to make a sound.

Reaching the kitchen, you almost pumped your fist in victory when you found the door unlocked. You slipped inside, the faint glow of your candle casting long shadows across the walls. 

You knew your way around the kitchen; you’d been here often enough. Spotting the herbs, you hesitated. Camomile would do, anything else felt too extravagant, and you didn’t want to risk reprimand.

Gathering what you needed, you fumbled with the kettle, smiling to yourself when you managed to keep it quiet. Little did you know, the light from your candle had caught someone’s attention.

Oblivious, you set about lighting the fire, crouching low to get the spark going. 

“Yes” you whispered, giddy with the thrill. It was risky, but it brought a spark of joy, a memory of the giggles and–

“Are you stealing tea, or just practicing your stealth skills?” 

You jumped, a scream ripping from your throat as the kettle clattered in your hands. A hand quickly covered your mouth and you were spun around. 

“Shhh, it’s just me! It’s just me!” Every ounce of teasing disappeared from his voice. You clutched your chest, heart pounding as you faced Kyle, your eyes wide and tears already building. He stepped back immediately, hands raised as if to calm you.

“Bloody hell,” he exclaimed. “Didn’t think you’d be this startled. I usually do it to Farah, but you’re not Farah, obviously. I’m at fault, I shouldn’t have done that,” he rambled, still trying to ease you. 

“Dear god” you muttered, closing your eyes and taking deep breaths to compose yourself.

“She usually hits me after. You can hit me if you want... Would that make you feel better?” he said, picking up the kettle from the ground and chasing after your eyes with his. 

You hug yourself, your heartbeat finally slowing. Thrills like this weren’t for you.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I’m–” You stopped, sighing as you forced yourself to be honest. “You scared me,” you muttered, avoiding his gaze as you busied yourself with the kettle. Your cheeks burned. You weren’t sure if it was from embarrassment or from admitting how you felt.

“Sorry,” he said again, stepping closer. “Let me help.”

“I’m perfectly capable,” you replied stiffly, though you didn’t stop him when he reached for the kettle from your shaking hands.

“It's okay, I'll take care of it.” he pulled a chair, making you sit down. He proceeded to prepare the kettle, filling it with water already in the kitchen and putting it over the fire.

He didn’t reprimand you, and at this point, you didn’t even expect it. As his fingers brushed the kettle handle, you focused on the gentle crackle of the fire.

After a long silence and a few glanced your way, he finally spoke again.

“You’ve calmed down?” he asked softly. You nodded, still clutching the cup.

“You shouldn’t sneak up on people,” you said, not looking away from the fire.

“Says the one creeping around like a thief,” he countered,

“I couldn’t sleep, I didn’t want to bother anyone” you said simply, he nodded. The room fell quiet again, letting stage to the crackle of the fire and distant chirps of crickets.

When it was ready he poured the warm drink in a cup putting it next to you.

“Mind if I make myself one too?”

“It’s your kitchen, my lord” you said matter-of-factly, avoiding his gaze.

“It is,” he said, "but I’m asking if you would mind my company?” he asked,

You glanced at him briefly, your grip tightening on the cup. After a pause, you shrugged.

“You won’t scream at me, will you?”

“As long as you don’t scare me again.” you said sipping from the cup before looking at him. 

His lips curled upward, through the flicker of the candle light, you saw the little glint in his eyes. 

“No promises,” he said with a toothy grin.

And then it happened, something frightening. Your heart quickened ever so slightly, catching you off guard. You shifted your gaze back to the cup in your hands. Surely, it was just fatigue. That had to be it. Anything else was too unsettling to consider. 

He sat next to you, his presence loud in the quiet room as you sipped the tisane.

Masterlist - Next

“Oh, there she is,” the gossiper maid said, crossing her arms. The head maid was nowhere to be seen. You were in for it. 

“You were waiting for me?” You asked, strutting to her, feigning oblivion.

“Yes, can you help me a bit?” She asked, You nodded “I am behind on my chores but can you bring this tea to master Garrick’s study?”

Another reason…

“Oh, I haven’t started mine yet.” You denied with a smile. “ I’m sure you could find one of your friends to do it,” you said, glancing at the other girls.

“I’ll do it if it’s such a problem,” one of the nicer girls said. 

“What? She is favoured, only doing the chores she likes now?” 

“Sorry?” You frowned. She talked as if you didn’t do your fair share of the work.

“You get a lot of favors around here don’t you?” She said, “A flutter of those pretty lashes and everyone falls over themselves to help you, while you feign innocence.” 

Holding back the scoff burning your throat, you tilted your head. Irritating her even more. 

“You leave a whole day with Lord Garrick, leaving us to do your chores, after swearing not to be involved,” 

“It was per his request!” One of the maids defended “I heard him,” she turned to you. 

“Excuse her, Master Garrick has been a bit irritable lately and she is the one who serves him, it’s really not against you, we are absolutely aware that you do more than just your share of the work everyday.” 

Kyle, irritable? That’s the first you heard of that. Looking around the room, it seemed you were the only one surprised at that statement. 

You turned to the table where sat the half set tea tray. 

“It’s fine, I’ll do it,” You sigh, walking to it. Carefully you gathered the rest of the assortments. 

“You don’t have to do it, my lady.” You froze, turning to her, your hand shaking.

Had Kyle lied to you? He told them, didn't he? “What did you just call me? Why did you call me that?” 

“You’re Master Garrick’s…” she hesitated while playing with her apron. “We’ve never seen him act this way before so we assumed.”

Your shoulders relaxed, and you exhaled slowly. You had gotten carried away again. 

“Don’t ever call me that again, and master Garrick doesn’t harbor this type of feeling for someone like me, be mindful of your words.” you said. She nodded rapidly.

“Sorry,” she bowed. You scowled, picking up the tray before making your way to the office. 

As crazy as it sounded, you had never been there. Not even for cleaning. It wasn't your area in the manor to take care of. Maybe they were right, you were favoured. 

Suddenly you found yourself standing in front of the study. 

You look back for a moment stunned. Wow, you really rushed here…you started noticing the little palpitations of your heart and the sweat in your palms as you stared at the door.

Balancing the tray in one hand, you reached and knocked.

There was no response. You leaned in to listen to muffled words. There were clearly people inside, more than one. They are probably expecting their tea.

Reaching for the doorknob, you push it open. You hadn’t even fully stepped in, that you were hit by a scent of polished wood and paper. Beneath all of it, a distinct hint of leather, lavender and herbs, scent that you had come to associate with one person. 

It smelled undeniably of Kyle, it was a room he spent hours in and some maids said he even slept there. You had been around him long enough to notice…how absurd.

What was more absurd. It was how warm your chest felt as if it was something you had been denying yourself for days.

Finally allowing yourself inside. First thing you saw was Farah’s back facing you, standing in front of the desk, eyes glued to Kyle. 

He was sitting at his desk, hand covering his forehead blocking from seeing his eyes. Not far Alex had an expression you hadn’t seen before. He concentrated a light crease on his forehead. Anyone could see whatever they were going through was troubling them. 

Kyle’s voice was gruff and tired as he spoke up, eyes fixed on the scattered papers in front of him.

“I can’t be everywhere, damn it!” 

“Yes, that’s why we should be sending Alex, it’s just a regular check. Suspect might not even be there.” Farah explained. 

They didn’t acknowledge you, it seemed like it wasn’t the best time.

You should hurry, set the tea, and leave. You walked further in, putting the tray down as softly as possible. 

Alex was the first to notice you, his frown turned into a soft smile. What a charming man. 

“You serve tea now?” He said, Farah’s head turned to you, but quickly returned to Kyle.

“Sorry to have interrupted you.” You replied, your attempt at sounding casual fell flat when Kyle's head snapped up at the sound of your voice, startling you. 

His tired eyes widened slightly before narrowing slightly trying to make sure you were there. He looked a bit out of it. Could someone have a shift in such a short period of time? Or was it just you never saw him working? He was searching for words that weren't coming.

His eyes flicked from his desk frantically then at Farah who raised her brow, in a challenging manner. She then turned to you with a sigh. 

“Darling, could you excuse us for a minute? We have important matters to take care of.” Farah dismissed. She had never called anything other than your nickname, it must be serious. You bowed, nodding your head.

“Yes, of course my Lady. I apologize.” wiping your sweaty hand on your dress before turning your heels. 

“Wait,” Kyle called “Did you need anything, from me?” He asked, you should be the one asking that. His eyes were looking, desperately searching, as if at your first word he would peep over the desk and follow you. It was pitiful really. Your eyes then went to Farah her arms were still crossed, and looked at you with an insistent stare. It was obvious you shouldn’t interfere.

“I was instructed to bring you this, my Lord,” you explained, gesturing to the tea, his eyes finally acknowledging the tray. “That is all, I’ll leave you to it.” 

“Right…thank you.” he muttered.

“As I was saying, Alex will go, he’s from this kingdom he will blend in better than us.”

“Can I bring the little duck with me?” Alex asked.

“Where?” You quipped, turning involuntary. Damn it, that was rude. Alex chuckled at your outburst.

“Do you want to go?” He asked. “ We'll practice horse riding. It's an hour and a half away and today the market will be bustling. What do you say?” 

You’d get a chance to see the markets too!

“Absolutely not—” Kyle's voice erupted.

“I would love to—” You blurred out over him.

The room fell silent as Kyle looked at you, his expression a bit affronted. And you didn’t argue but was a bit surprised. It was the first time he had refused you something. Alex raised a brow as you turned to him. 

“I guess not. Sorry, My Lord,” you said. Though Kyle wasn’t in control of you. He was still your master, if you were needed in the house, you couldn’t leave. Plus you’d be into more trouble with the maids. It was for the best. Though going to the market might have been a nice. 

Alex stepped closer to the desk. “It’s only a short trip Garrick, and since it’s still early, we will be back by sundown.” 

“It’s not about the ride,” Kyle warned.

“You got her out too, what’s the issue?” Farah said, putting her hands on her hips. 

“In the outskirts” Kyle's voice raised slightly as he spoke “With no real danger” Kyle defended. What did it sound like they were discussing ownership of a pet? Also, weren’t the woods just as dangerous? 

“You said there were wolves, My Lord.” you muttered 

Farah let out a scoff, looking at him in a mocking way. He frowned, clearly taking a defensive stance.

“There are, sometimes” he crossed his arms. They were both staring daggers at each other. 

“Kyle, every other maid gets to leave to see their family once in a while, can’t you let her have a moment too?” she asked. “Besides, It won’t be dangerous, Alex is with her. He’ll blend in better if she’s with him.” 

Kyle did not look convinced, this conversation would go nowhere. It was best if you put an end to it and you had wasted enough time here as it is.

“It’s really fine, my lady. I like the manor, I am here to serve the premise, it is normal for the master to not wish for me to leave” 

Kyle finger tapped on the desk as he stared at you for a moment. His voice was quieter as he spoke “If you give me just a moment more I can finish and—” 

“They’ll be fine, Gaz.” Farah said softly, but her voice still held a stern insistence.  

“Alright,” he muttered reluctantly, his finger drumming on the desk a bit more erratic now, “but don’t stay longer than you need,” he added, his eyes did not meeting yours, but you could see his jaw clench. Such a small matter got him like this.

With this type of reaction, you were not sure if it was really a ‘yes’. Your head whipped to Alex, who grinned as though he just got a new toy. It was all the confirmation you needed. Your chest burned with excitement. 

“Go on, go get ready,” he gestured towards the door. “Join me in the stables,” he instructed.

“Yes, Sir!” you said unable to hide your smile, for a second your eyes flicked to Kyle again, he was staring back, his brows were knit. You grabbed your dress and did a quick curtsy. “Thank you, my lord,” you added as you hurried out. Hopefully, he wouldn’t be any more upset. 

— After preparing the horse the way Alex had taught you, it was time to mount her. He helped you and when everything was secured. You left. 

The first few minutes were daunting. You had only ridden Asta once before this and Alex had been guiding you the whole time.

But here you were on the horse alone while he was riding beside you.

You look at the horse beneath you, watching its muscle flexing under its shiny skin. 

“How are you feeling?” Alex asked. But you remained silent watching the horse for when it might eventually kick you off. 

“Go on, talk to me.” Alex said lightly.

“I’m feeling well,” you mustered. “We are really high up, aren’t we?” 

“If you keep thinking about falling, you will.” He teased “What are you afraid of now? It’s Asta, you know her and she knows you, she’s a good girl today.”

You reached touching the warm skin “Good girl Asta” you mumbled, hand trembling slightly but it wasn’t as dreadful as the first time you touched her.

“That’s great,” Alex praised, “Now, let us not spend the remainder of the trip silent, shall we? Converse with me, you’ll be more comfortable.” he instructed, you had to admit he was a good teacher. 

“You and lady Karim insisted for me to come today…why” you said, sending quick glances your hands to him.

“Don’t look at the reins.” he corrected, you straightened your back looking at the path, “Do you always believe people have ulterior motives, can’t they just be nice to you?” he continued.

“My…father often said there is always a price for kindness, why give it when you have nothing to gain.” You said honestly.

“That’s…awful, and pessimistic” Alex said looking at you with a frown.

“It is…isn’t it,” you muttered looking at him. “I never realised until I said it just now?” You chuckle awkwardly. “But I can’t help thinking about it…” you finished looking down at your hands. 

“Chin up.” You quickly straightened your back again. “I guess you’re not entirely wrong. We're closing in on a lead and it might be my last days in the manor,” he said as your eyes turned to him.

He was a guest, the thought that he would eventually leave had crossed your mind. But this soon? “This is why I wanted to spend a little moment with you.” He smiled still as soft as before, you smiled back it felt easy with him.

“Wouldn’t you want to spend it with Lady Karim?” You tilted your head to the side. His eyes narrowed as his smile widened.

“Sharp, aren’t we?” He said, turning to face the road. 

“You didn’t hide it very well…you’re not going to deny it?” You asked, surprise.

“Why would I? I know my feelings besides, even if you told her, she wouldn’t believe you.” He raised his brows slightly. Did he think he was the only one feeling this way? Was it not clear she also liked him? 

“Still, she must be feel saddened by your departure, I’m sure,” you pressed.

“You might have noticed, the atmosphere back there did not leave much room for romantics, not much time to feel saddened either.” he shrugged. 

Farah did look uncharacteristically serious this time and Kyle lacked his usual playful demeanour. 

“The two seemed intense, yes…did something bad happening?” You inquired. Alex pondered for a little while before answering.

“Nothing that won’t be fixed. And as for the two they quarrel like siblings all the time, you shouldn’t worry about it either,” Alex explained with another raise of his shoulder.

“Not the type of sibling I know, he treats her like his equal, he listens to her. Besides, the way she speaks to him…would cause severe punishment.”

“Duck, how cruel were your kin?” He asked, 

“They weren’t…cruel. ” you tried defending. Alex's eyes narrowed. “I’m weak-minded, and need discipline, and that’s exactly what I was taught.” 

“You seem strong to me.” He said “for one you are riding the very thing you feared”

“I wasn’t back then, besides they were my blood, I have to understand their motives were just.” 

“A kin is kind to you, they help, or guide you when needed, yes you might quarrel or tease each other at times, but are not cruel to you.” 

“A bit like you and me?” You blurred out before you could stop yourself, heat creeping on your cheeks.

“A bit like us, yes,” he nodded gently, you suppressed a smile. 

“Blood is what makes a real family” you assured. He squinted at you. 

“You have a childish way of thinking don’t you?”

“Sorry?” You said.

“It’s not an insult more like an observation,” he defended “When you were little didn’t you have friends you were really close with, some so close it was ailing?” 

“My mother…”

“Not in your family, silly” Alex chuckled, you shook your head. He seemed surprised, do kids have a lot of friends? Should you have lied? But it seemed like you didn’t need to. 

 “Did you?” You asked he nodded smiling

“My father helped feed most of our village so, I did have a lot of very close friends” he beamed, he was a proud son it seems. “some of them ended up being my brothers-in-arms, people I can count on and would die for.”

He was such a picturesque image of righteousness, and his humble background might have made him the perfect knight. Even generous enough to give you time, and be so kind. He tilted his head at you. 

“What?” 

“Your father must be proud of having raised a son like you,” your comment must have caught him off guard. He gave you a sad smile and nodded.

“I’m sure he would be. He was a great man.” He muttered.

How tragic. A person who gives so much, losing someone so important to them. “If I may…was it illness?”

“He was generous, and loved by many, the previous king didn’t like that…I guess that’s how he dealt with everything back then. He crushed any type of hope his people had, they had to grovel to him for help.” 

His hand tightened on the reins, “ my father died in prison, accused of treason,” he scoffed “for feeding starving people”

“That’s—”

“Vile,” he spat, the words were not directed towards you, but you quickly averted your gaze.

“I’m sorry” you mumbled.

“You shouldn’t apologize, the bastard is dead,” his eyes got colder. “Along with his wretched bloodline. The current king, though a bit sketchy at times, is a god sent, his sons are the most hardworking people I know….” 

He continued to speak, your head was straight ahead. But you were not there, your heart beating through your ears. You couldn’t hear a word he said.

Do this, to a farmer…? Your father’s decision was incomprehensible. It couldn’t have been over something so simple. But Alex wouldn’t lie, and his voice was raw, laced with an undeniable anger—anger toward your family, toward you. 

You’d heard these tales before, but never from the mouth of someone, you would say you trust. You need to regain yourself. You couldn’t show it troubled you. If he found out. They think you’re dead, they think you’re dead. Alex wouldn’t—

A distant voice ringed in your ears before as a warm hand covered yours.

“Duck…” The softness of his voice almost made you curl up and cry. But you held yourself back and looked at the hand then met Alex’s comforting eyes. He was off his horse and staring up at you,  his hands on the reins and Asta was put into a halt.

You gathered your surroundings, noticing you were now at the entrance of the village. The gray walls stand tall, and the faint chatter coming from beyond it.

“I was lost in my thoughts…” you managed to say. He sighed helping you down the horse. Your legs were a bit numb as they hit the ground.

“It’s normal, it was quite the journey” you nodded, allowing yourself to hold onto him. Despite your guilty heart you didn’t want to push away. You were so horrible. He hesitated before speaking again. “I’m sorry, I forgot my manners, I really shouldn’t talk this way in front of you.” 

“Alex you shouldn’t apologize,” you started. 

“I scared you again, didn’t I? I'm sorry.” He said rubbing your side.

You swallowed the lump in your throat.

“Come on. Let’s get these horses set, and I’ll buy you something sweet to make up for it, yeah?” 

All you could do at that moment was nod, forcing a smile. “That sounds nice” you managed to say but your chest was still heavy.

He cursed your whole bloodline, he cursed you. Yet here he was, being kind, and you indulge in it, unwilling to let go of this new found warmth.

It wasn’t fair to either of you. 

Masterlist - Next

You started to say yes but shook your head instead. “I don’t have any money, but looking is just fine.” you mumbled.

“I was told to get whatever you’d like, no questions asked.” He shrugged. He was told?

“Was it—” you didn’t need to finish your sentence, he was beaming, so you refrained ready to decline once more.

“I can’t possibly spend his money.” you muttered.

“Don't worry, I’ll do it for you,” he scrunched his nose teasingly, before dragging you along.

You made it through the market. The smell of food and spices invaded your nose, followed by a cacophony of broken conversations, merchants heckling, and the clucking of chickens ready for sale, all, overwhelmed your senses. This market was bigger than the other village you were in. Bustling, very much alive. 

You stuck closer to Alex not wanting to lose him in the crowd. You wanted to reach for his arm but you weren’t sure you were allowed to. He took notice and reached for your arm wrapping it around his. 

“I would get scolded if I were to lose you,” he said, unable to help himself. You leaned into his calmness once again and tried to let yourself breath, taking in all the surrounding movement, not allowing it to take over.

“There are a lot of people,” you observed, gripping a hint tighter on his arm. 

“It’s a really busy town, it’s not far from the port, hence a lot of merchants from all around come here.” Alex explained “Which means all kinds of good.” 

You continue to marvel at the different stands. Your eyes landed on the fabric merchant stall. 

Fabrics of various colors wrapped in tight rolls, some you had seen only when you were a princess, others you had never seen in a dress or were not allowed to wear as they was not ‘proper colors’. 

There were satchels too, and a few wooden mannequins with dresses on display.

One of them caught your eyes, making you stop in your tracks, feeling the tug Alex pulled back and turned his attention back to you. 

You let go of him, admiring the dress. Lavender with white embroidery on the neckline and waist. It was simple but much prettier than anything you’d worn in recently. Your legs carried you closer until you were standing right in front of it. 

You reached to touch it, your fingers running over the detailed linings of the collar, then over to the rest of the fabric it was soft as it looked. “It’s simple,” Alex said over your shoulder, his voice soft enough to not startle you.

“The color is nice,” you mumbled, examining closer.

“You are right, my lady has good eyes.” The merchant finally spoke up. Your heart leaped darting from Alex back to the merchant.

“I’m not a lady,” you quickly corrected her. “The craftsmanship, it’s…very good,” you praised, it looked familiar but you couldn’t pinpoint it. 

“Thank you, my lady,” the merchant said, “I have made many noble men and women's attire, I am not surprised a fair woman like you would know.”

This is where you’ve seen this detailed work. Your mother had simple dresses like this. It was an old one she was really fond of, she never wore them, they were kept away in a chest with all the thing related to her life before your father.

“I see,” you muttered “well thank you and, good luck with your work.” you added, your lips pulling tightly, abruptly turning to leave. Alex frowned following you.

“Where are you going?” He asked, “You left the dress.” 

“She make dresses for nobles, you heard her, something a servant like me shouldn’t wear.”

“But you like it ?” he retorted, stopping you.

“Let’s go get something to eat,” 

Alex crossed his arms, "You didn’t answer the question. Do you like it?”

You glanced away, trying to ignore the flutter in your chest. Of course you did. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not—”

“It does matter.” He cut you off. 

“I would never get to wear it,” you refused. 

“Nonsense,” he walked back to the merchant. You quickly tried to stop him. “How much?”

“Alex!” You hissed, grabbing his arm. “Stop. We can’t—”

The merchant rattled off a price, making your eyes widen. 

“For a single dress?” you uttered in disbelief.

“This color is not easily made, the ingredients are treacherous to find, making it so vibrant is also tedious work, Madame.” 

Alex handed over the coins with a nod, not even bothering to haggle. “Now,” he clapped his hands, turning back to you, “let’s see it.”

“Here?” you asked, eyes wide. Looking around the busy market place. He laughed at your ridiculous words. 

The merchant gestured to a small partition behind the stall. “We have a space for fittings, my Lady.”

“Not a Lady,” you sigh, turning to the knight grinning at your side. 

Reluctantly you took the dress and disappeared behind the curtain.

Putting on the dress you noticed the fabric was softer than you expected, it was gentle against your arms and loose over your undergarments. The lacing in the back made it easy to adjust the bust. However the hem dragged slightly on the ground and it needed to be adjusted in some places. Well it wasn’t a tailored dress after all. Other than that it felt and looked great. This color particularly was pulling on you.

You look down at yourself, smiling, satisfied. Alone in the stall, you held your side breathing slowly. It was so nice. This was so nice. Your smile slowly faded. Even in the loud market it suddenly felt quiet, though outside was loud.

You could breathe. Alex wasn't suffocating but just as you were starting to get comfortable, you realized you had to keep a front, even with him. Especially with him. 

You crouched down, trying to push away the thoughts but it only made them louder. 

You knew something was off, your Father wasn’t a warm man. You heard the way they cheered and celebrated his death. But you chose to ignore it. You ignore your people's pain, the same pain Alex felt, and loathe them for it. 

You should have got involved, questioned but you stayed quiet in the castle, not daring to talk back or get anything done all because they were your family, your blood, how pathetic. 

Kyle was right you were just spoiled Princess who ignored you people. This life you was your punished and deserved it You took another breath in but small space started to get stuffy. Trying, fighting the urge to recoil on yourself, hide, not show yourself. it would be easier.

“Hey, are you alright?” You heard from the other side. You quickly stood up. Blinking your stress away. 

“Yes! Just a moment please!” You yelled back, tying the last knot on the lacings. "It's just a dress, YN," you mumbled to yourself.

Taking a deep breath in then out before stepping out. Alex was leaning casually against the stall, arms crossed. His smile returned as he saw you.

“What gratifying splurge,” He said.

You rolled her eyes, but your lips twitched upward despite yourself. You wanted his carefree to rub off on you, not to ruin his mood. He didn’t deserve this awful truth, it wasn’t for you, but for him. 

Looking down at the dress you explained “It’s too long, and should be loosened in some places.”

“Details,” Alex replied, waving you off as strode closed. “We’ll get it tailored later. For now, do you like it?” he asked, gesturing for you to spin around. Which you did while nodding.

“I do, thank you”

“And Lord Garrick of course. Mostly Lord Garrick.” he said, fixing the sleeve of the dress. You send him an annoyed look. “I told you I would tease,” he shrugged. Your eyes narrowed but he only got more amused. “I’ll only get worse, I promise.” He continued, then it seemed something crossed his mind, 

Had Kyle sent him on a mission? 

You raised a brow. “Why do you keep mentioning him at every turn?” 

“I’m keeping myself safe.” He chuckled, “If asked, I didn’t buy it for you, he did, I’m serious” 

You could mention Farah but he would have a clever answer at the ready, moreover he was staring you down as if daring you, he was clearly ready for it.

The merchant came closer head low. “I can adjust it so the hem don’t drag in the mud, come, my lady” 

A sigh escaped you, she was really insisting, not bothering anymore, you followed her into the back. Throughout she sent you a few glances, but you paid no mind. 

After the dress was fixed, you continued to stroll around the market buying some food and seeing more interesting things.

“You’re really easy to please.” He stated, with a content smile, as you finished the last piece of the honey cake he got you a few stalls down.

“I’ve never had a dress this color before,” you admitted. “I have to wear this as much as I can, I can't wear this in the manor. It is not suitable for labor, and the maids…” 

“They cause you trouble?” Alex questioned.

“No,” you refuted, shaking your head “I'm far from crying over some mean comments, I've heard worse,” you brushed off. “but if they keep thinking Lord Garrick is too close to a maid, his reputation as Lord might...” you trailed off.

“You worry about him?” Alex mocked. 

“I'd rather not be blamed for his decline in popularity. I've been there before.” You replied.

“There is no need to worry yourself, being who he is, he's also heard worse,” he said. 

“For taking land?” You quipped, 

Alex paused looking at you. “For being adopted.” 

That the first you heard that, again you didn't not much about him apart that he was a knight. As you mostly avoided Knights like the plague. “Why would he be shunned for that?” You finally asked in disbelief.

“Some folks don't like it when people like us get in positions of power. Especially nobles, old ones at least.” he explained. This was a risky conversation. 

“So he was an orphan?” You asked, rubbing your side. He also had a humble background, was any of the knight, of noble blood?

“I guess it's another thing you two have in common.” 

“Oh joy” your voice was full of sarcasm. 

“Morbid, but a similarity nonetheless,” Alex insisted, you were learning more than you wanted. But for some reason you were curious for more. 

“What are the other points we share?” You asked, playing with the sleeve of your new dress.

“You would like to know, huh?” Alex  teased, “Does our lord Garrick intrigues you?” he laughed.

“I’m starting to think that I won't miss you” you grumbled 

“Yes, you will,” he chuckled. 

You stopped in front of a building, Alex looked at you leaning in slightly. “Now, kin, can you behave while I run some important errands?” He asked.

“Yes,” you assured him. 

“It might be a bit longer, you’re sure you can stay alone?” He hesitated looking around again. 

“I have lived in the streets, Sir Keller” you mocked a hand on your hip. “A little market won’t swallow me,” 

He raised his hands, and close his eyes nodding in approval, “You're right, I'm sorry." he reach handing you the little pouch. "If you need anything, but don’t go too far.” He instructed, you nodded but he still looked hesitating.

“I'll get you something!” You smile sheepishly. 

“You better.” He replied before finally walking inside.

You secured the pouch, you'd get something for Farah too. You thought about Kyle but wouldn't it be ridiculous to buy him something with his own money. Also that would be too amicable of you, he would get ideas. 

You continue your way into the town. You made sure to stay close enough from where Alex was. You'd buy more of that delicious cake you had earlier would be less of a problem than an actual gift. 

As you were walking up to the stall you felt a light tug on your dress. You look down to see a small boy. 

“Please Miss,” he called, you glanced  around looking for adults but there was none. He looked a bit dirty, and roughed up.

“Oh, hello, darling,” you looked down at him. “ Are you lost?” You asked, still glancing around. 

He shook his head no. You noticed the stand where you were standing and a smile formed on your lips. 

“Do you want cake?” You asked the boy who looked at you, he was about to say yes but seemed to battle with something. 

“No please miss, you got to help,” He started again. 

“Help with what?” You insisted, 

“There is no time, please you have to come.” He persistently tugged at your dress.

“I can’t.” you said looking around, for someone else to help him, Alex told you not to go too far. You weren’t the only one able to help. It was odd.

Suddenly he started to sob. 

“Hey, no, don't cry, we'll find someone to help.” You cooed, rubbing his side. What was wrong with you, you were so paranoid, you were wary of a child. 

“Oh please miss, no one wants to help.” He cried it was pretty convincing 

“Please tell me what it is and we’ll—“ 

He didn’t speak, only sobbed, gaining a few looks but he was right no one bothered or gave him attention. You'll see if it’s urgent, you’d ask Alex if needed, it was a child after all. 

“Alright then,” you gave in, letting him drag you away.

You followed the little boy up until he wanted to drag you in a shaded alley. Yes, it was most definitely odd. You quickly let go of his hand and took a step back. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea. “Listen, if you really need help, I will get someone who is bigger and will be able to help you.” you spin your heels but the path was blocked by a man. 

He was menacing, his clothes were worn, but he held himself as though he was more important than he looked. A small knife secured at his waist. There was no way to slip past him. You turned again, to run but you were met with a less than pleasing sight. 

The boy was handed a few coins by a second man before rushing away, not even looking back. 

Damn it!

You should’ve trusted your instincts.

“Why in such a rush, my lady?” the second man asked, smirking. He looked more confident than the one behind you but not any less threatening.

“What is this?” You asked, keeping your tone casual, still looking for an escape. 

“This lady was parading with a knight.” The second man taunted, putting his coin purse away and coming closer, you took a few steps back.

“I’m sure you are mistaken—” A hand covered your mouth and suddenly you felt an object poking your side. When you looked down at it, the glare of the blade made your breath hitch.

“Walk forward and don’t make a scene, or I’ll rip your guts from behind, do you understand?” The first one mumbled next to your ear, his knife slowly travelling to a more hidden space on your back. Your stomach flipped, you couldn’t help but nod your head.

His hand slid to your side, guiding you out of the shadowed alley. Your eyes darted frantically, looking for Alex or any person who could help you at this point.

“Eyes forward!” he snapped, shoving you hard, you’d fall forward if it wasn’t for his tight grip on your side. The second man strolled casually behind as they walked you to the outskirts of the city. 

The sound of the people dimmed as you were getting further and further out and into the large wooded area. Your heart hadn’t stopped pounding; they were thieves weren’t they?

You wanted to run, but the earlier threat was too gruesome for you to try anything this bold. This was another retribution wasn’t it. For every breath you took, smile you showed, you had to pay ten folds... 

No. You needed to stop walking, if you let them get further, you would never get back to Alex. You had to be smart. You dig your heels, the blade nicked at your dress and you bite a small whimper.

“Aren’t we far enough?” You asked, “ you can take the gold, that's all I have.”

“You think I care about your gold?” The armed man growled, his blade poking further. You closed your eyes, breathing in.   

“Y-yes. That's all you should care about. You don’t need anything else, please, I don’t have anything else” you stammer. “Just take the coins, will you!”

He flipped you over his hand slamming your shoulder against the rough bark of a tree. You gasped, eyes wide as pain shot through your spine. 

He leaned in, his breath hot and rancid against your cheek. “Tell me why the knights are here!”

You blinked, “I’m sorry?” 

“You were parading with that royal knight, you thought your were discreet? I can always smell the stench of a King’s man. You came for me and my brother didn’t you?” He insisted 

“This is a misunderstanding, I'm just a servant.” you blurted, eye flicking between the two men. “I don’t know who you are! And I couldn’t care less about the king, I can assure you!” You defend.

“A servant?” His eyes narrowed, gesturing to you with the knife. “Dressed like this? Carrying that much coin? No—you’re lying.”

“M-My master is really generous…but I promise, I really have no idea what you are talking about.” You pleaded, “How about you pull that knife back and we talk, yes? ”

“Don’t lie to me!” He threatened by raising his knife to your face, your eyes snap shut as you flinch. 

“Wait a minute,” The smiling one said, pushing his brother aside and snatching your face with his dirty hands, you fought the urge to recoil in disgust. How dare he touch you this way. “I know her, I've seen her before.” He furrowed his brows, his disgusting smirk seemingly getting more vile the longer he looked. “You were one of that merchant's servants, weren't you?”

They knew your previous master? If he was like the other pigs that used to come to the house, this wouldn’t be any good.

“Who?” his brother questioned.

“The one they arrested a week ago for treason, but just like us he was a noble trying to get back what was rightfully his.” 

So it was something serious, you knew, the knight wouldn’t do so much commotion just for a little theft.

You did remember your old master rambling about being greater than the meager life he was living in, but for someone who had lost everything he was living better than all the villagers who revered him and his generosity was always out of pure convenience. From the looks of it these disgusting men were just the same. 

“He used to play with this one,” his eyes went over your face down at you.

Yes, he was one of them pigs. You pursed your lip, trying to pull away in anger. The man continued.

“But you were pulling him along, another spy sent by the king’s bastard child.” 

What? 

“These barbarians don’t value blood, so a little whore like you thought you could be something? Vermin stays vermin no matter what title they give themselves.” 

“I have to agree,” you spat. He chuckled 

“I got to say, it was a convincing little scene back at that magistrate office, acting like you weren’t that fake lord's whore all along.” he finished chuckling.

You suddenly scowled. Who the fuck was he talking about so freely? It only angered you further by how amused he was by your reaction. A tight squeeze of your neck squashed your growing defiance and your breath in the same beat. 

“You cunning girl, what should we do with you?” he asked, not looking away from you still desperately trying to loosen his grip, nail clawing at his wrist.

“I’m telling the truth!” You coughed, The last thing you would do would be to ally yourself with the King or his children, bastard or not.

While the man holding you seemed amused, his brother seemed more agitated, walking back and forth.

“That means they came to arrest us! How much do they know?” He yelled.

It seemed your words were coming out but were not heard. You remained silent. 

“Fine! We’ll just bleed it out of you then?” The agitated man grunted out. His brother continued to sneer, pulling out his own knife. Your eyes widened, and shook your head violently, trying to wiggle out of his hands. Torture was something you knew you couldn’t handle. And besides it would only be pain for something you ultimately did not know.

“Please! I swear, I don’t know anything!” 

Before the second men could step any closer a whistling, whooshing sound cut through the air. You saw an arrow pierce his shoulder. The pain caused him to turn away from you. A second later a second one hit his heart with a sickening thump piercing flesh. Your eyes widened following as his limp body hit the ground. 

You were yanked off the tree, and slammed against the remaining man’s chest, the knife now dangerously pressing down your neck. Perfect view of the shooter, Alex, standing there holding an arrow extended on his bow. 

Masterlist - Next

Throughout the walk, he would stop to show and explain numerous plants to you. It seemed like there were more poisonous plants than edible ones in these woods. You clearly would not be able to survive from foraging alone.

Maybe it was his goal all along, making you doubt yourself. He was just showing you how inadequate you were.

You held tight to the basket in your hand as your heels crushed the mix of mud and leaves beneath your feet.

He stopped, his eyes catching on something as he held the branch aside to clear the way. 

Though he didn’t hold his hand to you this time, his eyes were glued to your feet, as if at any misstep he would be ready to catch you. 

When you were safely standing beside him, Kyle turned to a thick, leafy bush, the sunlight dappling over its dark purple berries. He gestured toward it, his brow raised in question.

“Alright, tell me—do you eat these or not?”

Another one of these. He didn’t just talk your ears off, he also tested you along the way. His constant testing wasn’t just tiring; it felt like entertainment at your expense.

Cornered again, you obliged. First, you searched his face for the answer, but he let out nothing.

“Yes?” you muttered in case you were wrong. Glancing up at him, he said nothing still. Was that not the answer?

“No,” you quickly backpedaled, “of course not.” You glanced to the side, catching the faintest twitch of amusement at the corner of his mouth. What was so funny?

Kyle placed his hands on his hips, tilting his head. “Yes or no? Which is it?”

“Looks good to me, my lord,” you muttered. You had made several mistakes earlier; evidently, you didn’t know plants. Couldn’t he just leave it at that? Give up, damn it. 

He sighed, closing his eyes briefly.

“You’re not taking this seriously,” he scolded. “How are you going to survive out here if you can’t figure out something this simple?” He crossed his arms staring you down.

“Surely my lord has better uses for his time. I should tend to my chores. What would the other maids think, seeing me spend the day in the woods with you? It wouldn’t be proper for someone of your stature.” You tried to reason with him, but he gave you an unimpressed look.

“You are tending to me. That’s your duty. They wouldn’t dare to speak against it.” He said firmly. His eyes narrowed as if challenging you. “Now tell me, yes or no, could you eat those? Hurry, I’m not as patient as I look.”

Your brother had always called you soft, and maybe he was right. But was it betrayal if you were just learning? It was Kyle, yes, but you were learning this to get away from him. That made it fine…didn’t it?

You swallowed a sigh, turning to the bushes again, taking another closer look. Even though you played stubborn, you did listen and didn’t like being wrong. The earlier mistakes had left a sour taste in your mouth.

Ignoring the heat rising in your stomach under his gaze, you picked a berry, bringing it to your nose. No apparent odor. Your fingers brushed the smooth leaves as you inspected it further.

“The leaves are smooth, not textured. And the berries grow singly, not in clusters.” You chewed on the inside of your cheeks. “There’s no sweet smell either,” you mumbled as you straightened your back, feeling the warm flush of satisfaction in your chest as you turned to him. “I wouldn’t eat them.”

He nodded, his amusement now overt, though his voice remained stern. “That’s correct. But,” he held a finger up, “there are exceptions to those rules.”

You knit your brow, thinking. “Blueberries,” you replied carefully, remembering his earlier lessons.

“Good,” he nodded “Are there others?”

You shifted on your feet, trying to recall the other exception he’d mentioned. It was one you weren’t familiar with. It was on the tip of your tongue. Damnit! It was right there. 

“What was the trick to remember it?” you muttered to yourself.

“Ro…” he hinted.

“Ro…row and berries..!” you muttered, remembering your word association trick. “Rowanberries!” you exclaimed, pointing before pressing your mouth in a tight line, eyes wide, surprised by your own outburst.

“Rowanberries.” He nodded gently. “See, I knew you would get it,” he praised. You hated how your chest warmed at the praise.

He started leading the way again. “Now, what do you do when you’re unsure, like earlier?” he asked over his shoulder. 

“I don’t eat them,” you replied matter-of-factly. Echoing his exact words of earlier “Better hungry than dead.”

“Exactly,” he said, the faintest trace of pride in his voice again. “You’re a fast learner. Let’s go find actual edible ones, yeah?”

“Yes, my lord,” You followed closely, watching attentively where you put your feet. You’ll have to do a lot of scrubbing to get the dirt out. 

You continued further into the woods. He spoke up again.

“We’re looking for blackberries. They grow around here. We should find some next to clearings,” he explained. 

He seemed well-taught about this. Wouldn’t lords send servants for these kinds of tasks? He was a knight, yes, he would know how to get his way through the forest.

But it was more than practical knowledge; he was educated. 

Yet most of the thing you saw was what not to eat. Well of course, he would know about poisonous berries. It’s important tools for someone as vile as—

“Watch your step, this patch is slippery,” he said gently. Guiding you on the other side.

Your jaw clenched, gripped tightening on the basket again. You did as told and he continued as if nothing had happened.

“Here, edible berries.” he beamed as you reached a clearing. He turned to you with a proud smile, but it faltered slightly. Was your expression too serious just now? His eyes grew soft.

“We’ll pick a few and head back if you’re tired. Be careful when picking; these bushes are thorny,” he warned. You nodded, not paying much mind.

You crouched, reaching to pick the berries, placing them in your basket. Reaching far, the thorn snagged the sleeve of your dress, biting at your skin. You winced, about to pull on it, but a gentle hand held your wrist, delicately pulling the thorns away, freeing you.

“I told you to be careful. Pulling like that would’ve torn your skin,” he said, his hand lingered, thumb running over the inflamed line on the back of your hand. You ripped your hand free.

“I’ll keep that in mind, my lord,” you mumbled, cursing your heart to be quiet. You returned to your task, moving a bit further away from him.

The silence was only in the clearing, your head mind was restless, you suddenly remembered what the maids had said the other day. Without thinking you spoke up.

“You’ve been to my village before, my lord?”

Kyle’s movement slowed, just enough to catch your attention. His back remained straight as he adjusted the basket in his hand.

“Why do you ask?” he finally asked, his voice low, and careful.

“One of the maids mentioned it,” you replied, watching his shoulders tense ever so slightly.

He let out a soft exhale. “I have,” he admitted, glancing over his shoulder.

“How come I’ve never seen you?” If you had known he frequented the village, you would have left.

“I can be discreet,” he  simply said. That’s true; you recalled when he was barely there at some point in his own home. His eyes returned to the bushes. “I’ve seen you, though.”

He had seen you at your lowest—broken, filthy—and it wasn’t just that one time, the thought made your stomach churn. It wasn’t pity in his tone, but the memory still clawed at you, a bitter taste forming in your mouth.

“You were going through a lot. But you also look like you didn’t want to be bothered. You always do,” he said that, but lately, he was constantly invading your space. He chuckled as if fully aware of it.

Your chest tightened, his laugh striking a nerve you didn’t know you had. “Is that why you’re saying I should stay? To bother me?” You knew it wasn’t kindness—but could it really be something so childish?

He stopped this time, turning fully to face you. His expression was cautious, his eyes scanning your face as if searching for something.

“Not entirely,” he replied, his tone neutral, though his gaze made you uneasy.

“Why are you helping me today? Wouldn’t you want me to depend on you?” you pressed, gripping the basket tighter.

Kyle hesitated, his gaze flicking briefly to the bush before returning to you. “Because I know I can’t force you to stay, and because I understand why you’d be afraid of me.”

You blinked, standing up startled. “Afraid?”

He nodded, mirroring you, his sharp eyes boring into you. He bit his lip nervously before speaking again. “That day at the magistrate, you had a look in your eyes like you knew me.” 

“Everyone in the village did, my lord.” You defended, 

“No, it’s not the stares I usually get. I know the difference between reverence and hatred. You looked at me, like I was the soldier sent not to save you but to take your land, strip you of your riches and power.”

Your stomach twisted, you wanted to swallow but your throat was dry. You took an unconscious step back

“I don’t know what you mean, my lord.” You shook your head.

Deny. Deny. Lie. 

Your eyes shifted around, looking for a place to run. Kyle must have noticed your panic because his eyes grew gentler, he sigh but he continued.

“You carry yourself with taught grace, you know proper etiquette, well-spoken, even the way you learn is methodical. And your hands,”

“M-my hands” 

“ They have calluses, but they’re too soft for lifelong labor. You couldn’t possibly have grown up in the street?” he said, pausing for a brief moment. “You’re a… noble, aren’t you?”

Wait, noble? Noble? Oh, he in fact didn’t know who you were. But he was circling closer. You couldn’t risk a misstep right now.

“That’s why you fear me, isn’t it?”

“Will you kill me too, my lord? Is that why you brought me here?” You tried not to sound overly bitter but failed miserably. 

“No, you don’t have to worry about me,” he reassured. “You’re no threat to me, just like I am no threat to you. We’re no longer at war. The tyrant king and his heirs are dead. The princess, if she survived that night, is surely dead by now too. No one will hurt you.” he assured.

“H-how are you sure?” you asked, testing him. Was he not just tricking you? “That she is dead, d-did you find her?”

“ She was a sheltered princess, kept away in a castle, not even bothering with the atrocities done by her kin. Never showing herself out of boredom and favoring the lavish life in the castle. She wouldn’t have survived more than a single winter,” he mocked.

How dare he speak of you this way. You bit down on the urge to argue. He didn’t know, and you couldn’t risk correcting him. From his tone, he wouldn’t appreciate knowing the princess was alive and well.

Yes, he was wrong. You weren’t pampered, you had strict teachings of your duty as a princess. You were held away, for your safety. That’s what father always said. The people outside were the monsters. He was right. Only monsters could kill with a straight face and turn around and blame the victims.

“I understand the power the royals had on you,” he spoke up again. “I don’t know everything you’ve gone through, the people you may have lost… but, I’m sorry.” His expression softened further, his brown eyes steady on yours. “If the fear is what has been keeping you from staying, don’t let it be. I’ll be out of your hair if that’s what you wish.”

This was absurd. “And what makes you so sure I’m not a threat?” you asked quietly.

Kyle tilted his head, a faint, almost weary smile on his lips. “We wouldn’t be having this conversation if I had any doubt you were.” He shrugged. “Besides, if you came to be, I’ll just have to deal with the consequences then.”

His words should have frightened you, but instead, they brought some reassurance. No one would ever think you were the princess. To them, she was dead.

“If you don't want the others to know. Rest assured, your secret is safe with me. You have my word.” He added. His usual calm voice made it too easy to believe him.

You were unsure how to answer. You stared at him, struggling to process the mix of emotions swirling inside you.

“Why would you do that, my lord?” you asked.

Kyle’s smile was faint, almost self-deprecating. “Though I did some horrible things, we came here to help the people. You are one of them, noble or not. Also…” He trailed off, his gaze flicking away once more. There it was, his motive. The truth he’d been skirting around.

“Also what?”

He met your eyes again, and this time, there was something less cautious. “ I’ve grown…fond of you.”

“What?” Your voice came out as a whisper of disbelief.

“I like having you around,” he shrugged.

“I don’t mock me, my lord,” you admitted. “I don’t talk to you”

“You do. And when you don’t. I find even your silence to be delightful,” he admitted, smiling quietly, looking at you. You blinked at him. This was a joke, right? He was mocking you again.

Kyle cleared his throat, his composure returning as he gestured toward the path ahead. “We should keep moving. The woods aren’t safe after dark.”

For a moment, you stood frozen, cheeks growing hot. He was impossible. When you didn’t budge he turned to you again.

“Hurry. I’d rather not test how fast we can outrun wolves tonight.”

“Wolves?” you repeated, then frowned. He hadn’t mentioned that earlier. You’d have to face them in the woods too? You paused, narrowing your eyes at him. “You are trying to frighten me, my lord.”

“Am I? Now, why would I enjoy watching you panic?” he smiled, turning away. “Come now, or would you rather find out for yourself?” he said over his shoulder. You hurried to his side.

—

After what seemed like an eternity, the path grew wider and the tree thinned as you saw the shape of the manor, slowly forming in your view.

You stepped unconsciously, hastened. A bit of respite, away from him. But it seemed like his pace effortlessly matched yours. My god, how much of a nuisance can a person be.

You reached the entrance of the manor.

“Oh right!” he exclaimed, causing you to stop in your tracks, closing your eyes briefly as a reprieve before turning to him.

“Yes, my lord?” What was it now?

“I might be a bit busier in the following days. You know since I took quite the break today,” he trailed off.

You didn’t ask him to. Was he expecting praise?

“Work seems to accumulate quite fast lately. What I’m trying to say is, if you wish to see me, you are welcome in my study.” He was already talking as if you had decided to stay. You wouldn’t; you had to make him regret his words about you. The selfish princess.

“Master Garrick, you’re the one who took my student away?” a very calm voice said.

Your head turned , eyes meeting the two figures coming your way; Alex and Farah. Alex's arms were clasped behind his back, and he looked a bit flustered. You frowned. He always looked so composed.

“Good evening, Alex, Lady Karim,” you greeted, curtsying.

“Alex?” Kyle echoed. His brow twitched almost imperceptibly, but his smile remained the same. Farah's smile widened.

“Yes, they call each other by their names, cute right?” she chuckled.

Correction: you call Alex by his first name; he only calls you by the nickname Farah gave you.

“They do?” Kyle asked, glancing your way.

“He asked me to,” you said simply. "You didn't know?" You figured they shared everything with each other.

“That busy man doesn’t have time for small talk anymore,” Farah said, crossing her arms. “Alex has been showing our duckling how to handle Asta.”

“You’re scared of horses,” Kyle muttered.

“We’re working on that, she’s doing well,” Alex praised. Your lips twitched, as you held back a smile.

“That is because of your patience and kindness,” you said humbly.

“Yeah? Seems the knights are very helpful to you. How spoiled you are,” Farah teased. 

You might as well thank them properly. This might be your last chance. You bowed reverently.

“Yes, thanks to your salve, I was able to recover fully. Thank you, my lady. You two have been of great help.” she grinned at you, her eyes flickering to the man by your side and back at you, with a slight tilt of her head.

“Ah yes, Master Garrick, too, is…” you paused, turning to him. He looked expectantly, but what had he done for you? Besides, his wrongs overshadowed his good deeds. “A good forager,” you muttered, turning back to the two. Alex cleared his throat.

“Oh my,” Farah chuckled, lightly covering her mouth, her eyes darting to Kyle. “Dear, it wasn’t my salve at all—” she began, only for Kyle to interrupt, his voice firmer than usual. 

“We’re happy to have been of help,” he said, flashing a tight smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Such great help,” he shrugged. Farah bit her lip, nodding.

“Right,” she said “Alex here is a very good teacher, the best I dare say. You’ll be on a horse in no time” “Farah,” Alex warned discreetly. You frowned, tilting your head.

“Alex’s the one who taught me too.” she quipped. Alex nodded.

“Unlike with duckling, I had to slow down your determination,” he said, smiling to himself. “You may have noticed, but she is an eager person.” Farah smiled at him, her eyes lingering a beat too long.

Oh. You caught that.

You were always the one being teased; now you had material. 

But then you were going to leave. When would you have time to use it?

“Well, I feel like we should all get going now, no?” Kyle suddenly spoke.

“Oh right, I will take my leave,” you nodded, pausing for a moment. Maybe you were a bit unfair. “Thank you, my lord, for your time,” you said, curtsying.

“Of course,” he replied. You nodded, rushing away.

You got to your quarters, ignoring the way the maids whispered in the hallways. 

You couldn’t be bothered right now. You had to leave. If he could have figured you out like this, he would know who you are in no time.

You shoved your things in the bag you had so neatly prepared. You would leave before they figured you out. Your movement halted.

But the princess is dead. That mean they would suspect you being anyone but her. You should be fine now. Even for those who didn't think she was wouldn't suspect you. Kyle was the only one who'd figure you out, and he said he wouldn’t tell anyone. But could you really trust him of all people?

If only you had been someone else. It would have been so easy. Farah’s friendship, Alex’s help, even Kyle’s…

Your grip tightened on the bag. Why did you have to know who he was?

You sat on your bed, letting yourself sink into the familiarity. Maybe staying a little while wouldn’t hurt. It was a simple delay. You didn’t have to be in such a rush. The handmaid would be disappointed, and Alex would have spent all this time with you for nothing. Right, you couldn’t do that.

Just a little longer.

You would stay just a little longer.

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