MHA men react too you disrespecting their juck with a xxs condom.
The midday rush at the mall was in full swing, a chaotic sea of shoppers drifting between clothing racks and food court stalls. Kaminari was waiting near the entrance of a mega-pharmacy, having been dragged along under the guise of "grabbing a few essentials."
You had disappeared down the personal care aisle a few minutes prior, leaving the trio to loiter near a massive display of clearance sunglasses.
When you finally emerged, you weren't carrying a basket. Instead, you held a single, neon-bright box proudly in your hand.
As you approached, Kaminari squinted, his eyes widening as he read the bold, unmistakable labeling on the packaging. You hadn't just picked up a box of condomsâyou were holding a size XXS. And you were holding it high enough for half the pharmacy line to see.
Denki Kaminari
Denkiâs brain stalled out like a short-circuited router. He looked from the box, to your face, and then to a group of college students nearby who had suddenly stopped talking to stare.
"Whoa, whoa, babe!" Denki squeaked, his voice cracking loud enough to echo off the tiled floor. He scrambled forward, his hands fluttering frantically in the air like he was trying to catch a escaping bird. "Hold on, put the cargo away! Put it down!"
"What? Iâm just getting these," you said, your voice entirely too clear for the public setting.
"Yeah, butâ" Denki hissed, his face turning a vibrant shade of crimson as a woman walking past smothered a laugh into her shopping bag. He leaned in close, grabbing your wrists and gently forcing your hands down to waist level. "Sweetheart, I love the enthusiasm, but those are... those are microscopic. Are you trying to kill my pride in front of the entire food court? I am not an XXS. Please tell me you forgot your glasses today."
Eijiro Kirishima
Kirishima, who had been happily scrolling on his phone, looked up just in time to catch a middle-aged man giving him a look of profound, silent pity.
Blushing from the tips of his ears down to his collar, Kirishima stepped in quickly, using his broad shoulders to shield youâand the boxâfrom the judgment of the crowd. He rubbed the back of his neck, laughing nervously as his hardened quirk practically threatened to activate out of sheer embarrassment.
"Hey, uh, manly choice of color on the box, haha!" Kirishima offered weakly, trying to deflect the attention of a nearby cashier who was actively smirking. He leaned down, whispering urgently into your ear. "But babe, seriously, we gotta swap those out. I appreciate you trying to grab 'em, but those literally won't fit. Like, physically impossible. I'm an XL, remember? If I try to wear that, itâs gonna cut off my circulation before we even get started!"
Katsuki Bakugo
Bakugo had been ignoring the entire excursion up until he felt the collective, awkward shift in the atmosphere. He glanced over, his crimson eyes locking onto the tiny box in your hand, and then onto the handful of onlookers who were actively whispering.
A vein visibly throbbed on his temple.
In two explosive strides, Bakugo closed the distance. He didn't gently lower your hands; he snatched the box right out of your grip with a fierce scowl, shoving it aggressively into Kaminariâs chest.
"What the hell are you looking at?!" Bakugo roared at a guy three feet away who had made the mistake of lingering. The guy instantly bolted.
Bakugo whipped back to you, his face flushed with a mixture of intense fury and deep mortification. He grabbed your upper arm, not hurting you, but effectively steering you back toward the aisle.
"Are you losing your damn mind?!" he growled under his breath, his voice a low, dangerous rumble. "XXS? You trying to insult me in front of these extras? You know damn well what size I am, and it sure as hell isn't something meant for a Ken doll! Move it. Weâre going back to the aisle and youâre picking up the right damn box before I blast this whole mall to pieces."
The mallâs central atrium was buzzing with weekend crowds, a chaotic mix of families, teenagers, and casual shoppers. You had stepped away to the pharmacy corner to grab "a few things," leaving the guys standing in a loose circle near the directory kiosk.
When you strolled back into the open space, you weren't hiding your purchase. Held high and clear in your palm was the bright, unmistakably labeled box of XXS condoms.
Within seconds, the shift in the immediate vicinity was palpable. A couple of shoppers paused to look, a group of teenagers nearby immediately started snickering, and the guys instantly realized all eyes were on them.
Izuku Midoriya
Izukuâs eyes darted from your face to the bright neon packaging, and his brain completely short-circuited. He caught sight of a few people nearby turning their heads, and his entire face erupted into a furious, brilliant shade of crimson that rivaled his old costume accents.
"U-Uh! Wait, a-ahâ!" Izuku stammered, his hands flying up in a flurry of chaotic, vibrating motions as if he could physically block the view of everyone in a ten-foot radius. He took a frantic step closer, trying to use his body to shield you from the crowd, his voice dropping to a panicked, high-pitched whisper.
"Baby ! Please, um, could weâcould you put that in a bag? Or maybe just lower it a little?" He glanced around, mortified by the collective, amused stares of the bystanders. He swallowed hard, his face practically steaming. "I-I think thereâs been a huge mix-up with the sizing! Those are... well, they won't... um, I'm actually an XL! Ifâif we try to use those, theyâll just tear immediately, and itâitâs really not safe or comfortable! Letâs go back and change it, okay? Right now!"
Tenya Iida
Tenya rigidified instantly, his posture going so stiff he looked like a marble statue. His sharp eyes locked onto the text on the box, and his arm chopped through the air with violent, robotic precision.
"This is highly inappropriate for a public venue!" Tenya barked, though he quickly caught himself and dropped his voice to an urgent, intense rumble to avoid drawing even more of a crowd. He stepped forward, his massive frame completely eclipsing you from the onlookers who were starting to whisper.
"While I appreciate your proactive approach to our private matters, your mathematical assessment of the required dimensions is profoundly inaccurate!" He adjusted his glasses with a sharp, trembling finger, his ears burning bright red. "An XXS is a logistical impossibility! Based on standard anatomical measurements, I require an XL to ensure proper efficacy and safety! Displaying a severe understatement of my proportions in the middle of a commercial establishment is entirely contrary to public decorum! Come, we must rectify this inventory error at once!"
Hanta Sero
Sero was mid-laugh at something Kaminari said when he spotted the box. His grin frozen, turning into a comical, wide-mouthed expression of pure disbelief as he noticed a guy nearby giving him a deeply sympathetic, patronizing nod.
"Whoa, hold on, back up the tape," Sero said, letting out a nervous, breathless chuckle. He walked over quickly, shooting a charming but slightly strained smile at the lingering onlookers before leaning down to your eye level. He casually looped an arm around your shoulders, using his forearm to subtly push your hand down.
"Hey, beautiful, love the enthusiasm, but you're absolutely killing my reputation out here," he whispered, a flush creeping up his neck despite his laid-back demeanor. He pointed a thumb back toward the pharmacy aisle. "Those little things look like theyâre meant for a toy. You know damn well I need the XL. Letâs go swap those out before someone I know walks past and thinks Iâm working with a toothpick, alright?"
Keigo Takami (Hawks)
Keigo was leaning against a railing, casually sipping an iced coffee, when he saw you approach. His golden eyes tracked the box, took in the tiny lettering, and then swept over the surrounding crowd, noting the amused smirks from the civilian men nearby.
Instead of panicking, a lazy, incredibly sharp smirk spread across his face. He didn't hide; instead, he draped a massive, feathered crimson wing completely around your back, pulling you flush against his side and effectively cutting off the view of the rest of the mall.
"Hey there, kiddo," Keigo murmured, his voice smooth but carrying a dangerous, playful edge as his wing rustled defensively. He reached down, his gloved fingers easily snatching the box from your hand and tossing it carelessly into a nearby trash bin. He leaned in close, his breath warm against your ear. "Cute joke. Really funny. But you and I both know those wouldn't even fit over the tip. Iâm an XL, sweetheart, and I like a tight fit, but not a surgical tourniquet. Letâs go buy the right size before I have to start flashing my license to prove a point."
Touya Todoroki (Dabi)
Touya was standing a bit apart from the rest, his hands shoved deep into his coat pockets, looking thoroughly boredâuntil he saw what you were holding. He blinked, his gaze dropping to the tiny box, and then he looked up to see a couple of teenagers actively pointing and laughing.
The temperature in the immediate area seemed to drop an icy, threatening degree.
Touya didn't look embarrassed; he looked murderous. He stepped forward, his heavy boots clicking sharply against the tile. He didn't care about public decorum. He grabbed your wrist, his grip firm but careful of his own scarred skin, and yanked your hand down. His bright blue eyes flashed with a sinister, intense light as he glared directly at the teenagers, who immediately paled and looked away.
"You think you're hilarious, don't you?" Touya growled, his voice a low, gravelly rasp that vibrated right through you. He snatched the box, crushing the cheap cardboard effortlessly in his fist. "XXS? Are you out of your mind? You know exactly what I look like under these clothes, and it sure as hell doesn't fit in a thimble. Youâre lucky I don't incinerate this entire building right now. Get back in there and get the XLs before I make a scene you won't like."
