#kirinon

A dead eye peered through the scope of the hecate sniper rifle.

BANG! Clink… A shot fired, and the casing rolled aimlessly away.

On the top of the clocktower, a depressed noir laid down, near motionless.

BANG! Clink…

The raven had been posted there for longer than they’d care to remember. All they wanted was release.

BANG! Clink…

“Full party down…” the black-cloaked figure sighed. “Guess this’s just been a buncha aim practice…”

Not a single fight. Not a single shot fired in their direction. Though it’s not like they cared. If someone fired, they wouldn’t move. They had no desire to fight. They wanted to give up.

“Footsteps…”

They had heard someone ascending the clock tower and were suddenly eye to eye with a familiar sight down their scope.

“Heh, guess I gave a lasting impression on ya Kirito. Never would’ve suspected you’d pick up the sniper mantle.”

Kirito stared up at the teal haired girl before her, his eyes tired and weary. A dull grey emptiness was set into them, where a purple shimmering light had been before. Sinon’s more playful appearance dropped as she saw the zombie before her. He slowly shifted his positioning away from Sinon before he fired the last shot in his clip ending another enemy player miles away.

“... I don’t wanna think about swords at all right now. Staying as far away as possible.” 

He remained focused on the scope of his rifle. He didn’t want to meet her eyes again. His voice was empty, quiet and strained like it was the first sentence he’d spoken that week.

“You okay Kirito? You’re not lookin’ so hot…” She trailed off. She knew he hated discussing himself but this was the worst he’d ever looked.

“Yeah… just some stress relief is all…” He looked aside for a moment, but still refused to meet Sinon’s empathetic stare. “I see why you love the sniper. Gotta always be on alert… Can’t talk. Can’t think… Can’t cry.” His eyes started watering at the edges.

“This is bad,” Sinon thought to herself. “He’s never like this…”

She lifted Kirito out of his perch, and propped him up next to her.

“Hey, you can talk to me.”

His eyes couldn’t meet hers. He couldn’t face her. His body ached. His heart felt like a worn and tired rope, just barely holding on by the thinnest of it’s threads.

“Hey Kirito. I’m worried about you. Nobody hears from you for a week after you logged out of ALO and now you’re here looking like you’re dead.”

Kirito finally looked to her and met her eyes. Sinon’s heart shattered as the boy who had so desperately tried helping her for so long looked as if he was one inch from the edge.

“... I…” he sighed out. “It’s been too long since I was playing solo… And now… I gotta remember how to do it…”

“Huh? You’re not making any sense?” Sinon tried holding Kirito’s hand, and she saw him fighting back tears as he pulled it away.

“Asuna… was the person who pulled me out of being solo… I’d always been alone up to then. Both in game, and out there… and she’s not here anymore.”

“Asuna? W-what’s going on? Is she alright?”

Kirito could no longer hold back any of the tears she’d been keeping these past days.

“Asuna got accepted at a college in the U.S… and she’s leaving. And… and… and…” his voice faltered and got weaker as he went on. “She wanted to break up. So that distance wouldn’t hurt.”

Kirito’s avatar’s mascara ran down her cheeks, staining them black, and beneath Sinon could see even on his avatar the dark circles that indicated Kirito hadn’t been sleeping.

Sinon clutched above her heart. She couldn’t believe that Asuna could do something so heartless to the poor boy in front of her.

“Hey, hey. I’m here now.” She pulled him into an embrace, stroking his hair as he sobbed into her chest. “It’s all gonna be okay. I promise.” She tried her best to reassure him, but how could she promise that? His wife had left him here like this…

“T-thank you Shino…” Her heart broke hearing him pleading out to her, not her avatar, but her.

“Hey, have you been sleeping?”

“I… I haven’t been able to. So I’d just log on here, away from everyone else…”

“Kazuto…”

“I still log out to shower and call Yui before bed… but it’s mainly just been… this.”

“Even after everything he’s still doing his best to be there for Yui…”

“Ki-Kirito have you eaten at all? And is Sugu not there?”

Kirito tried getting up, but Sinon pulled him right back into the embrace. 

“Sugu’s been on a class trip. She won’t be back til next week…”

Sinon saw the broken mess of a boy in front of her and wanted to cry herself. This was her rock. The one who held up their whole group, helping each and every one of them. He had held her as she cried, punching and kicking and saying things she’d always regret and yet he was steadfast, unflinching, just there for her when she needed it most. And he was crumbling…

“Hey Kirito… Listen… You need to rest, and you need to eat… Log off and shower… A-and I’m gonna be over as soon as I can. I’ll pick us up some food on the way…”

She’d dreamed of spending the night at Kirito’s before, but never like this. She wishes it could have been under better circumstances.

Kirito intended to protest, but couldn’t. He desperately wanted somebody to help, even if he wished he could be alone. Both of them embraced one final time before they logged out.

About 30 minutes later, Suguha gets a notification on her phone, from the motion camera at the door. “Why is Shino coming over at… 11pm?” She laid back down and passed out. “Tomorrow’s Problem.”

…

A knocking came at the door.

Kirito slicked back his still-damp-from-showering hair and sheepishly answered the door.

As the door slowly crept open, two broken souls met eyes. The girl had been tightly holding onto her purse and the food she’d picked up for the boy, but they were abruptly dropped to the side in the doorway as she launched herself at the boy. His eyes were vacant, like his body was still here but the soul had long since left. She hadn’t seen him like this since that time in Underworld, where he was… gone. She couldn’t help it, she held onto him and cried into him.

“Kazuto… I was so fucking scared…” She could barely speak through her sobs. “The thought of you hurting… I’m so sorry…”

Kazuto lightly brushed his hand against the back of her head, stroking her hair.

“T-thank you Shino… I- I’m sorry you have to see me like this…”

“You have nothing to be sorry for- I should’ve reached out sooner.” She looked up from her place nuzzling his neck to his face. Beneath one of his tired eyes sat a scar cutting long across his cheek. She traced the faded mark, sighing out. “I’m sorry.”

They pulled away from eachother and Kazuto slumped down on the couch of the living room as Shino collected her things and placed her bags on the kitchen table.

“Shino- I… I don’t know why you put up with me.” The boy’s hands shook, and tears bubbled in the corners of his eyes.

Shino sat beside Kazuto and gently cupped his face in her hand. “I care about you Kazuto. I always have.” 

“All I’ve ever done is hurt people. I don’t deserve to be cared about.” His breath was brisk and harsh. He was fighting not her words, but the words he was holding back.

“Every day, that’s all I do. I left behind my family when I found out I was adopted- and I left them behind for two years in SAO- And then on my first day there, I abandoned Argo and Klein.”

His knuckles were white as his fists shook in rage at himself.

“Then I abandoned Asuna. I took Liz on a suicide mission and nearly killed her, and broke her heart. If I was quicker, I could’ve saved Pina for Silica. I let Yui die. And I was too weak… I let Kayaba kill Asuna. She died in my arms…”

Shino gripped onto Kazuto’s shoulders, but he wasn’t finished.

“And then I came home, and I was a burden to everyone. And all I could think about was her. Not my family or other friends. Just her. And Sugu-”

The tears flowed out.

“After everything- Sugu helped me. And I broke her heart. And I just stood there like a jackass and couldn’t say anything…”

“Broke her heart?...”

“I pushed myself away from her time after time and she still cared about me- and she fell in love with me- she cried herself to sleep at night over me in the hospital and I never gave her the time of day. I don’t deserve to be called her brother.” He screamed out the last sentence, his voice breaking.

“And then- and then I was in Underworld. And. And. If I were faster, Ronye and Tiese…”

He grit his teeth.

“And I failed you time and time again Shino. I used your trust. I hurt you. I embarrassed you. If it weren’t for me, DeathGun wouldn’t have even targeted you. And I let you get-” 

“Kazuto you saved my life. If it weren’t for you-”

“If it weren’t for me, ten more people would be alive right now.” His voice bit at her.

“The members of Laughing Coffin?...”

“No… The Moonlit Black Cats. Ducker, Sasamaru, Tetsuo, Keita… Sachi… I failed them all. I let them die. And Keita killed himself in front of me.”

He clutched his chest.

“Sachi… Sachi was so fucking afraid of dying in Sword Art Online. I promised her- I promised her she’d live. I’d protect her. That she and I’d make it out together…”

He wailed into his hands. Shino stroked his back.

“And then there was Eugeo… my best friend. I fought alongside him for two years. I… I loved him… and he died in my arms. I couldn’t save him. He was better than me. He was an actual hero, he wasn’t just some roleplaying dickhead who could never help anyone- I let him down… It’s my fault he died.”

Shino pulled Kazuto into a hug.

“Kazuto… none of them would blame you. They were your friends. They knew you’d do anything to help them, anything at all. That’s why you fought so hard for them, and fight so hard now. Since they’re still here with you…”

She pet his head as he sobbed into her shoulder.

“I- I was so scared when I heard about what happened to you. That the last Death Gun got you… I was so worried, and I hurt myself because I thought it was all my fault… You got hurt because you got caught between me and Shinkawa.”

She pulled back, and held his face so his eyes met hers.

“You saved everyone in Sword Art Online Kazuto. It’s because of you, everyone in the game could walk free. And you saved everyone in Underworld too. And now people like Alice and Yui can be here in the real world too. You’ve helped so many people.”

Kazuto looked in her eyes for a moment, considering her words, before closing his eyes. He didn’t want to see her as he spoke again.

“They said that of the ten thousand people who logged into Sword Art Online, six thousand survived, and the other four thousand… I always thought I should be a part of them.” Shino’s grip on the back of Kazuto’s shirt intensified. She was digging into him now.

“K-Kazuto?”

“Every day I’ve thought it would have been better if my brain was fried there. If I was one of the ones who jumped on day one… maybe it would have been better that way…”

Shino pulled him into her like a vice, holding on for dear life.

“Kazuto- never. Never say something like that. You’re… You’re the one who told me that nomatter who you are, your life has touched someone else. That there’s someone out there who loves you, and cares about you. You saved me then. And I wanna be here for you now. Kazuto… My life belongs to you. I’ll give it up for you. I wanna stay with you until the end. I’ll do everything I can.”

The tears stopped. Kazuto looked at me, and smiled softly. “And I promise to do everything I can do to protect you too, forever.”

He held onto her hand, and the two softly blushed.

“Kazuto… Could I stay with you for the night?”

The boy could only nod.

…

The two held onto eachother until they had recollected themselves. But neither wanted to let go as they got up to eat. The quiet slowly faded away as they chatted to eachother, the warmth in the home growing with each word. They eventually retreated to the couch, spending the evening watching movies together, curled under a blanket. They hadn’t noticed how somewhere along the way, they’d shifted into eachother, their bodies pressed together cuddling, as if it was natural for them. Two broken pieces fitting together, forming one single heart.

They slept on the couch that night, settling in at almost dawn, and neither would ever want to admit it, but it was the most peaceful sleep they’d experienced in a long long time.

…

The raven of the star-crossed soldiers were awoken by Kazuto’s phone ringing in the morning.

“Big brother- Why exactly is Shino staying the night at our place?” Her tone was accusatory, which Kazuto figured was entirely fair, given the circumstances.

“I’ve been having a really rough couple of days. Ever since Asuna left, I hadn’t been taking care of myself… Shino noticed and came over to help.”

“Asuna… left?”

Kazuto huffed out a sigh. “Guess she decided it’s on me to tell everyone. Asuna broke up with me. About the same time you left on your trip.”

“Jeez… at the same time I’m not there to comfort you- how cruel. I’m sorry big bro. I’ll be home soon to help you. I’m glad Shino was there to help.”

“I am too.” Kazuto combed the hair of the still sleeping girl beside him with his fingers. She murmured slightly in her sleep. “Kirito…”

…

Shino ended up staying at the Kirigaya residence for the next week, until Suguha got home. They’d spend the day together, cooking and cleaning for eachother, and playing GunGale together. Each night Kazuto insisted that he’d take the couch and Shino could sleep in his bed, yet nomatter where they decided upon sleeping, they’d still end up in eachother’s arms by the end of the night. Shino insisted that it was because she heard Kazuto stirring and worried he was having a nightmare, but Kazuto couldn’t complain either way. The gentle fondness she’d showed him made his heart flutter, and he was ashamed to admit, but every time he started worrying about Asuna, there would be a Shino in his imagination there to save him. His knight in shining armor. As they spent the day in GGO again, they ended up walking by a shop as a glimmer caught Kirito’s eye. He nabbed it before Sinon even realized what he’d done. 

…

As they cleared another mission together, they sat next to eachother in the same cave they’d shared their first night in. Kirito slightly anxiously shifted in his seat as Sinon went over their loot from the mission.

“Oh actually Sinon- there’s something that I wanted to share with you.”

“Oh did you get different drops than me? Anything good?” The boy twirled his hair nervously.

“H-hopefully…”

He tossed a small sphere at her.

“A present grenade?”

She looked up at him, slightly confused.

“J-just hit the button.”

He hid his blushing face in his hands as Sinon pressed the blinking red trigger. The sphere split open in two halves, revealing a pair of two rings, a deep galaxy purple and a bright ocean blue. 

Kirito swallowed his fears “I… I saw them and thought of us… consider it a thanks for everything you’ve done for me Sinon.”

Sinon blushed and hugged the boy beside her.

“You dummy! I love it!” She slipped on the purple ring, and took Kirito’s hand and slipped on the blue on.

“Eh? Sinon?” Kirito was slightly confused by her choice of color.

“It’s just like your sword and your eyes. It’s a nice thing to always remember ya, even when we’re not by eachother’s sides.” She smiled warmly and hugged tighter.

“Guess so. But I don’t wanna leave your side anytime soon.”

“Me neither.”

Day 3 | Coming Out

My third entry for #SAOPrideWeek2022 ♥

Kirito and Sinon Couple Night Yukata by Vergilian91

And there are my BABIES ♥♥

Two trans girlfriends just messing around in GGO, showing their colors ♥ (yes, the hc here is genderfluid-Kirito and transgirl Sinon) There's also the bi flag pour Sinon of course, and the polyamory one too