#kindclaws

You, our readers, voted for what today's sneak peek would be. You voted for an excerpt of an upcoming chapter. So for your reading pleasure we have an excerpt from Tuesday's chapter written by @kindclaws!

“I think I underestimated her,” she says quietly, “like so many did. She was so strong when she needed to be, and so soft when she wanted to be. Always a smile, always rolling up her sleeves and getting to work. I wish we’d had more time together, Harper. I wish I’d made it to the rocket and lived years more with you, getting to know all the little things I missed when we were always surviving one disaster after another. I wish-“ she breaks off and glares at Monty. “Why am I here? Why me, and not the people you lived with for years, that you guys literally called family?”

Monty sways on his feet.

Oh my god, there's literally never been a casting more perfect than Frankie, what are they thinking??

Thank you so much, Sara! <3

3. Favorite line/scene you wrote this year?

I’m proud of a lot of scenes and lines I wrote this year, but my personal favorite is this scene from Atlas Hands:

“Later, when ice no longer forms on the stairs of the ship and Clarke can step outside to drink her coffee before anyone else, she realizes that she had to be cold and hungry and weary to really come back home to herself. To feel strong. 

To feel like Clarke again.

She looks at herself in the mirror and for the first time in the longest time, she recognizes the person she sees.”

It was inspired by this quote from Thoreau. The notion really resonates with me. I’ve found the cold and hard physical work to be incredibly cathartic and healing. In many ways, the first chapter of Atlas Hands is easily one of the most personal things I have ever written.

15. Something you learned this year?

I learned that writing should be fun. Especially fic writing. 

I think I used to feel pressure, and felt influenced by certain fandom takes on things and characters, that a few years back, it felt like I wasn’t listening to my inner voice. But I came back wanting to write out of pure joy. I really needed a hobby. And if I’m writing fic as a hobby, then by God, it should be f u n.

I also love this quote by @eternalgirlscout about writing in general:

the secret, i’ve discovered, to actually writing, like actually sitting down and doing the damn thing, actually getting a word count up there, is to have an idea that makes you think “that’s ridiculous and self-indulgent and nobody else but me would want to read it” and then leaning as fully into self-indulgence as possible

I also really have a process where I’m just letting the ideas guide me, more than I plot them out ahead, so I’ve learned to lean into that and see where it takes me. It’s like being an adventurer (except no snakes and curses)!

19. Any new fics to start next year?

I already answered this about my WIPs, but I’d really love to start working on some of the following ideas:

Clurphy AU where half of their friendship group rejects Clarke after something happens (???), and she enemies to friends to lovers her way to Murphy. I really feel like Murphy would be a good influence on her; everyone keeps talking about forgiveness, I just want him to say: Listen, Griffin, you did your best. It’s time to let it go.

Peaky Blinders AU prompted by @bellarkesgodson MONTHS ago (Dora, I am so sorry) where Clarke and Bellamy are the leaders of rival gangs

Post S2 canon divergent fic where the Delinquents break away and form their own camp (I just need a lil joy)

As for free rein, I’d like to mention a few of the fics I loved this year:

24. Favorite fic(s) you read this year?

Moderation by @bettsfic - for the incredible way of depicting hope found at the rock bottom. 

The Sleep Series (and I Got That Feeling, That Bad Feeling in particular) by @star-sky-earth - for the fascinating character studies, and a honey-thick style of writing. 

Oh Darling, Here’s Hoping by @grumpy-bell - for the fairytales that remind me of why we need stories in the first place.

Imperfectly Perfect by @arysafics - for that special feeling of finding a fic that has an atmosphere where you just want to lay on back, and stay there forever.

Exiles by @kinetic-elaboration - for how cathartic and darkly delicious it was. 

The Earth Is Trembling on Some New Beginning  by @kindclaws - Sara, you know exactly what you did. You took so many fantastic prompts (which are usually hard to even imagine going together) and you created a tale that I just can’t get out of my head. 

Y’all, read these ASAP!

So, @kindclaws and @marauders-groupie tagged me in this and I can’t say no, really. What I can say is that work has melted my brain into a puddle circa 2 weeks ago, so don’t count on me saying anything that makes sense. Also, there might be some tmi. Just saying.

1. do you make your bed? Only if I’m in the middle of a really bad anxiety crisis, when messy rooms can fuck up my mind way too hard, or when I’m hosting big events (think: Christmas, World Cup, any&all family holidays or else I’ll listen to my dad go on and on about it for the rest of eternity)

2. what’s your favorite number? Eight. 8 is infinity and power and also a symbol of wealth and prosperity and I’ve always loved that.

3. what’s your job? Crying my eyes out in my cubicle then manically smiling to anyone who looks at me so they’re too scared to ask me what the fuck is going on. Can sometimes involve me punching my laptop.

4. can you parallel park? No. Not at all. Would I parallel park in whichever way I can manage should the opportunity arise, even though I never got a license, don’t own a vehicle, and would certainly wreck the entire car while doing it? Absolutely yes.

5. a job you had which would surprise people? I painted on children’s faces at kids events, even though I don’t like children at all. It really wasn’t that bad, the kids were always excited and cute, and also screaming at mothers who refused to let their young sons choose things like hearts and butterflies because they weren’t manly enough for their 5 yo was a great outlet for my pent-up anger. 

6. do you think aliens are real? To quote my beautiful friend Lana: Why the fuck not? 

7. can you drive a manual car? Well, my dad taught me to, so theoretically yes. But, as stated above, I don’t have a license. And also the only times I drove, I was pretty furious, the car was never mine and I always, always destroyed some part of it. I once ripped a Land Rover’s rearview mirror with a tiny, tiny J3. Don’t ask me how, I don’t know.

8. what’s your guilty pleasure? Only the pleasures I don’t partake in, and let me tell ya, it’s not often.

9. tattoos? A grand-total of 8. I’ve got a sun on my ribs, the world on my shoulder, Aries’ constellation on my wrist, tattoos with both my parents on my legs, a quote from my favorite childhood book on my back, a moon behind my ear, a crown on my chest.... There’s a lot of them.

10. favorite color? I truly, honestly, do not understand how people can choose that. I love all colors. Red is my power color and gold makes me feel like a fucking goddess. Blue is the sweetest of colors and lavender calms me right down. So yeah, I don’t understand how people can choose that so easily. (But, y’know, pink).

11. things people do that drive you crazy? I’m kind of an asshole when I’m in a grumpy mood? But the surest thing to drive me mad is trying to force me to do anything.

12. any phobias? Cockroaches.

13. favorite childhood sport? Dance! Love it wholeheartedly, practiced for 8 years until I fucked up my ankle and became this lazy, lazy couch potato.

14. do you talk to yourself? All. the. time. I might be doing it right now.

15. what movies do you adore? Too many. All my teenage year movies that I love unironically (see: Legally Blonde, Clueless, Mean Girls). Movies with amazing art direction (see: Grand Hotel Budapest, 2013 Ana Karenina,  Love, Vincent, etc). Movies that make me feel human (see: too many to count).

16. do you like doing puzzles? I too, would choose crosswords over puzzles any given time.

17. favorite kind of music? No favorite kind of music. Taylor Swift, Bach, Fleetwood Mac and Queen are my favorites, ever. I’ve been loving to listen to Lizzo, Billie Eilish and The Lumineers lately. I was in a huge Ariana Grande mood last year. I have no idea, really. I do love pop, rock and classical pretty consistently, though.

I tag @blackcoffeeicedtea​ , if she’s even still on tumblr.

& I have no other friends \o/ so, if you wanna do this tag game - or become my friend even though I sometimes go missing for months on end - you’ll be very welcome and I’d love to read it.

Ugh my internet cut out, not done reading this yet but EXCUSE ME NAI I read 'assuming winter is 14 weeks' and had a goddamn Canadian conniption. 14 weeks??? THEY LAST FOURTEEN MONTHS OVER HERE

oh boy have you caught me in the right mood to yell about bellarkeyeah so this idea basically came from the concept of being always and inextricably bound to another person in the way that clarke and bellamy were. which is to say that good enemies to co-leaders to best friends to lovers trope that they have going on. where their friendship didn’t stem from liking the other person immediately but instead it came from hating the other person but understanding everything that they did. and so that bond is represented as locking into place (though always having been there) when clarke falls into that pit and bellamy saves her when he could’ve dropped her. it would’ve made sense for him to drop her but he couldn’t and she knew that and he knew that. so why didn’t he?

but in the end they both start to be each others foils, with clarke bringing bellamy out of his self hatred, of him wanting to feel worth something, meanwhile bellamy watches as clarke falls, in a sense, from being spoiled ark royalty to someone who understands the struggle that everyone else went through and willing to sacrifice herself so other people don’t have to. 

they are the halves of each other that they can’t explain to anyone else. but they know. and they look at each other and see parts reflected that they don’t want to admit but that they both love. its very much the “when is a monster not a monster? oh when you love it”