Y’all know from my reverse! Wirt Headcanons that I was gonna do one for Wirt in Fight! Falls
He’s Wirt, but more emo and dark
His favorite poet/writer is Edgar Ellen Poe no doubt
His poems are constantly about death, nightmares, forests, ‘beasts’, and all that good stuff
Even Kill is kinda creeped out from them
He’s much more quiet and serious than regular and reverse Wirt
I’m talking a few yes’s and no’s and maybe a sentence or two each day like Ferb (Phineas & Ferb) shit
He wears much more darker colors and a lot more black
He has the classic e-boy aesthetic: dark t-shirts with a long sleeve under it, tight black ripped pants, occasionally dark camo pants instead, black plain turtleneck long sleeves, black long sleeves with a white collar
He has dark eyeliner and eyeshadow, a chain or two on his pants, maybe the occasional ring that has a skull or looks like a vine with leaves, a cross necklace or cross earrings, one bar earring on one ear.
He is a True Neutral. No one is more neutral than him. He cares about Kill, Tyrone, Gregory, Fight! Mabel and all of the rest too much. If you hurt them, he kills you. But otherwise you’re okay. He’s not going to get in a fight they’re (Kill, Gregory, Tyrone etc.) in unless they’re seriously injured.
He’s the peacemaker of the group and prevents them from all getting killed/caught by the police from their crazy schemes.
But not like peacemaker and prevents them from getting killed in a motherly, ‘don’t do that again way’
But more like *loads gun* “God damnit you little shits you know, I was having a good day why do I keep saving you little fuckers”….
A few hours later, currently shoveling dirt over the body: Seriously I should just let the cops get you by now, I was having a real good fucking day until you bitches had the audacity to ask me to help you AGAIN especially after since you still own me a favor after I saved your asses from the FBI last time….”
But everyone knows including him that he would kill himself before giving up them.
He regularly has a weapon on him. Some kind of weapon. A small gun, pocketknife, taser. And no, not several weapons and it’s that meme where it takes him forever to unload said weapons from his body (that’s Fight! Mabel and Tyrone, definitely) but the meme where he’ll a pull a weapon from somewhere that’s physically impossible to have one.
He regularly has to knock one of the twins (or both of them, in some cases) out to prevent them from following Kill into some crazy-ass suicidal plan.
If you need a body hidden or someone poisoned, he’s your guy. No one knows how Wirt knows so many poisons and ways to hide a body.
He’s very sarcastic and officially Tired With Everybody’s Shit™️
He has the miraculous ability to pass out on command, watch *his head proceeds to slam down on a table as he goes unconscious*
He needs approximately a gallon of coffee each morning to stay awake (no one knows how he’s still alive)
When was the last time he’s ate or drank water? No one also knows! (Seriously Fucking Kill is considering bringing this man to the doctor)
Does he sleep? No one knows!
In a situation where him and the Gang is in prison or a dungeon or something he’ll suddenly pull a knife out of no where and he’s like, “Well no time like the present for a suicide pact, am I right guys?”
He isn’t suicidal. He would be, but 1) he doesn’t want everyone on Earth to suffer with Kill and the twins unleashing their chaos with no restraint such as him and 2) his family really didn’t like him that much and kinda thought he was gonna end himself so now he has to live just to spite them.
And he has to take care of Gregory of course.
And he likes Tyrone and Kill, so there’s that too.
But seriously how is this man still alive?!?!!!?????
Also in addition: He’s the dom of whatever relationship: pinescone, cipherpinescone, ciphercone
And I know that seems unrealistic because Kill is the most violent and aggressive of the three Ciphers but also: he’s a sadomasochist, and Wirt is constantly tired of his shit.
He’s always wearing steel-toe boots, high tops or doc martens.
Anyways, like the last one, reblog/reply with any headcanons of your own!
And if y’all see any of these as different or wrong I really want to know why because I like knowing people’s headcanons and the reasons why they do/don’t agree with others.