#kiergan

Hauroko isn't the first Trooper he has lost in his time as a squad leader. Kiergan had felt the pain of every fallen Trooper in his squad and can remember every single one of their faces, young Michael maybe clearest of all, but... Hauroko was his friend. She and Leave-it were the best friends he ever had. No, Kiergan corrects himself, not friends, they were more family to him than the one he grew up with. They made his life make sense. Leave-it made him laugh while Hauroko kept Kiergan strong, and he swore to himself that he would keep them safe.

The singed pauldron he'd recovered on that barren landscape between rivers of lava will forever be an agonizing reminder of his failure; it is hard evidence that Kiergan will never hear Hauroko's voice or see her bright glorious smile ever again. She's gone. She's not even a star on the night sky, merely an invisible scar on his heart from a wound that will never truly heal. Hauroko is gone.

Kiergan dreads the day when Leave-it can't outrun his illness anymore and his laughter will be silenced as Hauroko's smile was erased. It will happen. It is happening, his medicine is having less and less of an effect and will eventually be useless and then he'll be gone too. The thought of both of them gone forever is too horrible to stand.

Maybe Leave-it and Hauroko will wait for Kiergan to join them in some kind of afterlife? And as Jana has everything under control here that means ST -2199 don't need Kiergan, not really, so when the day comes he'll be okay with dying.

Kiergan sighs again. Yeah, he'll be okay with it, but he would give his soul to have Hauroko here at this very moment. She would have known what to say to snap him out of his gloom. Hauroko always knew how to guide Kiergan out of the darkness when he got lost inside his own head.

Turning to go inside the castle, Kiergan nearly walks right into Yurei and comes dangerously close to having a heart attack. “For the love of...” Kiergan snaps, trying recover some dignity after the flailing and the startled yelp that just left his lips. “I swear, I'm putting a bell on you.”

Yurei grins. His eyes are as black as the sky above them and the tiny pinprick of light at the center of them look like dying stars instead of guardian angels. “I told you, you can put anything you'd like on me.”

Kiergan lets out an annoyed breath.“I'm not in the mood for your innuendos tonight, Yurei.”

Yurei sidesteps and blocks his path when Kiergan tries to go around him. His eyes are so very dark and the smile fades a bit as he states in a rather factual way; “You're sad.” He tilts his head a little. “Is it because the blond left?”

“No.” Kiergan glares. Is he still shocked that Leave-it and Zev'sonya had gotten married? Yes. Does the thought make him nervous and he wishes that Leave-it had married someone less... complicated? Unfortunately also yes. But his own feelings on Zev'sonya doesn't matter, what matters to Kiergan is whether his friend is happy and she, for whatever reason, makes Leave-it smile even brighter than before. Kiergan is pleased that Leave-it gets to travel with his new family and enjoy life rather than hide away with him while his limited days ticks away, not sad. “I'm sad because my friend died and I miss her.” He tries to move by Yurei again, but the man reaches out and places a hand on his arm and stops him

“Tell me about her.” Yurei says.

That, Kiergan did not expect. He frowns at him. “Why? You don't care that she's gone.”

“I don't.” Yurei admits readily enough. “But she mattered to you, and I care about you.”

Exhaling no small amount of frustration, Kiergan shifts his hand to shake off Yurei's grip and takes a step away to create some space between them. “Stop. Just stop it. Stop saying that.”

“But it's true.” Yurei insists, now with that eerie smile of his again.

“Why?” Kiergan snaps, out of patience. “Why me? You don't know me. You barely cast one glance my way when we first met before deciding to declare your eternal devotion and start grabbing my ass at any moment. Why me, dammit?”

Yurei's smile widens a tiny fraction and there is a bit of amusement in his bottomless eyes. “I didn't need more than a glance to conclude that you are the most beautiful creature I've ever seen.”

Kiergan scoffs. “If you're not going to tell me the truth, get out of my way.”

“I am telling you the truth.” Yurei claims with soft stubbornness. “I would never lie to you.”

And the really unsettling bit is that Kiergan believes him. Due to whatever crazy reasoning Yurei lives by, he wouldn't lie to him. “Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn't choose to devote yourself to someone simply based on their looks.”

Yurei tilts his head a little, still amused and not discouraged in any way. “Men devote their lives and die for lesser causes every day.”

That... Kiergan can't exactly argue against that. Hadn't he joined the Imperial army for an equally foolish reason? He closes his eyes and sighs. His heart aches and he misses his friends. “Just... please. I just can't deal with your weirdness right now. Please.”

Kiergan expects some more innuendos, maybe a lewd suggestion or two, but what he doesn't expect is the feeling of Yurei's hand gently cradling his neck and easing him forward to rest his head on Yurei's shoulder. Kiergan is too surprised by the gesture to object and merely stands there while the cool fingers on his neck warm up from the contact to his skin.

Yurei stands unmoving like a droid, probably copying a move he's seen others do rather than acting on what feels right, but awkward as it is; he is trying, even if it is in a language he doesn't speak.

Kiergan can't fight back a ghost of smile on his lips as the effort does make him feel a little better. As weird as Yurei might be, as unsettling as he definitely is, there is some good in him too. At least, Kiergan likes to think so?