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No one would ever imagine that laughter has the power to heal an individual, both physically and mentally. When children laugh, it can be uplifting for anyone listening to it, and it benefits the child in untold ways. And, the sound of children laughing can be very compelling too!!

The sound of children laughing genuinely is one of life’s most beautiful sounds. Whether it’s straight from the belly, a loud chuckle or a full-throated laugh, anyone listening to it can smile at the sound. It also makes one feel liberated and alive and fills one up with joy. Truly said, laughter is indeed the best medicine. Here are some widespread ways in which children can reap the benefits of their own laughter.

A sense of humor can brighten family life. You can blow raspberries on a baby's belly, put on a silly hat and chase a 3-year-old, or pretend to fall into a pile of leaves to amuse a first-grader. As kids grow into preteens and teens, you can share puns and jokes as their sense of what's funny grows more sophisticated.

Laughing together is a way to connect, and a good sense of humor also can make kids smarter, healthier, and better able to cope with challenges.

We tend to think of humor as part of our genetic makeup, like blue eyes or big feet. But a sense of humor actually is a learned quality that can be developed in kids, not something they're born with.

What's So Funny Anyway?

Humor is what makes something funny; a sense of humor is the ability to recognize it. Someone with a well-developed sense of humor has the ability to recognize what's funny in others and can amuse them as well.

A good sense of humor is a tool that kids can rely on throughout life to help them:

see things from many perspectives other than the most obvious

be spontaneous

grasp unconventional ideas or ways of thinking

see beyond the surface of things

enjoy and participate in the playful aspects of life

not take themselves too seriously

Kids with a well-developed sense of humor are happier and more optimistic, have higher self-esteem, and can handle differences (their own and others') well. Kids who can appreciate and share humor are better liked by their peers and more able to handle the adversities of childhood — from moving to a new town, to teasing, to torment by playground bullies.

And a good sense of humor doesn't just help kids emotionally or socially. Research has shown that people who laugh more are healthier — they're less likely to be depressed and may even have an increased resistance to illness or physical problems. They experience less stress; have lower heart rates, pulses, and blood pressure; and have better digestion. Laughter may even help humans better endure pain, and studies have shown that it improves our immune function.

But most of all, a sense of humor is what makes life fun. Few pleasures rival yukking it up with your kids.

Different Ages — Different Humor

Kids can start developing a sense of humor at a very young age. But what's funny to a toddler won't be funny to a teen. To help your kids at each stage of development, it's important to know what's likely to amuse them.

Babies

Babies don't really understand humor, but they do know when you're smiling and happy. When you make funny noises or faces and then laugh or smile, your baby is likely to sense your joy and imitate you. He or she is also highly responsive to physical stimuli, like tickling or raspberries.

Sometime between 9 and 15 months, babies know enough about the world to understand that when mom puts a diaper on her head or quacks like a duck, she's doing something unexpected — and that it's funny.

Toddlers Toddlers appreciate physical humor, especially the kind with an element of surprise (like peek-a-boo or an unexpected tickle). As kids develop language skills, they'll find rhymes and nonsense words funny — and this will continue well into the preschool years.

And it's around this time that many kids start trying to make their parents laugh. Your child might deliberately point to the wrong facial feature when asked "Where's your nose?" or put on your shoes and clomp around the house.

Preschoolers

A preschooler is more like find humor in a picture with something out of whack (a car with square wheels, a pig wearing sunglasses) than a joke or pun. Incongruity between pictures and sounds (a horse that says moo) is also funny for this age group. And as they become more aware of bodily functions and of what gets a parent's goat, preschoolers often start delighting in bathroom humor.

School-age Kids

As kids move into kindergarten and beyond, basic wordplay, exaggeration, and slapstick will increasingly funny. They may discover the pleasure of telling simple jokes (it's fun to be the one who knows the punchline!) and will repeat the same jokes over and over.

Older grade-schoolers have a better grasp of what words mean and are able to play with them — they like puns, riddles, and other forms of wordplay. They'll also start making fun of any deviation from what they perceive as "normal" forms of behavior or dress, and gross-out jokes related to bodily functions are a hit too.

But kids this age are also developing more subtle understandings of humor, including the ability to use wit or sarcasm and to handle adverse situations using humor.

Humor Basics

It's never too early to start developing a child's sense of humor. Babies' smiles and laughs are so delightful that we often do this intuitively — smiling, blowing raspberries, or tickling them many times a day just to hear a chuckle.

It's important to keep up this encouragement as kids grow. When you're playful and humorous with your child, delighting in silliness and laughter, you help him or her develop a playful and humorous attitude about life.

One of the best ways to do this from the toddler years on is to spend time every day being receptive to the many opportunities your child gives you to smile or laugh. Be spontaneous, playful, and aware of what your child finds funny at different ages. Also be game enough to laugh so the jokes don't fall flat.

What else can you do to encourage your child's sense of humor?

Be a humor model. One of the best things you can do to develop your child's sense of humor is to use your own. Make jokes. Tell funny stories. Laugh out loud. Deal lightly with small catastrophes like spilt milk.

Take kids' humor seriously. Encourage your child's attempts at humor, whether it's reading (potentially unfunny) jokes from a book or drawing "funny" pictures of the family dog. Praise your child for trying to be funny and be open to surprise — the first time your child makes you laugh is one of life's great pleasures.

Teach kids that adults are funny — and that they can be too. Make humor a part of your day-to-day interactions with your kids and encourage them to share funny observations or reactions, even when you're around other adults.

Create a humor-rich environment. Surround your kids with funny books — for toddlers and preschoolers these include picture books or nonsense rhymes; older kids will love joke books and comics. Also check out funny TV shows, movies, and websites for all age groups — help your child make good choices and then enjoy them too.

Where to Draw the Line

You don't want to rain on their parade, but kids need boundaries when it comes to humor, just like they do in other areas. You don't want to encourage mean-spirited or off-color jokes, so be a good role model and avoid using humor in this way. If someone tells a hurtful or inappropriate joke, don't laugh. Take the time to explain to your child why that joke isn't funny.

You also might want to gently discourage bathroom humor or at least not participate too heartily. It won't hurt anyone's feelings but kids may have trouble determining when it's OK to make such a joke (at home, with family) and when it's not (in the classroom, at church).

The Family That Laughs Together...

Above all, humor is social. That's why you laugh harder at a funny movie when you see it in the theater with other people laughing around you than all alone on your couch.

A key aspect to developing your child's sense of humor is to take time to have fun as a family. Share jokes, play games, and watch funny movies together.

You might even adopt your own offbeat family traditions, whether it's hanging spoons off your noses or wearing matching pajamas. It will be funny now — and maybe even funnier in years to come, when you and your kids remember those silly family times.

Courtesy: parentinghealthybabies.com, kidshealth.org

Picasso once said: "Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist after he grows up." He certainly had a point, and now researchers at North Dakota State University think they may have found an answer. Darya Zabelina and Michael Robinson, who carried out a US study into adult creativity have discovered that the more an adult act and thinks like a child, the more imaginative he or she becomes. "Thinking like a child is entirely possible for adults," says Robinson. "And we found that doing so is beneficial for certain types of creative activities."

While we're not suggesting you regress into making loud personal comments about people on the bus, or screaming when you want something, there are many things you can do to tap into your inner child. You could try not taking yourself too seriously, for one. Or be spontaneous, inquisitive and generally more chaotic. Or simply take life more slowly – enjoy a nice long bath instead of darting in and out of the shower. "It's all about finding anything we can do to relax ourselves," says chartered psychologist Mark Millard. "Most of the time most of us are too tight. We all need loosening up."

So if your creative impulses haven't dried up or been beaten out of you entirely, here's a handy guide to bringing out the best in yourself by behaving like a small child.

Lose your cool

Ever watched a child dance or sing? As the old adage by American author William Purkey goes: "You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching ... sing like there's nobody listening." This is exactly how children do it. It may not be in time to the music, and it may not look cool, but it's as spontaneous and as free as it gets. "Children have an enormous capacity to be uninhibited," says chartered counselling psychologist Martin Lloyd-Elliott. "Adults always thrive when they have at least a few areas of their life in which they allow themselves to let go completely."

This is about more than just not taking ourselves too seriously, says Michael Dunn, senior lecturer in business psychology at the University of Derby. He cites new research done into the way the brains of jazz musicians work which suggests that lowering our barriers can be highly productive. "Scientists discovered that when jazz musicians improvise, their brains turn off areas linked to self-censoring and inhibition, and turn on those that let self-expression flow," he says. "And in doing this they are coming to the task more like a child would."

Have a bad idea

How many of us have sat around in meetings with a half-decent idea in our head, yet not spoken up because we're worried people will laugh? We've all learned through bitter experience that if you say the wrong thing or express a dodgy idea, then chances are you'll be ridiculed.

"Children are much less inhibited about saying the things that might not be right," says Dunn. "To be creative, what we are looking for is not one idea but dozens of ideas – some good, some average and some rubbish. We need to go through the wrong stuff to get to the right stuff. So no matter how wild and wacky an idea is, we need to learn to suspend judgement and get it to the table. Kids aren't bothered about doing that, they have no fear of saying what they think." In other words stop being so paranoid and speak up. As Einstein once said: "If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it."

Learn to dawdle

If you've ever tried to get a child to school in a hurry you'll know: short of dragging them down the street, it's impossible. They don't seem to have a speed setting other than extremely slow. Do as they do and drag your feet whenever possible, stop to gaze into any shop window you fancy and miss the crossing when the green man comes up. "Going for a walk, letting our minds wander and having a really good rummage around in our mind is a very good problem-solving technique," says chartered psychologist Mark Millard. "Don't go out with blinkers on. Walk around and see what captures your attention. It's a great way to help us bust out of our usual mindset." Which is common sense: it's about slowing down and giving ourselves more time to see things.

Be bored

Many of us can remember issuing that pitiful lament: "Mum! I'm bored." Well, these days we just don't say it enough. When we're not working, we're doing our chores, watching TV, or Facebooking our friends, we just don't allow ourselves any proper down time any more. The psychoanalyst Dr James Hollis says all of us should "create space to invoke possibility". But it seems we have forgotten how.

"We need to make time and space to daydream, to meditate, to let our minds wander – to allow ourselves to be bored," says Lloyd-Elliott. "Most people seem to be allergic to stillness and silence and dreaded boredom. They have to fiddle with their phones, games consoles and laptops rather than just be. Too much human doing and not enough human being. Children embrace dead space and time and fill it with imagination. The greatest creative ideas often emerge from the gloom of boredom."

Break the rules

We have all had it drummed into us that there is one correct answer to everything and it's wrong to make a mistake. Children have no idea about these rules; they are chaotic and willing to search for many different answers. "We all got educated into a fixed way of looking at the world," says Millard, "which is really very good if you are a banker an accountant or someone who drives a car. But it's definitely very unhelpful if you are faced with a problem where you need to be more imaginative." Dunn also believes we accept convention too readily. "My students, for example, sit in the same seat for class week after week, for no reason other than that's what they have always done," he says.

"Try folding your arms with the other arm on top – it feels wrong. Without making the effort to mentally suspend any rules or conventions, creative output will be limited. "Children don't know theories," he concludes. "Their brains are not conditioned. They haven't learned the shoulds and have-tos of the adult world. They don't know what's possible and what's not. How many adults would crawl around the floor trying to pick up a sunbeam?"

Get yourself a babysitter

Not literally of course, but putting someone else in charge, even if just for a little while, can be hugely beneficial. There's a phase in psychology known as "executive control", which is all about how we are driven by deadlines, chores, work or whatever else, which means our attention is narrowed and so therefore able to be less creative. "We believe," says Millard, "that if we don't attend to these pressing issues something dreadful is going to happen." When we are stressed we limit our focus and home in on the things that are troubling us. "We tend to ruminate and turn things over and over and over and get fixated, which is not very helpful if you are trying to come up with new ideas," Millard adds. So, try handing over the reins, let someone else take control and sit back and think of higher things.

Sit in the back seat of the car

Another way of relinquishing control. Aside from giving up all responsibility for map reading, CD-changing and arguing about directions, occupying the back seat gives you a different perspective on life – it's simply a way of looking at things from a new angle. "It's just about changing age-old habits and breaking out of routine," says Millard. "Occupying a different physical space does wonders to change your outlook." Strapped down like a child, you are pretty much powerless to do anything (even to get out if there are child locks), so you might as well relax and enjoy. There's no need to go as far as getting yourself a booster seat.

Get an imaginary friend

Bear with us here, it's not as crazy as it sounds. We're not suggesting you launch into elaborate role-play or incessant chatter to an invisible being, but visualisation exercises have long been a valuable tool for the psychologist.

"One technique that I often use is to get people to imagine that they are an adult holding the hand of a child who is frightened of the situation they are in. It enables them to see the situation more clearly," explains Dr Rachel Andrew, a chartered clinical psychologist.

I have a friend who, when faced with a tricky situation, always asks himself the question: what would David Bowie do? It isn't quite an imaginary friend, but it seems to work for him.

"What someone like this could provide for an adult is a sense of comfort, security, friendship and belonging," says Millard. "It could just be someone you can sound ideas off, or someone who pats you on the back and keeps you going, or who sees things in a slightly different way. Anything that encourages positivity or changes your perspective can be very helpful."

Just try not to chat to them too much while out you're in public 😊

Courtesy: Lena Corner, independent.co.uk

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When I ask people at what age they feel they were (or are) the sharpest, it is shocking to me that no matter their current age – 20s, 50s, 80s – they always say their peak performance was 10, and often 20, years earlier. It does not have to be that way. Your best brain years can be ahead of you, not behind. Recent studies show that if you can change the way you think, you can change the wiring in your brain to improve its function and health.

I have spent my career researching how the brain best learns, reasons and makes sound decisions, as well as how to strengthen it. My goal is to accelerate the discovery of ways to ensure our brains remain more vibrant, supporting our need to make sound financial decisions, solve problems and retain creativity. In my recent book, Make Your Brain Smarter: Increase Your Creativity, Energy and Focus, I condense 30 years of research into tips on how you can rev up your brain's performance at any age.

Many scientifically proven strategies to boost your mental performance involve easily embraceable, common-sense tactics that can have an immense impact on the long-term health of your most important natural resource. One such tactic is eliminating toxic multitasking.

Why Multitasking Fails

So often we find ourselves in environments that erroneously place a high value on being able to multitask, the prevailing perception being that the more you can do at once, the more expertly intelligent and efficient you are. Alarmingly, some people even believe that multitasking is a good workout for the brain.

This type of thinking is damaging to your health

Multitasking is a brain drain that exhausts the mind, zaps cognitive resources and, if left unchecked, condemns us to early mental decline and decreased sharpness. Chronic multitaskers also have increased levels of cortisol, the stress hormone, which can damage the memory region of the brain.

The truth is, your brain is not designed to do more than one thing at a time. It literally cannot achieve this, except in very rare circumstances. Instead, it toggles back and forth from one task to the next. For example, when you are driving while talking on the phone, your brain can either use its resources to drive or to talk on the phone, but never both. Scans show that when you talk on the phone, there is limited activation of your visual brain – suggesting you are driving without really watching. This explains how we can sometimes end up places without knowing exactly how we got there.

Frequently switching between tasks overloads the brain and makes you less efficient. It's a formula for failure in which your thoughts remain on the surface level and errors occur more frequently.

Multitasking, though, can be a difficult habit to break. It's more common among teenagers and young adults who are constantly connected to email, smart phones and social media apps, but older technology users also seek the immediate satisfaction of beeps, dings and buzzes. Each creates an addicting release of dopamine in the brain, which perpetuates the need for speed and ceaseless stimulation, making the cycle more difficult to break.

Time for a Change

If you are a chronic multitasker, there is good news: You are never too old (or too young) to be proactive about brain health and performance. Recent studies provide evidence that adopting healthier thinking habits and improved cognitive strategies can rejuvenate your mind, reversing its clock by decades.

When you train your brain to think more strategically and efficiently, measurable improvements register on the biological level. Our own studies show that after only six hours of training, subjects can experience upsurges in neuron-nourishing blood flow, the genesis of new brain cells, improved communication between regions of the brain and increased white matter growth.

Consistent single-tasking helps ensure that your decision-making skills last late into your senior years. In "Healthy Brain, Healthy Decisions," a recent study of rational ability in people age 50 to 80, sponsored by the MetLife Mature Market Institute, the biggest predictor of a sound decision-maker was a high capacity for strategic attention, the ability to filter the most important information from less relevant data. Even better, the study found that strategic attention actually increases with age. And single-tasking is one of the best ways to prime the mind for strategic attention. (See tips for making better decisions from the study's authors here.)

Steps to Single-Tasking

Start your journey toward better brain health by adopting a single-tasking lifestyle in which getting things done sequentially is the rule. Your brain was wired for deep and innovative thinking, but that's impossible to achieve if you're trying to make it go in two or more directions at once. It takes a concerted effort to leave the chaotic addiction of multitasking behind, but the benefits are immediate and immense. It will increase your creativity, energy and focus. Here are a few tips to get you started:

Give your brain some down time. You will be more productive if, several times a day, you step away from mentally challenging tasks for three to five minutes. Get some fresh air, for example, or just look out the window. Taking a break will help make room for your next inspired idea because a halt in constant thinking slows the mind's rhythms to allow more innovative "aha" moments.

Focus deeply, without distraction. Silence your phone, turn off your email and try to perform just one task at a time. Think it's impossible to break away? Start with 15-minute intervals and work your way up to longer time periods. Giving your full attention to the project at hand will increase accuracy, innovation and speed.

Make a to-do list. Then identify your top two priorities for the day and make sure they are accomplished above all else. Giving the most important tasks your brain's prime time will make you feel more productive. Or, as Boone Pickens said, "When you are hunting elephants, don't get distracted chasing rabbits."

These tips — along with a healthy diet, adequate rest (about eight hours a night) and regular aerobic exercise (three times a week for 50 minutes) — will keep your mind and body functioning well. Thanks to medical advances, more of us will live to 100 and beyond, but our peak brain performance comes, at best, at about half that age. So our bodies live almost another lifetime after our brains' natural peak. This is why we all need to make a concerted effort to make our brains smarter. Don't let your brain go backward. Your future depends on it

Courtesy: Sandra Bond Chapman, Forbes.com

All children "misbehave" sometimes, and all parents wonder how to stop the misbehavior. But that's only half of our mission as parents. The other half is raising a child who internalizes our guidance to become "self-disciplined." The most effective "discipline" for your child is always positive, loving, gentle guidance. Here's why.Why Peaceful Parenting?

What is a Peaceful Parent? A parent who commits to regulating her own emotions, instead of taking them out on her child. A parent who commits to not using violence or shame to control her child, and instead uses connection and coaching to motivate him.

Why Peaceful Parenting? Because it works, from toddlers to teens. Peaceful parenting raises a child who WANTS to behave.

Strict Parenting raises angry kids who lose interest in pleasing their parents. Permissive parenting raises unhappy kids who test their parents. In both cases, the child resists the parent's guidance and doesn't internalize self discipline.

Peaceful parenting is using love and connection to keep our kids on the right path. Research shows that children are more open to our guidance when we empathize, and resist any temptation to be punitive. That's what helps kids learn consideration and responsibility, and makes for happier kids and parents.

"Children misbehave when they feel discouraged or powerless. When you use discipline methods that overpower them or make them feel bad about themselves, you lower their self-esteem. It doesn't make sense to punish a child who is already feeling badly about herself and heap more discouragement on top of her."

How to Use Peaceful Parenting

"One generation full of deeply loving parents would change the brain of the next generation, and with that, the world." —Charles Raison

Peaceful Parenting has three parts:

The parent commits to regulating his or her own emotions.

The parent prioritizes maintaining and strengthening the parent-child connection, which is the only reason children cooperate.

The parent loves the child unconditionally, rather than using "love withdrawal" or other punishment techniques to control and manipulate the child with punishment or rewards. Instead, the the parent sees him or herself as a coach, offering the child loving guidance so the child learns to manage emotion, and therefore behavior.

Below are the ten tips for practicing peaceful parenting instead of punishment at your house.  If you're wondering whether that's a good idea, the short answer is that punishment undermines your relationship with your child, makes kids feel worse about themselves (which makes them act worse) and sabotages your child's development of self-discipline. Isn't your goal to help your child feel good and act better? Click here for more information on WHY peaceful parenting raises great kids.

1. Peaceful parenting starts with regulating your own emotions,

...so that you can be the patient, emotionally generous parent you aspire to be -- and that every child deserves.

2. Evaluate all teaching based on whether it strengthens or weakens your relationship with your child.

The most effective discipline strategy is having a close bond with your child. Kids who feel connected to their parents naturally want to please them. Think Loving Guidance, not punishment. Punishment is destructive to your relationship with your child and ultimately creates more misbehavior. Loving guidance is setting limits and reinforcing expectations as necessary, but in an empathic way that helps the child focus on improving her behavior rather than on being angry at you.

3. Start all correction by reaffirming the connection.

Remember that children misbehave when they feel bad about themselves and disconnected from us.

Stoop down to her level and look her in the eye: "You want your brother to move, so you pushed him. No pushing; pushing hurts! Tell your brother, 'Move please!'"

Pick her up: "You wish you could play longer but it's time for bed."

Make loving eye contact: "You are so upset right now."

Put your hand on her shoulder: "You're scared to tell me about the cookie."

4. Don't hesitate to set limits as necessary, but set them with empathy.

Of course you need to enforce your rules. But you can also acknowledge her perspective. When kids feel understood, they're more able to accept our limits.

"You’re very very mad and hurt, but we don’t bite. Let’s use your words to tell your brother how you feel." "You wish you could play longer, but it's bedtime. I know that makes you sad." "You don't want Mommy to say No, but the answer is No. We don't say 'Shut Up' to each other, but it's ok to be sad and mad." "You are scared, but we always tell the truth to each other."

5. In any situation posing physical danger, intervene immediately to set limits, but simultaneously connect by empathizing.

"The rule is no hitting. You can tell your sister what you want and how you feel without attacking her."

6. Defiance is always a relationship problem.

If your child does not accept your direction ("I don't care what you say, you can't make me!"), it's always an indication that the relationship is not strong enough to support the teaching. This happens to all of us from time to time. At that point, stop and think about how to strengthen the relationship, not how to make the child "mind." Turning the situation into a power struggle will just deepen the rift between you.

7. Avoid Timeouts. They create more misbehavior.

Timeouts, while infinitely better than hitting your child, are just another version of punishment by banishment and humiliation. They leave kids alone to manage their tangled-up emotions, so they undermine emotional intelligence. They erode, rather than strengthening, your relationship with your child. They set up a power struggle. And they only work while you're bigger. They're a more humane form of bullying than physical discipline.

8. Consequences teach the wrong lesson if you're involved in creating them.

On the face of it, Consequences make sense: The child does (or doesn't do) something, and learns from the consequences. Which, when it happens naturally, can be a terrific learning experience. But most of the time, parents engineer the consequences, so that any child can explain to you that consequences are actually punishment.

If the parent is not involved in the consequences (for instance, if they don't study and flunk their test, or they don't brush and get a cavity) -- and if you can handle the bad result -- kids can learn a lot from suffering the consequences of their actions. Of course, you don't want it to happen more than once, or their self image becomes that of a person who flunks test and gets cavities, and they have learned an unintended lesson. My own view is that it works better, if possible, for them to skip such lessons, but as a last ditch strategy, we all certainly learn from letting things go wrong.

Unfortunately, most kids whose parents use "consequences" as punishment don't think of them as the natural result of their own actions ("I forgot my lunch today so I was hungry"), but as the threats they hear through their parents' clenched teeth: "If I have to stop this car and come back there, there will be CONSEQUENCES!!" If parents are in charge of consequences, then the consequences aren't the natural result of the child's actions, but simply punishment.

To the degree that Consequences are seen as punishment by kids -- and they almost always are -- they are not as effective as positive discipline to encourage good behavior. Using them on your kids should be considered a last result and a signal that you need to come up with another strategy.

9. What you think and feel is more important than what you say in how your child responds.

Kids will do almost anything we request if we make the request with a loving heart. Find a way to say YES instead of NO even while you set your limit. "YES, it's time to clean up, and YES I will help you and YES we can leave your tower up and YES you can growl about it and YES if we hurry we can read an extra story and YES we can make this fun and YES I adore you and YES how did I get so lucky to be your parent? YES!" Your child will respond with the generosity of spirit that matches yours.

10. How you treat your child is how she will learn to treat herself.

If you're harsh with her, she'll be harsh with herself. If you're loving with her while firm about setting appropriate limits, she'll develop the ability to set firm but loving limits on her own behavior.

Harsh discipline and punishment, ironically, interfere with the child's ability to develop self discipline. The problem with internalizing harshness isn't just that it makes for unhappy kids and, eventually, unhappy adults, it's that it doesn't work. Kids who are given discipline that is not loving never learn to manage themselves constructively.

To the degree that we're harsh with ourselves because of the way we were parented, we respond to it by rebelling (how many times do we cheat on our diets?) or martyring ourselves (trying hard to be good girls and boys but building up resentment and lashing out at those we love, or not giving ourselves a break and ultimately breaking down.)

To the degree that we can accept our own loving guidance because we've learned from our parents to treat ourselves that way, we are able to set goals and use our self-discipline to attain them. Ultimately, loving guidance and positive parenting result in the child's developing the holy grail toward which all child-raising is aimed: the child's own self-discipline.

Courtesy: ahaparenting.com