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"like a man who has just been handed the keys to something expensive and illegal" type of description that makes me instantly wish I'd written it myself
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I've been catching up Kidd Commander, a webcomic that I described as "dense and raw." (note: I mean this with great compliment, I can't even begin to describe the sheer envy on how the author writes the dialogue for the characters, it feels like water flowing gently off a bridge.)
I recently finished its second arc, "A Wretched Analog" and my GOD, it was an incredible, satisfying read. At about 200+ pages, it's a good, manga-sized volume story that appealed so directly to the shit I love.
And now I'm gonna talk about it and this shit is gonna be long, so I'll the rest under a "Read More" because I have a lot of thoughts about this particular arc.
So, I'm kind of a curmudgeon when it comes to "Robots Talk About What It Means To Be Human" stories because, I don't know, they often seem to come off as pedestrian and pretentious to me (sorry, I didn't like NiER: Automata). And I don't mean this isn't an excellent vehicle to talk about the nature of free will philosophically nor do I not enjoy plots like these, but I've find a lot of them appeal to me more when the robots in questions end up DOING more than just sitting in a chair talking.
Agatha Goddard does a hell of a lot of DOING.
I mean, they still talk, but I was immediately drawn to her not just from a design POV (I love the contrast of her striking blue hair with her metallic body), but the immediate fact that 1.) She's already self-aware and 2.) Everyone knows she's internally not happy with her situation as a robotic slave. After all, she has no "feelings", she's just a machine. Which is SO fascinating because the comic also states a lot of machinery like her has achieved sentience and basically live and are treated like regular folks. Which must piss off Agatha more.
God, even from the first page she's introduced (pic above), she looks like she has a massive chip on her shoulder (She has permanent resting bitch face and I'm all, "Girl, same.")
Like Agatha isn't just pretending she has to be the perfect robot servant, she's not speaking in a chipper tone to please her master and fake how she really feels. No, she's already pretty damn surly when you first meet her. She's already got a life and hobby; she rides motorcycles and raises pigeons. She has befriended an engineer kid genius who adores Agatha. She's already doing and feeling and thinking of her own accord. She has a life.
And Phineas notices. She notices the hell out of Agatha (omg, she crushed on that tall robot lady instantly and that's so valid) and as is wont of Phineas who sees any form of injustice, she's gonna fight hell and high water to free Agatha from her curse. And they do. But Kidd Commander is a comic that raises a lot of questions on the nature of the consequences of your actions based on your self-entitlement. A big, reoccurring thing is whether Phineas is any better than the Gods she wants to punch in their big, stupid eldritch faces because they deign to be uncaring and apathetic to the mortals they fuck over, and yet she herself is a powerhouse of raw emotion who will stop at nothing until she gets what she wants (a crew for her personal quest) whether they want it or not (and this arc in particular really questions it and I love it so damn much.)
God, I haven't even gotten to Ulrich pulling a Giles and killing Monterey because he'll do what Phineas won't and I'm on my knees going, "oh, this is good shit."
Any who, yeah, so Agatha also ties into the greater worldbuilding because she's a star spirit (more or less) encased into the body of an automaton, built by her late scientist mom because she desired a child. And then Monterey, the scientist mom's nephew, being so hideously jealous after his own tragic parental loss, kills her and then spends the next several decades torturing Agatha. And then proceeds to be mayor of the entire city. And then rules that with all the bread and circus it implied. And then proceeded to be killed by Ulrich... only to be revived in a new robotic body with no memories of his previous deeds and continues to be mayor because the city needs stability (especially after Phineas raised hell.)
He gets away with his crimes and Agatha is left to stew in anger over it.
And this goes into another kind of plot I love: the comic sympathizes with her anger.
Being angry has often been treated as a very negative emotion. There's been approx. forty million pieces of media where a character had to learn to be calm and collective; do not let wrath consume you. And like, contextually, depending on the story, that is very true and good advice.
This is not good advice for Agatha. Because why wouldn't she feel angry? Tormented all her life, stripped of autonomy, treated and infantilize. The last one is such a sticking point for me because GOD, I relate heavily to this because I spent most of my damn 20s being treated condescendingly; like some goddamn child because of how I behaved (read: being neurodivergent and nerdy.)
The thing about Agatha was that she was built to be a living person, to act and choose of her own accord. Monterey ended up erasing her data (read: memory) several times the moment she showed any sign of autonomy and rebellion. He expected compliance. What he got was a soda bottle ready to pop. Agatha was never designed to be a soulless bot and it's why she had her memories altered so many times. She would always rebel and remember because she is a person. And so, Agatha seethed, she raged, and there's a few points where she finally lets loose and it's so, so cathartic.
"A Wretched Analog" leaves with the crew banned from the city of Decodenn. There isn't any "we're going to fix this city's problem" like you'd imagine. I'm sure Phineas could do it if she felt the city needed to be saved (the last arc had her save an entire town, albeit a very small one, but no less meaningful to the people who live there): her goal was specifically to get Agatha out and only Agatha. There is something inherently selfish that Phineas is so one-track minded to do that just that. But it's still infinitely personal and feels grandiose and big because the comic so intensely focuses on how much of a disservice Agatha has been done.
Agatha decides if she can't strangle Monterey and toss him off the city (she, at least, got in a punch, but that feels so small to what he deserves), then she's going to take all the anger in her and put it to good use: help others who have been done dirty. She is justified and she is going to be a force of wrathful nature when prompt. And this is treated as a net positive. Anger need not be a negative emotion: it can be a fuel for determination and what you personally feel is retribution.
And I like that, it's a different kind of raw anger than what Phineas often demonstrates. Phineas has Luffy energy and quite often screams and kicks her legs in defiance if she so much as sees someone having a bad day. She's an unstoppable force who needs Ulrich to exercise some bit of restraint lest she burn cities for her cause. Agatha seethes on the inside and lets it fester and grow before she unleashes it all out. Each of them are very good and justified in their own ways, and has helped them in their personal dilemma and further achieve their goals.
"A Wretched Analog" is currently in the running for favorite arc. I've just started "Green Thousand Sing", so we'll see if that can top it. ;D What I'm saying is, AWA is just s rock solid 200+ pages of storytelling that I am imploring and shaking you to please consider and read.
Kidd Commander as a whole is often asking us to question the actions behind the protagonists' motivations as much as we want to root for them. It's the best kind of "Please understand" the further you read. It rewards patience (I'm not even joking when I say I've read each of the dialogue as carefully as I could because every word bubble feels meaningful and relevant) and leaves so much behind for you to consider how each of the characters think and behave, and yes, some of them are going to be ugly, but there's always a method to their madness, whether you agree or not. That shit is SO good. That's another thing I love when stories do. No clear cut "oh this character has to be Pure and Good because it's the only way to root for the protagonists." Naw, brah, they behave in ugly, ugly ways and that's the goddamn point.
By the time this posts Kidd Commander's first novel, Grist to the Cannon, is out!! Available at Aria's Ko-fi shop and Amazon in both physical and digital form! Tbh there are tons of ways to get this book, check out the author, Aria Bellās, post here for full details.
I've been very excited to read this re-imagining of the webcomic's first arc (Mile High Engage) ever since I first heard about it! And now that itās out Iām gonna be insufferable about it!
In celebration, Iām gonna post my thoughts/reactions to each chapter! One chapter a day! There will be plenty of spoilers, both for the book and the webcomic, so this is your warning!
If you donāt wanna see this you can block the tag ā#kidd commanderā or ā#grist to the cannonā or ā#gttcā. If you dont wanna see spoilers, you can block '#kidd commander spoilers' or '#grist to the cannon spoilers' or '#gttc spoilers'. I'm thorough like that.
Anyway, each new chapter will be its own post. Iāll figure out how to link them all to each other as I go, so thatās future meās problem. XD
Enjoy Chapter 0 thoughts under the cut! Things in brackets [] are excerpts from the book!
Yeeeesss, our first glimpse into how she percieves souls/auras/hearts! Iāve been interested in learning more about it since Phineas first mentioned it and every time itās come up in the webcomic hasnāt disappointed me! Itās very exciting to get her perspective and insight in prose form! God, I am SO EXCITED for her to meet Ulrich EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! I am SQUEALING, I am KICKING MY FEET!!
[Phineas could tell he was a working man from a distance. Long, faded spines of hardy reliability make straight and spartan lines in the air around him]
I am continuing to read. XD
[Taking a minute to think about trucks lulls the conversation, which Phineas tries to avoid since it gives people time to notice that something about her makes them feel nervous.]
MY (not) giiiiirl!! š Having recently gotten the inside scoop on Phineasā childhood and why she is the way she is in the webcomic (hint hint read the webcomic itās so good hint) makes this hit so hard! She just wants to find her people that she can be unapologetically herself with!! She knows she makes most people nervous and uncomfortable! Augh! Ulrich cannot show up soon enough, and not just because I love him dearly.
[āThere aināt even a road that comes this way, I was surprised when this one just showed up after āwhile. Like it fell out of the sky or somethinā.ā]
=)
[His name is Larimer, but Phineas never learns that because she forgets to ask.]
I love this line. I love this line so much. I love the writing voice that comes through so clearly here. Itās information Phineas doesnāt get but we, the readers, get it and itās so smoothly done!
[āYou aināt even got a pack or nothinā? Water?ā
āI got big pockets,ā Phineas says, spreading her arms to drag out her coat like wings around herā¦Itās too big for her.]
=) Yeah, it is too big for her. How about that? Anyway, I am ALSO curious about what she needs for travel and how she carries it. Does she need less than the average person or?
[Phineas had been able to feel the neon jab of his anxiety as soon as he caught sight of herā¦the only other sapient soul out here lighting up with fear had looked like a signal flare.]
Oohh, I love the imagery! Phineasā perspective of the world is so vibrant and alive!
[The lines in his face cut even deeper, probably at the circles burned into the palms of her fingerless leather gloves. They match the ones on her back.]
=)
[Phineas doesnāt think of herself as manipulative; thatās usually the longer way to get somewhere, and she doesnāt have the patience for anything but a straight line. But she does like to get what she wants, and sheās come to understand some stuff about other people after being Phineas Kidd for most of her life. From Larimerās perspective, inherent commander creepiness or not, sheās a small, unarmed person in the desert carrying nothing but a glorified bed sheet on her back. Sheās an adult for sure, but still young enough that people like this tend to pity her if they donāt pay attention to the battered skin across her knuckles or know what those circles on her hands mean. People also think sheās a woman, which usually drives all those sympathy meters further along in out of the way places like this. Being underestimated is good, most of the time, and right now she hopes it will get her on this wagon and down this road.]
I love this whole thing. Character perspectives is what I LIVE for and this is some good fucking food.
She doesnāt have the patience for anything but a straight line! Leaning into all the things that others interpet as non-threatening to offset "inherent commander creepiness!" And thatās not even touching āsheās come to understand some stuff about other people after being Phineas Kidd for most of her life.ā Thereās just. So much there I donāt even know where to begin. Wow. I love it. This is gonna marinate in the back of my brain for a long time, I can feel it.
[In the air around him, in some colors Phineas never fooled with naming, those spartan lines are getting a little bit less faded, hanging a little bit straighter in the air. Larimer is a decent man. Phineas wonders if he might have a grandson with a haircut like hers, or maybe his wifeās hair is the same shade of blushy pink.]
Aaaaaawww, so soft. =3 And more souls/auras! Man. She really is very insightful. Makes it even funnier when Ulrich doubts her later. XD And I LOVE the āin some colors Phineas never fooled with namingā! It tells us the colors are unique AND that Phineas isnt the kind of person to bother naming them. She knows what they mean, and thatās enough.
[She checks āwagonā off of the list of potential shapes sheāll have her shipās heart take.]
Haha, this made me laugh! š I can definitely understand why itās not to her liking.
[The sun is still working on setting in the direction theyāre heading, bleeding frenzied warm colors into the cooling purple of the night.]
This imagery is gorgeous. I love it. š
[Abject joy flies from her throat in a stab of laughter, yellow sparks lighting up the darkening space sheās balanced in and latching onto debris in the whirling dust to send them back the way theyād come.]
AAAAA, HER JOY!!!!! Her laugh always looks so exuberant in the webcomic and this version compliments it so well! Literally lighting up the world around her with her joy! ššš
[This old, weathered wood conducts energy as good as anything, and thereās plenty of momentum to redirect. As soon as they leave the ground Phineas commands the wheels back down before she thinks to stifle the reflex.]
Oohhh, itās so interesting to see her commanding like this, from an inside perspective! Iām so excited to see more!
[She also twigs that heās a patron saint; she can feel the distinct shape of his spirit, ancient and heavy with faith and obligation.]
Oohh, so thatās how they feel to her! Fascinating!
[Her own spirit thrums unseen and greedy along the desert floor, sailing through all the spaces between the grit where the sunshine gets caught, but it turns out heās further away than she thought. Too far to touch.
Sulking, she reels herself back. But then: a spark, a battery on her tongue that tastes like hot leaves.]
I wish I had something clever or insightful to say, but I am just reveling in the descriptions, the vivid imagery Iām enjoying so much!!
[The patron saint of this desert is watching her. Her body hums with the feeling of endless wandering, displacement, determined longing. Nothing and no one around for miles and miles and miles,
Innumerable veins writhing with life like eels in a river, a throbbing pulse rushing to some unspeakable buried heart in the center of this place, the red earth and the bleeding sky.
Phineas laughs for real this time; the match that starts the fire in a house that begs for it, joyous and terrible light.
Itās the first time sheās done it properly today. Longer if sheās being honest, and she loves how it spirals out in the air as a searing orange, dragging sunlight all the way up from her heart.]
SPEAKING OF GORGEOUS IMAGERY, THIS SECTION IS JUST DRIPPING WITH IT AND I LOVE IT I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!!! Joyous and terrible light!! Dragging sunlight up from her HEART, I am on my KNEES!!! š Beautiful, stunning, captivating!! šš
[Larimerā¦and his answering shudder brings her down enough to put it away again. She wants the hell off this wagon so bad she itches with it, all her muscles twitching and jumping to run. Away from this desert and its flinching faces, further away from the ones who flinched at the last place she passed through and even further away from the ones at home who flinched first. There have to be people she can laugh with somewhere, sheās gotta be getting close to finding them.]
AUGH AND THE PIVOT TO HIS SHUDDER, TO REMEMBERING ALL THE FLINCHING FACES. I AM CLAWING AT THE WALLS, I WANT PHINEAS TO BE HAPPY AND JOYFUL AND UNRESTRAINED IN IT!! ššš
Okay, Iāve retrieved tea and lemon cookies and calmed down. Letās finish Chapter 0, shall we?
[For the first time, Phineas wonders if something is amiss. From the way Jo talked there ought to be a city here, a real one, not a pile of dried-out lean-tos.]
=)
[Theyāre both staring back at her more intensely than animals wouldā¦It tilts its head unnaturally, even for a hare, bending its neck alarmingly until the stump of its bad ear is parallel to the groundā¦it folds its arms like a humankind, bent wrong at the elbows.]
I love how unnerving and unnatural the desert hare saints are!! Reading the webcomic I was just like āyeah talking magic hares, I accept thisā but in reality I WOULD be unnerved by animal-shaped things moving and acting like this! One of the benefits of a written medium, itās harder to miss details like this! Of course, the downside is that a picture is worth a thousand words. Some of the stunning art I love will be hard to translate into prose, but this book is chock-full of stunning imagery!
[The thing thatās really getting Phineasā hackles up is that they donāt have any discernible spirits, no halos or anything, which means theyāre hidingā¦patron saints hiding in their own territory probably isnāt a good sign.]
Oohh, fascinating! Learning this so early, goodness!
[She tries not to think about how she shouldnāt be able to reach so far in. Sheās up to her elbow in fur when something pricks her finger. The hare shudders.]
This is DEFINITELY unnerving and I love it. Got half her arm jammed into its ear.
[The sun is only a sliver sliced above the town now, the encroaching moonlight is threatening to spill everywhere like ice water.]
Fucking gorgeous. This book is going to be a DELIGHT.
(Spoilers - it was a delight! All the way through!! š„°š)
[She tucks the antler away in her coat pocket where it promptly slips from this plane of existence. Phineas slides her hands over the lapels of her coat, up around her neck, until the fabric shifts and extends along with her touch. Straightening her back, she pulls the newly formed hood over her head.]
WHAT? OH MY GOD, WHAT?! HOW DID I MISS THIS, DO I NOT HAVE EYES?? OMG I AM VIBRATING HOW DID I NOT KNOW HER COAT WAS CAPABLE OF THIS?! WELL THAT EXPLAINS HER āBIG POCKETS!ā Oh I definitely need to re-read the first arc, Mile High Engage. I was going to do that anyway, for comparisonās sake, but there is obviously stuff I missed and I am GOING BACK FOR IT. After I finish this chapter, of course.
[She meets the manās eyes and even through the glaze of alcohol the screwturn of her years bolts him in place. āRooster screams herself hoarse ācause thatās all she can do, but itās not fuckinā crowing. Crow is for good things.ā
The man swallows.
āH-her? The rooster is female?ā
He feels a month of his life burn away under her contempt.]
YEAAAAAAAAH JOCASTA!!!!!! This is so good, I love this!! Crow is for good things, huh? Damn, what a sentence.
And what a place to end Chapter 0! So excited for Phineas to finally get into town! Oohh, I really hope she meets Ulrich next chapter. SOON!!!
My thoughts/reactions to Chapter 1 will be posted tomorrow, so I hope you're looking forward to that!