#kibyou

I am sorry for anyone who has had to sit though one of my love tirades if you still talk to me I'm surprised I haven't scared you off yet

Seriously though I love you guys feel fucking PROUD because you are ALL incredible 

I made a lot of new friends last year (and got a lot of old friends back) and I'm really, really glad I did. You guys have been incredibly great influences on me. I used to be this scared little kid who tripped over her own shoes and who cried if you even looked at me funny (okay, I still do that). I used to try to hide behind everyone. I used to hate the way I looked and I wasn't confident in anything I did.

I mean, I'm not a 100% different person. I've still got a long way to go until I'm as good as you guys. But in your own really neat, independent, perfect ways, you taught me how to stand on my own two feet. I don't think you guys actually knew that you were doing it--I didn't know you were doing it until I walked in today and looked at people who are never going to like me and I thought, "fuck you, I'm myself". I don't think you believe me, either, when I tell you that you guys really changed me. But you should.

Like I said, I'm not totally better. I still have anxiety and I still have bad days and good days and I have panic attacks. On the other hand, I have a lot more confidence. I believe in myself and I don't see any reason to blame myself for things I can't control and to be proud of who I am and it doesn't matter who says that isn't right--they can go fuck themself.

You guys showed me that there are nice people and that there are safe places to be and safe groups to be in. That if I want to flirt with 800 people but still have one person I love, that's fine, I can go do whatever. I can act like myself around you guys (my dorky, princess loving, fairy-tale addicted, dreamy self), that's fine too; I've got big brothers and big sisters and a second mom to go to and you better believe some of them will kick ass.