Whatever the Dusks intended to do, though, was cut short. You dared to hope you were safe, hearing the familiar sound of the dark gateway opening just down the alleyway to beckon the creatures back. Only, they did not move. You waited, hoping they would suddenly disperse, called away into the darkness again like they always, always were. But they stayed on you, closing in around you.

Then you saw them.

From the gateway, a hooded figured appeared. They were dressed in black, merely a shadow against the looming darkness of the alley. Your heart clenched. Though it was dark, it was unmistakable. It was a human. You never expected to see a human emerging from the gateway, not after years of countless heartless. They came towards you, knocking aside the Dusk that had scratched you. It hissed in protest but hung back, twitching grotesquely.

“Well, now.” You jumped, hearing a man’s voice. Some part of you had expected him to be a mute, hooded spectre. He disregarded the Dusks, stopping when he was next to you so that he could lean down to look at your face. In what little light there was, from beneath the hood you caught sight of a bright green eye. “So you’re the one who keeps stealing my Dusks.”

“S-stealing?” You asked, frightfully aware of the way the creatures twitched at their name. You had no intention of correcting him. If such horrifying things belonged to him, you could only imagine he was just as terrifying.

“Why though?” He asked aloud. You knew he was asking it to himself and not to you. He stood up straight, a thoughtful hand to his chin. “You can’t harness the darkness, can you?”

You only realised he had addressed that one to you after an uncomfortably long pause.

“Darkness?  N-no. I don’t know what that is.”

“Strange…” He sounded a little lost. He paced back and forth, debating such an odd predicament. You hoped he would figure something out soon. The air was turning crisper as the night came in. Your fingers prickled under the cold. Yet, you could not stop to worry about that when four Dusks and a hooded figure loomed in front of you. He did not seem intent on hurting you…for now. You wanted him to leave, and take his monsters with him. With any luck, they would be gone from your life forever.

Instead of leaving, he came in close again—not to your face, but to your chest. You panicked, moving your hand to slap him away on reflex, but he caught your hand and pushed it away, against the wall. He pulled down his hood and you saw the shock of red hair before he pushed his ear to your chest. Your heart hammered in your ribs two hundred beats a minute with the man’s impossibly warm face pressing against you. You stammered, too shocked to move. He didn’t make any other attempt to touch you, or do anything inappropriate, but his leather gloved hand kept hold of your wrist, preventing you from running. Not that you could outrun four Dusks and a human—if that’s really what he was.

“Wait, so how are…” He seemed half way through a thought, confused by whatever he could hear in your chest. He lifted his head to look at your face, bewildered. Then your eyes met. You were glad he had pulled away from your chest. However fast your heart had been before, it doubled. Though it was dark, the vague light from the street lamps and the stars above framed his face; the straight lines of his jaw and the powder complexion of his skin. He was terrifyingly handsome. His green eyes shined like a cats and as soon as they had you in their sights you couldn’t look away.

Lucky, then, that he looked away nearly as fast. He pulled back entirely. When he spoke, he sounded flustered and would not meet your gaze a second time. The Dusks made a strange, elongated hissing sound. If you didn’t know any better, it almost sounded as though they were laughing.

“Your heart. That’s what’s calling the Dusks to you. I think.” He passed you a fleeting glance. “You’ve got a messed up ticker in there.”

“My—” you pressed your hand to your chest in alarm. If your heart was attracting the monsters, surely there was nothing you could do about it. “What am I supposed to do?”

The man cocked an eyebrow, daring to look at you longer to take in your alarmed expression. “Do?” He pondered the question. “Most human hearts are balanced – they hold enough light and darkness in them to work harmoniously.

“But you… yours is like a toffee with a soft centre. These guys,” he pointed to the Dusks, “come to you because of the dark exterior of your heart. They’re good like that. Little lap dogs ready to do the darkness’s bidding.

“But as soon as they get close, they sniff out that gooey centre – the light in you that’s just too much to handle. They want at it.”

This news alarmed you. “B-but if I’ve got both in my heart, that’s the same as everyone else! Why are they targeting me?”

“Because it’s not the same as everyone else. Weren’t you listening?” The man flicked you in the forehead. “At first, your heart looks totally consumed in darkness. That attracts the Dusks. But you’ve got a bright light trapped in the middle, completely separated from the dark. Most human hearts are like marble cake. The light and dark are interspersed. But you’re a surprise-centre toffee.”

Somehow, that thought was unbearable. Though it was rarely a conscious decision, you knew what he was talking about. That part of you that you had tried to protect and the very means by which you had shut it away were what attracted the monsters to you. Then, surely that meant they would always come after you. You could not redefine your heart—not now, not after so many years. Anywhere in public, anywhere away from your home, it was impossible to let your heart’s light shine, let alone have it mingle with the darkness inside you.

You could not—would not—let the light in your heart be tainted by the overbearing horrors of the darkness.

“What do I do?” you asked again, your voice notably softer as the impossibility of the situation plagued on you. The man shrugged, unhelpfully laidback given your inner turmoil.

“That’s not my problem.”

“But you can control them.” You referred to the Dusks that were waiting uncharacteristically patiently as the redhead spoke with you. You were almost certain that if he left, the Dusks would resume their hunt. Now that you knew you were like candy to them, the reality of their intentions loomed over you.

The man shrugged dramatically.

“Still not my problem.”

With that, he turned to leave. Your heart dropped, fearing the wrath of the too-close-for-comfort Dusks. Perhaps in a wave of sympathy, feeling your fear, the man flicked his wrist.

“Come on, you nitwits. Let’s go.”

He was calling the Dusks away. You waited for them to follow, but they didn’t. The man noticed. He turned and stared them down. “I said move.”

The Dusks did not leave, but they did not move towards you. You looked hesitantly between the monsters and the man, hoping he had only forgotten some sort of special trick to make them leave.

He gave a dejected sigh, clutching his hand to his forehead.

“You’ve got to be kidding me…”

You wondered what he meant, until he marched back towards them. You expected him to drag the creatures away by the slithery white tentacles. What you did not expect was for him to pull you away by the arm.

“What are you doing?” You stammered, trying to dig your heels into the ground.

“I’m doing you a favour.” He said, staring ahead as he made his way to the dark gateway, completely unfazed by your attempts to resist his pull. “…probably.”

Without looking back to aim it, he shot something over his shoulder. It flew past you and landed between the Dusks, then the ground beneath them burst into flames. Their screeches filled the alleyway, distracting you long enough for the man to pull you through the gateway without any resistance. You only noticed you were inside the dark corridor when the view of the alley disappeared, replaced by an ominous blue haze.

You were given very little time to take in your new surroundings. Your shock alone was enough to stop any sensory information from processing, then the sound of the man’s voice telling you to keep quiet and stay with him took over any other thoughts. The very real fear of walking into a world of Dusks and heartless stopped you responding. Surely, if you attracted those creatures, he wouldn’t take you to where they lived?

At the other end of the dark corridor, you reappeared in another corridor. This one, however, was tangible. It was tall, with heavy metal walls and other corridors leading off it in different directions.

The man looked around quickly before yanking you forwards, dashing through the hallways. Suddenly, you realised you weren’t supposed to be here. Wherever this place was, it was not the land of heartless. Even so, the way the man looked this way and that at every turn had you fearing for your safety just as equally.

Finally, you arrived at a door. You had passed many on the way, but this one looked different—almost homely. It was white metal, just like everything else in the vast building, but there was a pane of red glass near the top, with a strange kind of insignia below it. It almost looked like the wheel of a ship. The man pushed it open, taking you inside. Once you were in, he shut the door and locked it.

“What a mess,” he said under his breath, running a hand through his hair. Then he looked at you. You were already sat on his bed. “Please,” he said sarcastically, “make yourself at home.”

You blushed awkwardly, only realising then that it was his bed. Some part of you thought this was a kind of safe house for you to stay in.

“So, if this wasn’t your plan to help me,” you asked, crossing your legs on top of his black bed sheets, “what’s the plan?”

You seemed to be in a Dusk-free zone, but you couldn’t imagine staying here forever. The man passed you a look.

“What? Plan...? Oh!” He seemed to catch what you were getting at. “There’s no plan. I just thought you were interesting. Thought you’d put up a fight if I said I was gonna steal you away. Then again,” he offered, taking residence on the chair beside his bed, “this does actually get you away from the heartless, so really it’s a win-win.”

“Steal me away…?” You pondered his words for a moment, then the shock of it hit you. “This was a kidnapping?”

“I mean you can call it that if you want. But I like to think of it as keeping you out of harm’s way, and keeping you where I know you can’t bother the Dusks when they’re on duty.”

It was hard for you to take in the grandeur of his actions when he said it in such a laidback manner. He caught the look of panic in your eyes.

“Look,” he offered, “You asked for help. The only way I can help you is if I redirect the heartless that come sniffing around. The only way I can do that is if you stay with me.”

“Stay… with you?” You weren’t sure if he meant anything by it, but the insinuation of his otherwise innocent words made your cheeks flair up. “No. I can’t. I mean, I don’t know you. You could be anyone—”

He pushed his hand out towards you, a smile on his lips as his eyes regarded you with a sudden sort of interest.

“The name’s Axel.” He waited patiently. Taking his cue after a little too long, you hesitantly shook his hand. “Get it memorised.”

With such a strange name, it was hard for you to forget it.

“I’m ____.”

“____, hmm?” He repeated your name, testing how it felt. After a moment, he smiled. “Well, ____, before we get all chummy, how about you tell me what you’re hiding in that heart of yours?”

Your hands were still clasped from the handshake, and you noticed the way Axel’s hand tightened around yours just slightly.

“I can’t.” You admitted. “It’s not safe.”

Axel looked around, expecting to see a sudden cluster of Dusks. “Not safe? The heartless won’t get you if I’m here. I promise.”

It was too early for you to appreciate the weight of Axel’s promises. If there was one thing he stuck to, the one thing that made him feel human again, it was that he never, never broke a promise.

“No… not them. You. You’re not safe.”

Axel had to laugh. “You don’t know that. I just rescued you. I’m the safest thing in this building.”

That thought worried you. It was all well and fine if he really was a good person, but if he wasn’t and he was still the safest thing in the building, you didn’t want to meet the other residents.

“Still.” You were hesitant to tell him. Just because he had rescued you—if that’s what the two of you were going to call it—that didn’t mean you could readily release that which you had kept secure for years. “I’m sorry.”

Axel let go of your hand. He did not seem annoyed, like you had expected, but contemplative.

“Fine,” he agreed after a moment. “Don’t show me what it is. Just tell me why it’s hidden. What made you lock it away?”

You couldn’t do that either. The entire reason you had locked it away was to protect it from the past, so that you didn’t have to process what happened.

“All I can say,” you said softly, keeping to the outskirts of your memories for fear of remembering too much, “is something happened when I was little. Something no child should ever have to face. My heart cracked from it. The only way to protect it was to hide it away.”

You kept your gaze to the floor, refusing to meet Axel’s eyes as you confessed as much as you could. You felt the clench in your heart as your consciousness drifted closer to the memory.

The pain must have shown on your face. Axel pulled you back into the room, out of your head, placing a firm hand over your quivering one.

“You’re okay. Relax.” He waited until you looked up from the floor, at him. “That’s all I needed to know. I won’t ask again. So don’t worry.”

You scolded yourself for feeling so helpless, for letting yourself get vulnerable. Axel let go of your hand, shifting from the chair to sit beside you on the bed. You weren’t sure you could remember the last time anyone had given you a hug--so used to keeping yourself closed off to the world--but Axel gave you no time to back away. Seeing your worries, he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you against his chest, his legs wrapping loosely around you once you were snug.

In all honesty, the one thing you craved more than anything was a connection. You wanted the bonds that everyone else had. You wanted to feel loved. Axel’s warm touch reminded you of that. You wondered how long it had been since anyone had held you like this. Though he was a total stranger, you relaxed into him, his one display of compassion enough to stop you fighting your heart, just for now.

You were a funny little thing, Axel thought, enjoying the feeling of you in his arms. He knew you were damaged. Something had happened that probably should have killed you--pushed you into the darkness forever. But even as he held you, listening to you breathing slow, relaxed breaths, he could feel the glimmer of light within you.

He wanted to see that light shining bright. It was just a feeling, but something in him told him that you could be the light that would make him whole again.

------

You can read the rest of Seasons over on my AO3 at WhenSarahSmiles, linked on my Writing Masterlist.❤️

Xehanort leads their sword dance as they cover the entire training ground, both boys lashing out with their blades, parrying, and blocking. He’s more heavy-handed than Eraqus is and he’s got the other boy shifting backwards, taking the defense to Xehanort’s offensive move-set. There’s a smile on Eraqus’ lips even as he’s backed towards a corner and Xehanort knows his friend has some kind of trick up his sleeve. 

He’s learned by now that Eraqus always seems to have some kind of trick, a wild card to turn the tide. Their fellow students think of him as adherent to rules, upholding fair and just tactics, but Xehanort knows better. Behind that cheerful smile and dark, twinkling eyes is the mind of a trickster and Xehanort welcomes the challenge of never knowing just what exactly his friend will do to get out of the corner he’s worked Eraqus into.

One day, he thinks, he’ll know all of the other boy’s tricks.

Just not today, he notes, as Eraqus swings his new Keyblade into the air with a shout of Light! and unleashes Faith on Xehanort. Pillars of light knock him back away from Eraqus as he brings his arm up to protect his eyes from the brightness of the attack. He lands hard on his back, his own Keyblade slipping from his fingers and clattering to the ground, dissipating a moment later to wait for him to summon it again. 

He doesn’t get the chance before Eraqus has him pinned down with a smug smile, Keyblade at his throat. Both of them are breathless, chests heaving as the match ends with Eraqus the clear winner. Xehanort’s unwilling to break eye contact with the other boy - he may have lost the match, but he’s not giving up in becoming better with more training and he hopes that Eraqus knows this.

If Eraqus does, he’s not voicing it and Xehanort is fine with that. 

“Do you yield?” Eraqus asks between heavy breaths. 

“This time,” he answers. A smirk crosses his lips a moment later. “This doesn’t count as a loss, of course.”

“Of course.” Eraqus laughs and pulls his Keyblade away from Xehanort’s throat, letting it disappear for the time being. He moves to let Xehanort rise, offering his hand to his friend as he stands. “Ready to go back in?”

Xehanort sits upright to take Eraqus’ hand without answering and, instead of using his hold as leverage to get up, tugs Eraqus back down. As a surprised yelp escapes the other boy, Xehanort buries his free hand in dark curls to pull him in to catch Eraqus’ lips in a still breathless kiss.

It’s far from a graceful kiss, noses bumping together as Xehanort tilts his head, and it’s decidedly a little gross, all chapped lips tasting of salty sweat from the intense practice round. Xehanort’s never kissed anyone before and he doesn’t think that Eraqus has, either. He can’t tell if his heart is racing from exertion or exhilaration, but he thinks it’s the latter when Eraqus kisses back.

Already out of breath from their match, the kiss lasts only moments, over too soon and Xehanort curses that fact. He's wanted to kiss Eraqus for a long time, just never quite sure how his friend would react to it. It’s always stopped him, the question of whether Eraqus would refuse the kiss, shove him away, recoil, or otherwise reject him. He never quite decided whether it was worth a shot or not, up until that moment there on the training ground.

But if the joyous laughter escaping the other boy now is anything to judge by, Xehanort's been wasting time with his indecision. 

"It's about time, Xeha." Eraqus smiles softly at him and, taking hold of the straps crossing over Xehanort's chest, tugs him in for another kiss.

They still have to awkwardly adjust the tilt of their heads to find just the right position for the kiss, but Xehanort is smiling into the kiss now and he shifts his hold on Eraqus’ hand to tangle their fingers together. 

“I’m here.” He said, kneeling down before your chair so that he could glance up at your face. He removed his leather gloves then took your hand in his much larger one, gently stroking his thumb over your skin. You were cold to touch. You might have been sat here all alone for the longest time, unwilling to move to grab a blanket or a jacket to warm yourself.

He gave a heavy sigh, willing you to meet his gaze as he stared at you. Without taking his eyes off your face he turned his free hand towards the fireplace and shot a flame into the grate. Even without logs or coal to sustain it, the flame would burn for a few minutes or so – enough to take the chill from your bones, at least.

As the magical flame crackled and danced in the fireplace, Axel took both your hands and kissed the knuckles, each hand in turn.

He wanted to tell you everything would be okay. He wanted to tell you it would get easier, that you would smile again in the end. But he knew it was too soon for that. Words could not reach you – in fact they could make you worse, like they were trying to rush you through your grief; like there was a time limit on how long you were allowed to take to heal.

There was no rush. Not for this. Axel felt helpless but he stayed with you, knowing you would tell him what you needed when you were ready.

When the flame died down, he picked himself up off the ground, letting go of your hands. They fell limply by your sides while your face stayed buried in your knees.Slowly, so slowly for fear he was overstepping your boundaries that shifted and strengthened when you were upset like this, he leaned down and tried to take your whole body in his arms. At first he wrapped and arm behind your back, then slipped another below your knees. You did not reject him. When he lifted you up, your limp arms came to life and wrapped around his neck to help him take your weight.

You stayed quiet as he carried you. He held you close and as tightly as he could. He took you through to the bedroom, letting you down onto the bed so that he could find your pyjamas – the comfortable ones that you loved so much. He helped you change into them then got you into bed, tucking the sheets up to your chin before he folded your clothes and left them in a pile on your chair.

He got you a glass of water, an old teddy bear than no one but he knew you still owned and then changed out of his black cloak and into the set of pyjamas he kept at your place. He closed the curtains and turned off the light, then got in bed beside you.

Some time passed before you started to move. Axel waited patiently, under the covers but keeping his distance to let you decided what you wanted. You reached over your shoulder, feeling the mattress and the pillow as you searched for him. He took that as a sign and shuffled into you, melding his larger body around yours like a warm comforter. He slipped his arms around your waist, smiling as his hands brushed the teddy bear clutched in yours before he encompassed you completely.

No words were spoken. No sounds were made but for the soft sniffs as you tried to hold in your tears. Axel held you tighter, pressing his face into the back of your head. He sighed, wishing he had some way to protect you from the horrible things humans called feelings.

He wanted to tell you it would get easier. It would get easier. But for now he was contented to hold you and comfort you in the quiet of your room, in the peacefulness of this moment where communication was not demanded nor necessary.

He would wait until your voice broke the silence and told him what you needed.

–

I just lost my grandfather. Each member of my family is dealing with it in a different way, but we are unanimously sad and grieving. He passed at home surrounded by his family so I can at least be comforted by that.

Well… I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t just a little disappointed in how things played out in the end.

Hey, I mean, I’d be the first to say “Hurray! The Kid who’s gonna save the world is back from whatever nightmares Xenmas—Xehanort.... whatever—put him through! So glad the Kid is fine and the day was saved and everything will be sunshine and rainbows again, let’s go beat the bad guys and please remember that I am no longer on their side, thanks. No, I honestly had no idea that Isa was one of them, would you please stop asking me what other nefarious plots they’re up to and believe me when I say I don’t know?”  

Well, ok. Maybe I wouldn’t say it quite like that.

But yeah. I’ll admit to feeling a little disappointed when Sora woke up. Sora. And yeah, maybe I was a little angry when the Kid just sort of jumped up and started hugging all of his friends, and when he saw me standing in the corner his first reaction was to aim his keyblade at my heart.

Disappointed. Yeah, we’ll leave it at that.

I mean, it’s not like I’d really gotten my hopes up, or expected anything different. Sure, I gave up my existence as a nobody to save his skin, and yeah, I spent who knows how long trying to manifest a keyblade, and then I was able to swoop in and save the day, but… I dunno. I thought it would…be different when the Kid woke up.

And ok, maybe a little part of me had hoped—believed—that since I’d had a second chance, well, maybe Roxas would too.

 It’s funny. I finally get my heart back, and I can officially start to feel all of these things again, but all I feel is sad.

 I mean, who gets sad when there’s cake?

 It’s… time to go. I didn’t actually tell the others where I was going when I came to see the wizard, and while they probably haven’t noticed my absence, I’d like to at least pretend that they care. I mean, didn’t we bond over losing our hearts and joining an evil organization set on summoning a massive world filled with incomprehensible power? Surely that’s gotta count for something. I have friends, really.

Oh man, if Roxas could hear me now, he’d get on my case for moping and tell me to lighten up. I mean, if Roxas would think I was angsting—

Sora looked up, catches my eye, and I can see some of the happiness fade—I literally see the smile leave his eyes, the tensing of his shoulders, the hasty attempt to pretend he didn’t see anything, anyone. Apparently, he’d forgotten that I was here.

Yeah, definitely time to go.

My arm is halfway up and my hand is outstretched, and I can feel the darkness gathering in the corner of the room when there’s a tug on my sleeve.

“Ax—uh, Lea, wait a sec. I wanna talk before you go.”

I hesitate because I know it’s him and I’m starting to wonder if maybe the Kid knows more than he’s letting on, and I can’t quite crush that flutter of hope that maybe my best friend is still in there somewhere. But I turn and it’s Sora who’s giving me that earnest look. Sora, who’s tugging on my sleeve, pulling me towards the door out of the tower. Sora, who waves aside his friends’ concerned looks when he drags the guy that no one is still quite sure about out of the sight of others (I mean, really, what’s it take to get a little trust with these people? I already did the swooping in to save the day thing, what else do I have to do to get a little friendliness here?)

And even though it’s Sora and not Roxas, I decide to humor him because it’s just as easy to escape outside as it is inside. When he sees that I’m not about to fade back into the shadows, he releases my arm and stretches, clasping his hands behind his head and giving me his signature smile. It’s Sora’s smile, not Roxas’, so it makes it a little easier, but given the fact that the Kid tries to make friends with everyone (even the bad guys—especially the bad guys) it’s no big surprise.

Still, I can play along, see what he wants. I cross my arms and lean against the building, tilting my head so I can still look down at him. Kid’s grown since I saw him last. Of course, he’ll stunt his growth if he keeps eating that much cake in one go.

“I never really got a chance to say thank you,” he says, interrupting my thoughts. “The others told me what you did, back in… that place. You really saved our lives. I don’t even wanna think of what would’ve happened if you hadn’t shown up. Thanks, Lea.”

The worst part is that we all know what would’ve happened—Another puppet like Isa and Braig to add to the collection. Sora’s awakening comes to my mind unbidden, but he wakes up with golden eyes and there’s nothing of the Kid or Roxas left, or it’s buried so deep there’s no chance of getting either of them back.

I swallow the sudden lump in my throat at the thought of that, and fall back on my usual defense.

“Well, you know it’s all part of the training to become a true Keyblade master. Heroic deeds and saving the day are a big part of it.” I tap my finger against my forehead and give him a grin. “Got it memorized?”

Interesting reaction, though, to the thought of losing both of them. Almost like I still thought there was a “both” of them left to save.

But it’s Sora who shakes his head, Sora who sighs, Sora who crosses his arms and looks at the ground. He’s got Roxas’ frown—or, no, I guess Roxas was the one who used to frown like Sora. But it’s not the cranky or frustrated frown he gets when you’ve taken the teasing too far, it’s the Deep Thought Frown (reserved for when things get really serious), and given that Sora isn’t, well… let’s just say it’s not one I’d expect to see on the Kid. I shift against the wall, trying to get a better look at his face, but he’s hiding his expression under his bangs and I can’t quite see anything beyond the Deep Thought Frown.

 “Lea, when I was sleeping, when I chased the dreams in the World that Never Was, I saw, um,” he shifts from foot to foot, and I think the Kid is actually nervous to talk to me. Or maybe he’s just worried about what I’ll do when he talks. I brace myself—I think I already know where this is going, and it’s not really something I want to talk about right now.

“I mean, when I was in there, I saw all kinds of things, and I dunno what was real and what was fake, there were a lot of people I didn’t really recognize but I felt like I knew them, you know? But one of them stopped to talk to me—I remember that much.” And he looks up, catching me with that familiar expression of worry, those bright blue eyes large and wide.

“Axel, I got to meet Roxas!”

I can’t help it. I flinch, pushing away from the wall and turning towards the bright horizon. I really don’t wanna hear any parting words from someone else. If Roxas has—had— something to say to me, he should’ve said it in the Digital Twilight Town. He should’ve said something before he left the Organization. He should’ve said… something. Sora shouldn’t be the one forced to say goodbye.

 “I’m not gonna give up, and neither should you!”

 That… is not something I expected to hear. I look over my shoulder to see Sora—is he crying?

“I tried telling him that, but he wouldn’t listen,” Sora says, and yes, there are tears in his eyes but I’m not sure if it’s because he’s sad or if it’s because he’s frustrated. “I told him that he deserved to be a person as much as I did, and then he gave me his memories. I remember everything now, the missions together, ice cream on the clock tower, Winner sticks!”

Sora clenches his fists, frown deepening into a scowl. Ok, well, apparently they’re tears of anger. I guess that’s something. “It’s not fair!”

“Who said anything in life was fair?” I ask, and I can’t quite hold the bite back. I guess it’s anger, or risk tears of my own. Why did I want a heart again?

“I still don’t remember everything, and some things are kinda fuzzy, but I know that you kept your promise!” Sora insists, and he grabs my hand, shaking it. “You kept me safe like you said you would. You watched over us and protected us! I remember your promise, and you came through for him. For me, um, for us?” he trails off, and the Deep Thought Frown comes over his face again.

I can’t help it. I laugh, ruffle his hair, and wave off his thanks. “I didn’t have anything else to do, so why not?”

Great coping mechanism, that. But I guess laughing is better than crying, and I’d probably regret setting the wizard’s trees on fire. Probably. Maybe not immediately, but eventually. I guess I could blame it on the Kid, but somehow, I don’t think that would fly. That’s the only downside to having a signature move (and I do mean only, my moves are awesome).

“No, I mean what I said,” he insists, still not letting go of my hand. “Demyx told me once that nobodies can grow hearts—you did, I think you all did. So even if Roxas originally came from my heart, he had his own, right? So, we just have to find it and get it back for him!”

“I… don’t think it’s quite that easy,” I say, but the Kid’s enthusiasm is catching, and I can feel that damn flicker of hope again. If it’s true, if there was a way… I crush that thought before I finish the sentence in my head. “If anything, Roxas might’ve been Ventus’ nobody, so when we find and wake him up, Roxas will go to Ven.”

Sora sags a little at that. I guess he hadn’t considered that, although it’s been nagging me since the first day I met Roxas, remembering someone else I’d met in another life. And what was it Xigbar had said? ‘He used to give me the same look?’

The grip on my hand tightens again, and Sora shakes his head. Apparently, the Kid only stays down for a few heartbeats before he musters up cheerfulness again. It’d be annoying if it wasn’t so endearing. He’d probably get on Roxas’ nerves after a while, though.

“Even if that’s the case, I think Roxas had a heart of his own. I know he did, I could feel everything he felt, knew everything he knew, remembered… well, most stuff, I think. Like I said, some stuff is fuzzy.” He wrinkles his nose as though he’s trying to remember something, or someone.

“I think there was a girl? She sort’ve looked like Namine. And there were others too, some people I recognized, others I didn’t. But I think they were different hearts that touched mine. I’ve gotta believe that there’s a way to help them all, and you’ve gotta believe, too!”

“Me?” I laugh. I can’t help it, his damn optimism is contagious and he’s grinning through the tears. “Why do I have to believe anything?”

“Because,” he says, “I’m gonna need help! My friends are my strength—I can’t do it alone. Besides, you’re his best friend. Don’t you wanna be there when he wakes up?”

“I—“ I swallow back another lump, deciding that maybe, just maybe, it’s ok to dream a little. The flicker of hope returns a third time, and I know it’s gonna be damn hard to snuff out. “Yeah,” I say at last. “Yeah, of course I’ll be there. I made a promise, didn’t I? Keep it--“

“—Memorized, I’ve got it,” he grins and finally relinquishes my hand. I shake it out, trying to get blood flowing into my fingers again. Kid has a grip, I’ll give him that.

Sora’s beaming at me as though he’s just won the battle of the century, and I look away. I feel like a bit of an idiot, grinning when we really have no basis for our theory or any clue of how to help, but… it’s nice to feel hope again. Hell, it’s nice to feel anything again.

“I really appreciate everything you’ve done, and I know we’re gonna help him. We’re gonna save them all!”

I tsk, ruffling his spikes again. “Yeah, well… just don’t be getting yourself into any more trouble when I’m not around, alright? I’m gonna be busy, training to use the Keyblade and everything. Plus I’ve gotta help the others, since they’re back to doing their Sciencey shit.”

Sora pushes my hand away, laughing. “Lea, we’re gonna figure out a way to help him. I promise.”

 “You know, you already have, Kid. He was really looking forward to meeting you. Sounds like he finally got his wish.” I turn my attention back to the horizon, and I’m already regretting that I will, in fact, have to leave pretty soon. The Organization is gone, but we’re back to the way we were. You don’t just throw away second chances like that, you need to act, make sure that whatever time you have left counts. Maybe I’ll be lucky and go out with a bang again.

But not before I see Roxas at least one more time.

Sora scrubs his hand across his face, drying his tears and wiping away the sleep that still lingers in the corners of his eyes.

“I know you’re gonna have to go soon,” he says, and he actually sounds sad. Imagine that, the Keyblade wielder actually likes me to some extent. Or maybe it’s Roxas, who knows.

“I mean, we’re all gonna be really busy training and preparing for this final attack. But, I can’t help feeling like there was someone else. Someone else who went on missions? I still can’t remember that girl’s name. And some of the Organization members are still missing, right?”

“Demyx--- or Meyd, I guess,” I say, wondering where in the hell he could’ve woken up. With that guy’s luck, he probably ended up as an octopus or a whale or something in that undersea world. “Plus the people from the Castle. Not sure if that’s a bad thing, though.”

“We’re gonna figure it out,” he says. “I just wish I could remember her name.”

“Ask Namine,” I say, pause, then correct myself, “Kairi. She has all of Namine’s memories, so if there was someone else, Nami—Kairi would know, right? She’s the only one who can’t be affected by her own magic.”

“Yeah… yeah! I’ll ask Kairi!”

“Hey, are you two done? Master Yen Sid wants to speak to you.” Riku stands in the doorway, and even though his voice is kinda gruff, he’s smiling at Sora. Even just looking at the damn Kid makes everyone happy. It must be some sort of weird magical aura or something.

“Yeah, we’ll be right there!” he shouts, and Riku shakes his head before going back inside. Sora holds up his hand, pinky extended.

“I promise we’ll find a way to help them all!” he says, and I laugh, linking my own finger with his.

Six.

The last three weeks Isa spent at the castle was like an unwinding of the first five months of his stay.

The pair of princes no longer talked. They no longer slept in the same room. Isa no longer attended classes with Lea after he stopped by one last time to bid farewell to the scholar.

Instead, Isa stayed at the library. He didn’t even sit at his favorite place. He stayed at a corner with a window facing the forest, filling his time by reading.But he couldn’t enjoy even a second of it.

Since they weren’t together in classes, Isa was able to time when to have lunch so he wouldn’t have to eat with Lea. If they did chance upon each other, they ate in silence. Neither bothered to look up from their food to acklowledge the other’s presence.

Isa did as much as he could to completely disorient himself from the routine he had fallen into with the redhead.

***

“It’s their first lover’s quarrel.” The castle staff joked. It was the only way they could make light of the situation, in hopes of cheering themselves up. The kingdom’s townspeople had heard of the two princes having a falling out, too. The townspeople whom Lea and Isa spent a lot of time with, like Carmela and Wilbert, were even more worried.

It seemed like the whole Kingdom of the Sun wished and prayed things would turn out for the better between the two princes.

***

Lea busied himself with his studies so he wouldn’t have time to think about Isa. He avoided the library, much like what he used to do before Isa came to their kingdom, and spent more time in his room when he needed to study his lessons. However, it still proved difficult to not think of Isa.

Lea remembered him through his lessons because it was Isa who gave him tips how to remember things easier. He remembered Isa sitting across him in the dining room and the glances they exchanged whenever they ate together. He remembered the way Isa’s boots echoed a steady rhythm through the hallways as they walked around.

Isa was everywhere to him.

Isa was everything to him.

The Sun prince knew he had to figure out a way to tell this to Isa.

***

On Isa’s last night before he went back to the Kingdom of Flowers, Lea stood outside the blue haired boy’s room door. He had tried going there the past few nights. He tried to work up the courage to knock and find the right words to say, but neither came. When he came to that door that night, he had a bouquet of flowers in hand instead of words stuck in his throat. It was a bouquet of the same flowers he tried to give Isa on the day they reunited. A bouquet of sweet, nostalgic memories. Lea hoped it would help melt Isa’s cold exterior again, so that when Lea admitted his feelings, they would go through to Isa.

“Prince Lea!” called a castle staff to Lea’s right. She was holding onto a basket of clothes. Lea could tell from the few pieces of cloth hanging out of the basket that they were Isa’s. “What are you doing here?” She gasped, then leaned in toward Lea to whisper. “Are you coming to make up with Prince Isa?”

“Cheska! I—uhm, uh,” Lea stuttered, his nerves getting to him. He nodded yes when he still couldn't find words to say.

“That’s great! I will just get these inside and then tell him you are here, okay? Please wait a moment.” Cheska reached for the doorknob. Lea’s heart started thumping louder in his chest in excitement to see Isa again and talk to him again. His nerves, however, got the better of him, so before Cheska could turn the door fully open, he blocked her way.

“No, no, no! I-it’s okay. Just—hand him this.” Lea put his bouquet of flowers on top of the basket the staff held. “And uh, tell him I’m—Tell him I can’t see him off tomorrow, and—”

At that moment, they both heard Isa speaking through the door. His steps got louder the closer he walked toward it.

“Cheska, is that you? Have you got my clothes?”

The moment Isa opened his room door, only Cheska stood in front of him, holding his basket of clothes and a bouquet of flowers lying on top of it.

“Good evening, Prince Isa.” Cheska bowed, laughing nervously afterwards.

“Good evening. What’s this?” Isa took the bouquet of flowers off the basket.

“It’s from Prince Lea, your highness.”

“Hmm,” Isa stared at the bouquet. He stepped to the side so Cheska could come into his room and help pack the last of his clothes. “He… didn’t bring it here himself?”

Cheska struggled if she should answer the question or not. She wasn’t sure if Prince Lea would appreciate her revealing to Prince Isa that he was, in fact, standing outside the door with her. That is, until Prince Lea ran away with all his might the moment he heard Prince Isa speak.

Taking pity on Prince Isa’s lonesome face, Cheska replied, “He wanted me to tell you that he cannot see you off tomorrow. I’m not sure why, but I’m certain he has reason to—”

“I see. It’s alright. You don’t have to defend him, Cheska.” Isa commented, his voice monotonous. “If he doesn’t want to see me, he doesn’t have to see me. That’s that.”

Isa left the bouquet on top of a table and didn’t bother to look at it twice.

His plan had succeeded. Lea wasn’t going to see him off, which meant Lea has probably gotten over him by now or that Lea has gotten over Isa no longer having any interest in him. Lea himself will call the engagement off, which would be proper since he was the one who started it in the first place.

Isa wondered if he could ever see Lea again once the engagement was called off.

It hurt to realize he might never see the redhead again. But it was better this way, he convinced himself.

It will hurt less to not see Lea, than see him loving someone else.

==========

On the morning Isa left the Kingdom of the Sun, Lea wasn’t there to see him off. It was just as Cheska said the night before.

Isa didn’t know what he was expecting. He shouldn’t have made himself hope that Lea would still turn up to see him off, despite their squabble these past few weeks. But he wanted to get one last look at Lea before he left.

Perhaps this was for the better, Isa convinced himself. He’d been doing a lot of convincing himself recently that it was easy to convince himself so.

After Isa bid goodbye to the king and queen at the throne room, he rode the carriage and headed home. When the carriage passed through the town proper, he stuck his head and arm out of the carriage to wave goodbye to the people he grew familiar with. He would surely miss spending time with the people in this kingdom. He made a mental note to make sure he would start doing the same with his people once he got back.

Once he got back…

Once he got back, what was he supposed to do?

Isa sighed. Not wanting to feel more lonely than he already was feeling, he forced himself to fall asleep.

***

As with other times Isa arrived home from a trip to another kingdom, he first went to his garden to check on his flowers. He walked toward his destination slowly, not having the energy to do much of anything.

Lea was out of his grasp now. That was starting to sink in. It made him regret not making the best out of his last few weeks with Lea. It made him regret pushing Lea away.

When the blue haired boy took his first step onto the grass of his garden, he froze on the spot. He was shocked to see a tall boy with fiery red hair standing in the middle of his garden. It wasn’t possible for the redhead to be there. Was Isa hallucinating? But he looked so real.

The redhead turned to face him. He looked at Isa with his sincere, emerald eyes as purple flower petals fell from the large tree above him. A huge grin was plastered on his goofy face. It reminded Isa of that day ten years ago when he first saw him. Green eyes that shined like the blue sea he dreamed of seeing. A smile that could rival the brightness of the sun. A hand reached out to him, inviting him out of his lonesome darkness.

“I don’t understand…” Isa shook his head as he approached the person in his garden. “How?”

“Didn’t Cheska tell you?” The redhead grinned, his teeth showing and his eyes squinting. Just the way that made Isa’s heart skip beats. “I wouldn’t be there to see you off.”

Isa scoffed. “Because you’d be here to welcome me back?”

“Exactly.” The person held up a finger, expressing his point. Just like he usually would.

Isa stopped right in front of the redhead that never failed to put his feelings in disarray.

It was Lea.

Isa couldn’t understand how Lea could be standing right here before him when Isa had convinced himself he would never see the redhead again. A lump formed in his throat as his eyes started to sting. Tears threatened to fall from his eyes when Lea reached for his cheek and caressed it with his fingers.  The Flower prince realized then just how much he missed Lea. His smile. His touch. His very presence.

A soft breeze flew past them, making Isa’s hair flow with it. Lea brushed a strand of hair off Isa’s face. He took a flower from a nearby bush and tucked it in behind his ear to keep it from falling back.

“How did you get here before me?”

“I was in the carriage in front of you.”

“Where all my luggage was?” Isa scoffed again, this time in disbelief. “Why do this in this roundabout way?”

“Well, a certain someone wouldn’t listen to me no matter what I did, so I figured I’d play along.” Lea playfully rolled his eyes. He winced in pain when Isa punched his arm, then, grinned again. “I’m kidding. Anyhow, it worked for the best. I had to make you think of how much you’d miss me, right?” He winked.

“You’re so obnoxious.” Isa punched the other on the chest.

“Obnoxiously amazing? Smart? Handsome?”

“No, just obnoxious.” Isa chuckled, trying to not let the tears that stung his eye from falling. Lea had foiled his plans, and his emotions had gone on a roller coaster ride over and over, and yet Isa couldn’t be happier. His heart fluttered in his chest, rather than scratch against his ribcage in pain the way it did the past few weeks. “I hate you so much.”

“I know, I know.” Lea laughed, scratching the back of his neck. He looked to the side once, then looked back into Isa’s eyes as he said, “I’ll just keep loving you until you love me back.”

Lea saw Isa’s face flash one emotion after another: surprise, flattery, then feigned calmness. Lea pulled on Isa’s arm, while a wide grin found its way onto his face. He wrapped his arms around Isa’s waist and pulled the other close. He continued, whispering in the blue haired boy’s ear. “Do you want me to say it again?”

“Say whatever it is you want. I don’t care.” Isa said, feigning anger this time, as he dug his face unto Lea’s clothes. His voice muffled against the cloth. Lea wondered if Isa was smiling against his shoulder.

“I love you, Isa.” Lea whispered directly into the other’s ear. He said it with as much sweetness as he could. “And I’m sorry for taking this long to say it.”

“How can you be so sure?” Isa pulled his head from Lea’s shoulder, though he didn’t pull away from Lea’s embrace. He looked into the other’s eyes as he continued, “It’s only been half a year. How can you be so sure that you love me now? That you’ll love me next year? And the next?”

Lea looked away for a moment, testing the words in his mind before he spoke again. “I won’t say things like that, Isa. I won’t say I’ll love you forever.” He paused then. Noticing the hurt on Isa’s face, he caressed Isa’s cheeks and squeezed them so Isa wouldn’t cry. “But I promise you,” Lea kissed him on the forehead. “Every day we spend from here onwards,” Lea kissed him on the cheek. “I will make sure I show you my love for you.” Lea kissed Isa gently on the lips then, tasting the other’s sweet lips. “I don’t know if I can love you forever, but I want to do my best to. It’s probably not enough of an assurance. I’m sorry. Isa. Is that still okay?”

Lea looked at Isa with so much hope in his eyes, Isa had to look away. He breathed in deeply, and replied, “I’ll do the same.” He looked into Lea’s eyes then. “This isn’t a one-way thing after all. You and me—we’re partners for life.” He wrapped his arms around Lea and hugged him tight. “We’ll work on our problems together, and celebrate all the happy things together, too.”

Lea chuckled, hugging the blue haired tight. “Sounds good.”

Isa couldn’t believe it. After weeks of worrying about this, here the redhead was—brushing away his insecurities, doubts, and fears again. There had to be a catch. Maybe this, too, was a dream.

“This isn’t a dream?” Isa asked a few moments after they hugged. “I won’t wake up to find out none of this is real?”

Lea laughed. The way he always did, more with his heart than with his lungs. Even with just that laughter, with the way it echoed in his ears, Isa could tell this was not a dream. His dreams could never do justice to the reality of Lea’s laughter.

The Sun prince made his forehead touch the other’s as he spoke. “Maybe I should take you to your bed just to check if you’re already lying down on it, dreaming all this up.”

“Stop inviting yourself onto my bed.” Isa said, playfully rolling his eyes in feint irritation.

“Would you rather I invite you to mine?” Lea laughed.

Isa blushed furiously, much like he did every time Lea made such advances. He pushed Lea away so he could punch Lea on the arm again, but this time the redhead successfully evaded it.

When Lea reached his hand out to Isa, Isa took it without hesitation.

“Promise me you won’t try to leave again.” Lea squeezed Isa’s hand tight.

“We can pinky swear to it.” Isa smirked.

Lea grinned wide. “I’d rather seal it with a kiss.”

In the middle of the flower-filled paradise, Lea kissed Isa. The boy whom he fell for ten years ago and made him fall even further in the past six months. The boy who made his heart beat fast, who made him feel so happy. Isa, the boy who made apple tarts that tasted like love. The one Lea loved and loved him in return.

They were wed. The united thei kingdoms. They never let each other go again.

Five.

At the start of Isa's fifth month in the kingdom, there was a huge celebration in town. They were celebrating what they called the Fire Festival, where the town would make a large bonfire at the middle of the town square at night, dance around it, and simply enjoy each other's company. It was to celebrate successful harvest despite the vexing heat of the summer sun and to pray for more luck the next harvest season.

Lea took Isa to town that night in simple thin robes Lea bought from a merchant that came from the far, far east. They were called 'yukata', the merchant explained. It was suitable to wear in the warm heat of summer, and very comfortable, too. Isa's was blue with circular purple and violet designs, with a green sash to keep it in place, while Lea's was orange with yellow squares, the same yellow as the sash that kept his outfit in place. They wore slippers made out of straw.

The King and Queen didn't take part in the festivities. Their only contribution was the supplying of wood for the bonfire and drinks for the men, which the townspeople had to pick up from a neighboring kingdom.

Lea had been attending the festival every year since he was three years old, Isa heard from Carmela, who sat next to him in front of her shop at the Town Plaza. In the past month, Lea and Isa frequented the town more that Isa was able to associate names with faces. Carmela made great pancakes. He and Lea sometimes came to her place for breakfast when they woke up early enough to sneak past the guards.

That night, Carmela told him many stories about Lea, some he'd heard before from others, some he'd just heard from her. Children were giggling behind him as Carmela continued sharing her stories, grabbing her children to wipe the sweat off her children's backs whenever they ran in front of her. She talked about how the prince had always been cheerful—with a smile anyone would expect from a kingdom hailed with the sun's radiance, how lonely the prince was when the King and Queen went away for negotiations though he tried not to show, how friendly the prince had always been with different people despite age or gender. Isa listened intently to every story, watching Lea from across the town square where he was drinking with Wilbert and the others, hoping Lea's was just grape juice and not wine.

Blue-green eyes locked with green for a moment. It sent a ticklish feelingthrough their bodies. Feeling giddy Isa was watching him, Lea threw him a flying kiss. The rest of the boys he was drinking with howled and whistled at the gesture, while Isa felt the need to hide away in embarrassment.

"You didn't catch it!" Lea shouted across the square, over the burning bonfire. "Should I send you another one?"

"Keep your sloppy kisses to yourself!" Isa shouted, a small smile playing at the side of his lips. He was thankful for the bonfire that separated them so Lea wouldn't notice he was blushing again, for the thousandth time, at Lea's embarrassing antics.

"Ayyye, heard that? Our Prince kisses sloppy." One of the men said. Isa wondered if it was Mario, but among the buzzing of various people talking around him, he couldn't tell anymore. Then they all laughed. Lea was protesting that they hadn't kissed yet, which many were shocked about. They continued to kid around, saying things like how modest their Prince Lea was and how he didn't have to be shy to admit that they already had kissed. Isa was just glad they didn't see it as a chance to tease them and make them kiss right then and there.

The party continued even after the mothers sent their children off to bed. Many of the men were still awake, merrymaking and delighting at all the food and booze that was still available.

Isa didn't move from his spot the whole time. Though Lea went from house to house at some point, Isa didn't bother tracking him down. He figured the redhead would have gone all over town that night.

Various mothers and single women alike came up to Isa and talked gladly with him about various topics—Lea, the Kingdom of Flowers, their daily lives. They even complimented him and his beautiful hair, too. The women kept supplying him food and drink when it seemed he was running out, which he thanked each of them for.

Hours passed and the number of people awake dwindled down to a mere handful. Isa still sat at his place in front of Carmela's shop, a cup of warm hot chocolate in hand, given to him by one of the mothers still awake, Laura, who sat beside him. The bonfire was still burning at the center of the square, albeit with less flare than it had hours ago.

Isa watched quietly as Lea discussed seemingly more serious matters with the few men still awake from across the square. They still had drinks in hand. The blue haired boy sighed, wondering how in the world he could get Lea back to the castle at his state. He was glad the festival was held on a Friday, giving him and Lea the chance to catch up on sleep the following day.

The more time passed, the more difficult it was for Isa to stay awake. Staring at the low flame of the bonfire, Isa slowly drifted off to sleep.

***

Isa wasn't sure for how long he was asleep before he was woken up by cold fingers brushing his cheeks.

"You can't sleep here, Isa," said a familiar voice that made his heart skip and his chest feel warm and fuzzy. Isa hadn't opened his eyes yet, but he knew it was Lea.

Lea took the chair beside him, inched it so close he almost slammed it unto Isa's chair, and sat down. He then gently guided Isa’s head so he could lean it on his shoulder.

Isa may not have noticed, but Lea, too, had been watching him the whole night.

He saw how animated Isa's face was as other women talked to him, which made him a little jealous. He saw how kind he was to the children that braided flowers in his hair, thanking each of them with kisses to their cheeks before they ran away to play again, which, too, made him jealous. He saw how Isa was able to keep Lea in his view despite looking somewhere else, how lost Isa looked when he realized Lea was no longer at the bar with the boys and how relief took over his face soon after when he spotted Lea waving at him.

"Then we better head back to the castle soon," Isa said as he let the weight of his head fall onto Lea's shoulder. The redhead moved positions again then, this time wrapping his arms around Isa so the blue haired boy could rest his head on his chest. "I don't think I can hang on for much longer."

"Aww, but the party's just started! We can't go back yet." Lea laughed. He looked down at Isa, who's eyes were still closed, and brushed loose strands of hair off of Isa's face and tucked them behind his ear.

Lea had never been this close to Isa before, even in the past few weeks that Isa started adjusting to his physical displays of affection. That night, Isa was so, so close. He looked beautiful—Isa always was—in the faint, yellow glow of the bonfire's flames. Lea trailed his fingers from Isa's ear, to his cheeks to his chin. He gulped. Isa's lips were so, so close.

Lea wanted to kiss him then and there.

But before he could, Isa laughed weakly, drowsy with sleep, "You'll have to figure out a way to get back to the castle by yourself then."

Though a bit disappointed he couldn't kiss the other, he replied kiddingly, "Says the guy who's already falling asleep right here."

"I'm not—" Isa opened his eyes and tilted his head to look at Lea. He stopped midsentence as soon as he was met with the view of Lea's smile illuminated by the bonfire's flames, his shining green eyes that sparkled in the flames’ glow, and the millions of stars that decorated the night sky. Isa could hear the drumming of his heart beat faster once Lea widened his smile even further, showing his teeth and squinting his eyes.

Isa loved it when Lea smiled like that. It was evident in how Isa’s breath got stuck in his throat, his chest clenching, and a certain, bubbly warmth spreading from his stomach, extending to the rest of his body.

Lea continued to brush his fingers across Isa's cheeks then, and Isa wondered if Lea was going to kiss him. He really wished Lea would. He wanted to feel just how warm, sweet and soft Lea's lips really were, after all these months of wondering. He was once too shy to be physically affectionate with Lea, even though he had wanted to hold hands and do things people who loved each other did. He wanted to grab Lea by the back of his neck to pull him down and kiss him, but Lea spoke again.

"Not what? What is it?" Lea said when he noticed Isa was staring too long at him, shaking Isa out of his thoughts. "Are you cold?"

"Because of your fingers, yes." Isa laughed again, still weakly. He was so tired he hadn’t realized he was no longer holding onto his cup of hot chocolate. Isa took Lea's hands and blew his warm breath on them. When they seemed warm enough, Isa placed the other's hands on his cheeks. "There, much better."

Lea was surprised at Isa's actions. Isa wasn’t normally this hyped with skin contact. He chuckled in delight, then leaned down to kiss Isa on the forehead—though he missed and kissed in between Isa's eyebrows instead. He let his hands slide down from Isa's cheeks, down his neck and unto Isa’s shoulders. He then whispered in Isa's ear, "Would you warm up the rest of my body then?"

Greatly surprised at the terribly embarrassing line and the lustful tone it came with, Isa suddenly pushed Lea away, making the other fall off his chair. Lea laughed out loud as he lied on the floor. He sat up to face Isa, "Was that too much?"

Isa, not able to form a word though he very much wanted to scream at Lea, nodded yes.

"I'm sorry." Lea stood up, a few more tiny bouts of laughter still finding their way out his mouth. He bowed toward Isa and extended a hand toward him. "Shall we go?"

Isa then remembered the time they first met again after a decade spent apart. He remembered the irritation of Lea having mistaken him for a girl all these years, the disappointment that came with it, and the relief of Lea promising to be with him (although as a best friend) despite all that. Months had passed since then, and though they promised to be, both could sense they were no longer treating each other as mere "best friends". Or at least, that’s what Isa had hoped.

Isa breathed, feeling the weight of the hand filled with promises, wishes and dreams, just by looking at it. He wondered if it really was alright to take it, but what consequences could await them if he did, when they were already promised to wed? Brushing his uncertainty away, Isa took Lea's hand. Lea helped him up.

Lea then guided Isa toward the bonfire, stopping at a distance where they could feel the warmth of the low fire.

"You said we were leaving."

Lea held Isa close by the arms, whispering in the other’s ear, "Just one dance,"

Isa dug his face into Lea’s shoulder to hide from embarrassment again. “I—I don’t know how to dance anything except for The Waltz. The guy’s part, mind you.”

Lea laughed softly. “That’s alright. We just need to do this.” Lea pushed Isa away slightly so he could take Isa’s hands in his. He guided them behind his neck, making sure Isa had locked his fingers there. Lea then wrapped his arms around Isa’s waist. This position brought their faces closer to one another, so close that they could feel each other’s breaths on their skin. Their noses almost bumped, but didn’t.

Lea then started swinging his arms. He guided their hips to move in a slow, lulling dance. They stayed in place, just leaning from one foot to the other, swaying their hips to Lea’s rhythm. The pair couldn’t help giggling, a fluffy warmth forming in their chests.

Their foreheads touched, then Isa muttered. “Alright. Just one dance.”

***

"Today was really nice." Isa started.

After one dance, they started to walk back to the castle, just as Lea promised. Their pinkies were intertwined as they walked, swaying their arms slightly back and forth to the rhythm of their steps. "I'm glad you invited me."

"Well, you better look forward to bringing me home like this every year from now on." Lea joked. Although he was kidding, Isa was flattered at the hints of forever in Lea's words.

"I'll prepare myself."

Upon reaching the castle, they both headed toward Isa's room. Lea invited himself to sleep over, claiming he was too tired to go all the way to his room, when in truth he just didn't want to let go of Isa's finger. They lied on bed facing each other, not bothering to change clothes or brush their teeth because they were simply out of energy. Isa lied on the left, Lea on the right. They looked at each other before going to sleep, seemingly waiting for the other to fall asleep first.

"You'll become a great king, Lea." Isa spoke, after a long moment of silence. The overwhelming awe for Lea—how much he loved his people, and how the people love him in return—rushed to him then. He smiled at the glee reflected in Lea's eyes, then continued after a deep breath. "You'll lead this kingdom and its people into a more prosperous, radiant kingdom than it already is."

"You mean I'll be a greater king than King Lee the Eighth? My great, great, great, great. No wait, let me count this." The redhead counted with his fingers with every 'great' he mentioned. "My great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather?"

Isa laughed at the many greats Lea had to say, and also at the delight in his chest because Lea did remember his passionate musing about King Lee the Eighth in one of his early days at the kingdom. "Yes, Lea. You'll be the best king there ever was."

Isa soon closed his eyes after, sleep getting the better of him. He was drifting off to the land of dreams when he felt warm breath on his face and something soft touching his lips. He slowly opened his eyes to find a pair of twinkling green eyes staring right back at him, the tip of his nose touching his. Lea's warm breath was on his face. Their closed distance made Isa's heart beat faster.

Lea leaned in again, this time placing his hand behind Isa’s neck, pulling Isa’s face closer to his. He pressed his warm lips on Isa’s cold lips—once, twice, again and again until he lost count, until Isa’s lips had become as warm as his. They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, their breaths in perfect rhythm, hearts racing in their chests and drumming in their ears. Lea leaned in one more time. Isa leaned in, too, to meet him half way. He was pulling Lea closer by the hem of his yukata as if Lea wasn’t close enough. They pressed their lips together. Lea tasted Isa’s lips with the tip of his tongue this time. Isa let Lea map out his lips before parting them, letting the red-haired prince explore his mouth with his tongue slowly.

Isa could taste the grape juice in Lea's mouth. He delighted in both its sweetness and the fact that Lea hadn't drunk himself silly after all, despite his worries earlier that night. He relished in the warmth of Lea's body pressed against his and wrapped his arms around Lea, his hands gripping Lea’s back. Lea took pleasure in Isa's chocolate taste. He had imagined this kiss countless times before and never had he thought it would feel this magical. His heart beat louder in his ears as he continued passionately kissing Isa. He was even more enthralled when Isa tightly gripped onto his clothes, hoping that meant Isa was taking pleasure from it, too.

The more they kissed, the sweeter it became—a taste that was neither grape nor chocolate. A certain warmth settled in their chests.

They let each other go only when it was getting too difficult to breathe.

"So... Did I kiss sloppy?" Lea in between ragged breaths.

"Hmm, could do better next time."

"Can I try again now?"

Isa laughed sleepily before pulling Lea into another kiss.

==========

Lea awoke to Isa's sleeping face, a morning glow cast upon it by the few rays of sunlight that came in from the window. Birds chirped outside, and they complimented the smooth, steady pattern of Isa's breathing. While Lea stared gleefully at Isa, he noticed Isa's bare shoulder, uncovered by Isa's loosened clothes. Lea and Isa couldn't get as far as Lea had wanted last night. Isa was very tired, after all, and he didn't want to speed things up too quickly when they were finally making much progress. The redhead figured he was mightily content with last night's bouts of kisses, but the smooth, tempting shoulder made him think otherwise.

Lea wanted to pull the offending clothes off to feel all over Isa's smooth skin, touch Isa in areas no one ever had, kiss him drunk silly, and pour all his love and affection into him. When the redhead was starting to feel uncomfortable in his nether regions, Lea thought it best to leave while Isa was asleep to take care of this morning problem.

What was even more problematic is that now that he'd had a taste of Isa, how can he stop himself from then on?

***

Isa awoke to disappointment. Lea wasn't there beside him when he woke up.

He immediately started formulating his reprimand to Lea about Not Leaving Your Partner After a Wonderfully Good Night (and Kiss). Before he could leave his bed out of frustration, Lea emerged from the bedroom door.

"Oh, Isa. You're awake." Lea beamed. He was still in his clothes from last night, albeit more disheveled than Isa remembered. The redhead looked a bit embarrassed as he rushed toward the bed with a large piece of cloth in hand, and plopped unto the soft mattress. "I was waiting for you to wake up, but you were taking long. I figured you were tired so I thought I should let you sleep. And that when you woke up, we could eat breakfast together in bed!"

The redhead set the cloth on the bed and slowly opened it, hoping no crumbs fall unto Isa's sheets, and revealed a fresh batch of apple tarts. They hadn't had the chance to eat apple tarts in the past month. Isa wondered whether Lea took this without Carla knowing or if Carla gave it to him willingly, but another thought pushed that away.

This was unfair.

Was Isa not allowed to get mad at Lea for even two seconds?

==========

Since the night of the festival, Lea spent every night at Isa's room. Rumors spread throughout the castle about how the two princes started to sleep together. Some claim they hear the bed thumping loud at night. Some claim they wrestled around under the sheets until the wee hours of the morning making love.

The staff’s imagination could run more wild, but the simple truth was that the pair of princes simply slept beside each other, enjoying each other’s company. The thumping noises were caused by Lea jumping on the bed, when he couldn’t fall asleep and tried to keep Isa awake with him. The rustling sheets were, indeed, caused by them literally wrestling on the bed. However, they wrestled not while making love, but for who gets to sneak into the kitchen to get food for their breakfast in bed the next morning.

Most mornings, Isa woke up before Lea did. Sometimes he would wake up to Lea’s sleeping face. Sometimes he would wake up facing the window from which the first rays of sunlight passed through the slits between curtains. When that happened, he tried his utter best to turn himself around without moving the bed too much so he could face Lea. At such times, he would watch Lea sleep until the redhead woke up.

Isa was delighted that Lea turned out not being as much of a loud snorer as he thought he would. Either that or, as Lea predicted, Isa had gotten used to Lea’s snores. Regardless of his snores, Isa loved how peaceful Lea looked as he slept. When awake, the redhead always bustled with energy, but when he slept, he was as serene as the calm setting of the sun. Lea always told Isa he was beautiful, but Isa realized he could say the same about Lea, too.

On one such morning, Isa hadn’t realized he was staring so intently at Lea that he had closed the distance between them. He only realized how close he was to the other when his nose bumped the other’s cheek. The blue haired boy slightly jolted in surprise, in turn shaking the bed, which eventually woke Lea up.

Once Lea furrowed his eyebrows, Isa knew the redhead was about to wake up. He was inching away from the redhead when long arms caught him, wrapping around his torso.

“Don’t,” spoke Lea in a very groggy voice, barely any louder than a whisper. He wrapped his arms tighter around Isa to keep him close. When he could feel that Isa was no longer pulling away from him, he chuckled and grinned. He entangled his legs around Isa’s. “Good morning, Isa.”

“Good morning, Lea.” Isa spoke,  his words muffled. His dug his face into Lea’s shoulder. Their torsos pushed against each other as Lea hugged him tighter and tighter. Although Isa wanted to let Lea keep hugging him since he was delighted at the warmth Lea shared with him, but it was getting difficult to breathe. “C-can’t—breathe…”

The redhead loosened his grip around Isa to give him air to breathe, only to hug the blue haired boy again tightly.

“Isa’s so warm.” Lea whispered into the other’s ear. Then he rubbed his face into Isa’s neck, making the other jolt at the electric waves Lea’s touches sent through his body.

“L-lea,” Isa whined, which came out more like a whimper. “That’s tickling me—“

Lea trailed kisses from Isa’s ear to his cheek, then rained kisses all over the blue haired’s face. He figured he could never get tired of kissing Isa like this. His mind wandered off to how they would be, years from now, years after they had been wed. How much lovelier could his mornings get when he could wake up next to Isa, and show him how he felt, first thing in the morning?

Lea didn’t stop kissing the other until Isa finally gave in to that day’s first sweet display of affection. They briefly pressed their lips together before saying one more “good morning” to each other.

“We should get out of bed soon.” Isa tried to push Lea away so he could get out of bed, but the other still wouldn’t budge. He raised his head to try to see if he could tell the time on the clock on his room, but Lea’s head was blocking his view.

“We’ll get out eventually.”

Isa grunted. Lea lowered his arms down Isa’s torso. “We have classes today.”

“All the more reason to stay in bed. Ow—“ Lea remarked when Isa pinched his cheek.

“We should get out of bed.” Isa repeated.

“Only after a morning kiss from you.”

“Didn’t you get that already?”

“That didn’t count. Only kisses from this point on count.”

Isa chuckled. “Get out of bed, brush your teeth, and fix up for class; then, maybe I’ll give you more than a kiss.”

“Deal.” Lea quickly sat up, making Isa laugh softly at how easily Lea could be convinced by kisses, or more than kisses for that matter, though Isa himself wasn’t sure what qualified as ‘more than a kiss’ yet.

Before Lea got off the bed, he looked back at the side of the bed where Isa lied. The redhead leaned down to kiss Isa one more time on the forehead before he headed to the bathroom to fix himself up.

==========

There had been a full week when Isa refused to have lunch with Lea. The blue haired boy claimed he had some more questions to ask the scholar, Even. Lea offered to stay with him, but Isa convinced him to go on and eat lunch without him.

On the Friday of that week, Isa missed lessons in the morning, which made Lea all the more suspicious.

His doubt cleared, however, come lunch that Friday.

On his dessert plate were apple tarts, but they didn’t look as clean cut as Carla’s usual ones. The apples were unevenly cut, and the tarts weren’t equally shaped. They weren’t even in circles. They were—Were they actually in heart shapes?

Lea looked over at Isa, then, catching the gleeful hint in the blue haired boy’s eyes.

“Did you make this for me, Isa?” Lea spoke with so much glee, eyes wide and lips curved from ear to ear.

Isa smirked at him. “I promised you something more than a kiss, right?”

Before Isa could finish his sentence, Lea had ran around the table to hug him tightly.

“Thank you, Isa! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Lea kissed all over his face, which he had grown so fond of doing. “These are going to be the sweetest apple tarts I’d ever eat.”

“Just eat them up already before I shove them down your throat.”

Lea kissed Isa one more time before heading back to his chair to eat the apple tarts that tasted sweeter than ever before. He had to pause at one point to wonder: was this what love tasted like?

==========

On a certain night near the end of Isa’s fifth month of staying at the Kingdom, Isa was still awake reading a book. He had taken a book that he liked reading from the library. He wasn’t intending to take it out of the library, since he didn’t mind the habit of going to the library every weekend to read a few pages, or read most of the book while Lea was still asleep, but Lea had suggested he take it.

Isa wondered if it was because Lea didn’t want to stay cooped up in the library for too long anymore. The thought distracted him while he was reading through a page. It made him chuckle.

“Is the book that interesting?” Lea asked. Isa turned his head to the left to look at the redhead. Only then did he notice Lea was seated so close to him.

The redhead was leaning on Isa’s left arm, his right arm brushing against Isa’s left. His gaze was affixed on the book, like he was trying to read along with Isa. From the way his eyes were squinted, however, it seemed Lea couldn’t read any of the words from the angle he read.

“What made you ask about the book so suddenly?”

“Well, you always seem so absorbed in reading, particularly that book.“ Lea leaned in closer to whisper in Isa’s ear. “And you didn’t even notice my hand was on your thigh, so—“

Isa quickly pushed the hand on his thigh away once he noticed how close it was getting to his more private parts. “Lea. You really— Why have you gotten so perverted lately?”

Lea laughed out loud, as he always did, like he was laughing more with his heart than with his lungs. “If it’s any consolation, I’m only like that toward you, Isa.” The redhead winked before laughing again.

“Please throw your trash compliments off that cliff outside.”

“Can’t I whisper them into your ear instead?” Isa tried to push him off the bed, a flattered, crooked grin on his face. Lea caught hold of his arms before Isa could successfully push him off the bed. However, Isa continued to use Lea’s grip on his arms to try to push the redhead off the bed. “Alright, alright, alright, I’ll stop.” Lea chuckled once more. When Isa tried to retrieve his arms from Lea, Lea pulled him close and kissed him quickly on the lips.

“I don’t know what to do with you.” Isa whispered against Lea’s lips.

“You can do me instead.” Lea was about to laugh again when Isa hit him with his thick book. “Oww, that hurt.”

“You still weren’t shutting up, so I was trying to make you fall sleep.”

“I can only fall asleep in your loving embrace, Isa.” Lea sang the last syllable. He opened his arms wide to embrace the other, but Isa put his hand on the redhead’s face before Lea could embrace him.

“Your teasing has gotten so much worse recently.”

“Only because Isa keeps getting more and more beautiful every day,” Lea pulled down Isa’s hand from his face, then, smiled genuinely at the blue haired boy. “I won’t ever stop raining compliments on you, Isa.”

Isa couldn’t tell if he was starting to feel hot in his cheeks because Lea was so ingloriously embarrassing or because he was honestly just that flattered.

“Ahh, finally. It’s been a while since you last blushed.” Lea commented as Isa hid his face behind his book. “Aww, come on, let me see your face.”

When the blue haired boy wouldn’t let go of the book, Lea kissed Isa’s knuckles so he would let go of the book. Isa finally obliged tens of kisses later, his face redder than Lea had ever seen.

“I hate you so much.”

The seemingly weightless comment sent a pang to Lea’s chest. He knew Isa didn’t mean it. He’d already said it countless times before, when Lea seemed to be going too far with his jokes. This time, however, hearing Isa say it hurt as if barbwires had tightened around his lungs.

It made it difficult for Lea to say “I love you”, instead, in order to clear the pain away.

In reply, Lea simply smiled, leaned down and planted a kiss on Isa’s lips.

==========

When Isa woke up, Lea was not beside him.

He searched the castle high and low, but he could not find any trace of Lea. Nor of anyone.

He was alone.

He went to the throne room to check if the King and Queen were there at least. There, he saw someone—not King James—seated at the throne of the King. With intentions of telling the person off, he quickly approached the throne. His feet froze, however, when he was only a few feet away from it. From where he stood, he recognized the emerald eyes of the man on the throne that stared at him coldly.

“Lea?”

“Isa,” Lea smiled, though one that was unfamiliar to him. It was a cold smile—flat and unwelcoming. It didn’t fit Lea’s face at all. Isa shuddered at how eerie it felt seeing Lea smile like that. “It’s so nice of you to drop by.”

“W-what is going on? Why isn’t anybody—“ Isa tried to approach Lea. But at the moment he did, at the corner of his eye, he saw the woman that occupied the Queen’s throne. There sat a girl whose face was blotched by static. It was as if she had no face at all.

“This is my queen, Isa.”

Isa’s heart started thundering in his chest, sending pulses to his brain that made his head hurt. It became very hard for him to breathe, like every breath scratched nails against his lungs. It was as if a million people grabbed his lungs and gripped them hard.

This must be a dream. This had to be a nightmare.

“We were wed while you were away.” Lea continued, monotonous. He sat still on his throne. His voice echoed through the empty hall, the vibrations intensifying Isa’s headache. The words bounced off the walls like they had no intention of trailing off.

“No.” Isa shook his head. His sight was blurring. “No, you wouldn’t do that. No.“

“I realized I couldn’t marry someone I didn’t love.”

“Stop.” Isa covered his ears, his eyes. He wanted to shut everything out. Nothing in this dream was good. He wanted to wake up so badly.

“I realized I didn’t love you after all.”

“Shut up! This is a dream!” Isa shouted, his voice becoming hoarse, his throat becoming more painful with every syllable. “Shut up! Shut up!”

Lea frowned. The shine in his emerald eyes slowly faded as he started to disappear into thin air. “I can never love you like that, Isa.”

“STOP!” Isa woke up, screaming. His night robes had stuck unto his skin. Cold sweat covered his body.. His heart drummed fast in his chest, and he could feel acid coming up, like he wanted to regurgitate the poison he could taste deep down his throat.

When he looked to his left, Lea wasn’t there.

Isa wished so badly that Lea would come into the room any moment soon with some apple tarts in hand.

==========

Since the nightmare, Isa couldn’t act the same around Lea. It had poisoned him with doubt and uncertainty.

No matter how sweet the words Lea said to him or how delicate the touches Lea laid on him, he couldn’t hear or feel them as what they were.

From the dream, he concluded that his precious time spent with Lea were times he could enjoy albeit temporarily. These happy moments will all be taken away eventually—when Lea ends up falling in love with someone else.

Someone better. Someone more suited to him. His actual, future queen.

Lea might think he had fallen in love with Isa for now. The redhead might only have been convinced as such because of how much time the two princes spent together these past few months. It was easy to fall for someone one was normally with, Isa figured. With time and distance separating them, it would be easy to fall out of love, too. He couldn’t trust the bond he formed with the Sun prince these past five months. Not when he could still feel the terrifying chills he felt in his nightmare.

Besides, the redhead hadn’t said anything about his feelings, after all. Maybe Isa was just quick to assume they had fallen in love for each other, when it was just him who had taken the fall?

Isa tried not to think too much of Lea’s feelings anymore. He didn’t want to hope anymore.

==========

Isa only had three more weeks left to his stay at the Kingdom of the Sun, and Lea was was starting to panic.

The blue haired boy hadn’t been quite himself this past week. Lea wondered if he had done anything to make the other feel uncomfortable, that maybe he had done something to bring about this sudden change in Isa’s attitude without Lea himself noticing.

Isa had fallen silent, for the most part. He wouldn’t counter any of the things Lea said, no matter how stupid or perverted. Neither did he blush or get infuriated at Lea’s advances. It was very unsettling to Lea, who wanted to enjoy his last few weeks with Isa before they separated for who knows how long? Maybe months. Or worse, years.

Lea no longer wanted to part with Isa, even for a second. It hurt him that Isa had become emotionally distant when they could still enjoy the time they had left with each other.

In order to help Isa feel comfortable again, Lea arranged for a date with him. With his parents’ permission, he was to take Isa to the villa on a nearby island that they frequented on summers. They didn’t get the chance to go there that summer, so he thought it would be a good time to go now. The air had been getting chillier, so it wouldn’t be advisable to swim in the water, but Lea thought that Isa would still appreciate it. Going to the island would mean being surrounded by the sea the blue haired boy loved so much.

Lea had pictured him and Isa getting cuddly on the boat on the way to the island, with the sun shining high above them. Isa’s eyes would sparkle at the beauty of the shimmering, blue sea, then they would make up and have fun at the beach. By night time they would enjoy a candle-lit dinner by the shore, and hopefully do even more romantic things in bed.

But everything worked the opposite way of what Lea had hoped.

The sky was cloudy. The sea was gray. Isa had fixed a distance between them, and slept the whole time Owen brought them to the island. Isa stayed indoors, sitting beside a window in the living room from where he could see the sea. They had dinner in the dining room instead of the beach, and sat far across each other.

Isa still wasn't in the mood for anything. It was starting to get on Lea’s nerves.

***

After eating dinner, Lea found Isa standing at the veranda overlooking the sea. He approached slowly, cautiously, hoping he could take this chance to finally talk about what was bothering the blue haired boy.

“Isa,” Lea said as he approached. He tried to wrap his arms around the other, but Isa inched away. This sent the millionth pang onto Lea’s chest since the night Isa had said he hated him. “Isa, please. Say something.”

Isa responded with silence. Lea moved over to Isa’s right. He placed his arms over the veranda’s railing. He looked at Isa from where he stood, trying to read the emotions in his face, but Lea couldn’t see any.

Lea sighed, scratching the back of his neck as he looked the other way. “Isa, can’t you hear me? Why won’t you reply to me?” He looked at Isa again, and continued when the blue haired still wouldn’t respond. “Isa, please, if I’ve done something wrong, please tell me. I won’t ever do it again.” Lea ran his hands through his hair, trying to think of what next to say. “Was it me touching you too much? Did you not like my kisses? Have I been snoring too loud lately? Do you—“

Do you not like me anymore?

Lea bit his lip to stop himself from prodding further. He didn’t want such thoughts to make him break down and cry in front of Isa, especially when it already seemed like Isa was going through his own emotional turmoil. Lea had to maintain a brave front.

Sighing, he took one of Isa’s hands, kissed it and said, “I’ll let you have some space. Whatever you’re going through Isa, I’ll be here, okay?” Lea kissed the back of Isa’s hand again. “Good night.”

By the time Lea left, Isa’s chest had hurt so hard from the pain of trying to stop himself from crying. His lungs burned. His eyes stung. Every breath he took seemed to further fuel the pain he felt.

The blue haired boy wished Lea would stop being so sweet to him. He’d been trying to give the redhead the cold shoulder this past week. He wanted to make Lea’s sweetness stop. He wanted to undo the past five months and to make himself unlove Lea and say their engagement was a bad idea from the start.

It would hurt less that way because that way, Isa wouldn’t be hurt if Lea ever fell for someone else, regardless if he and Lea were married or not.

The moon shined down on the calm sea that reflected the stars in the sky. Isa had never seen something so beautiful, but the burning pain deep in his heart prevented him from appreciating it.

***

Isa couldn’t sleep a wink that night.

In fact, he couldn’t sleep much since he had the nightmare. He was terrified of seeing it again. He thought his heart would race too fast and that his breath would get stuck in his throat to the point that he wouldn’t ever be able to breathe again.

Giving up on sleep, he sat up. He looked to his left to look at Lea, but he couldn’t see him in the darkness of the room. He reached out, aiming to brush his fingers through Lea’s hair, and listened to the redhead’s calm breathing.

As he played with the smooth strands of Lea’s hair on his fingers, Isa began to think. He thought about how the past five months he and Lea spent together, the five months they got close, were about to fall into naught. He questioned his own actions, too, whether it was alright he was pushing Lea away or not. But he had to be strong, he told himself. The short-lived pain of leaving Lea once would be better than struggling through years of Lea sleeping with different concubines every night, the way his father had done. That had weakened his mother’s heart until she died, suffering from how little love she received from the one she loved.

Isa sighed, disappointed with himself. Even when he knew how painful it was to love someone, taking his mother as an example, he ended up letting himself fall for someone anyway. Perhaps he shouldn’t have let himself fall in the first place.

Isa sighed, and whispered, not realizing he was thinking out loud. “It would’ve been better if we hadn’t met.”

At that moment, a hand suddenly gripped his wrist, making him let go of Lea’s hair. Isa gasped, his eyes widened out of horror.

“What do you mean by that?” Lea spoke from the darkness of the room. His voice was raspy—from sleep or anger, Isa couldn’t tell.

“L-lea, I thought you were asleep.” Isa stuttered as he heard sheets ruffling. Lea sat up, his grip on Isa getting tighter once he had sat up straight.

“What do you mean by that?”

Isa was partially glad for the darkness of the room. He wouldn’t want to see how Lea’s eyes flared with anger to go with the fury in his voice. The blue haired boy’s heart thundered in his chest out of fear of having to explain everything.

“Should I repeat myself again, Isa?” Lea gritted his teeth. “What do you mean by that? What do you mean by ‘it would have been better if we hadn’t met’?”

Isa remained silent though his mind scrambled for something to say. He tried to say something, anything, but nothing came out. He wasn’t ready to admit anything to Lea yet.

“Do you—do you regret being with me, Isa?” Lea spoke, his voice cracking. His voice was tainted with hurt, and it made Isa’s heart sink. “I don’t think I can handle this anymore, Isa.” He took a sharp breath.  “I hate not talking to you, and I most definitely hate you distancing yourself from me.”

Isa still couldn’t find the words to say.

After a few moments of silence, Lea tried again. “Isa,” he called. He kept repeating the blue haired boy’s name, desperately calling out to him. The sweetness of his tone sent pangs of guilt unto Isa’s chest.

“Stop.” Isa pleaded.

“Stop what?”

“Stop saying my name like that.”

“Why? Why do I have to stop?” Lea further tightened his grip on Isa’s wrist. Isa’s hand might have been turning purple. Isa felt it going numb. “Why should I stop touching you? Kissing you? Calling your name? Why do I have to stop all these things when it’s all I ever want to do?”

“Because—“ Isa opened his mouth to start explaining one clear thought he had, but he judged otherwise. How could Lea understand his insecurity? How could Lea know how much he meant to Isa, that he couldn’t even handle the thought of Lea leaving him for someone else? Isa would rather leave before Lea could leave him. However, Isa’s pain blinded him from seeing that maybe Lea wouldn’t like to be left by him either. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Of course, I wouldn’t!” Lea spat. He finally let go of Isa’s hand to punch at the direction of the wall instead, wincing at the pain that shot through his knuckles. “You won’t even give me a chance to!”

Isa frowned at Lea shouting at him. The redhead had never used that tone with him before. Isa began to raise his voice as well. “I can’t even give you a chance to because I already know you wouldn’t understand. Your being angry right now is already proof that you wouldn’t!”

Lea grit his teeth. “If you’d just explain to me—“

“There’s nothing to explain.” The blue haired replied curtly, cutting the other off.

Lea clicked his tongue. “How could there be nothing to explain when you suddenly changed your attitude toward me this past week?”

That caught Isa in a bind. He couldn’t respond back because Lea had spoken the truth. Isa was caught red-handed. He had to explain now, or run away. Isa chose the latter.

Isa was thankful for the darkness of the room. Without seeing Lea’s face, he didn’t need to feel so guilty about just walking off. Isa quickly got off the bed and walked toward the door in the dark, feeling his way there with his feet.

“Isa!” Lea shouted after him when he felt the bed shift when Isa got off the bed. “Isa, where are you going?”

“I’m sleeping somewhere else.”

Lea ran his hands through his hair. He grunted when he pulled his hair in frustration. “Please, just stay here and let’s talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Why are you being so stubborn?” Lea shouted again. Isa wouldn’t stop his steps even when Lea continued to shout at him. “I don’t understand why we can’t just talk this through? This isn’t like you at all. Aren’t you the more rational one between us?”

Isa bit his lip. He wanted to turn and scream one more time at Lea. It’s because he was the rational one between the two of them that he was acting this way—or so he persuaded himself. After thinking about their relationship on the long run—that it would benefit neither of them—Isa found it best to end it. The sooner the better.

Isa just couldn’t find the words to explain this to Lea yet. While he still didn’t have the words, he concluded he should simply avoid the redhead. Maybe then things would take their course. Lea would fall out of love with him while they spent time away.

When Isa went out the door, he could hear Lea scream his name one more time.

Four.

At the start of Isa's fifth month in the kingdom, there was a huge celebration in town. They were celebrating what they called the Fire Festival, where the town would make a large bonfire at the middle of the town square at night, dance around it, and simply enjoy each other's company. It was to celebrate successful harvest despite the vexing heat of the summer sun and to pray for more luck the next harvest season.

Lea took Isa to town that night in simple thin robes Lea bought from a merchant that came from the far, far east. They were called 'yukata', the merchant explained. It was suitable to wear in the warm heat of summer, and very comfortable, too. Isa's was blue with circular purple and violet designs, with a green sash to keep it in place, while Lea's was orange with yellow squares, the same yellow as the sash that kept his outfit in place. They wore slippers made out of straw.

The King and Queen didn't take part in the festivities. Their only contribution was the supplying of wood for the bonfire and drinks for the men, which the townspeople had to pick up from a neighboring kingdom.

Lea had been attending the festival every year since he was three years old, Isa heard from Carmela, who sat next to him in front of her shop at the Town Plaza. In the past month, Lea and Isa frequented the town more that Isa was able to associate names with faces. Carmela made great pancakes. He and Lea sometimes came to her place for breakfast when they woke up early enough to sneak past the guards.

That night, Carmela told him many stories about Lea, some he'd heard before from others, some he'd just heard from her. Children were giggling behind him as Carmela continued sharing her stories, grabbing her children to wipe the sweat off her children's backs whenever they ran in front of her. She talked about how the prince had always been cheerful—with a smile anyone would expect from a kingdom hailed with the sun's radiance, how lonely the prince was when the King and Queen went away for negotiations though he tried not to show, how friendly the prince had always been with different people despite age or gender. Isa listened intently to every story, watching Lea from across the town square where he was drinking with Wilbert and the others, hoping Lea's was just grape juice and not wine.

Blue-green eyes locked with green for a moment. It sent a ticklish feelingthrough their bodies. Feeling giddy Isa was watching him, Lea threw him a flying kiss. The rest of the boys he was drinking with howled and whistled at the gesture, while Isa felt the need to hide away in embarrassment.

"You didn't catch it!" Lea shouted across the square, over the burning bonfire. "Should I send you another one?"

"Keep your sloppy kisses to yourself!" Isa shouted, a small smile playing at the side of his lips. He was thankful for the bonfire that separated them so Lea wouldn't notice he was blushing again, for the thousandth time, at Lea's embarrassing antics.

"Ayyye, heard that? Our Prince kisses sloppy." One of the men said. Isa wondered if it was Mario, but among the buzzing of various people talking around him, he couldn't tell anymore. Then they all laughed. Lea was protesting that they hadn't kissed yet, which many were shocked about. They continued to kid around, saying things like how modest their Prince Lea was and how he didn't have to be shy to admit that they already had kissed. Isa was just glad they didn't see it as a chance to tease them and make them kiss right then and there.

The party continued even after the mothers sent their children off to bed. Many of the men were still awake, merrymaking and delighting at all the food and booze that was still available.

Isa didn't move from his spot the whole time. Though Lea went from house to house at some point, Isa didn't bother tracking him down. He figured the redhead would have gone all over town that night.

Various mothers and single women alike came up to Isa and talked gladly with him about various topics—Lea, the Kingdom of Flowers, their daily lives. They even complimented him and his beautiful hair, too. The women kept supplying him food and drink when it seemed he was running out, which he thanked each of them for.

Hours passed and the number of people awake dwindled down to a mere handful. Isa still sat at his place in front of Carmela's shop, a cup of warm hot chocolate in hand, given to him by one of the mothers still awake, Laura, who sat beside him. The bonfire was still burning at the center of the square, albeit with less flare than it had hours ago.

Isa watched quietly as Lea discussed seemingly more serious matters with the few men still awake from across the square. They still had drinks in hand. The blue haired boy sighed, wondering how in the world he could get Lea back to the castle at his state. He was glad the festival was held on a Friday, giving him and Lea the chance to catch up on sleep the following day.

The more time passed, the more difficult it was for Isa to stay awake. Staring at the low flame of the bonfire, Isa slowly drifted off to sleep.

***

Isa wasn't sure for how long he was asleep before he was woken up by cold fingers brushing his cheeks.

"You can't sleep here, Isa," said a familiar voice that made his heart skip and his chest feel warm and fuzzy. Isa hadn't opened his eyes yet, but he knew it was Lea.

Lea took the chair beside him, inched it so close he almost slammed it unto Isa's chair, and sat down. He then gently guided Isa’s head so he could lean it on his shoulder.

Isa may not have noticed, but Lea, too, had been watching him the whole night.

He saw how animated Isa's face was as other women talked to him, which made him a little jealous. He saw how kind he was to the children that braided flowers in his hair, thanking each of them with kisses to their cheeks before they ran away to play again, which, too, made him jealous. He saw how Isa was able to keep Lea in his view despite looking somewhere else, how lost Isa looked when he realized Lea was no longer at the bar with the boys and how relief took over his face soon after when he spotted Lea waving at him.

"Then we better head back to the castle soon," Isa said as he let the weight of his head fall onto Lea's shoulder. The redhead moved positions again then, this time wrapping his arms around Isa so the blue haired boy could rest his head on his chest. "I don't think I can hang on for much longer."

"Aww, but the party's just started! We can't go back yet." Lea laughed. He looked down at Isa, who's eyes were still closed, and brushed loose strands of hair off of Isa's face and tucked them behind his ear.

Lea had never been this close to Isa before, even in the past few weeks that Isa started adjusting to his physical displays of affection. That night, Isa was so, so close. He looked beautiful—Isa always was—in the faint, yellow glow of the bonfire's flames. Lea trailed his fingers from Isa's ear, to his cheeks to his chin. He gulped. Isa's lips were so, so close.

Lea wanted to kiss him then and there.

But before he could, Isa laughed weakly, drowsy with sleep, "You'll have to figure out a way to get back to the castle by yourself then."

Though a bit disappointed he couldn't kiss the other, he replied kiddingly, "Says the guy who's already falling asleep right here."

"I'm not—" Isa opened his eyes and tilted his head to look at Lea. He stopped midsentence as soon as he was met with the view of Lea's smile illuminated by the bonfire's flames, his shining green eyes that sparkled in the flames’ glow, and the millions of stars that decorated the night sky. Isa could hear the drumming of his heart beat faster once Lea widened his smile even further, showing his teeth and squinting his eyes.

Isa loved it when Lea smiled like that. It was evident in how Isa’s breath got stuck in his throat, his chest clenching, and a certain, bubbly warmth spreading from his stomach, extending to the rest of his body.

Lea continued to brush his fingers across Isa's cheeks then, and Isa wondered if Lea was going to kiss him. He really wished Lea would. He wanted to feel just how warm, sweet and soft Lea's lips really were, after all these months of wondering. He was once too shy to be physically affectionate with Lea, even though he had wanted to hold hands and do things people who loved each other did. He wanted to grab Lea by the back of his neck to pull him down and kiss him, but Lea spoke again.

"Not what? What is it?" Lea said when he noticed Isa was staring too long at him, shaking Isa out of his thoughts. "Are you cold?"

"Because of your fingers, yes." Isa laughed again, still weakly. He was so tired he hadn’t realized he was no longer holding onto his cup of hot chocolate. Isa took Lea's hands and blew his warm breath on them. When they seemed warm enough, Isa placed the other's hands on his cheeks. "There, much better."

Lea was surprised at Isa's actions. Isa wasn’t normally this hyped with skin contact. He chuckled in delight, then leaned down to kiss Isa on the forehead—though he missed and kissed in between Isa's eyebrows instead. He let his hands slide down from Isa's cheeks, down his neck and unto Isa’s shoulders. He then whispered in Isa's ear, "Would you warm up the rest of my body then?"

Greatly surprised at the terribly embarrassing line and the lustful tone it came with, Isa suddenly pushed Lea away, making the other fall off his chair. Lea laughed out loud as he lied on the floor. He sat up to face Isa, "Was that too much?"

Isa, not able to form a word though he very much wanted to scream at Lea, nodded yes.

"I'm sorry." Lea stood up, a few more tiny bouts of laughter still finding their way out his mouth. He bowed toward Isa and extended a hand toward him. "Shall we go?"

Isa then remembered the time they first met again after a decade spent apart. He remembered the irritation of Lea having mistaken him for a girl all these years, the disappointment that came with it, and the relief of Lea promising to be with him (although as a best friend) despite all that. Months had passed since then, and though they promised to be, both could sense they were no longer treating each other as mere "best friends". Or at least, that’s what Isa had hoped.

Isa breathed, feeling the weight of the hand filled with promises, wishes and dreams, just by looking at it. He wondered if it really was alright to take it, but what consequences could await them if he did, when they were already promised to wed? Brushing his uncertainty away, Isa took Lea's hand. Lea helped him up.

Lea then guided Isa toward the bonfire, stopping at a distance where they could feel the warmth of the low fire.

"You said we were leaving."

Lea held Isa close by the arms, whispering in the other’s ear, "Just one dance,"

Isa dug his face into Lea’s shoulder to hide from embarrassment again. “I—I don’t know how to dance anything except for The Waltz. The guy’s part, mind you.”

Lea laughed softly. “That’s alright. We just need to do this.” Lea pushed Isa away slightly so he could take Isa’s hands in his. He guided them behind his neck, making sure Isa had locked his fingers there. Lea then wrapped his arms around Isa’s waist. This position brought their faces closer to one another, so close that they could feel each other’s breaths on their skin. Their noses almost bumped, but didn’t.

Lea then started swinging his arms. He guided their hips to move in a slow, lulling dance. They stayed in place, just leaning from one foot to the other, swaying their hips to Lea’s rhythm. The pair couldn’t help giggling, a fluffy warmth forming in their chests.

Their foreheads touched, then Isa muttered. “Alright. Just one dance.”

***

"Today was really nice." Isa started.

After one dance, they started to walk back to the castle, just as Lea promised. Their pinkies were intertwined as they walked, swaying their arms slightly back and forth to the rhythm of their steps. "I'm glad you invited me."

"Well, you better look forward to bringing me home like this every year from now on." Lea joked. Although he was kidding, Isa was flattered at the hints of forever in Lea's words.

"I'll prepare myself."

Upon reaching the castle, they both headed toward Isa's room. Lea invited himself to sleep over, claiming he was too tired to go all the way to his room, when in truth he just didn't want to let go of Isa's finger. They lied on bed facing each other, not bothering to change clothes or brush their teeth because they were simply out of energy. Isa lied on the left, Lea on the right. They looked at each other before going to sleep, seemingly waiting for the other to fall asleep first.

"You'll become a great king, Lea." Isa spoke, after a long moment of silence. The overwhelming awe for Lea—how much he loved his people, and how the people love him in return—rushed to him then. He smiled at the glee reflected in Lea's eyes, then continued after a deep breath. "You'll lead this kingdom and its people into a more prosperous, radiant kingdom than it already is."

"You mean I'll be a greater king than King Lee the Eighth? My great, great, great, great. No wait, let me count this." The redhead counted with his fingers with every 'great' he mentioned. "My great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather?"

Isa laughed at the many greats Lea had to say, and also at the delight in his chest because Lea did remember his passionate musing about King Lee the Eighth in one of his early days at the kingdom. "Yes, Lea. You'll be the best king there ever was."

Isa soon closed his eyes after, sleep getting the better of him. He was drifting off to the land of dreams when he felt warm breath on his face and something soft touching his lips. He slowly opened his eyes to find a pair of twinkling green eyes staring right back at him, the tip of his nose touching his. Lea's warm breath was on his face. Their closed distance made Isa's heart beat faster.

Lea leaned in again, this time placing his hand behind Isa’s neck, pulling Isa’s face closer to his. He pressed his warm lips on Isa’s cold lips—once, twice, again and again until he lost count, until Isa’s lips had become as warm as his. They stared into each other’s eyes for a moment, their breaths in perfect rhythm, hearts racing in their chests and drumming in their ears. Lea leaned in one more time. Isa leaned in, too, to meet him half way. He was pulling Lea closer by the hem of his yukata as if Lea wasn’t close enough. They pressed their lips together. Lea tasted Isa’s lips with the tip of his tongue this time. Isa let Lea map out his lips before parting them, letting the red-haired prince explore his mouth with his tongue slowly.

Isa could taste the grape juice in Lea's mouth. He delighted in both its sweetness and the fact that Lea hadn't drunk himself silly after all, despite his worries earlier that night. He relished in the warmth of Lea's body pressed against his and wrapped his arms around Lea, his hands gripping Lea’s back. Lea took pleasure in Isa's chocolate taste. He had imagined this kiss countless times before and never had he thought it would feel this magical. His heart beat louder in his ears as he continued passionately kissing Isa. He was even more enthralled when Isa tightly gripped onto his clothes, hoping that meant Isa was taking pleasure from it, too.

The more they kissed, the sweeter it became—a taste that was neither grape nor chocolate. A certain warmth settled in their chests.

They let each other go only when it was getting too difficult to breathe.

"So... Did I kiss sloppy?" Lea in between ragged breaths.

"Hmm, could do better next time."

"Can I try again now?"

Isa laughed sleepily before pulling Lea into another kiss.

==========

Lea awoke to Isa's sleeping face, a morning glow cast upon it by the few rays of sunlight that came in from the window. Birds chirped outside, and they complimented the smooth, steady pattern of Isa's breathing. While Lea stared gleefully at Isa, he noticed Isa's bare shoulder, uncovered by Isa's loosened clothes. Lea and Isa couldn't get as far as Lea had wanted last night. Isa was very tired, after all, and he didn't want to speed things up too quickly when they were finally making much progress. The redhead figured he was mightily content with last night's bouts of kisses, but the smooth, tempting shoulder made him think otherwise.

Lea wanted to pull the offending clothes off to feel all over Isa's smooth skin, touch Isa in areas no one ever had, kiss him drunk silly, and pour all his love and affection into him. When the redhead was starting to feel uncomfortable in his nether regions, Lea thought it best to leave while Isa was asleep to take care of this morning problem.

What was even more problematic is that now that he'd had a taste of Isa, how can he stop himself from then on?

***

Isa awoke to disappointment. Lea wasn't there beside him when he woke up.

He immediately started formulating his reprimand to Lea about Not Leaving Your Partner After a Wonderfully Good Night (and Kiss). Before he could leave his bed out of frustration, Lea emerged from the bedroom door.

"Oh, Isa. You're awake." Lea beamed. He was still in his clothes from last night, albeit more disheveled than Isa remembered. The redhead looked a bit embarrassed as he rushed toward the bed with a large piece of cloth in hand, and plopped unto the soft mattress. "I was waiting for you to wake up, but you were taking long. I figured you were tired so I thought I should let you sleep. And that when you woke up, we could eat breakfast together in bed!"

The redhead set the cloth on the bed and slowly opened it, hoping no crumbs fall unto Isa's sheets, and revealed a fresh batch of apple tarts. They hadn't had the chance to eat apple tarts in the past month. Isa wondered whether Lea took this without Carla knowing or if Carla gave it to him willingly, but another thought pushed that away.

This was unfair.

Three.

In the duration of Isa's first month at the castle, their routine was like this: Lea wakes up first. He goes to Isa's room to invite him out for breakfast. Lea would take Isa around the castle and the town proper, only coming back for lunch and supper. Lea would take Isa back to his room for the night, then retire to his own room and sleep.

As the days passed, however, Lea eventually stopped waking up first to fetch Isa. The routine eventually became like this: Isa wakes up first. He goes to Lea's room and nags Lea to fix himself up, finding out the hard way that Lea was a real heavy sleeper. The blue haired could not figure out how Lea ever managed to wake up before him when he slept this heavy. The first time Isa had come to Lea's room, he tried poking and punching Lea to wake him from his sleep, but the redhead somehow just snored even louder.

Isa wondered once, if he should wake Lea up like a princess: through a kiss. But he simply brushed the thought off, laughing at his momentous idiocy. He tried not to let the impending blush get to him, when he realized he was fine being on the receiving end of the kiss. Frustrated at himself, he pulled the covers off Lea and dragged him forcefully off the bed by his feet. Isa shouted at him until the other woke up.

Lea, however, couldn’t seem to learn his lesson, no matter how forceful Isa woke him up.

One day, Isa gave up on the tremendous ordeal of waking Lea up for the day, and pulled the nearby chair from the dresser. He placed it beside Lea’s bed, and decided to sit there until the other woke up.

***

That morning, Lea woke up to Isa sitting beside him, the other’s head bobbing as he dozed in his sleep. Delighted to see his favorite person the moment he opened his eyes, Lea quickly grabbed Isa's arms and pulled him into bed with him. The sudden pull on his arms woke a disoriented Isa up. A few moments later, Isa realized his upper body was lying on top of Lea's and his knees to the floor.

"Were you trying to tear my limbs off?" Isa spoke tersely, eyes deadpan. The pain on his knees ached, and he tried to get up and back to his chair so he could rub his knees in comfort, but Lea pulled him right back in bed.

Isa ended up lying sideways on the bed, with his back facing Lea. Lea's arms wrapped around his torso, and his legs wrapped around his thighs. Isa would have laughed at this position since Lea was like a koala hanging onto a tree branch, but Lea's breath at his nape was distracting him from forming clearer thoughts.

"Good morning, Isa." Lea spoke in a raspy whisper, not having the strength to raise his voice yet. Isa couldn't tell, but Lea's lips were barely an inch away from his skin.

"Good morning, sleepyhead. Let go of me. Your breath stinks."

Isa tried to get out of the other's grasp, but Lea only hugged him tighter. He still spoke in a whisper, this time right at Isa's ear. "If you were gonna sleep here anyway, might as well stay with me from evening."

"No, thank you! Knowing how loud you snore, I wouldn't be able to sleep." Isa huffed out immediately, still trying to get out of Lea's grasp. He was trying even more frantically now, not wanting the redhead to feel the heat in his body rising because of Lea's own embarrassing antics. Where in the world did Lea find the guts to say something as romantic—no, not romantic—embarrassing as that?

Isa was thankful that Lea couldn't see his face, at least, because he knew—no matter how much he didn't want to admit—he was as red as a tomato.

"Ahh, but you'll get used to it, wouldn't you?" Lea laughed weakly. He let go of Isa a few moments after, rolling to lie his back down on the bed. When he noticed Isa wasn't replying, he lied on his side again, propped on his elbow, and watched Isa as he fixed his hair at the dresser. Lea pondered how Isa made it possible for even the most mundane things to look so elegant, like tying one's hair.

Before Isa could finish tying the ribbon on his hair, the clock on Lea's room struck nine.

"Lea!" the blue haired prince called while adjusting the ribbon on his hair. "Go fix yourself up now, please."

"But I don't want to get up yet. Let me sleep for a while longer." Lea replied, rolling face down on the bed, adding a "please" after a moment.

"Your lessons start again today, don't they?"

Lea explained to Isa some days before that he was given a few weeks off lessons so he could spend time with his princess. (That time, Isa's face turned sour again at the mention of 'princess' and Lea earned a beating—disguised as sparring—for it.)

Today, Lea's break from studying ends, as the scholar that taught him lessons was back in the kingdom.

"That's exactly why I need to sleep some more. Wake me up after class." Lea was about to pull the covers back on top of him when Isa pulled him out of bed forcibly, much like the other day. The redhead stood up slowly, rubbing his bottom as Isa pushed him away from the bed.

"Lea, don't make me explain this to you again. Not everyone has the chance to be taught by scholars. You should be delighted you're one of the very few who could be taught all these things scholars have to offer."

Lea turned to Isa with a sour look on his face. "You sound just like Mother."

"Thank you for the compliment. Now, come on, you have to get dressed."

"Mother, I don't want to." The redhead complained as Isa pushed him to the foldable screen, behind which Lea could change out of his night robes and into his normal apparel.

"Oh, stop being a baby." Isa rolled his eyes despite having a playful smile on his lips. "Now come on.  Hurry up. Change and brush your teeth. We need to eat breakfast before the scholar arrives."

"Mother, help me get dressed." Lea complained, though his voice was muffled by his clothes.

"You can do fine. You're a big boy now." Isa replied, while he made up the bed. After that, he picked up the clothes Lea left lying on the floor the night, rambling to himself again what a difficult king they were to have if he couldn't even wake up properly, make his own bed, and pick up his own clothes.

Isa gathered the dirty clothes and put them on the clothes hamper for the housekeepers to take later. As soon as he had finished, long, lanky arms found their way around his torso for the second time that day.

"Mother, I did it." Lea whispered at Isa’s ear. This time, Isa could smell his minty breath.

Isa wished Lea would stop hugging him from behind and whispering to his ear. It was too much for his poor heart to take.

"Well done, well done, my son. Now let's get to the dining area." Isa replied. He looked unimpressed on the outside, with his eyes deadpan and his lips in a fine line, but his heart was thundering up a storm inside him.

"Not before getting my morning kiss from Mother." Lea quickly pecked Isa on the cheek, then let him go and walked toward the dresser to fix his hair—or, at least, that was his plan. He was thankful for the dresser's mirror through which he saw Isa rushing toward him with a deadly look on his extremely red face, like the blue haired prince had gone berserk.

Lea quickly grabbed a ribbon to tie his hair in and rushed out of his room.

Isa chased him all the way until the dining room.

While they ate breakfast in silence across each other, with Isa giving him a few angry glances now and then, Lea contemplated over what might have caused Isa's sudden rampage. He deduced that, if it was the kiss, he would like to try kissing Isa on the lips, regardless if it would cost him his life.

==========

In the weeks that followed, Lea noticed that Isa got jolty whenever he did such things like pecking Isa on the cheek or touching Isa on any part of his body.

"Stop doing such embarrassing things," Isa would scold him, his mood turning sour the next few moments.

Lea didn't see why Isa got so mad whenever he did. Perhaps Isa wasn't used to such physical contact.

  He would just have to wait for Isa to feel more comfortable with him before he could do such things again.

==========

On the weekend of Isa's second month, after the second week of lessons for both of them, Lea had to take Isa to the library to look for one of the readings he was tasked to read. The library was a spot he missed on purpose when he was taking Isa around the castle simply because, as he told Isa before, he wasn't fond of reading.

Lea, however, quickly regretted not bringing Isa here sooner. He had never seen so much glee on anyone's face as much as Isa had on his once Lea opened the doors to the library. Isa was completely mesmerized by the dozens of bookshelves, filled with books to the brim, which rose from floor to ceiling. The light that came in from the large windows gave the room an elegant ambience.

"My library doesn't even compare." Isa spoke, still in awe as if he had sparkles in his eyes. Lea wondered, if he came closer to Isa, would he have heard the twinkling of the blue-green orbs? "How could you not love reading when you have so many books to choose from?"

"Well, that was a direct hit to the gut." Lea commented sarcastically to deaf ears for Isa was already exploring the nearest bookshelf before he could finish. He smiled to himself as he watched Isa browse through some books, happy that the blue haired boy was this delighted. He approached Isa, catching the other by the arm before he could turn to the next bookshelf. "You know, we could come here more often if you'd lik–"

"I'd love to!" Isa replied quickly, and Lea could swear he saw more sparkles in Isa's eyes.

"Alright then," Lea nodded, making a mental note to bring Isa here more often. "But first, help me find the book I need."

"Alright."

When Isa slipped out of Lea's grip to find the book the redhead was looking for, Lea found himself still smiling at Isa's utmost fascination with books.

Then he found himself wondering, what would it take for Isa to look at him with that much endearment, too?

==========

By the second week of Isa's third month staying in the kingdom, going to the library became part of their weekend routine. Since Isa let Lea sleep in on weekends because they don’t have classes, Lea tended to wake up much later than Isa. At such times, the redhead wouldn’t bother passing by Isa’s room to check if he was still asleep. Instead, he went straight to the library, straight to Isa’s favorite corner.

That was where Lea found him that day.

Isa sat on a table placed between two bookshelves that reached the ceiling, meters up from the ground, his back facing the entrance. If Lea wasn't familiar with Isa's favorite place in the library, it would have been difficult to spot the blue haired boy, for he was hidden from view by the bookshelf behind him. To Isa's left was a huge window similar to the other windows in the room. It started from three feet off the ground and rose up to more than twelve feet. Through the window, one can see the forest on the left side. In the middle, the sharp end of the cliff. And on the right, the calm, blue sea. Of all the windows in the library, the sea was visible only from this one, which Lea believed to be the reason why Isa loved sitting there.

Isa once mentioned to Lea he had never seen the sea before coming here, and the redhead thought it was such a pity when he could see the calm waves of the sea on the small curves of Isa's hair. To Lea, Isa's existence was like that of the sea. Sometimes, it was calm and nurturing, giving him a sense of balance and quiet. Sometimes, it was harsh and intimidating, beating the idle and negligence out of his system, making him learn more about the world with every crashing wave.

But most of all, the sea was beautiful, and it shined radiantly under the bright light of the sun.

"How long have you been standing there?" Isa was snickering when Lea managed to shake out of his thoughts. The blue haired boy was facing him, arm slung at the back of his chair, chin propped on his hand. "Did you get distracted by my handsome face framed by this glorious morning light?"

"Heh. Don't get conceited now. I was..." Lea paused for a moment once he took a seat across Isa, looking down at the table. "I was staring at the sea."

"Yeah," Isa replied. Lea looked at Isa then, and saw the blue haired boy’s lips curved into a small, appreciative smile while he stared at the sea. "It's much more beautiful than I had imagined."

Yes, definitely. Lea concluded.

Isa was the sea.

==========

On a certain sunny weekend, Isa and Lea were reading at the library. They sat at Isa's favorite place, which by then he’d started to call his “little piece of heaven”. While Lea takes a break every after four pages, Isa was able to continuously flip through pages at a steady pace. Whenever Lea took his reading breaks, his eyes automatically lingered toward Isa.

Lea observed how his blue hair framed his beautiful face. Isa usually tied his hair up high, with strands of it coming loose to frame his face, much like the first time he met him again. The sunlight gave Isa’s skin a certain glow, and it made him look more beautiful than Lea could ever think possible. The redhead watched Isa’s facial expressions change, though subtly, every so often at the different lines he read.

Lea could just watch Isa forever, but there were times he wanted to touch him. To feel the other's silky, blue hair, his seemingly golden skin, those soft, luscious lips.

It bothered Lea.

He wasn't supposed to have these thoughts toward his “best friend”. But then again, he was going to wed Isa. So it should be alright to have such thoughts… right?

At that moment, Isa noticed Lea was staring at him.

"What is it?" The blue haired boy asked, cheeks starting to burn red. Lea wondered if it was from the heat of the sun, or because Isa was flustered. Lea so hoped it was the latter.

"It's nothing. Keep reading."

Isa rolled his eyes and gave Lea a crooked, playful smile. He proceeded with reading, cheeks still looking warm and red.

“To have Isa as a wife” the thought made Lea grin to himself. He thought how lucky he was that—despite spending years away from this perfect person and even mistaking his gender—he’d be able to marry the person of his dreams in the end.

==========

During Isa's fourth month in the Kingdom of the Sun, which was getting warmer as the days passed, Lea started taking him more often to town proper, where Isa met the townspeople, who responded well and sweet to Lea's introducing him as his fiancée. The older townspeople held their reservations about them. Both Isa and Lea could sense them tense up when they stood too near each other for their comfort, but they still respectfully gave their blessing, even if it was just at face-value.

Through these trips, Isa was able to experience first-hand just how radiant and bright the people of the Kingdom of the Sun really were. Many people smiled with radiance, even brighter than Lea's at times, and he could sense how united its people were. Isa aimed to have a kingdom like this, and was delighted that he could one day rule this kingdom with Lea. What a perfect life that would be, he pondered, that he would be able to get all the things he wanted.

It was too perfect that it seemed impossible.

==========

It happened when they were on their way to town one day.

They were both wearing short sleeved outfits then. They were walking so close to each other that they kept brushing each other by the arm. It came to a point their hands would brush ever so slightly, and when they did, they felt static in between their fingers.

They laughed at it at first, mumbling apologies for the static. They wondered how it was even possible for that electric pulse to form between them in the first place.

It happened one, two, four more times. Both of them started to wonder if they should just hold hands, but they had never done such things before. Also, in Lea's experience, Isa seemed to be bothered by such things.

Before they entered town proper, Lea stopped and grabbed Isa by the arm, electric waves pulsing through their contact again, making both of them laugh.

"Isa, can I—" Lea paused. He averted his gaze to the side, scratching the back of his neck as he continued. "Can I hold your hand?"

Isa breathed in deeply, then laughed, like he just unloaded tons of weight from his shoulders. He smiled at Lea when Lea looked back at him. "I thought you'd never ask."

Greatly delighted, Lea took Isa's hand, brought the back of it to his lips, and kissed it.

Since then, the amount of their skinship increased greatly. They would hold hands, fingers laced, when walking around, hug each other the moment they see each other in the morning, or lie on each other's stomachs or laps when they spent time in the garden.