For Durge ask game, 15, 18, 22, 25! 👀👀
ooh these are spicy i like it
15: What is your Dark Urge’s greatest fear?
Pre-tadpole, it was definitely doubt. Ever since he committed to Bhaal and His vision for the world (and the role Cassander (my Durge)) will play in it, he has been desperately clinging to the belief that this is how it was always meant to be. There is no reason to ever regret or grieve because there was never a choice. Doubt in this belief is the worst thing that he thinks could happen. He can't falter, he can't fail, he has already done too much.
Post-tadpole this pretty much turns on it's head, once he is free from Bhaal's influence (arguably for the first time in his life) and has built up new relationships, when he had the chance to ask himself what he really wants. Once its revealed what he really is and what he used to do he is terrified that Bhaal will regain control over him once again and he will be nothing more than a tool for a greater power to wield. The night he nearly killed Astarion (whom he becomes romantically involved with) stays with him all the time because he fears if Bhaal may forcibly override his free will at any point like he did that night.
It's not that he is afraid to kill or even particularly averse to the act. its the lack of control that he fears.
18: How does your Dark Urge feel about love?
He doesn't really know how to handle it, to be honest. Love is so antithetical to what he is supposed to represent that for most of his life he had no ability to really understand any feelings he had in that direction, and it usually got tangled up with the high he got off violence and carnage, since Bhaalist teachings associate devotion and murder very closely.
Once he realizes he is developing feelings for Astarion (while he is still largely amnesiac) he realizes he is just as lost as him. "I don't know what we're doing, but this? This is nice" really sums up his feelings about it. Platonically this extends to the other companions as well. He realizes he cares about them and its terrifying because his Urge seems to itch to erase these influences out of his life. He doesn't really have the vocabulary to express what he feels but he begins to understand its something he has been deprived of for the longest time, and he wants to explore it further.
22: What first impression does your Dark Urge give off to strangers?
Assuming the strangers aren't hostile - he's is quite charming actually. He is a bard after all and good at reading people, with a showman's streak. His appearance is somewhat unsettiling, even to other tieflings, but he has learned to play it off. There is always an air of uncanny valley about him though, a sense that there is something unsettling underneath the performer's mask, but most people don't linger on the feeling.
25: How does your Dark Urge feel about Sceleritas Fel?
Cassander and Scleritas have a complex connection. Even before his true nature was revealed to him, Scleritas essentially groomed him into the serial killer he would later become. Because of his odd habits as a child related to the Urge, Cassander became increasingly alienated from his peers and even his parents, which Scleritas used to influence his thinking in secret as his "best friend". He was the one to convince Cass to actually kill his parents in the end, marking the official start of his path towards becoming the leader of the Bhaal Temple in Baldur's Gate (it would take a few more years until he actually joined the temple, but this was the key moment that set him on this path).
Pre-amnesia Cassander had a double edged perception towards Scleritas. On one hand he was his servant and beneath him, a creature that existed to follow his every whim with gusto, and this got frustrating because he couldn't get any kind of intellectual stimulus out of Fel. There were no truly interesting conversations to be had because Scleritas was by nature his personal yes man.
On the other hand he was probably the one being he fully trusted and considered a close confidante. He had been with him the longer than any other living being and knew him better than anyone else, and when he had moments of wavering in his devotion he could always trust Scleritas to reassure him and boost his confidence. In his weird, fucked up way Scleritas did make him less lonely, and he was always in his corner, even against other Bhaalists.
