#kanye rant

tick tick boom x can’t handle this edit

Can I say my shit? [Name of town], can I say my shit? I've got lots of shit to say. I've got lots of shit to say.

I can't fit my hand inside a Pringle can. I have a huge amount of trouble fitting my hand inside of a Pringle can. I can get my hand like four inches into the can, but then I have to tilt the can into my mouth. But by that point, a bunch of crumbs have accumulated at the bottom of the can, so they go spilling onto my face. What I'm trying to say is the diameter of Pringle cans is way too small.

I'll say it again. The diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. Two radiuses of a Pringle can is way too small. If you feel me, put your hands up. Come on, if you feel me, put her hands up. Look at all these hands that are way too big to fit inside a Pringle can. Your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can. Your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can. You think you can. I know you can't. You think you can.

Pringles, listen to the people! I am sure ninety percent of the complaint letter you get are about the width of your cans. Just make them wider. I've overdone the Pringles thing, sorry.

I wanna have a daughter. Wanna have a daughter, so I can finally have someone around the house who can fit their hands in a Pringle can. Yes, I'm still on the Pringle can thing! I'll move on, alright? But that is priority número uno.

I don't go to the gym 'cause I'm self-conscious about my body. But I'm self-conscious about my body 'cause I don't go to the gym. Irony can be so painful. That's a Catch-22. Let's do this!

I went to Chipotle, went to Chipotle. Got myself a chicken burrito. I went down the line. I got, like, all these ingredients. And at all the end of the line, the guy tried to wrap the burrito, but half of the shit inside the burrito spilled out. He still wrapped it. I was like, "dude, you should have warned me! "You're a burrito expert; you should have told me halfway through, "hey man, you might be reaching maximum burrito capacity here."" Do you think I want a messy burrito? No one wants a messy burrito. The whole appeal of a burrito is that all of the ingredients are contained within the confines of the tortilla. I wouldn't have gotten half this shit if I knew it wasn't gonna fit in the burrito! Alright?

Look, I wouldn't have gotten the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit. Wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit. Wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit. I wouldn't have got half of it. Like, I'm okay with small mistakes. If you've got no more chicken, I'll take pork, but I'll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork. Wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit. Wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit. Wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't- Man, I wouldn't have got half of it. Like, half of it, like half of it, half of it, like half of it right now. I think it's time. I think it's time. I, that we break it down.

Put the lotion in the basket.

I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are Pringles cans and burritos. The truth it, my biggest problem's you. I want to please you, but I want to stay true to myself. I want to give you the night out that you deserve, but I want to say what I think and not care what you think about it. A part of me loves you, part of me hates you. Part of me needs you, part of me fears you. And I don't think that I can handle this right now, handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right- I don't think that I can handle this right- I don't think that I can handle this right- I don't think that I can handle this right- Look at them, they're just staring at me. Like, "come and watch the skinny white kid with a steadily declining mental health and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself."

Think that I can handle this right- I don't think that I can handle this right- They don't even know the half of this right- They don't even know the half of it. But I know I'm not a doctor. I'm a pussy. I put on a silly show. I should probably just shut up and do my job, so here I go.

Wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit. Wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit. Wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit. Wouldn't have got half. You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme. And if they still don't understand you, then you run it one more time.

The Ink Demonth: Entertainment

(small note - it took me 2 years to get to doing this - took 2 days to do it)

dedicated to @thusfeathered <3

So.

I realise that I’m late to the party on this one, but I’ve been watching reaction videos lately after I saw Bo Burnham’s Make Happy on Netflix and a lot of people seemed confused as to what the Pringle can in the first part of his Can’t Handle This rant could mean. I have a gut feeling on this, but I don’t know if I can do it justice in words, so please bear with me.

Make Happy was the first time I’d seen a Bo Burnham show, and I have to say I really enjoyed it. I watched it again recently once I’d found out more about him and his problems with the industry and mental health issues, things that I didn’t know the first time around, and found that they showed in the ending rant especially.

The burrito metaphor was easy enough to understand, especially once I watched a video that connected the ‘shit’ in the introduction to the ‘shit’ in the burrito. This shows how he’s unable to handle what he’s selected from life because no one told him how hard it would be once he reached that point.

After watching a few such videos, I discovered that the Pringle can metaphor was something that confused a lot of people, but I realised that in some way I did understand what it was saying, so I’ll do my best to articulate.

First off, I would like to tell a story about one time when I came home from school to an empty house – not unusual as both my parents are usually at work for longer than I’m at school and I’m an only child. I was in my first term of year 10, had started my GCSEs and was – and still am – struggling with the stress of absorbing all this information when I hadn’t previously needed to revise anything to get a good mark. This left me without the skills I needed to prepare for topic tests, particularly in sciences, seeing as the time when most people learned revision skills had passed by the time my own needs arose. When I came up the stairs, I saw that my room still had books and clothes on the floor that I’d been using the previous day and I couldn’t handle it. I hid in the bathroom and cried until my mum got home.

I don’t remember exactly what it was, but I think in that moment I felt like the walls were suffocating me. I needed space, and the things on the floor were taking away that space. It was like I was trying to reach through a door for some help but what I was reaching for was too big to bring through.

This has happened to a lesser extent during lockdown, where I feel like I’m reaching for an entire universe on the other side of my computer screen but it’s so big, or there’s just so much of it that it doesn’t fit through.

What I mean to say here is that Bo saying that he can’t fit his hand in a Pringle can could be taken to mean that he’s reaching for happiness but can only achieve it at a surface level – what he’s really looking for is out of his reach.

When he acknowledges the audience in saying ‘put your hands up’, he is, in a way, bringing to light the fact that everyone goes through this in some way or another. We want to get our own version of happiness, but sometimes the Pringle can of life just won’t allow it.

Not only this, but when he tries to think of a way around it – like tipping the can into his mouth – it leaves whatever he’s searching for broken, so he can only get some of what he was after and never the whole thing. It is there, hidden as crumbs of Pringles in the folds of whatever clothing he’s wearing, but if he doesn’t know it’s there then he’ll never look for it. He has what he needs, but doesn’t know how to properly put it together.

Also, the fact that the Pringle section lasts for as long as it does along with the double-bluff thing with having a daughter could mean that even once he thinks he has all the pieces, there’s still something missing from his life. When he talks about having a daughter, it seems like he’s finally moved on with his life and found something else to make him happy, but it turns out that he’s still hung up on what he’s missing from the Pringles. One good thing can’t replace another good thing, not in this instance. He’s hoping that his daughter could help him achieve happiness as he’d wished for it, but in the end he’s still looking for the same thing as he always has been, no matter the means of getting to it.

I connect more with the Pringle can than with the burrito (if anything, I don’t have enough in my tortilla), and maybe I’m overanalysing this and it is just a joke, but it’s nice to know that, though it may be confusing, there is a way to describe it.

Thanks for reading this.