AAAAAAAAlley

“Tour Guides”

This is somewhere to be.

Eighteen is volatile, impulsive and angry. He's like a misprint on Mickey Barnes’s prefrontal cortext. He exists to try and put an end to the label of expendable. To shake it off completely. He fights like a soldier, like Nasha, and he schemes like Timo. He wants to be the strongest bitch in the prison yard, but the Butcher used to eat guys like him for breakfast. Simon wouldn't through a punch towards the likes of Ryland Grace (he's not a violent guy), but Mickey 18 he would at minimum wrestle. Challenge brings out the worst in him, the worst of his upbringing as a Son of Eden.

Worst for Eighteen would be learning that Simon isn't as self-loving and assertive as Nasha. Worse than worst, he can be a lot like Seventeen. Another sniveling pushover, a chronic apologizer who will apologize over nothing, that will say sorry even to the Iron Lung itself for punching its walls. Devastating. Mind-numbing.

Why haven’t more people jumped on the Bloodymary17 train?

I mean full-on khaki-shorts-wearing, traversing-wilderness-with-nothin'-but-a-machete Adrian who yoinks snakes outta trees and pets swamp puppies and will unflinchingly dig around in elephant faeces for signs of a rare parasitic tapeworm if needed.

Oh, humans eat socially? No problem, Adrian has observed many many animals eat. Did you know that an obscure species of small underground dirt creature from the north side of Erid also eats socially? Adrian can give you a not-so-short presentation on them.

Oh, the human has no external carapace and so its internal sounds are absurdly loud, wet and off-putting? No problem, Adrian was just conducting an expedition last month researching the incredible eridian animal, the Wet Loud Worm from the south-east region of Wet Loud Wormland. They're desensitised, it's fine.

Oh, Grace leaks often from many orifices and it can be a bit of a learning curve to get used to? No problem for Adrian, see Wet Loud Worm paragraph again!

Made this post about 15 minutes after the repair guy who fixed the pump on my dishwasher packed up his tools and left, as the dishwasher was whirring along doing my dishes from that morning.