#johan ramirez

Esther was one of them, of course. His dependable big sister who could chase all the nightmares away, even now. There had been numerous times since he’d gotten out of the studio where he had woken up screaming from nightmares, and Esther had held him until he’d calmed down. He’d forgotten how much he missed her. Even after everything he’d done, she still stood by him.

Although, that didn’t mean she let his horrible actions slide. She protected him but also held him responsible for the shit he pulled. He appreciated that but tried not to rely on her too much to keep him on the straight and narrow. Relying on someone else to keep him in line had only backfired on him in the past.

In any case, he felt safe with her, safe enough to try and become a better person.

And then there was Johan.

The safety Freckle felt with Johan was different than what he felt with Esther. With Esther, he felt protected, but with Johan…He felt understood.

Like him, Johan had made terrible mistakes to ensure the success of his studio and had suffered the consequences along with his employees. Johan understood the guilt that came with such actions, as well as the reasoning behind it. Johan understood him in a way few others did.

And it didn’t hurt that Johan was also rather handsome. At least as far as Freckle was concerned.

“I’m really glad I met you,” Freckle said one day.

He and Johan had met up in the space between their dimensions, as they sometimes did, and were currently laying together on a couch, with Freckle draped over Johan like a little blanket, his head on Johan’s chest.

“Oh!” Johan was briefly startled by this sudden declaration but quickly recovered. “I’m glad I m-met you too, Freckle. But, um, is there a reason y-you’re saying that right now?”

“I was just thinking…”

“About?” Johan gently probed.

“People I feel safe with,” Freckle replied, although he almost immediately regretted admitting this. What if Johan reacted badly to it? They hadn’t known each other all that long. What if this was coming on too strong?

Johan’s eyes widened, his cheeks darkening with a blush. “I-I make you f-feel safe?” He asked, voice going up an octave. His first thought was that Freckle shouldn’t feel safe with him. Not after all he’d done. Sure, Freckle had done some similar things, but not on the scale Johan had.

He tried to push away that self-deprecation. He was getting better, he reminded himself. He had made progress. He couldn’t let himself forget that.

Freckle nodded, his own cheeks darkening. “I feel like you…understand me. I feel like I’m safe to be myself.”

He was being so weird about this, wasn’t he? It had been so long since he’d been open with someone like this. It felt…uncomfortable.

Johan blinked. Then his expression softened. “I-I see.” He started to card his fingers through Freckle’s hair. “Well, I-I’m glad you feel safe to be yourself with me.”

“…You…You don’t think it’s weird?” Freckle asked, looking up so that his eyes met Johan’s. “That I said something like that?”

“I was a l-little surprised,” Johan admitted. “A-And I wasn’t sure what you meant by it, but I’m honored y-you feel like you can be yourself with me.” He smiled, and Freckle felt butterflies begin to flutter in his stomach.

“Kay.” Freckle quickly ducked his head back down, returning it to its rest against Johan’s chest. “Glad…Glad you didn’t think it was weird.”

Johan couldn’t help but smile. Freckle could be so cute when he was flustered. Then again, Henry would likely say the same about Johan himself.

Speaking of Henry…

“W-Would you ever want to visit my world?” Johan asked.

“Huh?” Freckle frowned, looking up at Johan again.

“Would you ever want to v-visit my world?” Johan repeated. “I’d l-love to show you around and let you m-meet everyone.”

This made Freckle hesitate, laying his head down and curling into himself. “I…I don’t know,” he said, voice barely above a whisper.

“Y-You don’t have to,” Johan said quickly. “I-I’m sorry. T-That was probably rude to suggest.”

“It’s okay,” Freckle assured him. “It wasn’t rude. I just…” He hesitated. “I don’t think I could do it. I don’t think I could go back to any studio run by a Joey Drew.”

“T-Too many bad memories?” Johan offered.

“Yes? But also…no. It’s…” Freckle sighed. “I don’t know, it’s complicated. I feel like it would…hurt to see that happiness. And know I could have had that too if I hadn’t been such an ass.”

“It t-took me a lot of tries to get to that ‘happiness’,” Johan pointed out. “I-I’ve been through a lot of timelines.”

Freckle fell silent, subconsciously leaning into Johan’s touch as he thought.

“I’ll think about it,” he said after a long period of silence. “I don’t…I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.”

“Alright.”

“…Thank you, though. For offering.”

Johan smiled softly. “Y-You’re welcome.”