[1 February, 238 Before Age. Dorlu Prime.]  

This was how events had originally played out.  A group of Dorlun settlers founded a colony on an uninhabited world, which they named Dorlu Prime.  In time, they attracted the unwanted attention of the Tikosi, a reclusive, hostile species of aliens.  To help defend themselves against Tikosi raids, the Dorluns hired a trio of Saiyan mercenaries -- Orij, Kandai and Luffa.  But during the fifth year of the arrangement, the Dorlun colonists chose to cancel the contract.  The Tikosi attacked, and Dorlu Prime fell, but not before Luffa chose to intervene.  The weakest of the three Saiyans, she was unable to repel the invaders, and the Tikosi took her into captivity.   For months, they tormented her with their cruel experiments, until at last something snapped inside her, and she transformed into the Legendary Super Saiyan.  Over the next five years, Luffa blazed a path of destruction through the stars, establishing herself as the mightiest warrior in the galaxy.  Then she nearly met her end, attempting to unleash her full power to save the universe from a Saiyan cult.  But before she could breathe her last, Luffa was magically flung into the future, where she was recruited for the Time Patrol, a band of warriors pledged to defend history itself.   Finally, while she was defending the Time Patrol from their greatest enemy, the Demon God Demigra, he suddenly destroyed the Time Nest, and with it, all of history.

The next thing Luffa knew, she found herself back on Dorlu Prime, before the Tikosi destroyed the colony.  And just as she began to worry about living through that ordeal all over again, Orij and Kandai returned in their ship with very unexpected news.

"The Tikosi are dead," Orij said.  "I don't know how else to explain it to you."

For most of his time on Dorlu Prime, Orij lived aboard his ship.  He spent little time among the Dorluns, except for official business with their leader, Governor Coyto, and a few Dorlun advisers, such as their militia captain, Zatte.   For him, the Dorluns were just clients, with no more value than the currency they used to pay him.   Dorlu Prime was a convenient place to park his ship.  Luffa had felt the same way at first, but as the Saiyans spent more time on the planet, and as he kept leaving her behind while he went on patrols, she had started to warm up to the Dorluns without even realizing it.  And because she hadn't realized it, Luffa had failed to notice how indifferent Orij was to their fate.

Now, Luffa's twenty-four-year-old mind was somehow inhabiting her nineteen-year-old body, and she could see her father clearly for the first time in her life.  It wasn't just the Dorluns; he was indifferent to anyone except himself.  The stench of fear hung over him like a shroud.    It had always been there, but the younger Luffa had always been too amazed by his power level to notice the scent.   Once, Luffa had admired him for being the strongest man she had ever known.  Now, having lived as the Super Saiyan, she sensed his ki and found it truly pitiful in scope.

The problem was that Luffa's ki was, at the moment, even more pitiful than his.  At age nineteen, Luffa was no match for Kandai, and Orij was stronger than both of them put together, which made their hierarchy obvious.  As the Super Saiyan, Luffa had grown accustomed to throwing her weight around, and being as blunt and direct as she pleased.   Now, she had to defer to her father, and as she watched him being as blunt and direct as he pleased, she saw more of herself in him than she liked.

"How could they all die?" Luffa asked.

"We don't know," Orij said.  He had opened a ration-crate and tossed its pre-packaged utensils aside as he searched for his favorite ingredients.  "We ran across one of their ships.  It was adrift, so we boarded it.   The crew were all dead, looked like they turned on each other.  So we pulled their computer.  According to the logs, there was some sort of disaster on their home planet, and they were ordered to return home and render assistance.  Guess they didn't get very far.   So we had the coordinates for their homeworld, and we decided to check it out.   By the time we got there, everyone was dead.  Their cities were wrecked, bodies lying everywhere."

"Who could have done that?" Luffa asked.

"I'm not sure anyone did this," Orij said.  "It looked like an full-scale invasion, except we never found any alien corpses or offworlder weapons.  Nobody's that neat and tidy.   You just don't commit a genocide on that kind of scale without leaving some kind of trail."

"A fleet could have bombarded them from orbit," Luffa suggested, but Orij shook his head.

"That's what Kandai thought," Orij said, "but it doesn't fit.  A lot of the bodies had wounds from handheld weapons.    Blades, pistols, a few looked like they were beaten to death with whatever blunt object was handy.  Some heavy ordinance was involved, sure, but from what I saw, George  had been doing a lot of close-quarters fighting that day."

"Who's George?" Luffa asked.

"Huh?  Oh, that's just my pet nickname for the creeps," Orij said.   "No one knows any of their names, or if they even have names, so I started calling them all George.   The point is, if an outside force attacked them, then their enemy must have sent a ground force into every population center on the planet, slaughtered them all, then made sure not to leave anything behind.   Their dead, their equipment, they didn't even leave any footprints, and there's a lot of mud on that planet."

Luffa didn't need to be told.  She knew the Tikosi Hiveworld well enough.   Their cities contained advanced technology, but they used earthen structures to contain it all.  Their buildings looked like gigantic wasp nests.

"You're not suggesting that they killed themselves, are you?" Luffa asked.

"Why not?" Orij said with a shrug.  "Even if some enemy wiped them out on their planet, that still doesn't explain the Tikosi ghost ship we found.  The logs showed no one coming aboard before we got there."

"It's a trick," Luffa said.  "It has to be..."

"That's why I turned over our findings to the Dorluns," Orij said.   "I knew they wouldn't believe it either, but there's no point having us defend their planet when the threat is already neutralized.   If I have to, I'll take some of them to the Tikosi planet and let them see for themselves.  We'll continue as usual until they're satisfied, and then we'll go from there."

"You're going to leave?" Luffa asked.

"Unless they give me a good enough reason to stay," Orij said.   "To tell the truth, this planet still has its advantages as a base of operations.   It's conveniently located, but obscure enough to be discreet.  But I know these Dorluns well enough.  With their enemy out of the way, they'll start to see us as a potential threat, and they won't be too happy about us sticking around.  Besides, the Tikosi planet is practically uncharted, and there's no locals to get in my way...  I might just set up shop there instead."

"What about me?" Luffa asked.

"What about you?" Orij replied.  "You'd come along, of course.  Unless you've got other plans."

"I had some ideas," Luffa said.   "I just didn't expect us to pull out so soon.  I'd have think it over."

"Well you do that," Orij said.  "For now, we're just waiting for the Dorluns to decide how they want to play it, so you've got plenty of time to make up your mind."

"You'd let me go off on my own?" Luffa asked.

"You're old enough to take care of yourself," Orij said.  "Plenty of Saiyans your age out in the field.  As long as you don't pick any fights you can't win, you'd do well enough."

"Yes," Luffa said.  "I would."

She could see it now.  The terror in his eyes had always been there, thinly concealed behind a mask of arrogance.  But he still seemed different than Luffa had remembered.  He had been very domineering around her, but now it was like he was only acting that way to keep up appearances.   She hadn't picked up on it while the others were around, but now that she was alone with him, she understood exactly what he was afraid of.

As she turned to leave, he called out to her, and confirmed her suspicions.

"Luffa," he said.  "No hard feelings, right?  I mean, if you do go out on your own, I just want to know where we stand."

In the history Luffa remembered, Orij had betrayed her to the Tikosi.  He had been conducting secret negotiations with them during his so-called "patrols".   In return for his assistance, the Tikosi agreed to use their findings from studying Luffa to empower Orij.  In that world, Orij had told Luffa all of this himself.  He had recognized something exceptional in Luffa's mother, but he hadn't been strong enough to exploit her directly, so he abandoned her on the battlefield, and once he was certain his wife was dead, he plotted to uncover her secret through their daughter.

It had been a terrible shock to Luffa at the time, but now, it seemed painfully obvious.  He was afraid of her.   He always had been, and that fear had informed every decision he had ever made.  It was why he had killed Luffa's mother, it was why he left Luffa behind on a remote planet while he went on patrol.  It was all to keep Luffa contained until he could figure out what to do with her.  In the history Luffa knew, the Tikosi provided Orij with a seemingly perfect solution.   But in this world, the Tikosi were dead, and without them, Orij was lost.

"I mean, we might run into each other sometime," Orij went on.  "You could make things difficult for me if you wanted to.  I'd hate to find out the hard way you had some sort of beef."

"I should be asking you that, Father," she finally said with a smile.  "I mean, you're a lot stronger than I am.  You could kill me without much trouble, right?"

"Of course!" he said, just a little too quickly to sound as sure as he wanted it to sound.  "Of course I could.  That's not the point.  You could still cause me a lot of headaches out there if we wound up on opposing sides."

She couldn't help but remember the moment when she decapitated him.  She had replaced her boots a number of times, but somehow, she could still imagine finding his dried blood soaked in the laces.

"I have no quarrel with you," she said.  "So far.  You raised me well enough.  As long as you don't cause me any trouble going forward, I won't cause any for you.  How's that?"

She left before he could answer.   There was nothing more to be said.  She could have confronted him about the day he left her mother to die, but she couldn't see how that would accomplish anything.  It was enough to know that he feared her, and without the Tikosi, there was nothing he would dare to do about it.

*******

The only trouble now was that Luffa had no idea what to do next.   It was a relief to know the Tikosi were eliminated, but it made no sense, and she wasn't sure she could investigate the matter on her own.  What frustrated her the most was that there was no one she could really talk to about these matters.   More than anything, Luffa wanted to spend as much time as she could with Zatte, but in this time period, she was like a different person.  There was no way to connect with her, not without revealing a lot of details about a future which Zatte had yet to experience.

On the other hand, her husband, Kandai, was more than interested in her company, much to Luffa's annoyance.   At the time, Luffa had loved him more than anything in the universe.  Now, she remembered those emotions and felt embarrassed to have had them.  Their relationship had been one-sided and hollow.   While she had played the role of a dutiful wife, he had simply gone along with it, enjoying their time together, but always prepared to abandon her if necessary.

"You've barely spoken to me since I got back," Kandai said.  While she performed a medical scan on herself in their quarters, he lay on their bed with his hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling.

"I've had a lot on my mind," Luffa said.   "With the Tikosi out of the way, everything changes."

"Sure, but I didn't think you'd change," Kandai said.   "You always stuff me full of food and then lead me back here for... well, you know."

Luffa did know.  "When did you get so mushy, anyway?" she asked.  Among Saiyans, it was an easy deflection.   They knew the ways of romance and intimacy, but admitting it to one another, even in private, was a difficult experience.  If she made it difficult enough, Kandai would back off, if only to preserve his own ego.

"I just thought you'd want to talk," Kandai said.  "You're usually so interested in what happened out there, and you always had something to gab about that happened here..."

"You're right," Luffa said.  "I forgot about that."

"You forgot?" Kandai asked.

The truth was that Luffa couldn't tell Kandai about life in the Dorlun colony because she couldn't remember whatever had happened during his last patrol.  It wasn't as though she had lost her memory of those events, but it was all five-year-old memories.  It was easier to say nothing, and Luffa had gotten used to keeping things to herself during those five years that she had lived through but Kandai had not.

Had the trauma changed her that much?  Luffa had always assumed that she was mostly the same person all along.  The ordeal with the Tikosi and her career as the Super Saiyan had been life-changing experiences, but she hadn't really thought about how they had affected her personality.   Kandai's betrayal had made her cynical, and the destruction of the colony had left her distant to all but a very small circle of friends.   Now that she considered it, the Luffa of Dorlu Prime was very different from the one who had lived in Toki Toki City.

And yet, some things had not changed.  Kandai's scent was as familiar as ever.  She had loved him once.  On some level, she was tempted to experience that all over again, but it seemed wrong to indulge in such a thing when Kandai had no idea what had happened to her.

"I've been thinking of going off on my own," Luffa finally said.   "Get out from under Father's shadow."

"Are you kidding?" Kandai asked.  "He's the strongest one on the team.   We need him out there."

"No we don't," Luffa said.  "If anything, he's holding us back.  I'm stuck on this rock, and if you run into any real trouble you can depend on him to handle it for you.  We'll never get any stronger that way."

"Who needs to get stronger?" Kandai asked.  "We just need solid work and nothing to jeopardize it.  I know how much you like the stories of the old heroes, Luffa, but that doesn't mean you have to become one yourself."

"The point of those stories is that we need to push ourselves beyond our own limits," Luffa said.  "So we can rise to meet the challenges ahead, just like they did in their day.  The Tikosi weren't going to be pushovers, you know.  Weren't you worried about facing them someday?"

"Not really," Kandai said.  "Your old man was planning to make a deal with them one of these days.  He never would tell me any details, but he seemed to think we could settle things without having to fight a major ground battle on the colony.  Good thing, too, because this place is a kill box."

"A deal?" Luffa asked.  "He never told you anything about it?"

"No," Kandai said.  "Said I'd just blab the whole thing to you, and then the blue people would hear about it and that would spoil the whole thing.   So he kept me in the dark.  Why?  Did he say anything to you about it?"

"No, he didn't."

"Well, now that the Tikosi are all dead, something has him spooked, and I'm pretty sure it's not losing this Dorlun contract.  He probably had something big lined up, and now that they're dead he can't collect."

This was a surprise.  She knew Kandai had gone along with her father's plan to betray her to the Tikosi, but she never bothered to ask what Kandai knew and when he had known it.   Apparently, Orij had kept him in the dark until after the Tikosi had taken her prisoner, and then he explained the rest.  By then, Kandai would have gone along with his plan, either to save his own skin, or to reap his own share of the rewards from the Tikosi research.

But in this world, this altered history, Orij's scheme was undone before it could begin, and Kandai knew nothing of it.  He would never know, not unless Orij decided to tell him.  Luffa could tell him, but he would have no reason to believe it was true.

She shut off the medical scanner and set it back in its cabinet.  The scan was only on parts of her head and arms, but the results were clear enough to confirm what she wanted to know without going over the rest of her body.  There was no evidence of any of the past injuries Luffa had sustained between the ages of twenty and twenty-four.  This was obvious to her just by looking, but the evidence now went more than skin deep.  Her physician, Dr. Topsas, had performed surgery on her from time to time, and he had left microscopic burns on some of her tissues to mark his past work. It was a sort of signature, to let other doctors know that he had worked on a body part before.   Luffa had found the practice curious, but she could respect the arachnoid's professional pride.  But now, in her nineteen year old body, those marks were absent.

"Luffa," Kandai said, "are you sick or something?  Is that why you're acting so weird tonight?  Did one of those Dorluns get in a lucky shot?"

"Huh?   No, I... I've just been feeling a little off lately," Luffa said.   "Thought I should run a scan to make sure it wasn't anything serious."

"You ask me," Kandai said, "you probably just wore yourself out again.  You push too hard, you know that?   Always trying to do everything.  Hunting out in the wilderness, dragging your kills back here and cooking meals for the whole colony, and training on your own and with the Dorluns.  You need to slow down."

He patted the side of the bed and gestured for her to join him.  "Look, if you don't feel up for... it... well, fine, but at least lie down and relax.  Or are you going to pace around all night?"

Luffa tried to find some excuse, but couldn't.  She had been pacing in a tight circle the whole time she had been scanning herself, and she still was.  Whatever had happened to her, she couldn't explain it to anyone else, which meant she had to keep up appearances, which meant sleeping in her own bed with her husband.  As she flopped onto the mattress beside him, she tried not to look too frustrated about it.

"Now," Kandai said as he scooted closer to her.  "Tell me about your plan to go off on your own."

"Why bother?" Luffa asked.  "I can tell you hate the idea."

"No, I'm just not sold on it," he said.  "Not yet.  And even if you can't convince me, there's no harm in talking it over, so talk already."

And so Luffa did.  She couldn't tell him what was really on her mind, and so she weaved a tale about possible mercenary ventures based on things she had actually done as a Super Saiyan.  She had to scale down the details to keep it realistic, and occasionally it didn't sound like a sensible business strategy, but it was enough to keep Kandai interested for an hour or two.   As they talked, they occasionally shifted positions in the bed, until eventually she had snuggled up beside him, resting her head between his chest and his shoulder.

It finally hit her that it really was just like the old days, talking to Kandai before falling asleep.  The aroma of his body odor, their quarters, the dust they had tracked in from the settlement.  It was all so real.   Without realizing it, Luffa had finally gotten used to being back here. And for a moment, it was almost like the last five years of her life had never happened at all.

Almost.

*******

[2 February, 238 Before Age. Dorlu Prime.]  

Luffa awoke early the next morning and ventured out into the wilderness.  She didn't know what else to do with herself, and it made sense to fall back into her old routines.  Hunting for breakfast would be a productive use of the time, at least.

She met Zatte on her way out of the settlement.  She was dressed in grey combat fatigues, inspecting the perimeter defenses.   It was still surreal to see her right eye without a patch over it, and her red hair wound up in a bun just above the base of her neck.

"Heading out for more dinosaurs?" Zatte asked.

"Yeah," Luffa said.

"You okay?" Zatte asked.  "You're usually more excited than this when you're about to kill something."

"Oh.  Well..."

Zatte shook her head.  "Don't worry about it, I know how you feel.  This news about the Tikosi has the whole colony reeling.   It's a huge relief, but it's so sudden, you know?  No one knows what to think."

"You don't know the half of it," Luffa muttered.

Zatte pointed her thumb at the turret she had been checking.  "I'm not even sure why I'm looking at this stuff.  Military discipline, I guess, but now I'm wondering if we'll even need to use it.  What are you grinning about?"

Luffa hadn't noticed she was smiling until Zatte pointed it out.  "Oh, nothing," she quickly said.  "Just... thinking about the taste of a fresh kill."  The truth was that she had been remembering how diligent Zatte had been aboard their star-yacht, the Emerald Eye.  For much of their marriage, it had just been the two of them on board, and Zatte had practically run the entire ship by herself, checking and re-checking key systems with the same rigid discipline she once used at the colony perimeter.

"Hey," Zatte said.  "You mind if I join you out there?"

"Join me?" Luffa asked.

"Sure, it'll be like old times," Zatte said.  She held up a small satchel containing a logbook and some tools.  "I just need a second to put this away, and I'll be right with you."

Luffa couldn't think of a reason to say no, and so,  a few minutes later, they were running through the plain, leaving a cloud of dust in their wake like the tail of a comet.

"You think Governor Coyto will disband the militia?" Luffa asked.

"I hope not," Zatte said.  "The Tikosi were our only known threat, but there could be others in the future.  For all we know, whatever killed them might decide to come after us."

"My father told me the Tikosi killed each other," Luffa said.

"That's what he told us too," Zatte said, "but I find that hard to believe."

"Then what do you think it was?" Luffa asked.

"I'd like to think it was one of their enemies," Zatte said.  "They've attacked other species in this sector.  Our intel says they do horrible things to their prisoners.  There's reports that say they use their victims' bodies as cannon fodder.  They lay special eggs inside them and the hatchling can control the host like a suit of armor."

"Yeah?" Luffa said.

"Well, I don't know if it's all true -- I hope it's mostly rumors and propaganda -- but if any of it is true, then they must be completely indifferent to mercy.  Well, you can only push people so far.   And I think they pushed the wrong person, someone who could push back.  Someone powerful enough to make them regret what they'd done."

"Interesting," Luffa said.   "But if that's true, do you think someone like that would target the Dorluns next?  If I had that kind of muscle, I'd go look for better sport."

"I hope you're right," Zatte said, "but I can't take that for granted.  And if you Saiyans leave the planet, the militia will be our only defense against the unknown."

They came to a stop near a stream.  The local fauna had been known to come to this spot to drink, and Luffa and Zatte took cover in some tall grass and waited.

"Smell anything?" Zatte asked.

"No," Luffa said.  "But the ones worth killing are usually smart enough to stay downwind."

"It would be nice," Zatte said, "to actually go to the Tikosi planet and see things for myself."

"You think my father's hiding something?" Luffa asked.

"It's not that.  I want to confirm his report, sure, but I also want to investigate further.  All he and Kandai really did was to make sure they were all dead.  Now that we know where their homeworld is, we can learn more about them."

"I could probably arrange that," Luffa offered.  "I've been thinking about parting ways with my father.   Once I have my own transportation lined up, I could take you to their planet and we could poke around."

"You'd do that?" Zatte asked.

"I'd like to see for myself," Luffa said.  "If you're right about someone destroying them, that might be worth my attention."

"I don't know," Zatte said.  "Being stuck on a ship with you and Kandai?"

"Who said anything about Kandai?" Luffa asked.

"You said you wanted to go independent from Orij," Zatte said.  "I just assumed your husband was going with you."

"He hasn't decided yet," Luffa said.

"Well then--"

"To be honest, I'm not sure I want him."

"You'd cut him out too?" Zatte asked, incredulous.

"Why not?" Luffa asked.  "There's plenty of opportunities out there."

"Maybe so," Zatte said, "but you two just got married.  You were always so eager to see him when he came back from the field."

Luffa shrugged.  "Let's just say I'm rethinking how I feel about things," she said.   "Kandai's strong, but he's too averse to risk.   Likes to play it safe."

"What's wrong with that?" Zatte asked.  "You can't collect your fee if you get yourself killed."

"You know what I'm talking about," Luffa insisted.  "Otherwise, you Dorluns never would have settled on this planet at all.  You would have found some place safe to go, instead of making a stand and hiring mercenaries to help you defend your claim."

"We have our reasons for staying here, if that's what you mean," Zatte said.  "Our kind value survival above all, but that doesn't mean we can just run and hide at the first sign of adversity."

"Exactly," Luffa said.  "There's a balance to it.  Don't bite off more than you can chew, but that doesn't mean you should spend your whole life drinking mother's milk.  If he can't understand that, I'm better off without him."

"Maybe so," Zatte said, but "I'm surprised to hear you say it.  You're so devoted to him, and he and your dad... Well, they're are all the family you have."

"I can handle myself," Luffa said.  "If I need a partner at all, I'd want someone I can work with.  Someone like you."

"Me?"

"Sure, you're responsible, cool under fire.  You've got a knack for assessing a situation."

"Are you offering me a job, Luffa?"

"Why not?" Luffa said.  "If the Tikosi really are gone, there may not be much work left here for you."

"Then I'd just have to find something else to do," Zatte said.  "This is my home.  I can't just pack up and leave because I'm bored."

"The other Dorluns could manage without you," Luffa said.

"They could," Zatte said, "and I might be able to manage without them, but that's not the point.   We Dorluns have an obligation to support one another.  After all these years working with us, I thought you'd understand that."

"Come on, you're not the least bit interested in going out into space?" Luffa asked.  "You used to ask me about it all the time."

"Of course I'm interested in the wider universe," Zatte said.  "And if I didn't have responsibilities, I might go wandering around out there like you Saiyans.  But I've got a duty here.  No, a trip out to the Tikosi planet will just have to do.  Maybe a supply run when the time comes, but with any luck we won't need one for a few years."

"Oh," Luffa said.

"Well don't take it so hard," Zatte said.  "I'm flattered you'd ask, and it's tempting, I won't deny that.  You really think I could succeed out there?"

"I know you would," Luffa said.  For Luffa, it was beyond confidence; she had already seen Zatte do it.

"I'd probably drive you crazy, though," Zatte said.  "The two of us, stuck on some ship together in the middle of nowhere."

"That doesn't sound so bad to me," Luffa said.  The truth was, she couldn't imagine anything happier.  "We're out here alone right now, and it's not so bad, is it?"

"That's true," Zatte said.  "You're right, it has been a while.  I guess I forgot how much I enjoyed tooling around out here like this."

As Zatte was speaking, Luffa caught the scent of one of Dorlu Prime's more delicious reptiles.   "I've got something," she said.  "Headed right for us."

The grasses on the other side of the stream were taller than Luffa and Zatte combined.   The dinosaur that emerged from them was a carnivore, dried blood caked on the edges of its mouth from its last meal.  It lumbered toward the water and lowered its head to drink, and Luffa planted her hands on the ground to prepare herself.

"You're going to jump it?" Zatte asked.

"No," Luffa said after a moment to consider her next move.   "I'll distract it.  You take the shot."

"Me?  All I've got is my sidearm," Zatte said.

"That'll be enough," Luffa assured her.  She held up her finger and pointed at the side of her head.  "Aim for the head, and you should have enough power in that pop gun of yours to take it down."

"At this range?  Maybe if was standing still, but while it's moving?"

"You can do it," Luffa said.  "I'm sure of it."

And without waiting for her to argue the matter further, Luffa darted out of their hiding place and scurried towards her prey.  The dinosaur reared back with surprise when it saw her coming, and then it snapped its jaws and made threatening noises when she kept moving closer.

Luffa shuffled from one side to the next, then, just as the animal became irritated enough to lunge after her, she leaped into the air and flew over his head.

"That's it," she said under her breath.  "Keep watching me..."

And then, almost right when Luffa expected it, a bolt of green plasma shot out from the grass, striking the dinosaur's skull and bursting out the other side.  It stumbled forward, then collapsed into a heap, dying before it even hit the ground.

Luffa glanced back to find Zatte standing up from the grass.  "How was that?" she asked with a proud smile.

It was perfect.   Better than perfect.   During their marriage in the near future, they had used such tactics on battlefields across the galaxy.   Luffa had thought that those days were long gone, never to return again.  But now... now.

"Hey, are you crying?" Zatte asked as Luffa landed beside her.  "Did I do something wrong, because I didn't think Saiyans could get allergies... huh?"

Without thinking, Luffa simply reached out and embraced her.  The familiar Dorlun scent was like heaven in her nostrils.  The smell of ionized metal from the hot barrel of her pistol only made the aroma that much more powerful.   Caught up in the emotion of it all, Luffa couldn't help but kiss her.

For a moment, all was right with the universe.  She had her beloved wife in her arms again, and this time she would let nothing come between them. Not the Tikosi, not the Saiyans, and not the Time Patrol.  And as Luffa wept with joy, the moment suddenly came to an end.

Zatte pushed her away.

"Uh, did I miss something?" Zatte asked, more bewildered than upset, but the awkward smile on her face was one of confusion rather than affection.

It was like a splash of cold water on Luffa's face.  She blinked twice, and finally forced herself to see Zatte as she was, rather than the older version Luffa had longed for.

"I'm... sorry," Luffa said.  "I got... I lost my head there."

"Don't apologize for my sake," Zatte said.  "You're a good kisser.  I just didn't think you did that sort of thing.   You get flustered just talking about Kandai, and you two are married."

"I..."  Luffa suddenly felt extremely self-conscious.  Zatte was right, Saiyans were normally very private with their displays of affection.   What she had just done made all the sense in the world for a Saiyan and her wife, but for a Saiyan and a professional acquaintance, it was completely salacious.

"Wow," Zatte said, still reeling from the experience.  "You, uh... yeah.  I didn't think you were interested in aliens, either.    Or, you know..."

"I shouldn't have done that," Luffa said.  "I wasn't thinking."

"It's okay," Zatte said.  "Well, unless Kandai finds out.  Maybe we should just keep this between us."

"I'd appreciate that," Luffa said.  She could tell she was blushing.  Her insides felt like they were boiling with embarrassment.  The fact that Zatte could tell that for herself only made it worse.

"It'd probably be better if we weren't seen coming back to the settlement together, then," Zatte said.  "And you probably need some time to prepare this kill, so why I don't I go on ahead?"

"Good idea," Luffa said.  She quickly looked back at the carcass.  She had practically forgotten about it until Zatte mentioned it.  "I'll... uh... I'll give you a few minutes' head start."

Zatte stepped beside her and put her hand on Luffa's shoulder as they looked at the dinosaur together.  "Well, I'd better get moving.  And Luffa?"

She leaned over and gave her a peck on the cheek.  Luffa nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Let's do this again some time," Zatte said before running off in the direction of the colony.

Luffa put her hand to her cheek and watched her go.  She turned her wide-eyed stare back to the dinosaur, but even thought she was looking right at it, she did not see it.

*******

The rest of the morning went very smoothly.  Luffa brought the dinosaur back to the settlement, where she cooked it and prepared lunch for the entire colony.  Her father did not leave his quarters, telling anyone who asked that he wished to be alone "to think".  Kandai spent some time among the Dorluns, but he was too busy answering questions about the Tikosi to spend much time around Luffa.

Zatte had organized another training drill for the militia that afternoon, and Luffa had agreed to participate, though she found it awkward how much more cheery Zatte was while speaking to her.  Luffa noticed a certain sway in her walk as she left.   It was more like the Zatte she remembered from her marriage, though not exactly.

"Gonna clobber them again?" Kandai asked as Luffa watched Zatte leave.  He was holding a plate loaded with grilled dinosaur meat.

"Yeah," Luffa said, hoping Kandai hadn't picked up anything in Zatte's body language.

"What's the point?" Kandai asked.  "There's no one left for them to fight."

"Zatte's worried some other threat might show up," Luffa said.  "Besides, if they want to spar with me, let them.  I don't need an excuse."

"Oh, I get it," Kandai said.   He picked up a piece of meat and tore off a bite with his teeth.  "She likes you."

Luffa's blood ran cold.  "What?  It's not like that--"

"Sure it is," Kandai said as he chewed.   "You're practically family to these people.  Of course Zatte wants another lesson from you.  She's probably learned more about combat readiness from you than she would in a dozen military schools."

"Oh," Luffa said.  "Well, there is that."

"You know, half of them probably have a crush on you," he said, elbowing her in the ribs.

"Heh... Shut up..." Luffa chuckled mirthlessly.

"I can't blame them," Kandai said.   "You know your way around a kitchen, that's for sure.   Well, I should probably check on Orij.  Good luck with your 'match', Luffa.  I hope they don't hurt you too badly!"

Luffa feigned a laugh as he left.   When she had finished cleaning up, she withdrew to her quarters, but not the room she shared with Kandai.   Instead, she went to the small cabin in the Dorlun settlement, where she lived while Orij and Kandai were off in space.

"What the hell am I doing?" she asked herself as she closed the door.

She was trapped in the past, but the past had changed.  Initially, Luffa had considered letting events play out until she could decide what to do next, but there were too many changes, and pretending to be herself at nineteen was turning out to be much harder than she had expected.

"So what now?" she muttered as she paced around the room.  "If this is a time anomaly, I can't do much about it, not while I'm cut off from the Time Patrol.  And if I'm stuck here... do I just make the most of it?   How do I even know what that is?"

In spite of her indecision, she had already begun making plans.  Get away from Orij before he could find another opportunity to betray her, make certain the Dorluns would be safe, and use her knowledge of the next five years of galactic history to build a successful career.  She had even given some thought to her combat training, and while she wasn't sure she could ever achieve Super Saiyan again, she knew she could get a lot stronger while making the attempt.

In her current predicament, Luffa couldn't help but make plans.  And yet, she couldn't shake the fear that this was all a dream, or a trick, or some near-death experience.  Until she knew for certain, she could never rest easy, no matter how well she prepared herself for this world.  But how could she ever be sure?

And as she pondered this dilemma, she noticed something glowing in the corner.  One of the storage cabinets was ajar, and when Luffa could not remember having anything in the apartment like this, she went to take a closer look, and knelt down to open the cabinet.

There, she found a scroll, like the one that had brought her to this place

"The Scroll of Eternity?" Luffa asked as she reached for the parchment.   "Then... this is all--"

"I wouldn't be too hasty, if I were you."

Luffa whirled around and raised her hands to fight, but when she saw the man who was speaking, she discovered that her apartment was gone.  In its place was a dark purple expanse, like twilight on some alien world.   There, standing before her, was Demigra, holding his hands out in a peaceful, welcoming gesture.

"Easy now, Luffa," he said.  His voice was supposed to be gentle and friendly, but there was no hiding the unctuous tone.   "I only came to check in on you.  So tell me, how are you enjoying your second lease on life?"

 [1 February, 238 Before Age]  

"Stop her!  She's just one woman!"

Captain Zatte of the Dorlun militia was trying to get her troops motivated, but they all knew how hollow her words were.  There were fifty of them, but their opponent in this exercise was a Saiyan, with phenomenal strength and speed.

Luffa remembered the purpose of these drills very well.   The Dorlu Prime colony was under threat by the alien Tikosi, and Zatte's militia needed training to protect their settlement.  To improve their chances, the colony hired three Saiyan mercenaries: Luffa, her father Orij, and his associate, Kandai.  And while Orij and Kandai roamed the sector in their spaceship, Luffa was left behind to hold the fort.   Bored, Luffa made it her business to teach the Dorluns how to fight.   The fifty-on-one sparring contests didn't offer much excitement, but it was better than nothing.

Defeating the entire militia was simple. Not only was Luffa powerful enough to subdue them all in a matter of minutes, but she had done all of this before.  From her perspective, this drill was literally ancient history.

What would happen was this: In a few months' time, the colony would be overrun by a Tikosi attack.   Luffa would be taken captive by the Tikosi and experimented upon to learn the secret of the Saiyan zenkai, the ability to gain great strength after recovering from near-fatal injury.   They would push her body to greater and greater power levels, until Luffa would surprise them all by transforming into a Super Saiyan.  Luffa would soon become a legend in her own time, staking a reputation as the most powerful warrior in the galaxy, if not the universe.  She would sacrifice her life to save that universe from the wicked Saiyan, King Rehval III, but before she could die, she would then be transported through time, where she would be recruited into the Time Patrol.   Stranded ten centuries in the future, Luffa would fight on against the threat of Demigra, the self-styled Demon God.   Demigra would then usurp the position of the Supreme Kai of Time, absorb the power of the Divine Tokitoki Bird, and destroy the Time Nest and the Scroll of Eternity.

And then, somehow, as a result of all of that, Luffa would be flung back to her own past.  She had awakened on Dorlu Prime.  Her body was nineteen years old, but her mind still recalled everything that happened to her up to the battle with Demigra.  She had no idea how this had happened, or what to do about it.   For the time being, she decided to play along and relive her past experiences until she got a lead.   Then someone punched her in the face.

"I got her!  Did you guys see that?  I actually got her!"

Luffa had been so busy woolgathering that she had lost track of the match.   The exercise depended on her holding back, but her nineteen-year-old body was far weaker than she remembered, and her twenty-four-year-old mind was having trouble adjusting.  She was holding back a little more than she should have been, and one of the last seven Dorluns managed to get in a lucky shot.

"Great, Otta!" Zatte called from the sidelines.   "Now don't get careless!  Keep up the pressure before she--Look out!"

Luffa recovered quickly, and grabbed Otta by the arm and swung him into three of the others.  That kept them busy long enough for her to dispatch the remaining three Dorluns, and in a matter of seconds, the exercise was over.

"Fifteen minutes, six seconds!" Zatte announced after blowing on a whistle.  "That's a big improvement, people!  All right, pick yourselves up and head for the showers.  Let's move!"

Luffa normally would have gone straight for Zatte to discuss the match and offer feedback on the soldiers' performance.  This time, she went to Otta, and held out her hand to help him up.

"Tagged me pretty good, Otta," Luffa said with a smile.   She oversold the effects of his strike, wincing with one eye and rubbing her cheek with her free hand.

His green eyes bulged from his skull, and his blue skin turned a shade of purple as he took her hand.  "Uh... thanks!" he said.   "I mean... sorry!  But, you know, we're supposed to..."

She secured her grip and hauled him to his feet as easily as lifting a feather off the ground.  "You're supposed to come at me with everything you have," Luffa said.  "Don't apologize.  You've done well.  Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to talk with your boss."

"Sure, sure!"  Otta said.  "Uh... it was nice talking with you, Luffa!"

"What was that all about?" Zatte asked as Otta jogged off to catch up with the others.

"Oh, I heard he had a crush on me," Luffa said.  "So I couldn't resist giving him a little attention."

"What's with you today?" Zatte asked.   As the militia troops headed for the settlement, the two of them walked in the opposite direction, toward the dusty wilderness that made up much of the planet.

"Nothing," Luffa said.   "I'm fine."

"Don't hand me that," Zatte said.   "You were late for the drill, and you're never late.  Everyone knows how much you love these little fifty-on-one scraps.  Then I come to get you and find you standing around in your quarters in your underwear, with your finger in your ear.  And then you put up the sloppiest performance I've ever seen from you, and now you're flirting with Otta."

Luffa couldn't help but smile.  It had been too long since she had heard Zatte's voice.  A few years from now, they would marry.  Even though this past version of Zatte didn't know that yet, Luffa still cherished their reunion.

"Who told you Otta had a crush on you, anyway?" Zatte asked.

Luffa wanted to reply with: "You will, a few years from now."  But instead she kept her answer as vague as she could.   "I hear things," she said.  "It's a small settlement.  Word gets around."

"Yeah, but it's not like you make small talk with the colonists," Zatte said.   "Aside from me, and maybe Governor Coyto, the others only see you around here at mealtime."

Luffa regretted that.  At the time, she had maintained a certain distance from the Dorluns.  She had told herself that it was for the sake of professionalism, that they were clients, not friends.  The truth was that they were her only companions during the long weeks when her father and Kandai were out in space.  She had taken them for granted, not just because she thought they would always be there, but because she looked down on them for not being Saiyans.  She wished that she had appreciated them more while she had the chance.

And now it seemed like that chance had come again.

"We're talking now," Luffa said.  "What's on your mind?"

"I think your dad is going to pull out," Zatte said.

She was right, but Luffa wasn't sure how to tell her that.   "Oh?" was the only response she could come up with.

"You keep telling me that he loves using this planet as a base," Zatte said.  "It's perfect for him to head out to the neighboring sectors and seek out more lucrative contracts, so it's worth it to stick around even though we can't pay him very much.    But he spends more and more time out in space, so either he's having trouble finding new clients, or the ones he's finding are further away.   Sooner or later, he's going to ditch us and find a new place to dock his ship, and when that happens, the Tikosi will swoop in for the kill."

The truth was even harsher than she realized.  Luffa didn't know exactly what her father was doing on his long trips, but at least part of his time was spent in secret negotiations with the Tikosi, offering them a clear shot at Dorlu Prime and his own daughter to use as a subject for their study of Saiyan biology.  It still troubled her to think of it, but she could never forget the day when Orij visited her in the Tikosi laboratory, and bragged about his role in their plot.   In return for his assistance, the Tikosi had agreed to use their research to enhance his own powers.   And Kandai, her husband, had stood idly by and let it all happen, without even trying to warn her.

It disgusted Luffa to think about it.  She wanted to suggest to Zatte that they turn the guns on Orij's ship when it returned to the Dorlu Prime, and shoot them out of the sky before they could reach the atmosphere.   But that would leave them vulnerable to the Tikosi, with no means of escape.   The Dorluns had dismantled their own ships when they first arrived on this planet, and it would take weeks for anyone else to evacuate them all, even if anyone was willing to do so.

"I thought maybe if the militia showed greater progress," Zatte went on, "we might be able to work something out, with or without you Saiyans.  But I'm beginning to think it might be best to cut ties with your father ourselves.  At least that way we do it on our own terms, and we can focus our resources on non-military options.  Well... nothing's set in stone, but that's the sense I get right now."

"It'll be all right," Luffa lied.  "Don't worry about it."

"Of course," Zatte said.  "What else would I expect from the girl who never worries about anything?  You're the strongest person on this planet, and if things got bad, you can always fly off with your father to someplace else."

She was right, of course.   When the Tikosi did attack in earnest, Luffa was away, fighting deathmatches on Plutark VII for sport.  She did return to help Zatte defend the colony, but it was too little, too late.

As she struggled to find some way to reassure Zatte, it suddenly occurred to Luffa just how trapped she was in this predicament.  She knew the Tikosi would come, and that Orij and Kandai would betray them, but there was nothing she could do to stop it.   Warning the Dorluns was pointless, since they lacked the power to defend themselves.  Confronting her father would accomplish nothing.   The only way out, it seemed, was to allow history to proceed until she could become a Super Saiyan and escape.  Luffa did not relish that prospect at all.

Perhaps all of this was some cruel punishment Demigra had devised for her.  He had claimed that he would create a new history, built upon the ashes of the old.  Maybe he had arranged for Luffa to relive her ordeal, in order to repay her for the way she had opposed his invasion of Tokitoki City.

If that was true, then the only way out was to allow history to proceed all the way to her recruitment into the Time Patrol.   She would have to relive her life for he next five years, then get transported to the future, where she could warn Trunks and the Supreme Kai of Time about his attack on Tokitoki City.

Assuming there was still a Tokitoki City in the future for her to warn.   In Demigra's new history, perhaps the Time Patrol no longer existed at all.

"You're right," she finally told Zatte.  "I guess I never knew how it felt to be so helpless.   You have to defend this place.  Back then, I only had to make myself useful.  I never had anything to protect, so I didn't know how hard it would be."

"What do mean 'back then'?" Zatte asked.

"I mean now," Luffa said.  "And... uh, for the past five years.  It was dumb of me to tell you not to worry.  It's your job to worry, Captain.   And even before you got the job, you were worrying about it all along.   I guess I never appreciated that about you."

Zatte sighed.  "Oh, it's not like you didn't help," she said.  "Without you whipping me into shape, I never would have convinced Governor Coyto to put me in charge of the militia.  Not to mention all the military courses you let me borrow from your ship's database."

"Oh yeah," Luffa said.  "I forgot all about those."

"You said you studied that stuff for fun, but I needed it," Zatte said.   "Maybe you didn't understand that at the time, but you still helped me when it counted.  I'm just not sure how I'm going to manage without you."

Luffa didn't have a good answer for that.  So she offered a bad answer instead.   "Look, what if I arranged to stay here?" she said.

"You're already here," Zatte said.

"I mean if my father decides to leave," Luffa said.   "I can't force him to stay, but I bet I can talk him into leaving me behind."

"But you hate it here," Zatte said.  "You're always complaining about how dull it is, and how much you wish you could go along with the others on their patrols."

"Yeah, well... I've had some time to think about what I have here," Luffa said.  "Let's just say... I've got a personal stake in this place.  I want to see it through."

"What about your fee?" Zatte asked.

"To hell with the fee," Luffa said.  "We Saiyans fight for the pleasure of it.   The money's just a bonus."

"You'd be stranded on this planet," Zatte said.

"I'll take that chance," Luffa said.  "If the Tikosi attack, I might be able to capture one of their ships.  We can take it on a joyride to celebrate our victory."

"Let's not get carried away," Zatte said.  As skeptical as she was, the smile on her face told Luffa how much she enjoyed the thought.  "Even if we could beat the Tikosi with just you helping us, you'd still have to get Orij to let you stay."

"Oh, don't worry about him," Luffa said.   "What's he gonna say?  That he needs me too badly?  He keeps leaving me behind anyway.  The way things are, he'd probably tell me to stay here out of habit.   Father won't mind, trust me."

"What about Kandai?" Zatte asked.

"What about him?" Luffa said coldly.

"You two are married, right?" Zatte reminded her.   "Did something happen between you two?"

Something would happen, but Luffa couldn't explain that to her.  "He'll be fine with it," was all she said.

"Oh, come on," Zatte said.   "You two are crazy about each other.  You both act sarcastic about it, but anyone can tell how excited you get whenever he returns to the colony.  There, you see?  You're already blushing."

Luffa was feeling an uncomfortable heat in her face and ears, but it wasn't from affection.  Rather, she felt embarrassed to be reminded of just how much she had once cared for Kandai.

And as Luffa struggled with that painful memory, A device on Zatte's belt started to chirp, and she took it from the holster and held it up to her ear.  "Go ahead," she said.   "Already?  No, she's here with me.  I'll let her know.  Over and out."

"Let me know what?" Luffa asked as Zatte signed off and stowed the communicator back in her belt.

"It looks like you'll get to discuss your plan with them sooner than you thought," Zatte said.  "We just picked up your father's ship on our long-range sensors.    Should be landing in about an hour."

"My father?" Luffa asked.

"It's funny, they've only been gone a week," Zatte said.  "They must have found something interesting, or maybe they missed your cooking."

"You should put the colony on full alert," Luffa said.

"What?  Why?"

"Something's wrong," Luffa said.  "This isn't supposed to happen."

Luffa didn't know the exact date she had woken up in, but she would have remembered Orij and Kandai returning to base so far ahead of schedule.   It had never happened that way, but it was happening now.

"I know it's unusual," Zatte said, "but it's not exactly suspicious.  Remember when Kandai fouled up their main deflector and had to come back for repairs?"

Luffa did remember that episode, but she didn't remember anything like this happening afterward.  She didn't know what it meant, but she was sure it couldn't be good.   "Look, I can't explain it to you," she insisted.  "There's something very wrong about all this.   I'm sure of it!"

"All right," Zatte said.  "You can fly me back to base and we'll check it out.   But I'm not ordering a colony-wide alert on a bad feeling, Luffa."

Luffa wanted to argue the point, or appeal to Zatte's trust in her, but she knew it would only waste time.  Instead, she scooped Zatte up in her arms, tucking her arms under Zatte's shoulders and knees.

"What the hell?" Zatte asked as Luffa took off into the sky.

"I'm taking you back to base," Luffa said.  "Like you said."

"Well you could give me a little warning next time!" Zatte said.

"Oh.  Sorry," Luffa said.   She had gotten used to just picking her up whenever they needed to go anywhere together during their marriage, but this Zatte knew nothing about that.  Suddenly, Luffa became very self-conscious about the way she was holding her.  Cradling her like this, Luffa had brought their faces very close together.  Zatte didn't pull away, but she was clearly uncomfortable with such intimate contact.  At the same time, Luffa didn't really want to make things more awkward by changing her grip in mid-flight.  And the flight to the militia command center was mercifully quick.

*******

An hour passed, during which nothing happened to validate Luffa's concerns.  The inbound ship provided the correct clearance code as it approached, and there was nothing unusual about its telemetry.  By all accounts, it was a routine landing for the Saiyan ship on Dorlu Prime.  Luffa still insisted on waiting at the landing platform to be sure.

"You must have sensed their power signatures from inside the ship by now," Zatte said as they watched the ship slowly descend onto the platform.  "So you know they're all right, don't you?"

"You're right," Luffa said.  There was a loud hiss from the hydraulics in the landing gear came into contact with the ground.

"Then why are you still so worried?" Zatte asked.

"I just am," Luffa said.

Zatte shook her head and groaned, but Luffa noticed that she kept on hand on the handle of her sidearm throughout the landing procedure.  It seemed that Zatte hadn't dismissed Luffa's concerns completely.

She wasn't sure how to handle a reunion with her father and Kandai.  She couldn't forget their treachery, but in this time, it hadn't happened yet.  They might have been planning to betray Luffa at this point, but she wasn't certain, and confronting them about it was useless.   They would just deny her accusations, and besides, they were far stronger.   The sensible thing would be to act normally around them, but Luffa didn't think she could do that.

Orij was the first to disembark.   He ignored Luffa and looked straight to Zatte.   "I need to talk with Governor Coyto," he said.   "I guess you'll want to be there too."

"He's already expecting you," Zatte said.  "I take it something big happened out there, Orij?  You wouldn't have come back this soon otherwise."

"Yeah, you might say that," Orij said.  He finally glanced at Luffa, but did not address her.  Instead, he just shook his head and walked with Zatte in the direction of the governor's office.   "We'll definitely need to renegotiate our contract, but first you'll want to verify the intel..."

They left Luffa standing alone on the platform, as if she hadn't even been there.   She was about to chase after them, when she suddenly remembered that this was perfectly normal.  Orij would always deliver a report to the Dorluns when returning from space, and Luffa would have to wait until later to hear about it.

She had forgotten how unimportant she had been in this time.   After five years of being the Legendary Super Saiyan, she had gotten used to being the center of attention.

"You didn't miss much," a voice called out to her.   Luffa turned back to the ship and found Kandai standing in the main entrance hatch.

In spite of everything, she found herself pleased to see him.  Looking at him now, the way he was before, it was almost as if the bad times had never happened at all.

Almost.

Luffa could only gasp his name as he stepped out of the hatch to approach her.

"Let me guess," Kandai said in the same easy-going style he had always used to hide his insecurities.   "You're upset with me about something.  But you missed me too, and that's why you waited for me on the platform, but you're giving me the cold shoulder now."

She didn't move, but when he put his hands on her shoulders and wrapped his tail around her back, she didn't pull away either.

"Well?" he asked.   "Am I right?"

"I just... I just wondered why you came back so soon," Luffa finally said.   "It seemed odd."

"Thought someone had killed us and taken over our ship, huh?" Kandai said.   "And you'd have to defend this mudball all by yourself?"

"Something like that," Luffa said with a pathetic chuckle.

"Well, I hate to get your hopes up," Kandai said.  "Hard to believe you're the runt of this crew, Luffa.  You seem to crave a good scrap more than me and Orij put together.  That look in your eye a minute ago, for a second I thought you were gonna take a swing at me."

"I just might," Luffa said, "if you don't tell me what happened out there."

"Sure, sure," Kandai said.  "I'll tell you all about it.  But that can wait till later, can't it?   I thought we could have dinner first, and then maybe..."

"It's about the Tikosi, isn't it?" Luffa said, looking him square in the eyes.   "Father wouldn't talk about renegotiating the contract unless it had something to do with them."

"It's nothing to worry about--"

"Tell me," Luffa insisted.

"Okay, okay," Kandai said.  "Sheesh, you always push me around because you know your old man would knock you on your butt if you talked that way to him.  You're right.  It's about the Tikosi.   They're gone."

Luffa was confused.  "They left the sector?" she asked.  "They always maintain a presence, even if they aren't planning an attack--"

"Luffa, will you shut up and listen?" Kandai said.  "They didn't just leave the sector.   They're not in any sector.  They're all dead.  Something just... wiped them all out."

Luffa was dumbstruck.  As she stood there, struggling to make sense of what she had just heard, Kandai leaned in closer, and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"So," he said.  "What's for dinner?"