#kaiho

when kento's eyes started closing from the sleep, jeongguk walked away to the bedroom to wait for you.

five minutes passed, then ten minutes passed too but you were not coming back. curious, jeongguk stood up from the bed and headed to the nursery only to find kento in his crib, sleeping snuggly with his soft toys while you had fallen asleep on your knees leaning on the side of the crib. passed out would be a better term.

sighing, your husband made his way to your limp body, careful to not wake up his toddler. he picked you up gently before heading to your shared bedroom.

laying you down on your side of the bed, he switched off the lights and walked to the living room, to have another drink.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

jeongguk must have fallen asleep on the couch in the living room as he woke up with a heavy head. last night's scotch did a number on him. the rays of sunlight felt like small needles piercing through his irises. letting a soft groan, he tried to raise his left arm to cover his eyes from the invading sun when he felt the presence of a blanket on him. he did not sleep with one. his eyes opened in a snap, small black orbs still trying to adjust to the brightness in the room when he pieced it together that you must have put the blanket on him.

after all he did last night, all that he put you through, all that he made you endure — you still had the humanity left in you put a blanket on him.

pushing the blanket off him, he sat up when his feet planted on one of kento's squeaky toys making a loud noise. he retracted his feet at once, cursing at himself but his features softened when he heard kento's laugh from another room. the toddler appeared from his nursery, crawling his way to locate the noise and on seeing his father he quickened up his pace. bam came up behind him, his always on-duty babysitter. as far as jeongguk remembers he had dropped off bam at the kennel yesterday when he first realized that you had run away. the kennel keeper must have returned the sweet boy while he was sleeping like a log.

jeongguk stood up and walked over to pick up the toddler, "hey buddy, where's mum?" he looked around for his wife, his eyes searching the bedroom hallway.

kento's small wrist clasped around jeongguk's sweatshirt drawstrings, tugging at them as he babbled some ineligible sounds, to which jeongguk let a chuckle.

it was almost time for him to leave for work so he walked with the toddler towards his bedroom when he heard the faint sounds and understood that you are taking a shower. you must have kept kento in his playing space on the nursery floor with bam on guard before going to the bathroom.

jeongguk put kento down in the middle of the bed, bam followed and sat down beside the toddler, his body shielding him from the open end of the bed. knowing it was safe to look away, jeongguk quickly freshened up and dressed up in his work gear. he was putting his jacket on when you finished washing up and stepped out of the bathroom.

"where is my badge," your husband mumbled under his breath, looking around the nightstand.

patting dry your hair with a towel, you could see that the badge was in kento's hands; the toddler tugging at its chain, but you kept quiet and feigned a blind eye.

after checking all the drawers, jeongguk turned around and saw kento playing with his badge, "hey, i need that back," he gently tried to remove the badge from his son's hand but kento only tightened his grip, his face contorting into one of annoyance as he babbled some words, as if scolding his father for trying to take away his plaything.

"cmon buddy, i am already late," instead of trying to pull it away with force, jeongguk picked up kento again and tried to barter the badge for a squeaky toy he picked up from the floor. the house is filled with toys. that is jeongguk's love language, he is awkward when tasked with spending time with his child but keeps buying toys non-stop.

"see, this one makes noise," he kept squeaking it, trying get kento's attention but kento held onto the badge like his life depended on it.

growing impatient with his cellphone constantly vibrating in his trousers pocket, jeongguk somehow retrieved the badge from the toddler's death claws and tried replacing it with the squeaky chicken but the toddler, as stubborn as his father, started wailing. dropping the stupid yellow chicken on the floor, he started making grabby hands for the badge.

"cmon, you're on my side, right? we will play when i come back," jeongguk tried to talk to his son but was only met with the latter's high pitched wails in reply.

the entire time, you had just been doing your skincare routine, not giving a second glace towards the father-son duo doing their drug deal. taking out some neosporin, you applied it gently on the back of your left elbow where you had sustained a gash from last night's ordeal.

walking over to where you sitting on the ottoman in front of the dressing table, jeongguk placed the crying child in your lap and kept leaning as his eyes took in the bruises he left behind.

you did not meet his eyes and held your son, a small smile on your lips as you started to sway him in your arms which seemed to calm the demon child down a bit.

jeongguk wanted to say something but found himself at a loss of words. he quietly removed himself from towering over you and walked out.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

it has been three weeks since detective jeon jeongguk has heard his wife's voice. well that is technically a lie because he sometimes hear you talking to kento, your voice dripping with affection, adoration and love and then the moment you are aware of your husband's presence, it was like you retracted yourself. he has not even seen you smiling either, only ever seeing it from the side when you are smiling and playing with the toddler.

jeongguk has tried everything; talking to you is like talking to a wall. you do not even breathe in his direction let alone reply to him. no words, no gestures, no expressions — whatever he asks or says is just met with pin drop silence. he tried getting angry at you for that, raising his voice, threatening to punish you for giving him the silent treatment but there was not even a change in your expression to any of those empty threats. yes, they were empty threats and a part of you knew that as well; you had seen the worst of him that unfortunate night, it could not get worse than that. and even if it gets bad, what is the worst that can happen? he will end up killing you? well, death does not scare you anymore. as long as kento is taken care of, you just simply do not care.

jeongguk even tried to go on a hunger strike; he refused to eat any meals. well, it did not make a difference because you weren't exactly insisting for him to eat. food was made and kept in the kitchen, whoever wanted to eat, whenever they wanted to eat, they were free to do so and in case jeongguk does not eat, you just clean up and clear everything. so the hunger strike only weakened jeongguk but there were no other gains to it. you were still the unmoving pillar.

at nights, sleeping in the same bed, if his hands even accidentally touched you, you would just proceed to take your clothes off; still the same emotionless face. jeongguk yelled at you one night — it was psychologically fucked up — you were not a prostitute, you were his wife.

"what's wrong with you!" his yell boomed in the closed space before he threw away the covers in a hurry and made his way to the living room to sleep on the couch. ever since, he has slept on the couch. he is too scared to witness that sight again. it gives him nightmares, he wakes up some nights in cold sweat. when he cannot sleep, he walks over to kento's nursery and sleeps at the feet of the crib — in the same position he had found you, passed out, that night.

nothing — none of that incites a reaction or a reply from you. sounds only come out of your throat when they are directed at kento or bam. you eat alone when he is not home, you take showers in the empty house and refuse to step out of the house. when he is home, he only ever sees you with a book in hand.

this one time there were no groceries left in the refrigerator. simple! you just stopped cooking. one day was sustained by cereals, the next day by instant ramen and when all of the packeted food finished up, you just stopped eating. this went on for three days before jeongguk finally realized why you had stopped cooking. he just thought you were angry at him and did not want to cook for him anymore and since you used to do everything in his absence, it took him a while to catch up to the fact that the refrigerator was empty and that you had not eaten anything.

"are you fucking sick or what? kento depends on you, he needs you to eat."

you did not even turn to him, quietly making your way to the nursery with a bottle in your hand.

he followed you and watched as you started feeding kento with the bottle.

oh, formula. that still does not excuse the fact that you need to eat. giving up getting you to talk, jeongguk headed to the twenty-four seven supermarket and bought as much food supplies as his car could fit. he restocked the kitchen, the refrigerator and went to sleep on an empty stomach on the couch.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

another week passed, when on one fine sunday morning, jeongguk swallowed his ego and contacted kim tanaz. he was at his wit's end, he does not know anymore how to fix this. he needs to hear your voice, he needs to hear your laugh or he is going to crazy.

your dear friend refused at first but jeongguk insisted that you needed her. finding no further reason to reject the invitation, tanaz had begrudgingly agreed. it isn't like tanaz does not want to talk to you, it is just the fact that it's jeon jeongguk that contacted her. that raised red flags in her mind. had it been you calling her over, she would run to you and baby kento.

when the bell rang, jeongguk was overjoyed to open the door, if he was on better terms with tanaz, he would have hugged her, "thank you so much for coming," his smile was blinding.

"you broke her, didn't you?" tanaz asked, her voice unsure. she cannot forget that aura this man had exuded that night. she just cannot get over that.

completely glossing over that comment, jeongguk ushered her inside, closing the door behind her, "y/n doesn't know you're here so it'll be a pleasant surprise."

"is... is she okay?" there was a desperation in tanaz's voice. she sounded terrified.

"she just needs to talk, i guess," jeongguk flashed another smile before showing her to the bedroom where you were reading a book while kento slept curled up under the covers.

jeongguk sat on the small stool in kento's nursery. since the nursery was just on the other side of the bedroom, he could hear you. he did not care what you talk about with your friend, he just wants to hear your voice, that is enough.

"what did he do?" tanaz's voice was stern as she made her way to her childhood best friend and sat on the edge of the bed facing her.

"how are you?" you asked instead, after clearing the lump in your throat.

"i asked you something, y/n," tanaz reiterated.

"could you quickly check up kento? i haven't been able to make the paediatrician's appointments..."

"y/n...," tanaz interrupted but you continued.

"... i have recently started giving him formula. i am also giving him some mashed rice but mostly breastfeeding."

sighing tanaz turned to kento, "he will be fine, he has you for his mom."

"he is trying to stand up these days. he falls over but he tries his best. crawling isn't cutting it for him anymore," you mentioned, re-fixing the covers over kento, gently running your fingers through the wisp of hair on his temple.

you continued, "i think i should baby proof the furniture around here."

"y/n, i have to ask again, what has happened?" tanaz was gently patting kento's rising and falling chest, matching his breathing.

"i don't know what you're talking about. i'm not sure why you are here either," your words cut deep, your voice left no space for any empathy.

tanaz grimaced at such a reply, "uh i am here cause your parents have been worried about you. i think you should visit them with kento."

"they don't need to worry about me. no one does."

"you're talking like a crazy person, get yourself together," tanaz scoffed, "do you think that is going to leave a positive impact on kento?" she tried to strike where it would hurt you the most; questioning your parenting.

it seemed to work; not much but just a bit as your features softened, your eyes never leaving kento's, the eyes welling up with tears.

by the time a few tears escaped your eyelids, tanaz scooted over and pulled you in a hug. her hold was unmistakable, the grip tight and reassuring. she had locked you between her arms, scared that if she might just loosen the grip even a bit, you would disperse into thin air.

there were no words, you just softly cried in her arms, staining the material of her shirt. you refused to make a single noise, body vibrating to take in breaths between the non-stop crying.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

another week passed since tanaz paid you a visit. jeongguk still cannot get you to say a word until one day when he came back from work and head to the kitchen to find a pot on the stove. the stove was off and jeongguk was starving so he went to take off the steel lid when you swatted his hand away.

"it's hot."

"right, sorr-" jeongguk stopped mid-sentence as the realization hit him, "you.. baby, you talked to me."

you moved the hot-pot to the dining table with the help of mittens and served a plate, "eat it before it gets cold."

you meant to walk away but jeongguk caught your wrist to which your immediate reaction was to withdraw into yourself. he let go of your hand at once, "fuck, i am sorry but can we eat together? please?" his eyes sparkled as he stared at you, forcing himself to anticipate only a positive response.

you stood there quietly and turned again to walk away.

jeongguk grazed your hand this time, scared he will push you away, "please baby, i am begging you please. i will get on my knees if i have to."

you kept quiet, still facing the other way. there was a muffled thud causing you to turn back to see your husband on his knees.

"please, just eat with me. it's killing me, i just can't do this anymore."

it was pathetic, him begging for mercy on his knees — just absolutely pathetic. it hurt your ego a bit. he is supposed to be this amazing police officer, right? he broke too easily, you haven't even served him an ounce of what he made you go through.

scoffing, you walked to the table and sat down, arranging a plate for yourself. deciding against waiting for him, you started eating.

jeongguk hurried to the chair beside you and started eating as well, "it's delicious."

you chewed quietly.

"i know kento's appointment is tomorrow for the vaccine, i will be home around lunch and we will go together, okay?"

"you can take him alone, i don't need to be there," you casually mentioned, focusing solely on your food.

"you're dreaming if you think he'd last without you even for ten minutes. plus, i can never calm him down and the vaccine is going to hurt."

defeated, you sighed and gave a curt nod.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

five weeks after you came back following the unsuccessful escape, you finally stepped a foot out of the house, the house that you have treated like a prison the past few weeks.

there was a honk outside, jeongguk's car. it was exactly one o'clock and he was outside to take you and kento to the paediatrician's clinic.

with kento on your hip, you exited the house and were surprised to find jeongguk standing with the passenger door open. rolling eyes, you ascended the car and strapped yourself, holding kento on your lap.

the ride to the clinic went by without a word, the veil of silence broken by kento's babbles sometimes as he tried to beat open the passenger side window with the lollipop-shaped rattle in his hand.

you were sitting in the clinic, trying to hold down kento so he could get the shot but he kept wiggling away. your husband took over and held the restless toddler down, exposing his bum to the doctor who dabbed the smooth skin with a seventy percent isopropyl alcohol solution before pricking the skin with the needle. the needle size was bigger than usual injections and hence required more force to push it in.

kento's face contorted before he let out a loud wail, trying to wiggle away but jeongguk firmly held him down. you felt tears pricking your eyelids as you stood behind where jeongguk was sat on the stool. you wanted to take kento away, to make this pain stop but he needed the vaccine. trying to keep your hands busy you kept a hand on jeongguk's shoulder, gripping on the material of shirt tightly into a fist.

"almost done, bud," your husband cooed to your son, massaging the injected spot as soon as the doctor was done.

"there you go! he would need a booster shot in another six months," dr choi spoke after discarding the used injection.

you nodded, watching jeongguk stand up holding kento who was hugging his father, his head rested on his shoulder, fat tears still streaming down his face along with a string of snot.

by the time you walked back to the car to head back home, you tried to take kento but he refused to loosen his grip on jeongguk.

"it's okay, you drive," jeongguk walked to the other side of the car and ascended the vehicle.

you would have kept up with your silent treatment but since your eyes were constantly on the road, you could not help but ask him for updates.

"has he fallen asleep?" "is he still crying?" "does he want to come to me?" "if he's hungry let me know."

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

after jeongguk dropped you home, kento drove you absolutely crazy. he had a bump on his cute little bum at the spot where he got the injection. even an accidental graze there had him bawling his eyes out and he refused to calm down. poor thing cried himself to sleep every time he was reminded of the pain.

there was relief in the toddler's eyes when he saw his father at night.

"hey bud, what's wrong?" jeongguk picked up his son who was in your lap but he kept making grabby hands at him.

you raised an eyebrow as kento quieted down as soon as he was in jeongguk's arms. kento rested his head on his father's chest, his small fingers playing with the button of jeongguk's shirt. kento has never been one to be overly affectionate towards his father so such a reaction genuinely surprised you.

"has he eaten?" jeongguk brought you back from your daze as he walked towards the bedroom.

you shook your head, "he wouldn't eat, he has only cried himself all day."

"he's running a fever."

you rushed to kento's side and placed your palm on his forehead. he was fine just a while ago.

"try and feed him, i will get some meds," he handed kento to back you.

this time kento was quiet and latched to your neck, tired eyes closing up.

"hey hey, you gotta eat first," you reminded the child, much like you have reminded his father many a times and proceeded to lay him on your lap before breastfeeding. surprisingly, this time kento did not resist and latched on.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

that night, neither of you got any sleep as kento woke up every two-three hours, crying from the pain. his fever had lowered now but poor thing had a congested nose.

early in the morning when your eyes blinked open, you saw kento curled into your husband, whose arm was enveloping the toddler firmly.

you do not know how long you watched that sight but immediately closed your eyes and pretended to fall asleep when jeongguk's alarm went off.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

the next day, kento's fever was gone and he had started playing with bam again. his cackles filing up your abode.

your husband had taken a day off to be by his son's side and they played together for most of the morning.

you were quietly folding laundry when you heard jeongguk walking in the bedroom after he put kento to sleep after lunch.

"can we talk?"

you stacked kento's folded clothes one over the other, "kento does not have a fever anymore. we don't have to go to the doctor's, i talked to tanaz."

"that's not what i meant."

your hands stopped, "there's nothing to talk about."

"i know i can't ask for forgiveness but i can't do this either. i just went through five weeks without hearing your voice. please let's just talk."

"and i just told you, there is nothing to talk about. i am fine. this is what you wanted, right? pliant little housewife."

"i did what i did cause i was angry. you had run away with our son, y/n."

"and that excuses your behaviour?!" you raised your voice, unknowingly.

"i don't know! talk to me! tell me what to do."

"the fucking nerve you have," you turned around this time, eyes boring holes at him, "you think anything can fix what you did?"

"i don't know! i don't care! all i know is that i just fucking love you," there was brief moment of nothing — unsteady heavy breaths — before jeongguk closed the distance between you two, claiming a wanton kiss from you.

you could not fight him. well, mentally you wanted to but your body did not quite register the commands of your brain as you found yourself kissing him back. you grabbed his collar, not caring about wrinkling the fabric before pulling his face closer to you by the collar, kissing him back with the same fervour.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

jeongguk laid you down gently on the bed, making space for him between your legs and sinking down on top of you.

he broke the kiss, his hand caressing your cheek, "i love you," he left soft kisses on your lips, each one lasting longer than the last one. his other hand travelled down the valley of your breasts to nestle underneath your trousers. the pads of his fingers rubbing the slit of your entrance from over the material of your panties.

his touch was ghost-like, his lips ghosting over yours dipping down once in a while to plant a open mouthed kiss while his fingers worked your bundle of nerves.

short gasps left your lips at the subtle movement. it was like russian roulette, sometimes his fingers did not graze your nub but then sometimes it did, building up anticipation. your arousal soaked and formed a patch on your panties. feeling the faint wetness through the material, jeongguk pushed the cloth aside and finally touched you. his finger dipped in the arousal and lodged itself deep inside you. moving in a linear motion inside the wet cavern, his fingernail grazing along the ridges and bumps inside you.

your spine grew straight and dipped against the mattress when you felt jeongguk adding another finger in the mix. his lips attached to your neck, attacking directly at your soft spot, licking up a stripe and sucking at it while his fingers relentlessly worked your tensed bundle of nerves.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

"can we fuck now?" you asked after coming down from your high. chest rising and falling while jeongguk licked his fingers clean, tasting you carnally.

"no," he shook his head. using his upper body strength, he flipped the pair of you so you were on top of him. his curved hard-length poked at the flesh of your ass.

locking eyes with you, he guided his length to your weeping hole. the bulbous head gathering the arousal from your heat before sinking in, inch-by-inch. you propped your hands on his chest ready to ride him but it did not last long as jeongguk flipped you both again.

hah! you knew it, it was too good to be true. he would never give away his power, his dominance over you so easily. but you were too tired to fight anymore, its not just him suffering the adverse affects. it was eating away at you mentally. you just locked yourself up mentally, emotionally and physically for over a month.

letting go, you did not protest and let him take back the reins.

"i love you," jeongguk proclaimed for probably the third time that day before beginning to thrust into you. his thrusts were languid, he took his time serenading your body, kissing every inch between the slow thrusts. he used this newfound pace to reach deeper angles inside you, leaving red-purple marks everywhere around your neck and chest.

︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶︶༉‧₊˚.

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- jaimie