#ka-yu

Yasu pushed open the door to the café. It looked shabby from the outside. The silver of the door knob had turned dull and the white plaster of the walls had become patchy.

He couldn’t recall who had suggested the place. It hadn’t been him. Yasu had never been to this area of the city before. The elevator created funny noises while carrying him up to the third floor. Yasu regretted not taking the stairs.

Luckily, it looked a lot friendlier inside. In Tokyo, it could happen any time. You walked up some sordid stairs or entered a shady basement, and suddenly you found yourself indulged in luxury.

This place here wasn’t luxurious, but it seemed nice enough. The walls had been painted a light shade of pink. Everything looked clean. It smelled of coffee.

“One person?”, a young woman approached him.

She was wearing a dotted dress. Yasu guessed her to be in her 20s. A student probably, working part-time. Just the right age. Her face was pretty. Yasu would much rather have dated her today.

“Someone is waiting for me”, yasu said. “I’m a little late, they should already be here.”

“Just go through.” The young woman smiled at him. Yasu often got those smiles since he dyed his hair and wore more leather.

He smiled back.

Maybe he would ask for her number on his way out.

The tables were standing close to each other, making the place feel cramped and somewhat stuffy. On his way to the back of the room, yasu nearly knocked out a young man with his elbow. He had leaned over to scan the entrance. Probably waiting for a girl. Yasu gave him a short look. A few years older than him. Handsome. Yasu would much rather have dated him today, as well.

Finally, he reached the large table, banned to the corner of the room. Next to it, there were padded benches; not chairs like at most other tables.

Yasu slipped onto the bench with his back to the room.

Ka-yu looked up from the menu he had been studying. He didn’t seem surprised to find yasu in front of him.  From where he was seated, he had a good view on the entire room. He had probably seen him enter.

“Where are the others?”, yasu asked. “I thought I was running late already.”

He shrugged off his leather jacket, dropping it across the bench next to himself. From the pocket, he had gotten his mobile, placing it on the table now.

“They didn’t message you?”, ka-yu assured.

He sounded grumpy. Yasu looked up from his hands, that were still fiddling with the menu. Ka-yu’s hands could be pretty distractive at times. His facial expression seemed just as annoyed as his voice. He was letting his dark hair grow lately. It looked good on him. Lately, everything seemed to look good on ka-yu. He had had a glow-up. Or maybe yasu hadn’t really looked at him for too long already.

“Huh?”, yasu mumbled and opened his mobile. There were no new messages nor missed calls. “Nothing”, he stated.

Ka-yu groaned.

“They messaged me timely every five minutes to cancel. First shuji, then you and finally kiyo. By the way.” He checked his watch demonstratively. “You are twenty minutes late. I thought you wouldn’t show up as well.”

“I’m here, I’m here”, yasu said.

He hadn’t been very keen on the meeting, that was why he had been running late. To him, the idea to hold a casual band meeting on Valentine’s Day, so none of them would have to spend the day alone, had seemed stupid to begin with. Sure, spending the day of lovers all alone wasn’t exactly uplifting, but it was definitely less depressive than spending it with four dudes just as lonely as himself.

“I didn’t want to come, you know”, ka-yu said.

Yasu had turned his gaze to the second laminated menu on the table, but now he looked up in confusion.

“What?”, he said.

“The meeting today”, ka-yu clarified. “Neither you nor me wanted it, but they insisted, right? And now they didn’t even show up.”

Yasu gave a low hum and looked back onto the menu. The cake with strawberries looked good.

“Maybe we should be glad about it. I wasn’t in the mood for it anyway. Let’s just eat something, now that we are here already. And then we can go home and do something useful with the rest of the day”, he suggested absentmindedly.

There was a cake with blueberries, too.

“It just feels like a trap”, ka-yu said.

Yasu jolted.

Very slowly, he looked up again.

“You mean, a trap to trick us into a Valentine’s date?”, he asked carefully.

Ka-yu shrugged.

He didn’t look upset anymore. With the lightning in here and the pink walls, it almost looked as if his cheeks were slightly colouring.

“Well, they didn’t even tell you the plan got cancelled.” Ka-yu sounded defensive now.

“But why would they …”, yasu started, but suddenly felt the violent urge to clear his throat.

Helplessly he turned his head to check for the waitress. He needed a glass of water. The temperature in the room was uncomfortable hot, now that he thought about it.

“I don’t know”, ka-yu said a little hastily.

Yasu thought he had been good at covering it up. The way his gaze tended to linger on ka-yu’s arms lately, or on his lips, or – occasionally, when he was absolutely sure no one was paying attention – on his butt. No one would have noticed. It wasn’t even a crush. It was completely objective attraction. Ka-yu was handsome. Yasu could not deny that. It didn’t mean he wanted to spend Valentine’s with him.

He shuffled on the bench, realizing his body had gone tense.

“Did you order already?”, he asked. The silence after their last exchange of words was feeling uncomfortable. He wanted to break it, even if the answer to his question was pretty obvious with ka-yu still studying the menu like that.

“Yeah”, ka-yu said dryly. “Since I was first, I just ordered for everyone. I hope you’re hungry. We’ll have five cakes.”

Yasu snorted, but ka-yu’s sarcasm enabled him to finally relax. It didn’t have to feel awkward, just because it was only the two of them on Valentine’s Day now. They were still friends. They could still hang out and joke without it having a deeper meaning.

“Have you chosen already?”, a voice interrupted them.

Yasu turned to look. The waitress wasn’t the one who had greeted him at the entrance. She was also wearing a dotted dress, though. Maybe it was the dress-code for the employees here.

“Eh”, yasu said. What was it he had wanted to eat? Strawberries, bananas?

“Today we have a Valentine’s special for two”, the girl said with a beam as if she wanted to help yasu in his confusion. “It has all sorts of different fruits and extra chocolate cream.”

All sorts of fruits sounded good to him, yasu had to admit. With a short glance he checked on ka-yu. He had raised his eyebrows at yasu questioningly. Yasu knew they had had him at the “extra chocolate”.

“Okay, we’ll take that”, he said.

The girl wrote their order down on her notepad, then gave them both a wide smile that looked somewhat conspiratorial. It took yasu a moment to realize where that smile was coming from.

Automatically, he wanted to tell her that it was a misunderstanding. Not because he thought dating other men was absurd – in fact he had been in that situation before. But because it was ka-yu; ka-yu his friend, his bandmember, the person with whom it would never mean anything.

“We …”, he started, even while speaking realizing he was acting stupid.

“… would like some water as well, please”, ka-yu interrupted him.

“Sure, I’ll bring it”, the waitress promised and turned to walk over to the counter.

“She seems to think we are on a date”, yasu observed.

There was no need for pointing it out. Why did he have to say that? It would only make him more self-conscious and drive ka-yu’s attention to all the hints he was not meant to collect.

“Doesn’t matter, right?”, ka-yu said.

Yasu nodded and thought of how to change the topic fast. If they didn’t change the topic, it was only a matter of time, until yasu would say something stupid.

“Or are you embarrassed of me as your date?”, ka-yu went on.

Yasu pretended to be on the lookout for the waitress again. He really needed that glass of water now.

“No, no”, he said. Probably ka-yu had been teasing, but he didn’t know how to react to it. Denying it too violently would just look weird. He should joke it off. But yasu couldn’t think of anything funny to say. His own discomfort had turned him into the most listless person on the planet. “It’s just such a weird thought. Us dating. Right?”

“Right”, ka-yu said. He dragged out the word. He sounded suspicious.

The waitress reappeared next to their table, putting down two empty glasses and a carafe filled with a bit of water and a lot of ice.

Yasu didn’t even take the time to return her smile, but poured himself something to drink immediately. Then he drank hastily. The water was too cold. It felt nasty as he swallowed.

“So, ehm, what are your plans for later on?”, ka-yu wanted to know.

He shuffled on the bench. The small-talk seemed to make him uneasy. Ka-yu didn’t like small-talk. Neither did yasu. It always felt like a waste of time to him.

“I don’t know.” Yasu shrugged. He hadn’t thought about what he wanted to do once he got home. He had just thought about not wanting to be here. “Play videogames. Take a nap. Whatever.”

Ka-yu nodded, though he looked absent-minded, as if he wasn’t really listening to his words.

“How about you?” Yasu had to force the words out of his mouth. The conversation felt shallow and as if really, they should be talking about something else.

“What are we even doing here?”, ka-yu said abruptly and turned his head. He was staring at yasu as if he was trying to read his thoughts.

“Eh”, yasu said. He felt his cheeks heating up as if he had been caught doing something forbidden. But it wasn’t his fault. The meeting hadn’t even been his idea. He didn’t know why he felt the urge to justify himself so badly.

“Your cake”, the young woman in the dotted dress announced so suddenly that yasu flinched.

She put down a big plate in the middle of the table. The cake was heart-shaped. Of course, it was.

“Thanks”, yasu mumbled, thankful at least that she had interrupted their conversation.

“I guess, we’re having cake”, he told ka-yu and took up one of the small forks. It felt irritatingly cold in his hand.

“I guess”, ka-yu agreed and looked down on the cake. Yasu stared at it as well.

“The heart makes it so awkward”, yasu observed after a moment of silence.

Ka-yu snorted. He sounded amused, although the statement hadn’t been exactly funny. Yasu assumed he just hadn’t expected him to say it out loud.

“Ah, the whole atmosphere is really weird, isn’t it?”, ka-yu agreed with a sigh and took up his fork as well. “We should probably just relax. Just because they set up this conspiracy as a prank doesn’t mean we have to feel uncomfortable. There is nothing weird between us after all, right?”

“Right”, yasu repeated. This time it was him, dragging out the word. He did it without meaning to.

Ka-yu dug his fork into the cake and took off a big piece of it. The inside was light brown with chocolate cream. Yasu tried not to stare at ka-yu’s lips as he put the fork into his mouth. He tried not to stare at his strong jawbones as he chewed. He tried not to stare at his Adam’s apple as he swallowed. When ka-yu finally licked his lips, yasu knew that he had lost.

He was staring.

“And?”, he asked, covering it up by pretending to be curious about his judgement; not the taste of his lips.

“Tastes delicious”, ka-yu said.

Somehow, he managed to make the word sound dirty.

Hastily, yasu took a bite from the cake as well. It tasted mostly of sugar.

“It’s too sweet”, he stated.

“Nothing is ever too sweet”, ka-yu replied, already continuing to eat.

“Some things are”, yasu insisted and took up a sliced piece of banana instead.

“You should be illegal then”, ka-yu joked.

It took yasu a moment to process his words, but as soon as he did, he kicked ka-yu’s shin beneath the table. He did it lightly, though.

“Don’t say something so corny with a serious face”, he scolded him.

Ka-yu didn’t seem to care much. He was still eating. His half of the cake was nearly gone already.

“Ah, I thought since we are on a date already, I should do some flirting”, he said lightly.

“But not like that. That was horrible”, yasu said. He was chuckling, though. The teasing felt more natural than the awkward small-talk from earlier.

“I’m sorry”, ka-yu said. He was locking eyes with yasu now. His eyebrows were raised ever so slightly, his lips curling upwards at the corner. He looked cheeky. Yasu felt a weird tingling in his chest, like an uprising giggle. “Please, teach me how to do it better then.”

Yasu turned his head when he couldn’t hold it back anymore and started to laugh quietly.

“That was better”, he admitted.

Ka-yu fell in with his soft laughter. It was a familiar sound, that made yasu feel utterly at ease with the situation.

Ka-yu picked up one of the strawberries on the plate.

“Hey!”, yasu protested. “Eat the cake when you like it so much. Leave the fruits to me!”

Ka-yu looked down onto the cake. He had already eaten more than half of it.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry”, he said and then looked at the strawberry on his fork.

Yasu wondered if he was going to eat it anyway. Putting it back on the plate would only squish it.

Finally, ka-yu shrugged and held the fork out across the table to yasu. For a second, yasu hesitated. He could just take the fork. He had put down his own already; his hand was just resting uselessly on the table.

But the strawberry was wriggling so close to his face, that giving away his fork was clearly not ka-yu’s intention.

With a sigh, yasu opened his mouth and allowed ka-yu to feed him. Yasu had a strange feeling down in his stomach. Usually, he didn’t like being patronized and he preferred to eat by himself, thank you very much. But the gesture was also caring and affectionate and made him feel warm inside and happy.

The strawberry tasted sweet, too.

Yasu kept it on his tongue a little too long. He was enjoying it more than the other fruits so far.

Ka-yu snorted, looking out into the room.

Irritated, yasu turned around, following his gaze.

Both their waitress and the girl who had greeted him were looking over to their table. The waitress put on a wide smile.

Shaking his head, yasu turned back to ka-yu.

“Now they think we are dating for sure”, he stated.

“Two hot guys like us”, ka-yu said, reaching out across the table and taking hold of yasu’s hand still resting on the surface. He did it without warning. “We should give them something to talk about.”

Ka-yu’s hand was warm. Yasu could feel the touch all over his body. His scalp started itching in a good way, shivers were running down his spine, his chest felt warm and his legs turned liquid. Without meaning to he smiled before he could get a grip on himself.

He was staring at ka-yu’s hand cupping his own. It was such a sexy hand. Until he had started to look closer at his best friend lately, yasu hadn’t even been aware of how sexy hands could be. They were sexy body-parts.

Very slowly, he moved his hand, turning it around without breaking the touch. His open palm was turned upwards now, ka-yu’s fingers drawing light patterns onto it. Yasu watched his movements. The touch tickled, but not only on his palm, but also on his back and right beneath his ears.

He turned his head to look at ka-yu.

Ka-yu was looking right at him. He must have been watching yasu’s face the whole time.

“This wasn’t just a prank, was it?”, yasu assured.

“I was mad, because I thought they were playing a joke on me. I thought they had noticed, that lately … lately I feel strange when I’m around you”, ka-yu admitted.

Yasu smiled and licked his lips. He felt nervous, although he usually wasn’t the type to feel nervous. He wasn’t the kind of person who lost their head over some hand-holding.

Right now, he had lost his head completely.

“I thought the same”, he confessed.

“I would never have asked you on a date today myself”, ka-yu said. “Seems like they were just trying to help.”

Yasu chuckled and nodded back into the room.

“Just like those girls over there.”

Ka-yu leaned in, lowering his voice as if wanting to tell him a secret.

“Seriously? I’ve been watching the other couples, and I could swear our cake was the only one shaped as a heart.”

Yasu threw his head back laughing. He was still holding on to ka-yu’s hand.

“By the way, the last time you came over, I’m convinced my landlord was giving us encouraging looks. We should check if he wants to help us, too.”

Ka-yu was now stroking the inside of yasu’s wrist with his thumb. The skin was sensitive there. It felt good.

“Yasu, are you asking me to go over to your place?”, ka-yu asked. His grin stated clearly that he didn’t mind.

Apologetic yasu shrugged.