#jvhv

live noise show from like 2 years ago.

didn't even know i had this.

today's been productive.

mentally too.

long way to go but eh.

When I was 13, I had my first love... standing in front of a room full of old Jewish people and chanting a portion of the Torah. Here's the catch. I first had to give up a portion of my penis. Oh also just for fun they took out all the fucking vowels. Oh also I wasn't allowed to touch the Torah. Oh also I can read Hebrew BUT NOT WITHOUT THE FUCKING VOWELS. so of course i memorized. the melody. the words. But I don't regret it. Not one bit. Abraham made a fucking covenant with God, and I am a member of that tradition of one dude saying hey yo do you wanna make a deal hey sure why the fuck not wasn't planning on doin anything this weekend either cool dude let's do it yo awesome man.

My torah portion is called Vayishlach, you better fucking add that to the dictionary firefox. Yeah. Also firefox, that's underlined. Weird. Anyjews, so my Torah portion is about a man named Jacob son of Isaac who spends all night wrestling with something divine and human, the humanly divine (or vice versa) it's a divine thing but in the form of a human or something i don't know as i said i don't know hebrew by the end of the wrestling match jacob holds his ground and hebrew word normally translated to angel yanks out jacob's leg from his fucking leg socket and the "angel" is about to leave, but jacob's like hey whoa whoa hey whoa hey ya gotta bless me first fucker and the "angel"'s like sure why the fuck not you beat me and all. so he blesses him israel.

I've been awake all night wrestling both the human and the divine and come noontime tomorrow I face Esau. I'm bringing three Bibles: one a Jewish translation, the other a Christian translation, and another that Columbia University in the City of New York sold me. My therapist gets one, my mom another, and my dad the last. I don't care who gets which it's up to them. BUT IMMA GO FUCKING CHAPTER AND VERSE ON THEIR COLLECTIVE ASS. :D My Hebrew name is Schlomo Bin Avraham which means Solomon son of Abraham.

NO MORE MEMES???

too bad about the face

ok but when you’re cold you get frostbite and die