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I WAS HOLDING MYSELF TOGETHER SO FUCKING WELL I WAS DOING SO GOOD BUT THEN THEY HAD TO DO IT. AVERY HAD TO ACTUALLY DO THE THING. IMMEDIATELY SOBBING, CRUMBLING, LOSING IT, ETC. i am SICKKK
are you Derek "I have risked so much to prevent your misery because you're a person who doesn't deserve what I've been through,, I knew of you suddenly and knew I had to save you from the very moment I did,, I owe you a chance at freedom as I'm the only one who can help grant that,, you have so much more to live for,, I should mean nothing to you,, you shouldn't die with me,, leave." d3rlord3,,, or are you Avery "I have risked so much to find you because you're a person in a painful situation you do not deserve,, I know you because you knew me and chose to save me,, I owe you for the torment you've taken on your shoulders,, we could find freedom together,, bringing relief to you means everything,, you shouldn't die for me,, let me stay." TheMayo ???
* regardless of your choice the outcome is the same btw. it's about being stuck in a paradox of knowing intimately and not knowing at all. it's the push and pull of two people's selfish desperation to save one another. it's them inevitably being damned with sacrifice and survivor's guilt not in spite, but because of this. it's both of you meaning everything to each other in this dire moment and that fact being a catalyst for devastation.
perhaps more importantly, it's choosing to save them, or wanting to stay, instead of just taking freedom. it's being grateful. it's going forward.
favorite Gaster designs are the ones where he just looks. so kind. very gentle and polite old man. maybe a little ominous but not overtly threatening. peepaw
ONE OF THE BOOKS SAYING "Well, part of me feels bad for saps. He has no idea what's about to happen to him. But... If you had to betray one person... - to save a thousand... Would you?" PAIRED WITH DEREK LYING TO AVERY AND TRICKING HIM INTO LEAVING SO HE COULD SACRIFICE HIMSELF TO END IT ALL???? i cant do this i cant do this
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honestly the thing that unnerves me the most about Derek's in game journal is the page that just reads "the apple is disgusting" over and over again. what the fuck was he on about.
the King BEGGING Derek to take it back,, is what gets me. just. something about a man bringing god to it's knees, to desperation, in their shared destruction; listening to the pleas of something all powerful, crumbling, merging with his own dying mind, and standing firm in his choices because he's ending this. he's saving Avery. he's saving the world.
D3rlord's "I just don't want to be forgotten" is heartbreaking. because at the end of the day Derek is a person. an average person, with fears and wishes and things that he desperately wants of the world, like everyone else. and this shows us that the idea of not being remembered by others genuinely upsets him, despite how earlier he tries to comfort Avery with the fact he could forget all about him after leaving.
it makes me so unbelievably sad to think about; him having to grapple with that grief, in pain, alone,, during his final moments alive. god
