#junka

Tell me about it, sailor! Welcome to our collective nightmare fellow internet people reading this. My name is Krebs Gorlon and I'm here today to tell you about this dumb video that's nearly 2 hours long for some reason. I know y'all ain't doing nothing too important with your time so don't dare complain. Watch it in parts. That fatso Mike (aka Mantits McMooseknuckles) spent a lot of time editing this so the least you could do is watch it. Anywho, celebrity voice actor celebrity Josh Roger Thomas joins these aging Milwaukee hipsterclowns™ again for a dive off the cliff of misery into a game called Junka. This is a pile of unmarked VHS tapes stacked up like the game Jenga™ but not like that at all. Mike and Josh remove one tape at a time. When the pile of tapes falls down the other player is the winner and the gang watches his tapes. The loser loses. But really, isn't everyone a loser in this game? I mean, some of the things these boys sit through are pretty bad. The issue here is that Mike, Jay, and Josh were out the evening prior at a local "pool hall" called Bumps N' Shots (their signature cocktail is called the Cat Broom) As the night went on, a beer, a shot, a mixed drink, a beer or four turned into twelve. Then suddenly before you know it's bar close. The lights come up and the bar plays "Party in the USA" by Molly Cyrus to clear people out quickly. In fact, people run out of the bar so fast one might think there was a fire. One man jumped through the window. So alas with glossy eyes Jay says quietly, "Someone call Rich Evans for a ride home. I'm banned from Uber for sharting all over the backseat of almost every car I've been in." (long, embarrassing story) So the guys did make it home (short story). Josh slept on Rich's couch using part of a soiled mattress as a pillow. Jay slept in an alley underneath an unhoused person. And Mike slept on a pile of clean diapers (just in case). In the morning the boys knew they had to shoot - which terrified them all. A Junka shoot can last easily up to 12 hours. No joke. Setting up, shooting the Junka game. Watching 12 to 18 tapes, discussion and so on. The other problem is that the boys were hung over and the studio is very very hot in the summer. Dizzy heads were happened. The pain they went through to play Junka for you was intense to say the least. "The show must go on!" yelled Josh Roger Thomas (in the voice of screen legend Aldo Bellafontaine). Many times Mike wanted to call the shoot as he felt he might barf on his own pants. None of this shows on camera though as the boys are true professionals and can work through any scenario and with any clowns. Behind the camera you can tell Jay's a bit off by his sloppy and shameful "camerawork". Mike says it was a nightmare to edit. "Every shot is terrible!" he could be heard yelling in the distance. Rich Evans’ camerawork is usually sub-par. A static shot with little room for creativity, only to be used when necessary. often times il-framed or out of focus. Almost always uncertain of what exactly he's trying to film. However, due to the many many roadblocks and challenges a video was somehow made. The hangovers eventually subsided, more beer was drank to ease the nausea left behind from the excessive drinking the night before (hair of the cat-broom), and a healthy helping of Papa John's pizza helped to induce vomiting which quelled the nausea. Cold water was splashed on the face and crotch. Tylenol was both consumed and snorted. I mean, don't get me wrong, Bumps and Shots didn't over-serve. In fact, for Mike they under-served (that man can put it away with the best of them) It was the first and second bars they went to. I didn’t mention those did I? The night ended at Bumps and Shots. It began elsewhere, but that’s really not important where they went and why. What’s important here is Rich Evans works as an Uber driver on the side and Jay has repeatedly sharted in his car.

Me: WE’RE RIGHT HERE JAY