#jun series

Sliding into your seat towards the back of the class, you wonder why Jun hangs out with those boys? Why did he even join the fraternity in the first place? You’ve known Jun since the first semester of freshman year of university from being placed in the same orientation group and when you found out he joined a fraternity, you were honestly a little shocked. Shy Jun from orientation? In one of the frats known for the craziest parties? It didn’t sound like the Jun you met and have come to know over the years. The memory of your first meeting plays so clearly in your mind, as if it happened yesterday:

“Hey, do you know where we’re supposed to meet?” you ask, jogging up to the tall boy looking around campus just as you. Stopping in front of him, you greet him with a smile and you’re met with the tall boy’s wide eyes and stuttering mouth.

“I just noticed we have the same color tag,” you explain, picking up your lanyard to emphasize your point. “It said the south quad? I’m thinking it’s maybe down that way by the dining hall? I’m not sure.”

Looking up at him, raising your hand to block the sun from your eyes, you see him struggling to find the words, “I uh, yeah I um...I think it’s that way too.”

“Okay, cool,” you enthusiastically respond, heading down the pathway to where you had pointed. Realizing the boy was not next to you, you turn around, “You coming?”

“Yeah! Yeah,” he says as he slightly jogs to catch up with you. 

“I’m Y/N by the way,” you tell him once he is by your side.

“Jun,” he replies. 

From your walk to the south quad and freshman orientation, you could tell that Jun wasn’t much of a talker. He kept to himself. Even after orientation was over, you still saw him often due to having the same major and almost identical class schedules, but you never really spoke. You’d offer a smile whenever you saw him and he always returned it, however there wasn’t really much speaking. You don’t even know if you’ve had a proper conversation with him. When you’ve been paired for group projects, you mainly communicate through email. He’s shy, that’s okay.

Ripped from your reminiscent thoughts by your phone vibrating in your hand, you look down to see what the notification was.

are you ready for tonight?? i heard tchi is having a ceos and office hoes party👀

Sighing, you take a moment to think about the text your roommate just sent. You have a huge essay due in a few days that you’ve barely even started on...you really should work on that tonight instead of going to this frat party. But it’s a TChi party...and that’s the frat Jun is in...you’ll just wake up extra early the next couple of days to make up for the lost time.

i’m in, let’s goooo

Time could not pass any slower as you waited for the professor to wrap up class. “Now this marketing strategy is useful when blah blah blah”, you were just ready to head back to your apartment and plan your outfit for the party tonight. You’d never admit it, not even to yourself...but maybe you wanted to look good because Jun would be there? Is that that reason you’re so excited? No, you’re excited to go out and have a good time with your roommate...right?

Finally, after an agonizingly long hour and fifteen minutes, class is over and you can go home. You quickly gather your belongings, stuffing them into your backpack and walking towards the door. As you pass Jun and his fraternity brothers, you hear a voice call out, “Hey, Y/N, will I be seeing you at the party tonight?”

Turning around, to identify who was speaking to you, there are six pairs of eyes glued on you. Assuming the boy with the cocky grin on his face is the culprit, you narrow your eyes and retort, “Wouldn’t you like to know” and continue to walk out of the classroom. You weren’t 100% sure, but you think you saw Jun stifle a laugh as you exited.

You and your roommate decide to go check the local thrift stores for some button up shirts to complete your “office hoes” look for the part (how anyone comes up with these ideas is beyond you) and grab a light bite to eat. The rest of the evening is spent perfecting your outfits, listening to bad music on the Spotify frat party playlists, and pregaming with shots on shots on shots.

By the time it’s 10:00pm and the DD arrived, you’re already a little tipsy.  You and your roommate are a giggling mess as you hurry out to the DD’s car, swinging open the door and plopping in. The short ride consists of the young DD trying to flirt with you both (awfully, might I add) and your roommate going along with his attempts just for the fun of it. Before you know it, he stops the car in the middle of the narrow street and you two shout your thanks as you slide out of the car, preparing yourself for whatever scene you were about to meet when you walked into the house.

Passing a few groups of people who already had friends who are blacked out and vomiting in the yard, you make your way to the backdoor to enter the house booming with music. Twisting the doorknob, you are met with a gust of hot air and the strong smell of a concoction of various alcohols & kool aid packets. Your roommate grabs hold of your hand and begins the trek through the large crowd in the kitchen, making a pit stop at the island to grab a cup of whatever the strong drink was that everyone had. 

The entire time you’re walking through, you can’t help but search the room for Jun. Why? You’re not sure. As you continue your way through the intoxicated bodies to the stairs leading down to the basement where the music was coming from, your eyes meet with the same boy from class earlier with the cocky grin. You groan and bring the cup up to your lips, downing the sour beverage. You try your best to ignore him as you pass, however, he places a hand on your waist and says, “I’ll find you later, okay?”. 

Looking at him with the most disgusted look you can muster, you shove his hand off of you and follow your roommate down the staircase and into the basement where you’re greeted by the image of numerous frat boys grinding with scantily clad girls. Aaand this is why you typically like to stay in. Was the reason you came out tonight to see Jun? No...absolutely not...deny till you die, baby.

Your roommate grabs your other hand, dragging you out to the middle of the dance floor and you begin to move with the music. You don’t even know how long you were dancing for when you noticed your cup was empty. “Hey! I’m gonna go get another cup!” you shout over the music to your roommate.

“Okay! I’m gonna go over there and talk to some of my friends from class!”, they yell back to you, motioning over to a group of people talking in the corner. You nod and part ways. Making your way out of the sea of bodies dancing, you trip over someone’s stray leg and feel an arm on your waist catch you. Looking up, unfortunately, it’s cocky grin guy from class. You don’t even know his name, that’s how little you’re interested in him. 

Rolling your eyes for what felt like the millionth time today (at this point you were sure they would get stuck in the back of our head), you try to push him off of you. “Hey now, I told you I was going to find you later, didn’t I?” he says, the pungent smell of beer rolling out of his mouth and into your face.

“Ugh, gosh, get away from me,” you say, finally pushing him hard enough that he stumbles backward a little bit, allowing you time to start walking away from him. As you reach out for the railing of the staircase, you feel a strong grip on your wrist. Turning around, there is again. What does this guy not get? Can he not leave you alone? What is his deal?

“What are you walking away from me for, huh?” he slurs out, clearly extremely drunk. 

“I’m not interested,” you sternly respond, attempting to tug your wrist out of his hand. His grip tightens and your heartbeat starts to quicken, your tipsy mind becoming clearer due to the danger you felt. He continues inching closer towards you, his nasty breath growing closer and closer to your face.

“Dude, she said she’s not interested,” a voice says as a tall body stands next to you and easily removes the boy’s hand from you. You retract your wrist into your chest, rubbing at the bruise that will inevitably be there tomorrow.

“What do you care? Is she your girlfriend or something?” the drunken frat boy responds, clearly trying to pick a fight.

“It doesn’t matter if she has a boyfriend or not. You don’t just grab girls like that whenever you please,” finally you look up to see Jun glaring down at the much shorter boy. “You shouldn’t back off just because a girl has a boyfriend. You should back off because she said no. Now, get a DD to take you home. You’re way too drunk to be here.”

The drunken boy shrugs past Jun and stomps up the stairs, clearly angry. You watch him stumble past people coming down into the basement as Jun gently touches your wrist. All of your attention is immediate back on him.

“Come on, let’s go up and get you some ice,” he says, giving you a soft smile and placing his hand on your shoulder and arm to help guide you up the stairs. Once in the kitchen, he opens the freezer and wraps some cubes of ice into a random kitchen towel he found in a tucked away drawer. 

“Do you want to go to my room? It’s upstairs, so it’ll be quieter and you’ll be able to take a minute,” he offered, motioning over to where you presume the stairs are. You nod and his hands resume their places on your shoulder and arm, continuing your journey through the sweaty crowd of people. He moves the large piece of wood that covers the staircase so no random party goers can go up to the bedrooms, then you really get to see how nice the house was. You never would have expected this from a frat house, but it was actually well kept. 

Jun leads you to the second to last door on the right, twisting the doorknob, and opening the door for you. You can’t help but notice the stuffed animal laying on his bed of a cat as you try to subdue your smile. Of course Jun is the type to have a cat stuffed animal, you wouldn’t expect anything less.

You sit on the edge of his well made bed as he closes the door and comes down to sit next to you. He tenderly lifts your wrist from your lap and places the ice onto it. 

“Sorry about him,” he says, breaking the silence.

“It’s okay,” you respond, not sure what to say. You honestly were just in shock because this was not the quiet boy you were used to. He responds with a short, breathy laugh and a grin, the previous silence returning.

“I think this is the most I’ve ever heard you talk,” you comment, looking from your wrist up to him. You could swear you saw his cheeks start to become red.

“Maybe it’s because I’m a little tipsy,” he says with a smile, resituating the ice pack on your wrist. 

“I like hearing your voice...you should be tipsy more often,” you reply before you even have a chance to think about it. Maybe you’re tipsy, as well.

The silence returns for a moment before Jun begins, “You know the reason I never really talk around you is because I have a crush on you?”

Your heart drops as you search his face for any sort of emotion, but you couldn’t tell. He just kept holding your hand and situating the ice pack.

“It makes me feel like a dumb kid again, but...that first day we met, the reason I stuttered and stammered and made a fool out of myself is because...I don’t know I’d just never seen anyone like you before. Someone who’s willing to walk right up to a stranger and immediately try to become their friend. I’d never met anyone so genuinely kind like you,” he continues.

Your mind was blank. You had no clue what to say. All this time? Jun had...liked you? Had a crush on you? Has a crush on you?? All this time while you’d been wondering why he was so shy...it was because he...likes you?

“Plus you’re insanely beautiful...but that’s besides the point,” he adds on with a smirk. At that, you can’t help but giggle. You never would’ve expected the shy boy you met to be so flirty.

“Why would you be nervous around me, though?? I literally am so un-intimidating,” you respond, not entirely sure what to say.

“Come on, look at you...how could I not be?” he says, looking up at you, your face inches away from each other. Your heart races in your chest and you’re 99% sure you might be about to have a heart attack in this boy’s bedroom right now. Your eyes flick down to his lips as you start to slowly move in closer to him, lips mere centimeters away.

BOOM BOOM BOOM. “Hey, Jun! You in there man?? There’s someone out here looking for a Y/n? I don’t know who that is, but someone said she came up here with you,” a voice shouts from the hallway. Jun closes his eyes and lets his head drop down onto your knee. With a groan of annoyance, he gets up from the bed and swings his door open, revealing the image of a boy with a beer can in hand and your roommate with tears streaming down their cheeks. You immediately shoot up from the bed and make your way to them.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” you ask, concern fills your voice. After several choked out sobs, they finally tell you that their ex texted them and of course it has become a complete ordeal. As they sob in your arms, you look up and Jun and mouth a “sorry” to him. 

“I’ll get you guys a DD to take you home,” he says as he pulls his phone out of his pocket. After several minutes of your roommate sitting on the floor in Jun's room crying and ranting to the two of you, the DD finally arrives.

Jun follows you both outside, ensuring that you make it to the car safely and helps you get your friend into the vehicle.

“Hey, hold on, give me your phone real quick,” he says and takes your phone from your extended hand. He quickly types something in and gives it back. “There’s my number, text me when you get home safely.”

You can’t help the butterflies that flutter throughout your body. You slide into the car with your friend and Jun closes the door after you. 

He leans down into the open window, “Do you wanna maybe get breakfast tomorrow? I think we may have a lot of talking to do,” he says with a cheeky smile.

You laugh and shake your head as you look up at him, “Sounds like a date.”

You have had talks with Seokmin when he bumped into you few times and you were glad to hear he was finally going out with someone instead of being stuck up on you, you learned her name was Seuji and you were very happy for him feeling a weight was lift off your shoulders.

"I've been talking with a guy from other school."

You casually mumbled scrolling through your Instagram not paying much attention to it.

"You're talking with a guy? What's his name?"

"Yoon Jeonghan."

It was Seokmin who had asked you that question and he was accompanied by Zeny and Dani, all of you sitting on one of the benches which were located at the garden of your university.

"You mean to say Yoon Jeonghan from Hanlim school? As in the one who went to the same coaching class as us?"

The other three were more attentive and interested in your life than you were at this point cause you just nodded your head with a little hum, you weren't even talking with the said guy with much interest but you had been continously talking with him so you thought might as well inform them.

The only people who were currently aware of you being in a relationship with Jun was only Zeny and Andie but Andie was admitted to another University and you asked Zeny to shut her mouth up since you weren't sure about your relationship yourself.

You didn't even spend much time with Jun before he left, both of you did try your best, him being the one to reach out to you more and you didn't quite get the chance to properly be with him as a couple.

But getting used to the university life was sure tiring and most of the nights one of you would just crash down on the bed and sleep not having enough will in the body to stay up and talk with each other.

You knew Jun was trying his best but he was living with his family and being with the family had its own ristrictions as compared to when he was in Korea, living alone in his apartment.

This was the exact reason why you didn't fancy the idea of long distance relationship, you had never been to one before but you had hated it'd idea ever since you were aware of it.

"Why are you talking with him out of all the people?"

You looked at Seokmin raising your eyebrows, you knew he was getting jealous of you talking with someone else but he can't tell you what to do.

"Why? You got some problem with him? Is he that bad? I'm just talking, it's nothing serious."

"He told me the other day that you said you like him but I didn't believe and now you're telling me that you guys are talking."

"I didn't say I like him, I said I like him as in person, it isn't my fault he's so full of himself, don't worry and focus on your own life."

"Just be careful with him y/n."

"Sure, I'm going to meet him after few weeks when he'll be back from his hometown though."

You got up from your spot, packing your stuff and going off towards your next class. Your mind was clouded with Jun but you weren't sure what to do with him and you had a date with Jeonghan too, hanging out with new people instant supposed to be a crime when you're in relationships right?

"Jun come on pick up the phone."

Your heart beat was irregular as you anxiously dialed his number one after the other but he wasn't picking up.

You had met with Jeonghan today and you didn't expect it to turn out like it did. Now that you were back from it, you suddenly remembered about Jun which you had completely forgotten since the last few weeks.

Your breath hitched as you looked at the time, you knew Jun must have return from his college since it was late at night but you weren't sure why he wasn't picking up your calls and you needed to talk with him.

You groaned when he didn't pick up your call for 8th time deciding to just write him a message instead since you were getting drained due to nervousness and as the time passed, you were overthinking about how he would react.

You took a deep breath thinking about how you were going to start, you didn't expect yourself to lose control over your conscious state so easily.

To Jun : Hey, how have you been? I am sorry I couldn't contact you from past few weeks and you were too busy too, I tried calling you so many times because I wanted to talk to you about something but you weren't picking up so this is the only way I could get done with this and not feel anxious. Jun, I'm sorry, I know you would be confused as to why I am apologizing but I'm really really sorry, I'm crying as I write this I'm sorry I betrayed you. I never thought I would get attached with Jeonghan, I didn't think too much while I hungout with him, I genuinely saw him as a friend Jun, but he was so sweet to me and we kind of clicked, I was missing hanging out with you and he was there to fill your spot that I couldn't push him away, your thoughts were completely blocked by the thoughts of him, I forgot about you, I'm so sorry.

You took a deep breath to steady yourself as you wiped out your tears before hitting the sent button, he wasn't even delivered, he wasn't even online. You took the phone again typing another message.

To Jun : I don't think I can continue our relationship with the guilt I'm carring and you deserve better, I'm sorry I betrayed you like that I wasn't in my right mind I'm so sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me but don't blame yourself please, you're my best friend and this just isn't right. I shouldn't have broke your trust like that but whenever I am with Jeonghan I can't think of anything else other than him please don't be angry I really want to apologise for the damaged that I caused but this relationship just wouldn't work, I can't do this, I can't handle long distance relationship well I'm sorry.

You hit the sent button, getting away from the phone and started doing the house chores to keep yourself busy till the time he replied but he didn't.

You finished the chores later and went towards your phone to see if anything was sent but it wasn't which disappointed you as well as made you more anxious, what was in that mind of his.

You went inside the shower to relax your muscles and got dressed and did your night routine before plopping on your bed and tucking yourself inside the blanket.

You got you phone to see just a single message notification, your heart beat increasing as you unlocked the phone.

To y/n : Have you lost your mind? Are you aware what you're trying to say? How can you do this to me? I thought you loved me y/n this isn't a joke. I am studying and working my ass off here just for me to come home to see this? Do you realize how happy I was seeing all those calls and messages from you thinking you just missed me that much only to find out what? That you cheated on me? Is that what you're trying to say? I loved you, I love you so damn much and you did this? You had the nerve to even message me about it y/n, do you realizes you have tore me apart. I don't even know how to behave how dare you? I'm so angry, I did so many things for you, I didn't care about my own reputation just to gain your love and you let it go to waste? Don't you dare contact me after this y/n it's over between us, how will I trust someone else after what you did to me? I'm blocking you, I don't even want to see your face cause I myself don't know if I would be able to control my anger if I did, I hope that you atleast don't cheat him. I hate you y/n I hope you realize what you lost and what you did. Don't contact me or show me your face ever again I'm blocking you.

Moon Junhui

I seriously don't have in my bone to write something to you after what I did but if I don't talk to you and clarify some things I wouldn't be able to live my life properly. I'm not here to apologize cause the damage made by me is beyond that but I do feel like a crap and the universe did punish me for all of my deeds.

I couldn't clarify all of the things which I intended to tell you when you would reply me back, I didn't expect you to block me so immediately and hence the things were left unsaid.

I'm not here to justify the reasons why I don't think what I did was right but to tell you that it wasn't your fault at all.

As I told you before, I knew I wouldn't ever be able handle a long distance relationship and I was right. I knew I would miss you and need a distraction to actually concentrate on my academics rather than the concept of missing my boyfriend.

I wasn't aware you were working and studying at the same time, I'm sorry. We wouldn't talk for days if not weeks and I being with you from high school till I joined university, I was used to having someone around giving me company and keeping me busy.

When you went, at start I did my best to communicate with you, but you know how I can be, I can't talk on call with someone for hours and so it was getting very difficult for me too.

Then as the time passed both of us got really busy in our lives and then I met Jeonghan. I didn't tell him about us, cause honestly I didn't even think he would become a person who would have a huge impact on my life.

It all started by a causal talk and I didn't even acknowledge or felt anything special about it but after I met him personally when he came to Seoul, everything just turned upside down. He made me forget about you, he was fun to be with, I started looking forward to spend time with him, God I feel awful while telling you all of this.

I know you hate me, but I beg you to think thi gd through my point of you. I don't know how it all happened and I don't know why I let that happen, I know it won't repair the damage which has already being caused but I wanted to reach out to you to tell you I never meant to hurt you like that.

I really regret treating you wrongly and I hope you don't blame yourself for it, you deserve better. I'm sorry I failed you, I'm sorry I failed us. I just hope that whenver you'll find someone who loves you truly, you won't lose her like I lost you.

The thing happened between us was all because of me and my carelessness and its my fault not because of you. You know how to love Jun don't ever forget that.

Please don't punish yourself my pushing people away from your life. Please don't break people's heart over something you went through in your teenage years.

People change and they get their karma, like I got mine. I'm sorry Jun, I heard about you and Xien and let me tell you, that girl loves to roll death, she'll not leave you so I beg you to not destroy her. I know you have feelings for her don't be afraid to show them, don't lose her.

Please Jun, I know you're not angry at me but at yourself for letting all of that happen, please don't blame yourself, it isn't your fault.

Take care of yourself and fix what you've broken, you and Xien, you have a long way to go. I'm sorry once again, let's make peace with what happen cause holding the grudge is only going to cause harm.

I hope you live a long and healthy life, take care of yourself Jun and thanks for all the amazing time you have given me and for being my shoulder to lean on.

Best wishes,