Oh my god I think I’m the only person in this system with a working fear response
Really gets in the way of my research actually, but I’ve already got folks in here who want to… Leech, some of the fear from me? To feel it for themselves?
Either way I can ignore it just fine, but I don’t think any of us have felt anything like this in ages
This is really interesting actually, I had forgotten how all-consuming it can be, really snaps you out of complacency
#-Penrose#Maybe I should savor it#However unpleasant#There’s a certain aftertaste of adrenaline that has my creativity all but doubled#With the sped up thinking and all#Paranoid Penrose hours I guess#I’m usually never like this#I should note down what it feels like in detail#Maybe make a list of symptoms#Shaking#Muscle tension (centralized in shoulders & neck & chest)#Increased paredoilia (?) (I wonder if it has something to do with my brain looking for things in the dark)#An unusual frozen state#Increased reaction times#Jumpiness#Clinginess#The desire to conceal myself from an unknown threat#The paradoxical desire to both figure out what is causing the things that continue to startle me and shut out my senses entirely#The inability to deprive myself of my senses without increased distress#This is fascinating#Hmm.#Well#It was short-lived#I’ll have to reintroduce the distressing stimulus to see if it has staled#Or if it still sets me off into this state#We have a residual static in our vision that is much more prominent in the dark#It used to bother me specifically when I was very young#Both because in the dark it tripped us up and because I thought it was indicative of something terrible#Obviously it wasn’t#Our vision is fine
