#julscast

oscar, holding a water bottle: this is my new child, water bottle

me: i would name a cat water bottle

mush: your water bottles name is cat?

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crutchie (about wiesel): if he--if he brings that puppet in again im gonna--im gonna punch it. im gonna punch him. dawg im not about that

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me: slips in kony and literally does this:

albert, later: okay so i think it was a good recovery but it was. a little gay

henry: a little

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spot (during bottom line): making little scissor motions

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oscar: DON'T LEAVE WITHOUT A HUG BITC-

oscar, remembering her dad is there: don't leave without a hug

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prop helper: i look good in this picture right? my ex is coming tomorrow and i need to make sure i look good

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romeo (seeing that i had a blanket): you can. you can do that? you can bring a blanket? oh my god, les, im going to bring my blanket tomorrow

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me, whispering: titties

spot, whispering back: penis

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me: i just think that it's ridiculous that we're fighting over something so trivial, like just because i don't like it is no reason for divorce

jack: don't say it. don't you think you should wait a lit-

me: WAITRESS. AJSJAHHSHAHSSHA I DON'T LIKE IT

jack: im not talking to you any more

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jack: bye, hoe ass

me:

(as u can tell i am! in! denial!!!!!!!)

les: hitler was a FREAKING TURD

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jojo (like 9 years old): what the hell

morris: WHAT did you just say

jojo: winks and walks away

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oscar: screams ‘fuck’ into a cup

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mush: oh cool! i can fit my entire fist into a cup

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props master, giving us donuts right before we go onstage: i didn’t give you these. i don’t even know whats going on. i have no idea that you’re eating in costume

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tommy: singing ‘revenge party’ from mean girls except she’s singing about pizza

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medda (instead of ‘you got in for free, at least pay attention’): you....paid for your ticket and other.....people......DIDN’T

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romeo: this is my friend, steve the sign

crutchie: AND SKUNK THE RAT

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crutchie: this refuge drawing isn’t even that good lol

me: oh my gosh i know

me: you know i did that right

crutchie: OH MY GOSH WAIT NO IM SO SORR-

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buttons: IM NOT BEN

everyone else: WHO IS BEN

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crutchie, to albert: i just think jojo is like a sponge because she’ll repeat anything you say

jojo: if im a sponge are you gonna squeeze me

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race: shoves a chocolate in sniper’s face

sniper: spits the chocolate basically on top of me 

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oscar and race: screaming to see who can be the loudest and highest

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me: turns around and sees buttons and screams

buttons: screams in reply

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stage manager, handing a trash bag to jack during strike: alright i need you to replace this

me: no, he has to go in the trash bag

me: refers to jack as “garbage boy” for the rest of the night

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roosevelt: katherine do you think paul hollywood is dreamy?

katherine: no

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platt: race

fank: specs, tommy boy, katherine