#jul 2

FROZEN OREO COOKIE DOUGH PIZZA (V)

Hi!!!!! Thank you so so much first of all. So we're working on trying to figure out the best way to accept donations if we can, but as of now I don't have a PayPal or Venmo or anything. It's a bit tricky bc it could count against us as far as qualifying for the housing we desperately need but that is gonna take a while so idk how the hell to do this. We're trying to figure that out. Because yeah I'm. I'm not sure what's going to happen next, I get out of here but then nowhere to go and I mean we were preparing to live in our car for a while but it's just that right now after 10+days of this hell where I've been here on an air mattress that deflates rapidly so I'm basically sleeping on the cold hard ground.... the pain I'm in is BEYOND excruciating and compounded with all my stuff flaring hard, everything is so inflamed and like when I say sleep it's more like laid there unable to actually sleep and having panic attacks at every little noise... and I've not been able to eat I'm so stressed I have no appetite and when I've tried to eat I throw up. I've not been able to shower or change my clothes since that Sunday the 21st... can't even take my bra off and it is diiigging in badly... my hair is super knotted, my hands are cracked and bleeding from washing them so much... my joints are popping and I just. Tip of the iceberg. So it's just the thought right now of going from this right to sleeping in the car which is really really really painful in itself and there's no place to safely go to the bathroom in public or shower or anything and then like, no hope in sight? Bill and Jeanette got around to every resource for low income/homeless in the whole area, even got to my own health care providers and the social workers who were supposedly working on getting me a hotel voucher. It all fell through. We're gonna have to start from the ground up in other cities- and we've been on the lists for housing here for over 2 years now and that's just to get put into the lottery. I'm sorry I just. I'm feeling kinda hopeless right now I'm trying so hard to stay strong but like seeing everywhere I turn be already blocked by them... the level of physical pain I'm in making it hard to even think I just. I'm not sure, sorry, back to the question, we're working on that bc yeah we need so much help I don't know what we're going to do we've sold off everything we possibly could and keep losing it to food and gas.

So um yeah signal boosting the crap out of this story, make it go viral worldwide, please yes that helps a lot. I don't know if. I don't know if my situation can even be helped at this point, they were so detailed and thorough in covering all bases to keep us from being able to rebuild our life I just. Everything is really unsure right now. I'm sorry yall, I'm getting really overwhelmed it just feels like everything is stacked against me. The fact that they went to my own family. That my family helped them hurt me... I don't even know how to process that. I really don't. I don't understand. I don't understand why anyone would go out of their way like that, expend their own time and energy, just on hurting somebody. Just on completely tearing apart our lives like this. Why? We left everyone alone we didn't do anything we just wanted to get away from this abuse and rebuild. I just... it all really hurts right now. I'm not sure what to do, I don't know if there is anything out there that can possibly undo all this damage.

I'm making myself a Playlist of songs that usually inspire me, songs like Fight Song, Eyes Open (thank you @taylorswift seriously you've gotten me through so much to this point), etc and so if anyone has some good recommendations please let me know, things that have helped keep you strong, keep going, you know. It helps.

Asggdjfdhdghdjfkf so I am not sure how else to answer, if someone or a pool of people did want to get a couple hotel nights, maybe I can figure out a way to have the hotel paid directly or something? I'm working on figuring that all out. But yes, signal boosting helps tons♡♡♡

Also, to all the others who've sent me messages and asks: thank you SO INCREDIBLY MUCH, it really really means more than I can put into words, and know that I see it and it just may take me a bit to reply but just know that it's truly appreciated so much. Thank you💕