#juhoon ff

the type to always match your freak. it’s like he knows every references you make, so you know you can always have a good laugh around him. and sometimes, he teaches you new references, so they are all like inside jokes that you two only understand.

the type to always be observant to everything about you. he’s always listening attentively, making mental notes of what you like or dislike. before you could even act, he’d instantly go along with you or step in before you end up being overwhelmed by your discomfort. if anything, it’s like he knows and always can pick up on your mood or energy.

JUHOON

the type to be caught in a trance by you. if he ever gets caught staring at you, suddenly everything he says is incoherent. despite the embarrassment in that moment, it wouldn’t stop him from admiring you any other way.

the type to think about you before himself. even if he wanted to a certain thing, he’d always pick your first choice before his if you were with him. whatever it is, accommodating to your wants is never a problem for him.

the type to patiently wait to be around you when he notices you doing something. he doesn't want to disturb you, so instead, he lingers around close without being all up in your space. when he notices you're done, he would finally follow through his original plan: to just to be with you.

the type to willingly do anything you ask for. suddenly, his comfy spot doesn’t feel so comfortable anymore or he’s been actually looking for a small work break, so it’s definitely convenient for him to help you while he’s at it! the most you’d receive as a no would be a small unbearable moment of silence or a quick but judgy look—only for him to still do it anyway, giving you that sweet smile while you thanked him.

MARTIN

the type to say all kinds of pet names—corny or not—just because he knows it makes you smile. and your smile is to die for, so don’t expect him to stop saying any pet names out of the blue.

the type to never let his anger out on you during any conflicts you two have. despite how frustrating he may feel, he knows better enough to let you deal with whatever he’s feeling inside. he doesn’t want to hurt you and you don’t deserve that kind of anger.

the type to smile to himself as he’s admiring you talking or being interested in something you like. even if you share the same interest, he always goes silent to let you have a chance to talk about it. even if isn’t something he is interested in, he always pays attention to you. you are worth his absolute attention.

the type to buy you fashion pieces that reminds him of you or he believes that you’d look good in. as someone who loves shopping for clothes, his trips to the mall are even more fun when he’s thinking about you throughout his entire time there. best believe that he even buys his own clothes where he imagines how nice you’d look in them when you steal them one day.

SEONGHYEON

the type to become flustered when you one up his compliments to you. even if he would try his hardest to hide his expression, your words are enough to still get him in a giggling, shy mess.

the type to always move without thinking to take care of you. it’s within his instinct to always try to help you without you having to say outwardly that you need it. whatever you need, he always a step ahead to provide.

the type to always notice when you’re down. he would never outrightly say he notices, but it’s obvious when he always lingers around you. whenever you’re sad, there’s no words exchanged at first—only seonghyeon holding you in his embrace, his hand moving in circles on your back to sooth you. he only speaks when you’re ready to speak.

the type to always leave messages to you about anything really. where he’s at, what he’s doing, or who he’s with—he’s making sure that you know all about it. because of this, conversations always flowed easily because you always had something to talk about. and honestly? even if they are messages of you making fun of him or short ones in consideration of him being busy, he loves every single one of them. to put it shortly, he loves talking to you.

KEONHO

the type to make sure you’re always included. it’s true that he would want to look out for those he cares about, but when you’re around, you’re his absolutely first priority.

the type to adore every little thing that you do. it’s not his fault that you’re the most amazing person he knows—he can’t help but smile when you’re around. so, don’t be shocked if you end up hearing some giggles on his end… he’s just utterly in love with you.

the type to always ask if you need help because he thinks you might need it, when in reality, he just wants to help you. you could ask him that it's okay, but the next thing you know, he's asking you again to make sure—but still moving around and doing the most to get you want you need at the moment.

the type to go to the extremes to cheer you up. there’s no such thing as a bad day or mood when keonho’s around. it’s as if a light switch instantly goes off in his mind when he senses that you’re off. even though his actions could be childish, somehow, that always seems to cheer you up. it’s safe to say that he knows all the right ways to get you happy again.

‘💬’ ─ i love grent songs so freaking much. i just might write cortis / bnd x grentperez songs just because.

“James! Do you remember when I farted in class and proceeded to trip—”

The bathroom door closed.

James sat on the couching staring at you, phone in hand.

You suddenly freezed.

It was supposed to be only the two of you in the house.

Catching a glimpse of a tall brown hair boy with fluffy hair and a blue tracksuit was already your sign to ditch the living room and head back to your base (bedroom).

“Oh, what was that mom?” You hollered at the imaginary phone dashing straight for the door with a small slam.

“Did she actually—?” Juhoon received a nod from James as he could not help but laugh.

Embarrassment flooded your brain as you screamed into your fuzzy pillow. No way you said that outloud in front of the FINEST BOY you had ever met.

Every fiber in your body wanted to jump off the bridge instead of facing him ever again.

Maybe he actually didn’t hear it? Right? Yeah. For the sake of your sanity, that is what you settled on and it never happened!

Act cool. Stay cool. Inhale and exhale.

You came out as the TV blasted your ear drums.

“What. James we already know each other.” You looked at everything excpet Juhoon.

“Juhoon. My lil sis. Lil sis this is Juhoon. Oh right, just pretend you don’t or something.”

“Hey…”

His incredibly soft voice took you out of the ball park. Oh, how you would do anything to hear it again.

“Hi.” Short response. Awkward silence.

“Ohhh okay… anyways. You’re coming with us to the convient store.” James stretched his arms with a huge yawn.

“What? I can stay home..” In truth you would do anything for snacks but having to be anywhere near Juhoon made your love for snack put on hold.

“If anything crazy happens to you my ass will be gone by mom. So you’re coming along.” James smug face became irritating.

Your eyes slowly drited away from James annoying face to Juhoon beautiful eyes. It was only a second later and he stared back at you. You quickly turned around heading towards the door putting on your shoes.

The chill breeze went by once in a while. Sun began to fade away as it became darker every second of the hour. The 7/11 was only three blocks away from the apartment and yet it felt like a decade walking besides Juhoon….and James.

As James loud ass continue to yap the three of you had arrived.

James was scouting the candy isle, Juhoon was viewing the chips and you were just browsing through it all.

buzz buzz.

Stopping in your tracks the choice of ditching them felt strong. But then again this was probably going to be the only chance to be around Juhoon for a while.

“Hey, ready to go?” Juhoon stood in front of you carrying three snacks in his arm.

“Oh! Uh yeah, one second!” You hurried picked three random bags of chips and candy. “Let’s check out.” You chuckled awkwardly as you went first to the cashier.

Though you missed a rare moment of Juhoon giving you a small smile.

All three of you sat around the couch mindlessly eating away. Except for you, whatever snacked you grabbed earlier were nothing of your taste. One of it was wasabi mayo, the second bag was fish sticks and ketchup flavored and the candy was tootsie rolls knock off.

Juhoon notice you barely eating the untouched snacks. While James and him were pratically already done with theirs.

Grabbing a couple of BBQ flavored chips he placed it into your hands catching you off guard. Your eyes widen in excitement as your cheeks became pink.

“You didn’t need to—”

He shrugged it off already minding his own business.

“Who’s that?” Juhoon placed his head right above your shoulder extremely close to your cheek.

“What? Nothing!” You shut it off before he could read any of your text messages.

“You have a boyfriend?”

“Huh? What, no.”

“Just joking.” He replied messing up your hair. “Want to ditch him?” Him as in your brother who you had accidentally forgot about.

“Yeah, why not. He’s a boring grandpa either way.” Juhoon laughed softly at your comment making you smile ear to ear.

“I’m still here idiots.” He rolled his eyes and throwing a pillow at you. “Be back before 12!”

Juhoon and you walked outside in the dark with a couple of streetlight dimly guiding the path. It wasn’t awkward unlike before.

“So do you like anyone?” You returned back the question.

“No…well maybe.” Juhoon hesitated just a bit.

“Oh, okay.” Maybe you still had a chance afterall.

Juhoon stop and you followed.

“7/11? Huh?”

“I saw earlier you barely touch your snack. So i thought why not let you buy whatever you want.”

“Oh wow, I totally would but I don’t have cash.”

“Who said you were paying?” Juhoon gently grabbed your hand. “Come on, let’s go.”

“How can I repay you?” Chips stuffed into your mouth as chocolate bars sat inside your pocket.

“You don’t.”

“What? That’s ridiculous.” He began admiring you smiling to himself.

“Are you secretly rich? Why didn’t you say so!”

“Oh please, if I was I would drop school by now.”

“Yeah, that’s valid.”

Both of you walked in peace sharing the chips he has bought you. After all there wasn’t much to chat about. Though you slowly got comfortable to face him and not be shy anymore.

“You know, I always thought it was weird how James energized ass was able to become your friend.” You laughed remembering meeting Juhoon for the first time last year.

“I don’t know either. Guess we just clicked.” He shurgged drinking soda.

“Yeah…”

Both of you stood outside the apartment door. You didn’t want this to end and Juhoon didn’t want to be apart from you.

Putting selfishness aside, both of you went inside going your separate ways. Before you could even text Keonho a knock on your door erupted you.

“Juhoon, hey?”

“You wanted to repay me right?” His ears were extremely red as he tried to hide his nervousness.

“Of course.”

“Then you can repay me by uh going on a..date with me.” His voice volum went from a twenty to a eight.

“Wait what—I’m the person you have a crush on?” Your jaw dropped. “Is that why you asked if I had a boyfriend earlier?”

“Yeah. I liked you since last year and thought of how sweet and cute you are. But I could tell you weren’t comfortable around me yet so I took the chance now.”

“Damn you really figured me out…I would love to go on a date with you.”

so, without a choice, he headed right back to their practice room, right where martin’s headphones were supposed to be last seen.

instead of entering an empty practice room—or at least a room where one of the members was still lingering in—he’d seen a completely new figure, practicing their own moves.

it happened to be you.

as he could barely fully register that the room was occupied, you had already noticed him.

“can i help you?” you said in slight confusion, lifting one side of your headphones to hear the guy.

“uh—” juhoon paused, feeling his face starting to burn up. this was truly one of the awkwardest moments he got put into—he was already stammering. “have you seen… a pair of white headphones? the big ones?”

“the airpod pro max ones?” you responded, much quicker than the boy’s initial reply.

you watched as he quickly nodded, eyes slightly widening as a sign of relief.

“i set it aside over there,” you pointed at the headphones on the table next to the laptop where your music was playing. “figured it would be easy for someone to come back and return them.” juhoon scurried over there, picking up his footsteps to retrieve martin’s headphones.

“you’re juhoon, right?” your voice got his attention, swiftly making him turn to face you. “from that new boy group.”

“yeah, i am,” he said quietly, yet still oddly appreciative that you recognized him. “and you’re y/n. from (group name).”

you nodded, wearing a big smile on your face. that sight oddly had juhoon to short circuit—simply because you just had a nice smile. that was all to it.

before he could embarrass himself further, he was finally able to blurt out a ‘thank you’ to get out of this situation. as juhoon bid his goodbyes, you flashed him a small smile, muttering a ‘no problem’ in return.

“see you around!” you said loudly before he could shut the door—leaving juhoon to smile at those words.

⟢  juhoon wouldn’t have expected to get a weird fluttering sensation in his stomach at his workplace, but it just happened, and it was definitely by a sudden lucky miracle.

HOW IT CONTINUED

⟢ the timing of it all seemed a little too perfect. just a week after, he’d been told by a manager that he’d be going to your variety show with seonghyeon. and much to the other boys’ oblivion—due to juhoon’s secretive skills—he was strangely stressing over it… silently, of course.

“camera’s about to start rolling soon,” your voice grabbed both of the boys’ attention. you flashed them a reassuring smile, something small but with intention. despite knowing that this was far from their first time being filmed, it still felt like a good thing to do. after all, you’re the host of this show, so setting the tone was part of your role.

they both smiled back, though you couldn't help but notice juhoon's gaze lingering a second longer than necessary. it only broke when the director announced that they were finally starting, which made him shift into a more professional composure.

the segment starts off with you introducing yourself, followed by the two guests sitting across from you. you gave juhoon and seonghyeon the space to also briefly introduce themselves as well—enough for the audience to be able to get to know more for who they were without it feeling super rehearsed.

once introductions were out of the way, it would be technically the time to ask them questions. but, instead of jumping straight in, you decided to start somewhere that felt more natural... more familiar.

“thank you for introducing yourselves,” you began, your tone smooth as you aimed to guide the conversation elsewhere to hopefully ease some nerves. “although, this actually isn't the first time we've met.”

you gestured toward juhoon, his eyes widening just slightly as your smile remained gentle.

your smile was nice.

while his brain short-circuited for a brief second, seonghyeon was quick to jump in. "oh, really? when was this?"

juhoon cleared his throat before answering, perhaps hoping you’d notice he remembered it just as clearly as you did. “it was when i had to get headphones back from a practice room. martin’s headphones,” he clarified. “i went back to the room he said he left them in and saw y/n practicing. it was short, but… nice.”

short but nice?

seriously?

juhoon could already picture multiple clips of what he said alone all over the internet. they would all become zoomed in, slowed down, and dissected. as honest as he was being, he really didn't want to give the public any reason to misinterpret his words and rip him into shreds because of it.

still, his worries eased slightly when he heard you agreeing, adding that it had also been a pleasant encounter for you—meeting an idol from a group that hadn't even gone public yet somehow made it memorable in its own way.

“am i going to be third wheeling?" seonghyeon teased, glancing between the two of you. "it seems like you two already have some kind of chemistry."

you laughed, shaking your head. “no third wheeling here,” you confirmed. “let’s just make this a fun segment for us, alright? i can already tell that this is going to be a good one.”

and it really was.

with the way you were able to guide the conversation elsewhere when the topic started to dull, the energy always seemed to flow effortlessly from that alone. juhoon found himself relaxing without even realizing it, answering honestly without having to overthink every word.

it was easily one of the best interviews he's been part of (and judging seonghyeon's demeanor, it's obvious that he also felt the same). with being able to watch you being able to balance yourself with warmth and professionalism naturally, juhoon couldn't help but admire you just a little bit more with each passing minute.

⟢ during the car ride back from the segment, all juhoon could think was, “is it too early to get a crush on someone?”

⟢ he would try to justify that it was definitely too early and that his inner feelings were only jumbled up and confused. but afterwards, he’d only see you around the building way even more than before. and every single time, without fail, you’d always greet him with that same smile and same energy.

⟢ so really, it would be hard for juhoon not to reciprocate that energy back… and not look forward to those few second interactions on the daily, right? and it definitely isn’t weird for him to linger out in the hallways more to see if you’d show up or become slightly defeated when he couldn’t see you.

⟢ it’s pretty obvious that he developed something strong. something that he can’t deny anymore or doesn’t want to deny. he has a big crush on you.

HOW IT WAS SO OBVIOUS

⟢ even despite these interactions he’s been helplessly cheesing over, he still doesn’t let it show. or, moreover, he tries not to let it show. but, as always, when someone has a crush, someone will always figure it out.

⟢ and juhoon knows his members are slowly catching on. when it simply started off with seonghyeon always being near when he would wave at you, suddenly the rest of the group would somehow linger, their eyes being unable to peel away at the efforts of juhoon making small talk with you as they are on the way to practice.

“dude, is this why juhoon always lingers behind us?" keonho whispered, soon quietly exclaiming as the realization hit him all at once. "just so we won't catch him talking to y/n?"

the four of them had already reached the practice room by now, but definitely later than usual thanks to juhoon deliberately slowing his steps just to feel a few extra moments with you. from where they stood, it was easy to spot the two of you down the hall, mid-conversation, completely absorbed by each other's words.

“i think we just found something new about him,” martin murmured, sounding just as in awe as he was when he found out juhoon owned pet turtles.

“can we just admire how bold he's gotten, though?” james added, his hand still hovering the doorknob. he made no move to open it yet, clearly more interested in watching the scene unfold than having to start practice. "he's not even trying to hide it anymore."

seonghyeon finally glanced back one last time before finally pushing the door open. "after that filmed segment," he started off casually, "it's like he's finally gained a new sense of purpose when it comes to talking to them.

that was all it took. one by one, they followed suit, filling the room with a bunch of questions. and with seonghyeon being far too entertained by the situation, he did not hesitate to debrief on everything he's been witnessing since that day.

of course, juhoon would be completely unaware of this sudden debriefing session. however, he wouldn't stay unaware for long, especially not when he would find out in a way that was definitely not the best.

⟢ now this wasn’t entirely juhoon’s fault. it’s his members. like seriously, who would’ve thought they would end up “accidentally” (he claims) ratting him out and making him flustered on weverse live at the mention of your name?

“favorite artist?” juhoon repeated the question that was being read to them in live. without having to ponder much, he didn't hesitate to share his answer. “i think the answer is obvious, but daniel caesar has been my top artist for a while now.”

a series of hums followed, the kind that usually indicated agreement and a typical move on to the next question. juhoon almost believed it would end there.

emphasis on the word, almost.

from the corner of his eye, he caught the way keonho's lips curled into something far from normal.

“well," keonho dragged out, inching more closer to the camera with a playful glint in his eyes, "i'm pretty sure we've all have more than just one favorite."

juhoon turned to him, brows furrowing in confusion. "huh?"

keonho's smile only grew wider. "like, you know, people in this building?"

the hums in unison filled the room louder this time—completely exaggerated and annoyingly all in sync. it was less of an agreement, but more of a drawn out 'ohhh' expression.

it was so clear that juhoon didn't even have to look at the chat to know that the viewers were catching on just as fast.

this was clearly targeted. very targeted.

“i mean, yeah?" juhoon quickly answered, though his posture obviously stiffened. "everyone here is an artist. it's normal to take inspiration from the people around you,” juhoon smoothly mentioned, making it seem like it wasn’t a weird thing to bring up. “it’s easy to admire talented people.”

“like y/n?” james blurted out, causing juhoon to freeze as the boys obviously tried not to react, but the smiles on their faces were extremely telling.

there was way more to unpack.

TELL US MORE ABOUT THEIR DYNAMIC PLEASEEE

i’ve been cheesing since the variety show segment…

SOOO ARE U GNA TELL US OR LEAVE US OUT???

martin read a couple of comments like that, laughing to himself before sharing.

“so many of them are asking about your dynamic... like... a lot,” martin said, showing the phone screen closer to seonghyeon next to him. “i wish we could tell you. but, just know that they are close.”

“don’t make it seem weird,” juhoon finally cut in, trying to sound composed even though his voice was shaky (or more desperate just to shut them up). he tried laughing it off, but the heat was creeping up higher on his neck. “we’ve just became close friends, that’s all.”

"we're not making it weird," seonghyeon replied, a smile spreading across his face. "we're just simply saying, you just admire talented people, right?"

while the others nodded along, mimicking the same expression as him. juhoon could only stare straight ahead. he can only internally spiral as the live chat continued to blow up. he can only slowly exhale while hoping—praying—that this topic would just end already.

⟢ safe to say, the members have used this crush to their own leverage—haunting juhoon—while the public starts going into their own spiral, piecing up moments of you two together. safe to say, only because of the members, his crush is starting to become more obvious to everyone else.

⟢ and as humiliating it is to be easily figured out for having a crush—even if he desperately hoped that people were still in denial—it doesn’t stop him from watching those repeated clips over and over again. with the compilations of the overanalyzed frames made by strangers who only knew so little, it was clear that he knew exactly which and where each clips were from. he remembers the moments where his smile would soften without him realizing, his focus being more on you whenever you're present in the room, the ones where he'd mention you briefly—juhoon knew the full context of everything.

⟢ he never skips the compilations that appear on his feed. if anything, he cherishes them more than anyone else ever could. he knew what came before and after every clip, every cut, every moment the cameras didn't end up capturing. juhoon was the only one that truly knew how real those glances you gave when no one was paying attention or the inside jokes exchanged off camera were. so, these videos were just reminders of the bits he would constantly replay in his head with a fond smile.

⟢ the only thing juhoon prays for is that you don’t find out about his crush through social media. because one, it’s embarrassing to find out through online, and two, he very much rather tells you about his feelings in person… just what kind of a lovesick fool have you turned him into?

HOW IT ENDED UP

⟢ much to juhoon’s own friends constantly trying to hype him up and showing public comments about how he needs to make a move, he could only try to shrug it off. there was no way he was going to plan on suddenly confessing to someone that’s in the same field as him—who knows how harsh the people in this industry can be?

⟢ but, the more he tried to push it away, the more he found himself thinking about it whenever he started talking with you. it definitely didn’t help when juhoon found himself talking to you more often than usual, despite both of your busy schedules. it has seriously gone so bad to the point where you’re pinned in his messages.

⟢ what adds more to the fire is how variety shows are quite literally demanding to have you and juhoon both on at the same time. every appearance you two will have has been together. and every single time—without fail—you two are always partnered up, giving moments that everyone wants to see… and personal interactions you both want to have too.

⟢ any kind of interview questions that relate to love, juhoon finds a harder time to answer them. for his own answers, how could he not give it away when they all center around you? it doesn’t help when he has to tiptoe around the actual truth while his group members snicker at his choices, clearly understanding who he’s referring to.

⟢ people notice the subtle habits juhoon has picked up on from you. they aren’t crazily unique habits, but it’s specific enough to point out how its something that it's something only you’d do. the public doesn’t know if it’s done on purpose—for more juyn compilations—but it’s enough to leave people content with the idea of you two hanging out much more privately.

⟢ during award shows, juhoon’s eyes always seems to follow you wherever you go. people can go ahead and try to call them coincidences, but watching his eyes linger as you’re moving down to your seats, paying attention more closely to your performances, and to focus more on your speech after you receive an award—it’s enough to raise speculations.

⟢ when it comes to you two feeling more comfortable about talking about each other alone or with group members, it just leaves everyone to think about what your status is. and just like everyone else, it leaves you two more room to think about just exactly what your relationship is… or what it could be.

‘💬’ ─ this will be the start of my splurge of juhoon fics

You had to take a break. And you hate using the word break—especially when it feels undeserving to even have one. You didn’t feel like you earned it at all. But the truth was, you couldn’t push yourself to continue any further.

You needed a break.

You sank onto a nearby bench, hands moving on its own as you slipped the camera strap over your head and set the camera gently beside you—an action that was contrary to the stir of emotions in your chest.

It only just felt like a week ago, where you still had trust within your own skills, still feeling proud of every photo you captured. But, in reality of it all, you’d been feeling like this for months. Everything now just feels wrong. Off.

Not just with your skills, not just your photography. It was you.

It felt like you were starting to lose your spark, like the joy you once found behind the lens was starting to fade from you. That thought alone was absurd—you, of all people, feeling disconnected from something you loved so deeply? Absolutely not.

It’s so absurd that you felt like that couldn’t be the answer. Photography has always been a part of you. Ever since your family hired a professional photographer for those holiday portraits, you’d been captivated by the equipment.

You always wanted to know what it would be like to be the one behind it all. You wondered what it would be like to be the person preserving the memories others never wanted to forget.

And when you were gifted with your own camera, you promised yourself you’d never let that passion fade.

Or—more accurately—you swore to him that you wouldn’t.

You shoved that thought aside, eyes squeezing shut as you drew in a steady breath. As silly as it sounded, without photography, there would’ve been no you. And without that passion, it felt like you were slowly losing yourself.

Lost in your other thoughts, you felt a cooling sensation being pressed against your forehead. Your eyes fluttered open, vision blurry as you tried to make sense of the figure standing over you.

You hoped—just very briefly—that it would be him.

But, as your sight cleared, the concerned expression staring down at you belonged to Martin instead. Out of all people, he was the one you least wanted to see right now.

“Did you hit another slump again?” Martin asked, lifting the cold drink away from your skin. When you let out a quiet grumble, he only took it as permission, sliding into the empty space beside you before you could tell him to leave you alone.

“So what if I did?” you finally found the words in you to say, taking the drink Martin had in his hands. You poked the straw through the juice box and took a long sip.

“Well, that wouldn’t be good,” Martin replied, mirroring your actions with his own drink. He shifted in his seat, took a quick sip, then continued. “Especially when we’re performing soon.”

Right. He’s performing soon.

That was exactly why he was the last person you wanted to see right now. Martin’s appearance would be the unavoidable reminder of what you were supposed to do.

Every two to three months, the school would hold a day where different students could perform in the auditorium. It functioned similarly to a mini festival, just it taking place within school walls. It was like a talent show without the judging or prizes, which, in your opinion, made the whole thing pointless. What was the benefit of performing if there was nothing to gain from it?

But people like Martin didn’t see it that way. To him, it was being able to take advantage of a space allowing “creative freedom,” though you suspected it was really just an excuse for his group to show off to get more exposure.

However, what did you know though? You were just responsible for taking the photos as per Martin’s request. After all, he was the only one excited to finally have pictures that were “posting-worthy.”

This was the only time you ever wished you hadn’t gotten into photography.

“You’ve got, like… five days left?” Martin interrupted your thoughts once more, holding out his hand as if he was physically counting down until your impending doom.

“I’ve got time,” you huffed, crushing the now empty juice box in your grip. You finally pushed yourself off the bench and scooped up your camera in one swift motion, tossing the carton away in a nearby garbage can. By then, Martin had already fallen into step beside you, talking nonstop while you deliberately drowned him out, too busy focusing on your own thoughts to even listen.

Just how the hell were you supposed to magically rekindle your passion—enough to give Martin justice—within five days, and without him tearing you apart for it?

It might’ve been too late to try to figure that out.

In what felt like a blink, five days had already passed, and now here you were, fumbling with your camera settings as if you were just recently starting out with a camera. In your defense, the sudden flood into the auditorium wasn’t helping—your nerves were already restless, along with your thoughts being completely jumbled together. You were supposed to be in your seat already, away in a spot that Martin swore up and down that he’d reserved so you wouldn’t have to stress about needing to find the perfect angle.

Instead, you stood there like an idiot, pretending to keep yourself occupied while your eyes kept scanning the room, trying to search for a specific spiky-haired blond.

While plotting Martin's downfall in your head, you felt light taps on your shoulder.

It was about time he finally showed up.

You turned around with a scowl already on your face—only for it to falter the moment you saw who was standing in front of you.

It was him. Kim Juhoon.

“Oh,” was all you could utter, caught off guard by how close he suddenly was. You instinctively stepped back, fingers tightening around your camera more than necessary. “I was… expecting Martin. Sorry for that look you had to see.”

“It’s okay,” Juhoon said, his voice matching the awkwardness that was starting to form between the two of you. Your eyes instantly flicked to his hands, fidgeting with the hem of his sleeve, creasing his flannel—something he always seemed to do when he was nervous. “Martin had to help the others with rehearsal for a bit, so I figured I could do him a favor and bring you to the seat we saved for you.”

“Oh okay,” you replied, quickly looking away from his hands as you made room for him to lead you the way there. After a sudden pause, you hesitated and glanced back at him. “Wait—we?”

“Uh, yeah,” Juhoon answered, attempting to hold your gaze, although he quickly broke it off to focus on the floor instead.

“Martin told us that you’re the special guest,” he continued, his attention drifting—almost unconsciously—to the camera in your grasp. His eyes slightly widened by a fraction, brows suddenly knitting together that made it seem like recognition. “Since you’re photographing us tonight.”

“Right,” you responded back, subtly shifting the camera to hang closer to your side.

Juhoon seemed to realize he’d been staring, allowing his hand to fall back to his side as he offered you a small smile—an apologetic one that he didn’t need to give, yet it still made your chest tighten the same way as before.

Instead of saying anything else, he simply kept walking, leaving you to trail behind him. The crowd now only began continuing to thicken—people coming in from every direction, trying to get to their aisles for seating.

Out of instinct, Juhoon reached back and grabbed your arm, giving it a gentle tug to make sure you were still there, still following him even through the sudden growing chaos.

To stay close to him, even if only for a moment.

You felt the tension you’d been carrying slowly ease, allowing yourself not to overthink the contact, despite how desperately you wanted it to mean something.

But deep down, you already knew.

It wouldn’t.

You would only realize that you’d reach your designated spot when the warmth of his grasp had finally loosened. The area was set up neatly—away from the pouring crowd, a decent desk, a comfortable chair—perfect for settling in and catching your breath before it was his group’s turn to perform.

As Juhoon turned to leave, you hurriedly put on an awkward smile as a front, mumbling a quick, “Thank you.”

He nodded in response, lowering his own voice to a soft, “You’re welcome,” as he quickly checked his watch and headed to walk away.

You didn’t want him to leave yet.

“Good luck,” you blurted out, the words tumbling over each other on its own. He paused mid-step and turned back, his eyes meeting yours instantly—making you all nervous again. “With…with your performance I mean,” you added pretty quickly.

“I know what you meant,” Juhoon reassured you, offering a smile that mirrored yours, though his looked far more genuine. “But thank you. I appreciate it.”

I appreciate it. That stung a little more than it should have.

Still, you didn’t hold him back any further. You didn’t stop him at all. You simply watched as he walked away, your gaze lingering more than you meant to. You’d only realize how long you’d been staring once he fully disappeared into the crowd.

This wasn’t what you were here for.

You snapped yourself back to reality, turning your attention back to the camera as you made a few last minute adjustments. They weren’t perfect ones, but they’d have to do—especially with the first performance about to begin. With the crowd’s chatter fading into hushed anticipation, you settled into your own seat. After all, the least you could do was brace yourself to try to enjoy a few acts before that familiar nausea would creep in, reminding you that it would be your turn to play your part when the time came.

But, you knew yourself well—you wouldn’t find it within you to enjoy any of it. Sure, the performances sounded nice, but that didn’t stop your palms from sweating as you nervously twisted the camera strap around your fingers. Rather than being able to sing along like everyone else, you could only find yourself counting down the number of performances left.

Everything finally sank in when the emcee introduced the next band.

Cortis.

A five member group consisting of James, Seonghyeon, Keonho, Martin… and Juhoon.

It was time.

You got up from your seat, lifting your camera and waiting for the right moment. Martin never really gave you any instructions on what you should be doing. He only gave you the green light to do whatever you wanted, as long as that whatever resulted in pictures he could keep. As for the others, you had no idea what their input on this arrangement had been, but if they knew you would be photographing them, then they’d probably be expecting something too.

So, your goals have become set then. You would have extra shots for Martin—since he’d practically been begging you for them all month—along with solo photos of everyone else, plus a few group shots.

It shouldn’t be that difficult. Even someone stuck in a slump should be able to take pictures of other people. Plus, it’s a favor you’re doing for a friend, so you have to make sure these turn out well.

Once the music started and they began to play, you straightened your posture and brought the camera back up, eye pressed to the viewfinder as you adjusted the lens in search of something—anything—that felt right. You took a few solo shots, already convinced they were awful before you’d even have the opportunity to double check them.

It felt like a cruel repeat of what you felt five days ago.

By the minute, you could feel your hope start to thin out, but you pushed through anyway. Complaining truly wouldn’t change anything now. At the very least, you told yourself there had to be a few decent shots in the mix—enough to satisfy the very group you had to do this for.

Hopefully.

The lighting suddenly shifted. The stage dimmed, the focus narrowing until it settled on a single person.

Juhoon.

Your breath got caught into a halt as he began to strum, the melody shifting into something softer, something different from the song they had just performed. Only now, you realized you hadn’t taken any solo shots of him yet.

If there was ever a perfect moment, this was definitely it.

You tightened your hold on the camera.

You couldn’t allow yourself to be distracted now.

You made a small adjustment to the ISO, along with changing the shutter speed to freeze motion, and also fixing your focus.

You finally clicked the shutter button.

With the stage lights flare, it gave a glow against the dark backdrop, outlining his figure perfectly.

Another click would follow.

You reframed your shot to get a clear focus of him and his hands on the guitar strings, catching the way he leaned into the music.

This sight—the music even—felt all too familiar.

You shifted angles, allowing yourself to shift into making the background blur, leaving him to become the central focus. You paid attention to the concentration in his eyes and to the curve of his smile when he hit the right note with his chords.

Another shot followed. Then another.

You didn’t find yourself second guessing every angle anymore. You weren’t even thinking about any potential failures before it even existed.

Somewhere between the shutter presses—just somewhere along the way—you realized that you were smiling. You weren’t trying to pretend, you weren’t trying to force it—you were actually smiling.

This was it. This was the feeling you were missing. This—this—was everything that you loved.

This was the very feeling you wanted when you’d be the one capturing such memories. The moment of being able to not worry about time when you’re behind the camera—allowing everything to fade until it’s just you and the moment you’re trying to preserve—it was everything you wanted.

Then his solo came to an end.

As the light brightened, applause rang through the entire room, and Juhoon finally looked up. That was when you caught it through the viewfinder—the genuine, unguarded smile he gave the crowd, his eyes creasing as his entire face was filled with relief and pride.

Your finger hovered over the shutter after you pressed it, feeling your body go completely numb.

That’s when it all sank in.

Your spark didn’t magically return back on its own.

You would only find it again while taking pictures of him.

The person that loved your photography. The guy that offered to be your model whenever you needed him to. The one that would always follow through with your plans, following whatever poses you wanted him to hold—and always loving every outcome to encourage you to continue on with your hobby.

Kim Juhoon—the person who supported your passion from the start—reignited something you had thought you’d lost months ago.

You finally had it back.

And yet, something was still missing.

You were just missing the one person that you’d always considered your muse.

And you knew you could never have that back.

The music started to shift, a change that you should’ve noticed earlier. A melody you should’ve already picked on during his solo part. Now, the instrumentals started to make sense as every note ended up lining too perfectly.

You seem extra quiet.

Hiding all that noise inside,

no wonder you’re so tired.

I can see right through your eyes.

Hearing those words felt like a quiet blow, which only became worse by the fact that he was the one singing those lyrics. Of course you noticed what song it was—Reason Why by grentperez.

It was your song. Well, it was one you’d both claimed—a song that soon became a “our song.” The coincidence of it all felt more hurtful than anything.

You had been extra quiet. It was hard not to be when you felt like you’d lost the very thing that made you, you. And as ridiculous as it sounded, you couldn’t fully be yourself when he was no longer in your frame.

Even when that emptiness finally started to settle into your chest, you kept it all to yourself. You couldn’t find it in you to tell anyone—not Martin, especially not Martin, now that he was closer to Juhoon than ever.

And you’d like to think you’d be hiding it well.

But as you caught yourself fixated on the lyrics, replacing them in your head, you couldn’t help but wonder.

Was it ever obvious? Has it ever been that obvious enough for Juhoon to notice?

Maybe it was. Maybe he noticed and just chose to not make a move. Or maybe it never was.

You forced yourself to focus again even when the song continued, the words continuing to hit you as you tried—failing—to let them go.

‘Cause I can’t read between your lines,

‘Cause I know that you think I’m lying,

So maybe if you look through my eyes,

You’d see that everything is evergreen and then, you’d realize.

You had tried to look into those eyes. You tried to see if there was anything familiar, anything left before he slipped away again. But the way he looked at you now felt different.

It just didn’t feel the same.

The very meaning you had once easily understood had changed.

Or maybe it wasn’t him at all.

Maybe—just maybe—you were the one who was starting to forget how to read between his lines.

The song carried on, and you forced yourself to follow along again, blinking way more rapidly than you should have. You kept your composure, reminding yourself exactly why you were here. You still had a role you were meant to play. You hadn’t paid much attention to the other performances before this; you should’ve been able to tune this one out perfectly too.

But it was hard not to listen when you knew every word by heart.

I know you, every part’s a masterpiece,

Wish I could show you just how much I adore you.

Can’t afford to leave out any reason why.

You didn’t feel like he knew you anymore. And even worse—you didn’t feel like the two of you knew each other at all.

If every part of you was truly a masterpiece, then why hadn’t he stayed? Why hadn’t you been enough for him to show you just how much he adored you?

That thought felt selfish, ugly even—but all you ever wanted was a reason. A reason why.

You really needed to stop overanalyzing these lyrics. You needed to stop twisting them to fit your own circumstances, even if it was a song you two once shared. So what if it was? It’s not like he’d asked the group to play it for you.

Still, you couldn’t prevent the thought from gnawing at you, your brain refusing to let it go. Maybe if you’d just had more time. If only that had been granted to the two of you, then maybe you would’ve finally heard those words meant for you.

You felt a tear slip down from the corner of your eye before you could stop it. You quickly wiped it with your sleeve, trying your hardest to focus back where it belonged.

When you finally paid attention to Martin singing his part of the song, you quickly gathered your emotions and redirected your attention to him.

You lifted the camera again.

You were supposed to get extra shots of him, anyway.

As your chest stirred emotions you couldn’t quite name, the tension remained and refused to ease even after the song ended. It was their last one—and of course, it had to be your song.

A song you once shared with him.

You snapped one final picture of the entire group, not bothering to check the focus or the frame. You just wanted it to be over.

Your shoulders drooped, head bowed as you couldn’t bring yourself to watch them leave the stage. Instead, all your attention was laid upon the camera in your hands as you gathered what little energy you had left to review the photos.

There were enough solo shots of Martin to keep him satisfied with. There were also enough of the others too—definitely usable and definitely what they would expect. But scrolling through the gallery only allowed a familiar realization to settle in.

You’d taken far more pictures of Juhoon than anyone else.

As always.

You wanted nothing more than to leave.

But with someone like Martin, escaping from something was never that simple. After their performance, he had already told you to meet the group. And without a believable excuse to hold out on, you only found yourself heading toward their waiting room instead.

You could only hope the short walk away from the crowd would give you enough silence to gather yourself.

To recollect all your thoughts back together.

Each step felt heavier than the next when you found yourself getting closer to your destination. You’d thought you’d be fine with all of this. That had been months ago. Now, all you could think about is just how long you had to stay in there with all five of them.

You stopped in front of the door, your eyes landing on a white piece of paper taped to it, their group name printed in bolded letters.

You felt like your feet were glued to the floor.

After one last deep breath, you knocked twice.

Thankfully, Martin was the one opening the door—all bright eyed and smiley, his energy easing some of the tension that was formed in your chest.

“Come in,” Martin said, stepping aside to let you through—only to pause to move back to blocking the entrance. He glanced at you once more, then stepped out with you into the hall, pulling you a little farther from the room as if he could sense all of your nerves. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” you said quickly, the lie slipping much easier than you wanted it to. As you forced a smile, guilt still continued to tug at you. “I am just a bit tired.”

“You really don’t have to go back inside if you don’t want to,” Martin replied, returning your smile, but his was much softer and reassuring. Like he already knew that you weren’t being completely honest, and more important, the reason why.

What a perceptive guy.

“You sure?” you asked, making sure to confirm what you’ve heard. “I know you wanted to see the photos.”

“I’m sure,” he said without any hesitation. “You can always just send them to me later. I could do the rest of the work and drop them in the group chat for everyone.”

“I’ll have it all sent to you by tonight.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Just as he turned to head back inside, you spoke again, stopping him. “You guys did really well.”

“Thank you, Y/N.” Martin turned back, offering you an apologetic smile. “And I’m sorry for dragging you along to this. I thought things would’ve worked out.”

He knew.

You shook your head, a gesture that was meant to ease his guilt. “It’s okay.”

It’s okay.

You wished you could’ve easily believed it just like how you easily told him.

After bidding a quiet goodbye, you left Martin behind and began the walk home on your own. The silence felt extremely unbearable—from the moment you were walking alone at night to when you finally entered your house.

Keeping your promise, you went straight to your laptop with your camera. You remove the SD card, plugging it into a USB card reader to connect it to your computer’s USB port. You dragged every photo you took into a neatly labeled folder, one by one.

Once everything was uploaded, you sent each file to Martin. He replied almost instantly with a simple thanks, and that was enough for you to be able to end your night.

You knew you were done with your job.

But you also knew you weren’t exactly done with getting over Juhoon.

Especially when his photos were the last ones you’d sent—lined up neatly in Martin’s messages, impossible to miss, not requiring much scrolling to see them all again.

And as if it wasn’t enough, just an hour later, you noticed his story. Juhoon had solely posted the photo you’d taken of him—the one with the guitar in his hand, smiling at the crowd—sending you into an even deeper spiral.

You knew this wasn’t good for you at all.

You could only shut your phone, lying back with your eyes as the image itself kept replaying over and over in your mind.

Memories were never easy to erase, especially when you never wanted to let them go in the first place.

‘💬’ ─ sooo i may or may not be brewing a fic that will be centering around juhoon’s perspective also ! 😇