#joypost

Mahal kita.

Pero sa ngayon, hangga't hindi ko pa kayang sabihin sayo, hahayaan ko na lamang munang ibulong ito ng puso ko.

Hahayaan ko na lang munang maitago ito sa pagitan ng mga salitang inaawit ko para sayo.

Hahayaan ko na lang munang makiindayog muna ito sa mga melodiya ng duetong sabay nating binubuo.

Hahayaan ko na munang sabihin ng mga mata ko ang mga salitang hindi kayang mamutawi ng mga labi ko.

Hahayaan ko munang maramdaman mo ang katotohanan ng pag-ibig ko sa bawat pagbaluktot at sinkrunadong paggalaw ng ating mga bisig sa simponiyang isinisigaw ng ating mga puso.

Pero sa ngayon, hangga't hindi ko pa nasasabi sayo, hayaan nating pagyamanin ng panahon at ng mga binubuong karanasan at ala-ala ang pag-ibig natin sa isa't-isa.

Sana madama mo, hindi ko man sabihin, na minamahal kita.

Unti-unti ay natututo akong muli.

Unti-unti ay muling gumagalaw at sumusunod ang aking mga paa sa tugtog at indayog ng mga awiting pag-ibig.

Muli, natututo akong sumayaw nang may kasama.

Muli, nais kong pumikit habang nakahawak sa kamay ng taong alam kong hindi ako bibitiwan at iiwanan, tumigil man ang musika.

Dahan-dahan ay muli kong nararamdaman ang pagnanais kong magtampisaw sa ulan habang ang taong mahal ko ay aking hagkan-hagkan.

Dahan-dahan ay muli kong natututunan ang magbukas ng puso, at magpatuloy ng pag-ibig dito.

Ngayon, nais kong ipasaalang-alang muli ang yapak ng aking mga paa sa nakahawak sa aking mga kamay habang sumasayaw.

Ngayon, natututo akong magmahal muli.

-preparing to go on a big event all day with your friends

-actually going to the big event all day with your friends

-falling asleep on your partner/with your partner

-falling asleep on top of your partner

-looking at the stars with friends

-just talking and understanding your partner

-having LONG CONVERSATIONS!

-thinking of past memories of people that are close to me

Health progress for 6/13:

- Physical: No yoga practice :( , hiking 30min steep uphill, 10hrs sleep. Consumed eggs and dairy 1 meal (very difficult to maintain veganism fully at home).  - Mental: No meditation :( , no medication (see psych on 16th about this), social interactions notably positive - Other: Experienced gratitude for scenery, very intense dreams last night involving otherworldly beings/servitude, some restlessness tonight

 I’m thinking about him tonight, which is funny. The way my wandering thoughts will repeatedly return to a person. Someone I barely know, who I’m already convinced is right for me. Exercise: don’t pine for him to reach out to you, reach out to others in that interim of social appropriateness.

joy \ˈjȯi\ noun : a feeling of great happiness : a source or cause of great happiness : something or someone that gives joy to someone : success in doing, finding, or getting something*

Some people say that my name - Samantha Joy - suits me very well, for I have this predominant characteristic of being sanguine. Some would even call me SamJoy (this started with my choir mates at the university because I have another choir mate named Sam, so they needed to find a way to address me differently), even though I hated it so much. My friends would tease me endlessly because they know how irritated I would get whenever they would (TRY to) shout it out loud just to call me.

Now, you’re probably wondering why I used this as my URL considering my repugnance to this name.

I, for one, believe that being joyful is not only found in the state of being happy, but can be found in times of sadness as well. Being joyful is being successful in finding peace within yourself, knowing that even through the hardest and darkest times of your life, one could find contentment in freely expressing the emotions that is raging inside of you.

I have learned that whenever I feel down, one way that would surely help me to feel better is to be an encouragement to others. Hence, I want to be a channel of joy - to bring some joy to the world - by sharing snippets of my mind and my heart as I blog about things that I have learned and experienced in the seventeen years of my existence.