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But Iām getting ahead of myself. Remember when Christer rejectedĀ āHigher groundā from Melfest and it was the fucking WORST Melfest ever? Remember how Denmark recycled it and let it win DMGP? Well...
OOOOOOOOOOOOOWNED SO HARD!! and not just Sweden to be honest, becauseĀ āHigher groundā slaps, even a full year after the fact. Itās a paragon of righteous scandi energy, conceived in a mancave over a keg of mead, inspired by a tale of medival pacifism (which actually makes it non-toxicly masculine), imprinted on by Game of Thrones (a wonderful tv series that ended when the White Walkers melted down the ice wall and murdered everybody in Westeros ^__^)
In a nutshell, an absolutely kick ass entry.
Truth be told, it is IMPOSSIBLE to not get up from my chair, pound my chest and march along with the Old Norse (š) post-chorus chanting. Rasmussen DELIVERS a performance so intense it rips the space/time continuum and creates a portal to the good old Viking days. 100% deserving of being 2018ā²s KEiiNO and the highest Danish entry on this ranking!
Years of being awesome clearly took their toll on poor Pasha, but I will cherish him for the fountain of fun he has always been.Ā āLÄutarā Ā is such an uninhibited display for Moldovan FOLK, bringing out the dulcimers, horns and ādrampetsā to bring a much-needed ethic palate cleanser after the musical genocide committed on the Baku Stage. It also features some of the best dance choreography found in this decade, in which Pasha and dancers hop around the stage like overexcited gerbils <3
(btw: the pink dancer SLAYS me every single time.)
Such a frivolous, playful, adorable act that radiates mirth from every pore. š But wait, we arenāt done, because ā LÄutarā also features some of the more memorable, hilarious, iconic butcherings of the English language found in this decade (āYou havenāt seen before the looks like drampet. šĀ Butter sound go straight to ur soulāš). It certainly helps that Pasha is like a male Ruslana, struggling to express himself and resulting some hilarious awkward interview gold (Eurovision.tv:Ā āPasha, what is your secret for happinessā Pasha:Ā āMake good sex ^__^āĀ Eurovision.tv:Ā ā. . .ā š)
Naturally, a Pasha write-up cannot be finished without noting how central he is to āMoldova in Eurovisionā, almost as much as Moldovaās staging is. This little manās (literally. Heās like 1.65m lol) musical legacy includes:
- writing and performing LÄutar in 2012
- being a former vocalist for Sunstroke Project
- being the mentor of Aliona Moon and writing her 2013 song
- being the original songwriter for DoReDoS before Kirkorov took overĀ Ā
In other words, he is ~CONNECTED~ to every epic, high-tier Moldovan entry. WHAT AN ICON. Stay Safe Pavel!!
43. Dino Merlin -Ā āLove in rewindā
Bosnia - Herzegovina 2011
Finishing 6th place from the death slot when will ur faves...x
Man I do love my narrative entries, and it doesnāt get much better than an old man reflecting back on his lifeās had, satisfied with its outcome. Itās such a c00t premise and Dino Merlin plays the part of the adorable grandfather with conviction. š Even manages to transform Maja Sar into a fun hume for once:
āLove in rewindā really is all about the group effort. Dino himself is of course fantastic and makes this performance, but his troupe of ragtag troubadours carry a lot of weight as well, providing a wackadoodle wonderland for Dino to project his nostalgia onto.Ā Ā
And then thereās the question ofĀ āLove in rewindā itself. It is easy to lump it in with all the other frivolous folk, but in reality itās an experimental avant garde song disguised as folk š (exactly likeĀ āPutniciā, in fact!). The song is made into an artform by aĀ few unorthodox, sudden key changes. Key changes hated by the millennial wannabe pitchfork crew, but here at BorisBubbles we donāt support weakness so letās wave them all goodbye in celebration of what is easily Bosniaās best Eurovision entry:
42. JOWST ft. Aleksander Wallman -Ā āGrab the momentāĀ
Norway 2017
[2017 Review here]
As a shameless EDM Hound, I have to admit that I am totally smitten by this piece of electronic undergroundness. A wonderful epileptic seizure of pitch black and lavender, executed to perfection by Aleksander Wallman.Ā āGrab the momentā offers show-stopping visual effects, great vocal execution and an additctive beat. THE TRIPLE THREAT OF LIVE MUSIC!
Fortunately, thereās also a great underlying message. I havenāt really talked about the Mental Health Anthem all that much in this ranking, but thatās mostly because I havenāt ranked most of them yet. Any song that inspires people to believe in themselves, that it is okay to be imperfect and that tackles social issues such as procrastination and neurosis HEAD ON and WITH RESPECT, deserves praise.
Which is exactly what JOWST & Aleksander do, specifically by addressing young heterosexual men. š (ie: the demograph that is the least likely to reach out for a support when they need it). They do this very cleverly, by using teenspeak to discuss the ever-relatable theme crippling anxiety and how to lay it aside and get shit done. š¤š¤ so let us allĀ
41.Ā Ruth Lorenzo -Ā āDancing in the Rain
Spain 2014
THE RAIIIIIN THE RAIIIIN THE RAIIIIIN
Ruth. Yo quiero ser Ruth. Because Ruth is emblematic of Spainās biggest (only) strength in Eurovision: the LOUD OVERDRAMATIC SCREECHING POWERBALLAD š There are so many precedents to Ruth, from āĆlā toĀ āVuelve Conmigoā toĀ āBailar pegadosā toĀ āQuedate conmigoā butĀ āDancing in the rainā may be my favourite of the lot. In part because Ruth is a GODDESS and I was *invested* in her success the second she won the NF:
Which she then followed up by forming a backstage bitch coven with Conchita and Suzy. š Excuse me for a moment, I have to lay myself down and blow myself with a fan because that alliance contains so much awesomeness it gives me palpitations.Ā
But I mostly love āDancing in the rainā because of the performance. Itās a great composition in its own right, providing intense screaminess, well-executed language changes and of course, literal stage rain. š However, Ruth is SO intense in her delivery it becomes a moment of contemplation, of exaltation, and of stupefication as Ruthās SONIC ENERGY washes over us like a tsunami of sound. DEJA CAER, DEJA LA LLUVIA CAER, THE RAIN THE RAIN THE RAIN
and since this is the last update for Spain, Bosnia, Moldova and Denmark, Iāll include my overall thoughts below.Ā
DENMARK
The only people who like Denmark in this decade are those withĀ negative taste and no self-respect and those desperately wanting to be Swedes but never will be Swedes (ie: Danes)
MOLDOVA
Not aĀ āperfectā track record, but still an excellent showing for a country with so few resources. Moldova is one of my favourite countries in ESC and this chart should show you why.Ā
BOSNIA - HERZEGOVINA
Bosnia - Herzegovina participated four times in this decade and were epic exactly once. Thank you for that... now I normally would add that I miss them but, nah. Bye.Ā
SPAIN
I am honestly shocked Spain didnāt do worse on my ranking?? I donāt think theyāre like.. aĀ āTERRIBLEā esc country the way Ireland and Montenegro are, but jesus fuck out of the cavalcade of incompetent countries that have no idea what the fuck theyāre doing, Spain is the giantslewofincompetentcountriesthathavenoideawhatthefucktheyāredoingest. Which is puzzling given that all of their high results come from kickass female-fronted powerballads, ie: the easiest trope to nail. (case in point: Macedonia scored a top 10 with one. Macedonia.) JUST STICK TO THOSE and ditch the wannabe reggaetons.Ā
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āI had a dream that Norway won this year except the song was Grab The Moment. They won with around 530 points but this was only the jury vote, they didnāt bother with the televote. And they showed Rybak looking happy/smug when they won.ā