#jongkeyho

“Does this…does this….how is this tree so smooth?” Minho wants to pant out. Jonghyun is mouthing around the waist of his shorts, his fingers splayed around the back of Minho’s thighs. He doesn’t know why this is the thought that’s managing to break through: every inch of his senses feels overheated.

He just needed to take a piss, three hours into a drive that should’ve only taken an hour and a half. Construction and unexpected jams had left him impatient, eager to not lose track of this weekend away. They had been looking forward to it so much, the needs of work and family having kept their headspaces too occupied to relax at home.

Hence, a small trip outside the city. A hotel waiting for them, with a shower and a bed, and just the two of them occupying that bed however they’d like.

Breaking free of the traffic, and driving through this quiet hilly countryside, they should’ve been eager more than ever to get there.

So - why - after he had taken a piss, did he wander further into the woods?

And why, instead of yelling, or texting, or simply turning him around after running up, did Jonghyun choose to lays his fingers on Minho’s hips, and walk with him deeper, until they could forget they were ever in a car, on a road, to anywhere but here?

The tree Minho is against is smooth as his back slides down, and Jonghyun backs up just enough for him to sit properly. There’s a fevered, pleased look in his eyes that Minho feels must only reflect his own feelings. His own bizarre, untimely feelings.

It’s not that - it’s not that a dalliance like this is so strange. It’s not unknown for them to fool around, dancing around the edges of semi-privacy. But this was out of nowhere, this - Jonghyun pressing up against him, grinding against him in the dappled sunlight. And Minho didn’t want to do anything but give back, give more. His hand slid between Jonghyun’s pants and his underwear, squeezing tight and possessive. Jonghyun growled in pleasure, and they walked back deeper, until he was happily pinning Minho against this smooth bark.

Jonghyun is hungrily nibbling at his skin, and Minho is consumed with his own need: more, more, and specifically to feel Jonghyun swallow him down. The words are dying in his mouth, and one hand squeezes at the back of Jonghyun’s head. His hair is slickening with sweat, even though the air around them is cool. There’s a moan of agreement against his belly, and Jonghyun’s fingertips scratching at the waistband and pulling them down enough to free Minho’s dick.

Even as his lips close around him, Minho is thinking more , and he splays his legs out, bending his knees so Jonghyun can wriggle closer, folded at the knees.

There’s something - wet against Minho’s neck, something viscous and chilly, and it’s unthinkingly that he reaches up to swipe at it, smearing it against his skin.

It smells sweet, and stretches like honey over his fingers.

taste it , the tree seems to say. There are leaves singing in the breeze.

If he could hear his own thoughts, they’d perhaps be screeching wrong-wrong-wrong , but there’s nothing but the sound of leaves, the feeling of Jonghyun leaving hickeys on his thighs, his cock wetly sliding against his cheek. He can only close this eyes and open his mouth and taste.

“Minho,” Jonghyun is keening against the tip of his dick, sloppy. It sounds so much like home that Minho can feel the sunlight through their windows, the couch cushion beneath his back. “Minho, I need - “

He needs to be touching Jonghyun back. There’s sweetness on his tongue, isn’t there? Jonghyun’s tight, petite frame nestled between his legs.

Struggling, he reaches over Jonghyun’s back, and the other man chokes in excitement. This in turn makes Minho lose his plan entirely, falling back and flush against the smooth-barked tree.

Only - only -

hello , the tree-that-is-not-a-tree says. He’s beautiful and dark-haired and sharp-eyed and he steps out of the tree itself. Minho’s vision is swimmed over, distorted in sensation, but he can see how he moves. He can see the shade of green at the heights of his cheekbones, at the backs of his hands. He stretches his fingers wide and there’s more of that sweet-smelling liquid, webbed between his digits.

It’s still on his tongue, but he would like more, but Jonghyun needs - he needs something from Minho - he’s so focused on his own pleasures, he’s so selfish -

silly child , he says. let me help .

And he slides his hand into the rut where their bodies are meeting, and he slides his fingers alongside Minho’s cock, for Jonghyun to swallow.

In the next moment, Jonghyun is withdrawing, shedding his pants and his underwear. He plants himself around Minho’s lap, fervent to kiss and to be kissed, and Minho only happy to return it. The slickness of his cock rubs against Jonghyun’s, now that he’s bared as well, and it’s nothing but sweetness in their mouths, the leaves singing above them.

To Minho’s right, the figure settles down, an indulgent smile on his face. He creates fists with his hands, stretches his fingers wide again, closes them again, until there’s webbing, thick and wrapped around each digit.

Minho is sucking on Jonghyun’s neck, eager to leave marks, when his hand is grabbed, coating him in that slickness.

Jonghyun still needs, he remembers. He still needs.

release , he says. what you need. what i give .

The tree is still smooth, the forest floor beneath him softer than any bed, as he slides down and it’s one - two - three hands pushing his shorts down further. Jonghyun can sit on his lap, his eye still dark and feverish, and he can work at his own dick, or Minho will help him, all he ever wants to do is help, and there’ll be nothing but what they need. The hand, coated and webbed, finds his again, and together they slide over Minho’s dick. Together, they tease at Jonghyun’s hole.

Jonghyun slides down until he’s seated fully, and begins to ride. Minho’s hand pulses along his length, trying to keep the same rhythm.

There’s sunlight above them, when the leaves allow it. There’s singing on the breeze, and the tree-that-is-not is peering at the two of them, green and verdant and smirking with delight.

It’s all very strange, and Minho still doesn’t know how they got here, but Jonghyun is above him. Jonghyun’s dick is in his hand, swelling and hot and his own is couched, tight and near fulfilled.

What else did there need to be, his mind told him. Or, perhaps, it was the tree telling him, and he agreeing.

All he knows is the bliss of the moment he comes, and Jonghyun with him. The shuddering of his hips up, and the canting of Jonghyun’s down. The mess of his boyfriend’s come pooling on his stomach. The sweetness that’s still on his tongue. The sweatiness of his hand on Jonghyun’s hip. The relief of being touched.

The smoothness of the bark, the softness of the ground.

Jonghyun falls to his side. The bank of the ground opens up to receive the two of them, cuddled together in bliss.

It had been an easy day on the island. Everyone had gathered together for a very important project. Not storm making or adventuring or any of the normal sort. It was more of a cleaning mission. Somehow, Minho had sent all of his fruit bearing plants into overdrive and now he and Jonghyun had more than they could possibly eat to deal with. So of course they invited Taemin, Jinki, and Kibum over for a picnic of sorts. Jonghyun and Minho had made reed baskets for everything, pulling it all out on the beach. It was quite a bounty, even for five people with seemingly endless appetites. They had already started peeling tangerines by the time the others finally came around. They sat in a circle at first, each person picking one type of fruit: Jinki had apples; Jonghyun, strawberries; Kibum, persimmons; Taemin, bananas; and Minho kept the tangerines. Beside them lay more baskets which were less full, but had other fruits like peaches, lemons, and grapes. They’d peel and clean it off, then either eat it themselves or feed someone else. 

When the sun finally started to set, they decided that they’d had enough to eat. Minho, Kibum, and Jonghyun decided to nap while Taemin and Jinki started playing around with the remaining fruit down in the surf. Jinki would pull up a tiny bit of water and use it to dramatically slice up an apple while juggling tangerines. Taemin, on the other hand, was trying to figure out how to use lightning to cut fruit. After 10 attempts, all he had was fruit mash. It wasn’t often that the two of them just played for the sake of it.

When they woke up, Jonghyun, Minho, and Kibum watched Taemin and Jinki for a while. Since Jinki seemed to have a pretty good hold on Taemin’s attention, they figured they had at least a little while to be more affectionate before the Mr. kissing police started sending miniature storm clouds and other annoyances their way. They had figured out a system to make sure that none of them got left out when it was affection time. Minho, who was both the top donor and top recipient of affection, would sit in the middle. When Jonghyun or Kibum wanted his attention, they’d simply tap his shoulder or cheek and he’d oblige. Minho prided himself on trying to be as fair and equal as he could be. Today, Minho was on the receiving end of both Jonghyun and Kibum’s affections. At first, it went smoothly. Tap, tap. A kiss from Kibum. Tap, tap. A kiss from Jonghyun. Back and forth. Then, equal time became obviously not enough time.

“You know, I should be able to get two kisses for each one you get,” Kibum started, poking at Jonghyun. “You live with him so you have 24/7 access while I only get a few hours a week.”

“If you want more kisses then come visit more. It’s not like there’s a chance we won’t be here,” Jonghyun sneered.

“If you’re always here that just proves my point that you get more kisses overall so I should get more now!”

“If you want time to get more kisses than other people then maybe you should just set time aside to visit just Minho! But since this is the three of us time, you get one for each I get!”

Still sandwiched between the two of them, Minho sighed. They’d argued about this before at great length. It always made him laugh that the two would waste more than half their  affection time arguing about who should get kisses. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jinki gesturing that Taemin was losing interest in his games and that they were almost out of time. Tired of not getting the affection he wanted, Minho put an arm around each of them.

“I know you two like arguing about who deserves more kisses but I’m not quite feeling it today. I don’t know if you noticed, but I have two cheeks. Which is convenient since there’s two of you. Two cheeks, two of you, twice the kisses.” he explained, jokingly.

Jonghyun and Kibum looked at each other and laughed before shifting closer so they could each reach their respective cheek. Jinki was surprised at the sudden peace and dropped his tangerines. As he reached to pick them up, he heard Taemin mutter under his breath.

“What if neither of you kissed him and you guys just took another nap.”

Jinki started laughing and dropped his remaining tangerines. He tried to suppress it so the three could finish having their moment, but it was too much.

“Taemin, what did you say? Are you trying to rekill Jinki or something?” Kibum called, his face somewhere between concerned and amused.

Jonghyun, who had heard the comment, yelled “I mean the third option is we keep kissing and you take a nap.”

Taemin’s face turned red, though it was obvious he was pleased that he’d made Jinki laugh so hard. The sun finally set and it grew dark on the beach. Begrudgingly, Jinki, Taemin, and Kibum got up to leave. Jinki set off first after quick hugs for everyone. Taemin also said goodbye quickly but lingered, waiting for Kibum.

“I got it, I got it,” Jonghyun said. He most certainly did not. He frantically flipped through the stack of DVDs again and pulled one from the bottom of the pile right as Minho and Gwiboon entered the room. He didn’t know why he hadn’t just picked this one right from the start. It was the obvious choice.

“So what have we got?” Gwiboon said, her voice muffled by a mouthful of potato chips.

“Pacific Rim?” His boyfriend looked at the DVD in Jonghyun’s hand. “Jjong, you’ve seen that like eight times.”

“Fourteen times if you count the six times I saw it in theaters,” Jonghyun said proudly.

Gwiboon took the DVD case and studied it. “I never saw this one.”

“It’s really good,” Jonghyun said. “It looks like just another loud action movie, but it has this really human core to it, where you’re just rooting for these characters because you care about them personally and--”

“And it’s got Idris Elba and giant robots and explosions,” Minho said.

“Sold,” Gwiboon said. She tossed the case back to Jonghyun, who caught it with a little huff. “Technically,” he said, “they’re not robots, they’re mech--”

Minho threw a pillow at him and Jonghyun swatted it away and wrinkled up his nose in a tiny scowl. He set up the DVD and then sat down on the small couch between Gwiboon and Minho, shifting around to find a comfortable spot. “Did you make me a sandwich too?” He blinked hopefully at his boyfriend.

“Oh, sorry bro,” Minho said around a bite of sandwich. “Totally forgot.”

Jonghyun frowned sadly, and Minho laughed. “I’m kidding. It’s right in the kitchen.” He handed his paper plate to Jonghyun and jumped up to grab the sandwich. “Can you get me a soda?” Jonghyun called after him. “Grape?”

“I will never understand your affinity for grape-flavored things,” Gwiboon said, crunching another potato chip loudly in her mouth.

Jonghyun snitched a chip from her plate. “Hey!” she said, as he popped it into his mouth. He batted his eyelashes wildly at her, and then quickly stole another one. She smacked at his hand, jostling her plate and spilling chips all over the sofa in the process.

“What the fuck are you guys doing out here?” Minho said as he returned with Jonghyun’s plate.

“It was Gwiboon!” Jonghyun pointed to the scattered chips all over the sofa. His girlfriend rolled her eyes and sighed melodramatically. Jonghyun smiled primly at her as he popped the top on his soda and took a delicate sip.

“Gwiboonie, you know eating in the living room is for grownups only.” Minho’s tone was obnoxiously patronizing.

“I hate you both,” she said. She put her plate on the table next to the sofa and stood up carefully, catching the chip crumbs in the hems of her knee length cargo shorts, before going outside to brush the crumbs off. Minho scooped the remainder of the broken chips off the couch cushion into his hand and took them to the kitchen.

Jonghyun felt a little bit guilty when she returned, and he wriggled close to her. “You can have my chips,” he whispered, as the movie started.

“I’m good,” she said, with a tiny dismissive wave. A moment later, she took a single chip.

Jonghyun nibbled at his sandwich as he watched the first several minutes of the movie, his gaze rapt. He didn’t move a muscle, not even when Gwiboon rapidly ate all the rest of his chips in quick succession. He had seen this movie so many times, but it still got to him. When Yancy died and Raleigh Beckett staggered out of his broken Jaeger onto a nearly deserted beach, Jonghyun was already sniffling back tears. He stole a quick glance at Gwiboon and saw that her eyes looked a little moist as she stared at the television. He reached over to the table beyond her to set down his empty plate and then snuggled up next to her. She shifted and slung an arm around him, pulling him closer.

By the time the movie was halfway over, Jonghyun had slid down until his head was in Gwiboon’s lap. The rest of his body was curled up in the small space between his boyfriend and his girlfriend. Minho patted his butt affectionately, and then leaned over, draping his body over Jonghyun’s. Jonghyun grunted in slight discomfort, but said nothing, too engrossed by the beautiful clash of Jaeger against Kaiju. He rested one hand on Gwiboon’s knee, and then ran his palm up and down along the prickly hair on her shins. In turn, she brushed the hair back from his forehead and massaged his scalp with her fingers. He sighed. This was so nice.

In the movie’s final minutes, she tensed and her fingers stopped moving over his scalp and tightened in his hair until the tug was almost painful. “Noooo,” she whispered. “Nooo, don’t die!”

Jonghyun patted her knee soothingly. His girlfriend’s propensity for talking to movie characters as if they could hear her was always endearing to him. She let out a long breath as the movie ended.

“What did you think?” Jonghyun prompted eagerly, as the credits rolled.

“It’s too soon,” she said. “I can’t talk about it yet.”

Minho got up and turned on the light and took the DVD out of the player. “Well, now you’ve seen Jonghyun’s all-time favorite movie, so I think this means you have leveled up.”

“It’s not my all-time favorite,” Jonghyun scoffed.

“Oh really?” Minho retorted. “And what other movie has prompted you to write copious amounts of smutty fanfic?”

“Minho!” Jonghyun squeaked in horror. He rolled over and buried his face in Gwiboon’s lap. “I wasn’t ready to tell her yet!” he muttered into her thighs.

“I think I just leveled up again,” Gwiboon chuckled. She poked him. “What pairing?”

“La la la la la, I can’t hear you!” he sang out, before he started laughing uncontrollably as she tickled him. He rolled back over onto his back and grabbed her wrists to stop her.

“You wrote Raleigh and Mako, didn’t you?” she said, wiggling her eyebrows.

“No!” he sniffed. “I think they have a beautiful queerplatonic relationship.”

She rolled her eyes. “Not after that hand-to-hand fight sequence.”

“You read sexual tension into everything,” Jonghyun said.

She shrugged. “I’m just saying, bro.”

“Minho, tell her!” Jonghyun whined.

His boyfriend laughed. “I think I’m having too much fun watching this.”

Jonghyun reached up to play with the loose tousled strands of Gwiboon’s hair. One side of her head was shaved, and the longer hair on the other side was aqua now, with tiny streaks of pink and purple and yellow. He began twisting a few strands into a tiny braid. “I like your hair so much,” he said, smiling up at her as cutely as he could, hoping to distract her from the current topic.

But she was not so easily dissuaded. “Which pairing?” she said, poking him again. “Tell me! Tellllll meeeeeeeee!” She laughed when he frowned grouchily up at her. “Come on, you might as well tell me. It can’t be anything more embarrassing than that Hulkeye smut you wrote once.”

“Wait, what?” Minho said.

“Gwiboon!” Jonghyun wailed. “I didn’t tell him about that!”

“I just--” Minho shook his head. “I just have so many questions. Like, who likes to top in that pairing? Is Bruce Banner in his Hulk form at the time of said copulation? Does he ever transform mid thrust?”

Jonghyun closed his eyes and scrunched up his face and tried to pretend that this conversation was not happening.

“Yancy / Tendo,” he muttered quickly, as Minho and Gwiboon kept chattering about the logistics of Hulkey sex.

“What?” Gwiboon halted the conversation immediately.

“I’m not repeating myself,” Jonghyun said airily.

Later that night, they spread their towels on the beach so they could gaze up at the stars.

“I still can’t believe you picked Pacific Rim again,” Minho said.

Jonghyun hummed happily as he nestled against his boyfriend’s side. “What?” he said. “It’s the perfect beach movie.” He deepened his voice as he launched into the intro narration from the movie. “When I was a kid, whenever I'd feel small or lonely, I'd look up at the stars. Wondered if there was life up there. Turns out I was looking in the wrong direction.” Minho’s voice joined him for the last line. “When alien life entered our world, it was from deep beneath the Pacific Ocean.”

“Dun dun dun!” Gwiboon said dramatically. She rolled over next to Jonghyun and rubbed his arm. “I think we’re all pretty drift compatible,” she added softly.

Jonghyun felt warm all over from happiness. “What do you think Minho?” he whispered.

“Hmm, well, I suppose if I found myself in need of two fellow rangers to build a neural bridge of empathy with in order to pilot a Jaeger and battle giant Kaiju and save the world, I guess I would want you guys,” Minho replied.

“Well, thanks,” Jonghyun said sarcastically. Minho’s only response was to laugh and hug him a little tighter, and Jonghyun relaxed into his boyfriend’s arms as he stared up at the night sky.  

“So did you publish your smut on LiveJournal?” Gwiboon asked.

“Oh my god,” Jonghyun said.

“Okay,” Minho said, and unceremoniously dropped him. Jonghyun yelped as he crashed into the floor. “Hey!”

“You said to let go,” Minho replied. The bed creaked as he stood up on the other side, and Jonghyun heard his bare feet shuffling across the carpet. Jonghyun scrambled so quickly to his feet that he was sure he had given himself rug burn, and darted out of the bedroom in a mad dash for the bathroom.

He had almost made it when he heard Minho’s low laugh behind him as his boyfriend grabbed his upper arm. “Nnnnrrrggghh!” Jonghyun said in frustration, trying to pull away. Minho just stood there, laughing at him. “Let me go, you tall giraffe man!” Jonghyun said, turning around and trying to push at Minho’s chest with one hand while disentangling the man’s fingers with the other. When that didn’t work, he tried again to wrench his body away. It was like trying to uproot a tree. “Why are you so strong?” he whined.

“Probably because, unlike you, I don’t skip leg day all the time,” Minho said.

Jonghyun scowled, and then relaxed his body, as if he had given up. When he felt Minho’s grip loosen a little bit, he suddenly bent over and charged forward and rammed his head into Minho’s stomach. The other man toppled to the floor, his breath forced out of him in a low “oof!” and Jonghyun laughed as he ran into the bathroom and locked the door.

Jonghyun had just started pissing into the toilet, exhaling with relief as he rolled his head around on his shoulders to crack the joints in his neck, when the doorknob rattled, and a moment later, Minho entered.

“How did you--?” Jonghyun said, gaping at him. Minho grinned and held up a bobby pin with the prongs pulled wide apart. “Gwiboon left this last time she was over,” he said. He put it on the counter and stripped off his clothes. “You’re getting pee on the toilet seat.” He stepped into the shower.

Jonghyun glared at Minho’s naked back and then mopped up the pee from the seat.

“You’d better not use up all the hot water!” he said loudly, over the sound of the shower.

Minho laughed. “Relax, bro,” he said. “I’m gonna take like 90 seconds.”

“I’m counting!” Jonghyun said. He slammed the toilet lid down and sat his bare ass on it, counting out loud as he clipped his toenails.

“98 seconds,” he said, as Minho exited the shower, running one hand back through his shaggy wet hair as he reached for the worn damp towel on the towel bar.

“Whatever.” Minho’s voice was muffled as he mopped the water from his face. Jonghyun couldn’t help but look down his boyfriend’s long body, gleaming with the multitude of water droplets that trailed down his skin, and he felt that twinge of attraction that he occasionally experienced, that slightly disorienting feeling of wanting to climb Minho like a rock wall.

He shook his head. No time for any of that this morning. They had a con to get to. He jerked off in the shower, wishing he could come into Minho’s hand. His boyfriend didn’t mind helping him out on occasion, although he almost never wanted Jonghyun to return the favor. He wandered into the kitchen after his shower, scrunching his hair with the towel. Minho was standing at the stove, making scrambled eggs, still only dressed in his boxer briefs.

“Can I have some?” Jonghyun said.

“I was planning on it,” Minho said, turning to smile at him. He frowned as he looked down at Jonghyun’s bare feet. “You’d better not be getting water all over the floor.”

“I’m not.” Jonghyun flushed guiltily. He definitely was. He shuffled back out of the kitchen, dragging his towel under one foot to clean up the trail of watery footprints. When he returned, he wrapped his arms around Minho’s waist and buried his face in the back of his boyfriend’s armpit.

Minho jumped slightly. “What are you doing? That tickles.”

“You smell so good,” Jonghyun groaned. “I just want to eat you.”

His boyfriend laughed and reached back to pull Jonghyun’s head forward by his hair, until Jonghyun’s eyes were peering up at him from the side of his chest. “You’re kinda grey today, aren’t you,” Minho said.

Jonghyun pouted. “Maaayyybe,” he muttered. Minho ruffled his hair and smiled fondly down at him. “You’re ridiculous,” he said softly. Jonghyun fluttered his eyelashes up at his boyfriend. Minho sighed. “I would take care of you but I’m not really feeling it today and we really do have to get going.”

“No, it’s okay,” Jonghyun mumbled into his boyfriend’s side. “I took care of myself in the shower.” He inhaled again. “I just kinda want to stand here and smell you, if that’s okay.”

“Be my guest,” Minho said. He toyed with Jonghyun’s hair as he stirred the eggs with his other hand for a few more minutes, before switching off the stove. Then he pulled Jonghyun into his arms and combed the smaller man’s hair back from his face, before kissing him tenderly on the tip of his nose. “We don’t have time for you to be so cute,” he whispered. Jonghyun squinched his eyes tight and tilted up his face even further, pursing his lips exaggeratedly to silently beg for a kiss, which Minho gave him, laughing.

They were interrupted by a loud pounding knock at the apartment front door.

“That’s Gwiboon,” Minho said.

Jonghyun nodded. “I’ll let her in.” He kissed Minho again and then ran to the front door.

Gwiboon was already fully dressed in her Black Widow cosplay, her catsuit unzipped far enough to show off plenty of cleavage. Jonghyun frowned slightly in distress. Today was a very very bad day for a nerd to feel more grey than ace.

“Hey babe.” She tweaked his nose. Her voice was still a little husky from her cold. “Nice Superman boxers. Don’t go DC on us today though.”

Jonghyun’s frown deepened. “You’re very tall today,” he said grouchily, looking down at her heeled boots.  

His girlfriend laughed. “And you’re short always,” she said, as she kissed him.

He wrinkled his nose, but he couldn’t pretend to be cranky when her soft lips were on his and she smelled so nicely of that cucumber moisturizer she liked. “I like your boobs,” he murmured. She laughed again, and pulled the zipper down a little further. He ran his forefinger down her cleavage.  “I’m very grey today and you’re very hot,” he whimpered.

“I made scrambled eggs and toast,” Minho called from the kitchen, interrupting them. “Hey Boonie,” he said, when they entered. He looked up briefly from ladling the eggs onto three separate plates. “Oh, you got the wig on time! It looks nice.”

“Do you think it’s the right shade of red?” Gwiboon said, twisting a segment in her fingers. “I’m a little worried it’s too bright -- I don’t want to look like the Wendy’s logo.”

“Pretty sure the Wendy’s logo doesn’t have boobs like that,” Minho said dryly. He laughed when she playfully flicked him on the ear. “The wig is perfect.” He put two triangles of toast on a plate of eggs and handed it to her, before leaning in to kiss her. “I’m glad you could make it today.” He carried the other two plates to the table.

“So did you decide on which cosplay you were doing today, Jjong?” Gwiboon asked around a large mouthful of scrambled eggs. She swallowed rapidly and scooped more eggs onto her rye toast, before taking another giant bite.  

“Captain America,” Jonghyun said. He neatly stabbed one bit of scrambled eggs with his fork.

“That shield is as big as you are,” Gwiboon said. She and Minho high fived, and Jonghyun glared at them as he ate his buttered toast. “Hilarious,” he said, after several seconds of unsuccessfully wracking his brain for a comeback.

“I got that shit to paint my face red but I’m kinda hoping you can help me out,” Minho said to Gwiboon.

“Awesome,” Gwiboon said, finishing her plate and carrying it to the sink. “And I brought over that yellow jewel thingy. It’s in my purse.” She opened the refrigerator. “Hey, can I have a yogurt cup?” She grabbed one before Minho’s “yes” was out of his mouth.

“How do you eat so fast?” Jonghyun asked in wonder as she ate the yogurt in three giant bites.

“You think trained Russian spies have time to delicately savor seven course meals when they’re on a job?” Gwiboon said. “We’re pros at the whole dine and dash thing.” She licked her spoon, threw the yogurt cup away, and clapped her hands. “Hurry up, guys! We got a con to get to!” Minho stuffed the last bit of eggs and toast in his mouth and pushed his chair back with a loud scraping sound. He began filling the dishwasher as Gwiboon wandered away down the hall.

Jonghyun sighed and went back to eating his food one tiny bite at a time. He chewed every bite carefully and washed it down with orange juice. Gwiboon could say what she wanted, but at least he would never die of a freak choking accident. He wiped his face and hands on a napkin and nodded to Minho as he balled up the napkin in his hands. His boyfriend obediently stepped on the garbage can lever to open the lid and Jonghyun chucked the crumpled napkin across the narrow kitchen at the can and did a tiny victory dance as it landed neatly inside.

When they joined Gwiboon in the bedroom, she had already laid out most of their cosplay items on the bed, and was digging through their dresser to look for their gloves. Jonghyun dressed in his costume quickly, and then sat on the edge of the bed, fiddling with his helmet, as he watched their girlfriend fix a bald cap over Minho’s unruly hair, and then paint his entire face and much of the cap red.

“How am I looking,” Minho said, keeping his eyes tightly shut.

“Terrifying,” Jonghyun was blunt. “But like, in a hot, noble way.” Minho grinned.

“I’m a little worried about this jewel.” Gwiboon nodded at the cheap bright yellow gem on the bed next to Jonghyun. “I don’t know if the glue will hold. You’re gonna just have to be careful not to touch it or wrinkle up your forehead too much.”

“Yeah, because without the Mind Stone, you’re just an android with a really bad sunburn,” Jonghyun said.

Minho kept his eyes closed but pointed in Jonghyun’s direction. “Can you pinch him for me please?”

“Unless you want red fingerprints on his blue spandex butt, then no.” Gwiboon laughed.

“He doesn’t have enough butt to pinch anyway.” Minho held up his hand and Gwiboon high fived it again. Jonghyun shook his head. This was what he had to put up with from these two nerds. Unbelievable.

“And that’s it,” Gwiboon said, pressing the gem into Minho’s forehead, where it sparkled slightly in the morning sun that was just peeking over the horizon. “Now you just have to hang tight for a little bit while it dries.” She walked into the bathroom to wash her hands, and Jonghyun followed her, watching from the doorway as the water turned dark pink as it ran between her fingers.

“Should I have gone with Hawkeye instead?” he mumbled, suddenly insecure. “Do I look stupid?” He looked down and played with the edge of one of his gloves.

“No!” Gwiboon grabbed a towel and dried her hands briskly, leaving pale pink streaks on the white cloth. “No, Jjong, you look great. Honestly. I love all the retro elements you incorporated. It’s so creative.” She winked and dropped her voice to a low husky purr tinged with a very bad Russian accent. “You make this idea of American patriotism very attractive.” She switched back to her normal voice. “That’s the only time you’ll ever hear me praise American patriotism.” She laughed.

He grinned, satisfied, then glanced at her cleavage again and frowned a tiny bit. “Am I objectifying you if I say that I have a really bad nerd boner for you as Natasha Romanoff?” He really did try not to be gross about his nerdiness.

“Nerd boner. You dork.” Gwiboon rolled her eyes. “You’re allowed to find me attractive in my costume. Jesus.”

“Is it terrible that I kind of want you to grab me and shove me into a tiny cell and interrogate me very intensely?” he squeaked.

“We all have our dreams,” Gwiboon deadpanned.

When Minho walked into the bathroom a couple minutes later, still blinking flakes of red paint out of his eyes, Gwiboon had pushed Jonghyun up against the counter and they were making out heavily.

“Really guys? Really?” Minho’s voice teetered on the edge between amusement and annoyance. Jonghyun flushed and laughed sheepishly. “I--I guess we’d better finish getting ready,” he said, wriggling away from Gwiboon.

At last they all walked out into the parking lot, already sweating slightly in the early summer heat, though the sun was still low in the sky. Gwiboon unlocked her car door.

“No,” Jonghyun said. “We gotta take pictures first! For my Instagram.”

“Your Instagram,” Minho scoffed.

Jonghyun put his hands on his hips. “You can’t shame me out of my selfies! Gwiboon will take one with me. Right, Gwiboon?” He looked at their girlfriend, who was standing there with her car door open.

“Definitely,” Gwiboon said, leaving the door half open as she joined Jonghyun. “Minho, you can take the picture if you’re gonna have a stick up your ass about it.”

They took a few pictures simply standing together. “Okay, now pose!” Minho said, and Gwiboon dropped immediately into the trademark Black Widow crouch with one leg extended out to the side. Then she looked over at Jonghyun and began laughing hysterically. Jonghyun was squatting behind his large round shield, almost entirely hidden except for his nose and eyes.

“Jonghyun, what are you doing?” Minho was also laughing.

“I am using my small stature to my strategic defensive advantage!” Jonghyun said in a mock serious tone, before he also began giggling.

“This is gold,” Minho said, as he snapped a few more pictures. Then he made Jonghyun take a couple pictures of him with Gwiboon, first of him with his arm around her, and then of her piggybacking on him. Finally, Gwiboon took a few pictures of the two men together. Jonghyun settled comfortably into his boyfriend’s side. “I’m so excited!” he whispered. In answer, Minho simply grabbed Jonghyun’s head and rubbed his knuckles briskly over the helmet.

“Okay, I think we got it!” Gwiboon said, hopping into the driver’s seat. She poked her head back out. “Boyfriends assemble!”