Michael meets his new crew. Little does he know, he's met his boss before.
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'This is the story of how they met, her picture was on the back of a pack of cigarettes, and when she touched him, he turned ruby red, a story that they'll never forget, never forget' - Fall Out Boy, Where Did The Party Go
**
Part 3 of a pre-FAHC/FAHC series based off FOB songs (primarily from Save Rock and Roll) [juggey, ~900 words] [read on ao3]
“Where’s Ramsey?”
“Relax. He’s not home yet,” Gavin said. “I’ll introduce you to the rest of the crew.” He walked them from the entry way, down the short stairway into the open living plan. “Bedrooms are down those stairs.” He pointed behind him. “City’s out the windows, and yes, we have quite the view.”
Michael rolled his eyes and muttered, “he’s always like this,” to Ray, who shrugged, not minding. Believe it or not, spending three months on a cross country crime spree with Michael had been the high point of his life so far, and it was only looking up from there.
“On the couch is Ryan, Lovely Ryan, this is Michael and Ray,” Gavin introduced. Ryan looked … normal. He had his socked feet up on the coffee table, xbox controller in his lap, taking a brief sip of Diet Coke. He waved to them. Ray waved back, Michael merely nodded. “And Jack’s in the kitchen. She’s our bartender, if you want anything to drink.”
“No thanks,” Michael said, and Ray just shook his head. Jack seemed to be observing them very harshly, but otherwise didn’t say anything.
“Jeremy’s on a job, unfortunately,” Gavin said. “You can meet him when he gets back. He’s top.”
Behind them, the door to the penthouse opened again, and a man in a tuxedo walked in, holding a newspaper in one hand and a handgun in the other.
“Front page news, boys and girls!” he exclaimed. “Front Page News!” He tossed the newspaper at Ryan, who deflected it, before he noticed Gavin with the new kids.
“And this is Geoff Ramsey himself,” Gavin said. “Geoffrey, my boi Michael, and his friend Ray.” Gavin beamed brightly and Geoff gave the new recruits a look up and down.
“It’s good to meet you,” Michael said, sounding formal but still informal at the same time, somehow. “Gav’s told me a lot about your operation. I hope you’ll still be needing my services?”
“Of course, of course!” Geoff said, pushing himself between Gavin and Ray, putting his arm over Michael’s shoulders and steering him away from the kitchen. “I would love to hear more about these skills you have.” Gavin shrugged at Ray and gestured at the couch. Ryan welcomed the company.
“Yes, sir,” Michael said. The door to the heist room closed behind him and Geoff. “I expect you pulled my records from Liberty City PD.”
“Yes, we did, and it is exhaustive,” came the reply. The redhead at the computer spun around in her chair, grinning at him. “Hello, Michael.”
“Ruby,” Michael blurted out. He felt like all his air was gone. How was she here? Now?
“Good, I was worried you wouldn’t remember,” she winked at him. “It’s Lindsay. Lindsay Tuggey. Welcome to my crew.”
“Hey there.” She was too perky for this place. A seedy club in Liberty City? She had to have a motive. Michael turned around to look at her, seeing the exact opposite of what he’d been expecting. “Wanna dance?” she asked him, and he could feel himself nod, and then she had pulled him onto the dance floor by the tie.
If Michael only had one word to describe her, it would have to be fucking gorgeous, because Michael was a rule breaker, and there was no way just gorgeous was good enough for this girl. Michael didn’t have a poor self-image or low self-esteem by any means, but this girl was at least 12 times too good for him. Why she’d pick him of all the people in the club was beside him, honestly–
She kissed him and his mind shorted. He couldn’t think in long sentences about how beautiful this woman was because he could no longer think.
“I love your tattoos,” she whispered in his ear, and he could hear the grin as she said it.
“Thanks, yeah, I love your…” Michael managed to stutter out before his brain turned off and he didn’t have an end to the sentence, “uh… you.”
“My me is pretty great,” she laughed. “Want to get out of here?”
“Y-yes,” Michael nodded. She grabbed his hand and practically pulled him out of the club. RIP the jacket he had brought. She had his shirt unbuttoned by the time the cab was in drive, her fingernails scraping down his muscles, her tongue not far behind. “God, God…” he moaned. “Um, I’m Michael, by the way?”
“Ruby,” she replied without hesitation.
Hand to God, best night of Michael’s life. Of course she was gone in the morning. Idiot. He should have gotten her number or something. He never thought he would see her again. He checked his phone just in case she’d left him a message or something…
When are you headed out here??? I miss my boi!!
Michael sighed and texted Gavin back. He still had some things to take care of, and then he’d start making his way out to Los Santos.
“Your crew?” Michael asked, confused, looking between her and Geoff.
“Yup,” Lindsay replied without explanation. She had a file folder in her hands, Michael assumed it contained his records. “Michael Jones.” The syllables rolled out of her mouth in the best way Michael had ever heard anyone say his name before. “Do you care to maybe tell us a little bit more about the time you blew the roof of the LCPD station?”
“Which time?” Michael replied, unfazed.
“He’s hired,” Geoff told her. “I need a drink.” He left the heist room.
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“Is… this a bad time?” he asked hesitantly, eyeballing the army of cushions and blankets strewn all over the Jones’ living room.
“Gavvy,” Michael groaned, his voice muffled. “Quick, help me hide, boi.”
The blond tilted his head curiously and carefully inched further in.
“Sure, boi,” he said doubtfully, kicking a pillow to flop over Michael’s left leg, leaving only his foot exposed. “Hide from whom?”
Michael’s head peeked out from beneath the duvet he was dragging over his upper body. He caught Gavin’s eyes and mouthed a word. Gavin stared at him blankly, blinking. Michael frowned, eyes darting around, before he shuffled closer, trying not to dislodge too many pillows.
“From Lindsay,” he whispered harshly, glancing over his shoulder as if the mention alone might have summoned his wife. “She’s being crazy.”
“Crazier than usual?” Gavin mused, giving his friend a judgemental once over where he was trying to worm underneath a small mountain of cushions with medium success.
“The craziest,” Michael insisted, tugging on Gavin’s arm to drag him with him under the duvet. The blond shook his head with a laugh, but indulged him. Lying down on his stomach next to Michael, he half-heartedly fluffed a couple pillows up around his legs. Michael was tugging a blanket up to cover his back, when a high-pitched squeal stopped him in his tracks.
“Oh!” Lindsay chirped happily, flouncing over to the pile they were amassing. “Gavin, you’re here! Good.”
She nodded decisively, dropping another armload of cushions on them. Then she eyed the mess Michael had made critically, while he gave her a wild look. Her lips curled into a frown, and she tapped a sharp nail against her chin.
“That’s a good effort already, boys, but you should cushion the floor first. Here,” Lindsay declared, shoving a bunch of pillows together and covering them haphazardly with several blankets. She gave the pile a quick once over, then nodded firmly.
“There. Much better.” She nudged Michael with her foot, and with a resigned groan he rolled over onto the blankets, dragging the duvet and several quilts tangled around his legs with him. Meanwhile Lindsay started heaping more pillows around the cushioned base, draping blankets over them to keep the general form.
“What exactly are we doing?” Gavin asked from where he’d sat up, watching them bemusedly.
“Cuddle pile,” Lindsay chirruped, smiling at him brightly. Gavin arched an eyebrow and turned to give Michael a look.
“Shut up,” the other man muttered, flinging a pillow at his face. Laughing, Gavin caught the projectile and clutched it to his chest. He gave Lindsay a wide grin as she plucked it straight out of his arms to add to her wall.
“I’ll leave you two lovebirds to it, then,” Gavin said, shaking his head with a chuckle and climbing to his feet. As he turned to leave, Lindsay snatched him by the back of his shirt.
“Ah ah ah,” she tutted, tugging him back to the circle of cushions. She gave him a gentle shove, and he dropped down next to Michael. Lindsay pointed a finger at him, adding sternly, “Stay.”
Michael flung an arm over his waist, pinning him down. Gavin’s high-pitched squeals echoed through the living room as he struggled to escape. Michael only rolled over and dragged him back against his chest. Finally, Gavin went limp, still giggling breathlessly.
“Oh no, you don’t,” Michael chortled, a wide grin stretching across his face. “If I have to suffer, you have to suffer, too.”
“Michael, my boi,” Gavin protested, dropping his cheek on Michael’s outstretched arm. “What happened to Team Nice Dynamite?”
“No explosions!” Lindsay called from the next room over, sending Gavin into another hysterical giggle fit.
“No promises!” Michael yelled back.
He fidgeted around until he comfortably fit against Gavin’s back. Soon Lindsay returned and fluffed up even more pillows for her weird stacked cushion wall. The boys watched her fluttering around lazily. Finally, she seemed to deem her construction passable with a small, thoughtful trill and a cocked head. Nodding, she hopped over the wall and settled down behind Michael, her nose buried in his hair and her arm wedged under his head despite his grumbling protests. Her fingers were barely brushing through Gavin’s hair and she let out a little chirp.
“So,” Michael drawled, as Lindsay rubbed her nose through his hair insistently. “Care to let us in on exactly what we’re doing here?”
Lindsay hummed, ruffling through Gavin’s hair absently. The blond huffed, squirming around in Michael’s arms to give them both a look.
“Lindsay,” he squawked, “Lindsay, are you nesting?”
“What, you mean, like, a bird?” Michael joked, only for Lindsay to knock her head against his. “Ow!”
“Yes, nesting. It’s about high time we did this properly, too,” Lindsay stated indignantly.
“But isn’t that, like, a sex thing?” Gavin inquired curiously, before backpedalling hastily at the looks he received. “I mean, for birds! It’s about procreating, innit?”
Lindsay scrunched up her nose, while horror slowly dawned on Michael’s face. He twisted around to stare at his wife, wide-eyed.
“Wait,” he said urgently, “do you want to have kids?”
Gavin watched on awkwardly, trying to wriggle out from underneath Michael and the tangled blankets without disturbing them. Michael swatted at him distractedly, attention focused on his wife. Lindsay snorted and glowered at them.
“Of course not, you idiot.” She paused, her mouth twisting ponderously. “I’m not even sure if our species are compatible like that.”
She shook her head as the boys stared at her in fascination and horror respectively.
“Anyway,” she continued blithely, waving the thought away with a gesture, “I’ve adopted enough hatchlings this century, I don’t need more headaches.”
There was a moment of silence, where Gavin and Michael stared at her uncomprehendingly. They shot each other a confused look, faces blank, before looking back at Lindsay. She arched a brow pointedly, lips twitching upward in amusement. Gavin’s mouth dropped open and Michael sputtered as they finally got the implication.
“Lindsay,” Gavin squeaked in protest, “We’re centuries old.”
“Yeah,” Michael affirmed, a peculiar expression on his face. “And we just married, in case you hadn’t noticed.”
“Oh good,” Lindsay snarked in return, reaching for Gavin’s hand and squeezing reassuringly. “And here I thought I’d imagined all that.”
“But, if you see us as children…” Gavin trailed off, frowning. Michael scowled.
“I’m millenias old,” Lindsay pointed out gently, petting Michael’s arm soothingly. “Everyone is younger than me. Being my honorary hatchlings means you’re my chosen family.”
“Seriously?” Michael blurted out incredulously. “No one’s older than you that we know?”
Lindsay tilted her head, humming thoughtfully. “Mica, maybe. She’s from the same era as me, or thereabouts. I have no clue how old Meg is, so…”
She trailed off and shrugged. Gavin stared at her wide-eyed, and Michael blinked.
“Christ, woman,” he exclaimed, throwing up his hands. “How old are you?”
“A lady never tells her age,” she chirped primly, smirking. Gavin laughed.
“And here I thought we were old.”
“Odin’s breath,” Michael muttered, flopping back down into the pillow nest. Lindsay patted his arm consolingly, leaning in to nuzzle his cheek.
“For what it’s worth,” she started, leaning in to press her mouth to his, “I’m pretty sure we were both legal when we started having sex.”
Michael choked on his laughter, headbutting her gently.
“I swear to the gods, woman,” he growled playfully, softly nibbling on her lower lip. “Keep that talk up and I’ll show you exactly what I’ve learned in all these years.”
“Will you now.” Lindsay smiled, batting her eyes at him coquettishly. She threw a leg over his, twisting on top of Michael. His hands settled easily on her hips, and he pushed up to capture her lips in a searing kiss.
Gavin watched them for a long moment, unable to avert his gaze. They fit together so beautifully, it filled his heart with a deep longing. Absentmindedly rubbing at his aching chest, he disentangled his legs from the blankets.
...and promptly stumbled over a cushion as he tried to leave the nest quietly. With a yelp, he tumbled back down on a duvet. Michael and Lindsay broke apart, Lindsay straddling Michael’s lap. Both their faces were flushed, but they eyed Gavin with concern.
“Are you okay?” Lindsay asked, fingers fluttering down his side.
“Why are you leaving?” Michael added angrily, his brow furrowed.
“You were getting busy!” Gavin exclaimed, sitting up and rubbing his arm. “I was just gonna give you space.”
“We can stop if it bothers you,” Michael assured him, frown darkening. Lindsay slipped from his lap to hover over the blond worriedly. Gavin worked himself free of the quilts and pillows, making to crawl over the wall again.
“It’s okay, I’ll leave,” he insisted, brushing Lindsay’s hands off. She pursed her lips, but stepped back, cuddling into Michael’s side. The other man watched Gavin with sharp eyes, snatching his wrist.
“Stay,” he said sharply, earning himself an elbow from Lindsay.
“You don’t have to,” she tried to reassure him, gnawing on her lower lip. “But we would like-”
“I can go,” Gavin replied immediately. Michael gripped his arm harder but he stopped tugging. “I don’t mind, honest.”
“We don’t mind either,” Michael snapped, shrugging Lindsay off and crawling over to Gavin. The blond watched him cautiously, but Michael simply wrapped his arms around his waist and let gravity do the rest of the work for him.
“I don’t want to be in the way,” Gavin explained softly, looking away. Lindsay came up on his other side, dropping her chin on his shoulder with a sad chirp.
“Shut up, boi,” Michael grumbled, pressing his face into the other’s chest. Lindsay’s fingers sorted through blond strands, neatly rearranging his hair. “You’re staying, idiot.”
“You’re family,” Lindsay added firmly. “And this is family time.”
“And it’s up to you, what kind of family you want to be,” Michael continued, squeezing Gavin’s waist. He glanced up and took in the startled look on his face. Leaning back, he raised an amused eyebrow. “What? You’re my boi.”
“Surely you saw this coming,” Lindsay laughed, fluffing up both their hair. “You’ve been dancing around each other for a century.”
“You don’t mind?” Gavin asked tentatively, turning to look at her. Lindsay let out an unladylike snort.
“Pretty sure we covered that already.” She pointed at her chest, waggling her eyebrows. “I’m old. I’ve had many relationships over the years, most of which would be frowned upon today.”
“Yeah?” Michael piped up challengingly, laughter in his voice. “Like what?”
“Oh, all sorts. Men, women, both at the same time. Even had a harem once, back when I was young.”
Gavin choked on his spit and started coughing.
“Lindsay!” he squawked in protest, but she just laughed.
“That’s what you’re going for here, grandma?” Michael teased, a big grin splitting his face. “Gonna relive your youth, live wild, party hard?”
Lindsay chuckled, shaking her head.
“Only what you’re comfortable with,” she said gently, catching their eyes in turn. “You’re more important to me than a fun night.”
Gavin smiled hesitantly, reaching out and brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.
“But imagine,” he joked quietly. “What a night that would be.”
She turned her face to nuzzle his palm, Michael wriggling around to kiss her cheek.
“Yeah,” he agreed softly, “what a night.”
They settled down in comfortable silence, breathing slowing down and touching each other casually, thoughtfully. The quiet settled itself over them like a spell - until Gavin felt the need to break it.
“You get a million dollars, but every time you-”
Groaning, Michael and Lindsay both grabbed a pillow and flung it at the giggling blond.
Series continued with Vampire!Ryan and Werewolf!Jeremy here.
Jack’s piloting, taking them up higher and higher into the sky, until the sunlight dazzles Michael and the city is small beneath them.
He grins over at Lindsay, whose legs are hanging out the side of the helicopter.
"Ever been skydiving?" he asks over the roar of the wind, unable to keep from grinning at the way her hair whips into her face.
"Not like this," she replies, smiling back.
Michael catches Jack’s signal and grabs Lindsay’s hand, pulling her to her feet.
He holds tight to her and lets himself fall, lets himself pull her down with him, and Lindsay’s laughing even as she shouts, “Michael! Michael, I don’t have a parachute!”