Dead Rat Orchestra - The Black Procession
Public hangings were often preceded by a procession. The condemned were hauled in a cart, and the crowd followed the cart all the way to the gallows. This 17th century ballad imagines a sinister procession of 20 criminals (black tradesmen brought up in hell!), each with their own specialty (it's mostly thieves of some sort), and says that if one of them is innocent, they'll all go free. But of course none of them are.
Funnily enough, the last and worst of them is the thief-catcher. A private cop/detective of sorts, who was supposed to catch criminals and retrieve stolen goods on behalf of the victims, as there was no police as such before the 19th century. Thief-takers were universally despised, since they basically ran a protection racket, extorting thieves and defrauding victims.
Here the ballad is brilliantly performed by Dead Rat Orchestra, from their 2015 album Tyburnia: A Radical History Of 600 Years Of Public Execution.
1712. From The Triumph of Wit, by J. SHIRLEY:—"The twenty craftsmen, described by the notorious thief-taker Jonathan Wild".
But the first edition of The Triumph of Wit was in 1688, long before Jonathan Wild (1682–1725) became London's Moriarty. So I'm guessing this information comes from a later collection which got things wrong.
The ballad is written in thieves' cant, giving us many colourful terms (everyone say thank you to Green's Dictionary of Slang), and a chorus that means: "Look well, listen well, see where they are dragged, up to the gallows where they are hanged."
Good people, give ear, whilst a story I tell,
Of twenty black tradesmen who were brought up in hell,
On purpose poor people to rob of their due;
There's none shall be nooz'd if you find but one true.
The first was a coiner, that stampt in a mould;
The second a voucher to put off his gold,
Toure you well; hark you well, see Where they are rubb'd,
Up to the nubbing cheat where they are nubb'd.
The third was a padder, that fell to decay,
Who used for to plunder upon the highway;
The fourth was a mill-ken to crack up a door,
He'd venture to rob both the rich and the poor,
The fifth was a glazier who when he creeps in,
To pinch all the lurry he thinks it no sin.
The sixth is a file-cly that not one cully spares,
The seventh a budge to track softly upstairs;
The eighth is a bulk, that can bulk any hick,
If the master be nabbed, then the bulk he is sick,
The ninth is an angler, to lift up a grate
If he sees but the lurry his hooks he will bait.
The tenth is a shop-lift that carries a Bob,
When he ranges the city, the shops for to rob.
The eleventh’s a bubber, much used of late;
Who goes to the ale house, and steals all their plate,
The twelfth is a beau-trap, if a cull he does meet
He nips all his cole, and turns him into the street.
The thirteenth a famble, false rings for to sell,
When a mob, he has bit his cole he will tell;
The fourteenth a gamester, if he sees the cull sweet
He presently drops down a cog in the street;
The fifteenth a prancer, whose courage is small,
If they catch him horse-coursing, he's nooz'd once for all.
The sixteenth a sheep-napper, whose trade is so deep,
If he's caught in the corn, he's marked for a sheep
The seventeenth a dunaker, that stoutly makes vows,
To go in the country and steal all the cows;
The eighteenth a kid-napper, who spirits young men,
Tho' he tips them a pike, they oft nap him again.
The nineteenth's a prigger of cacklers who harms,
The poor country higlers, and plunders the farms;
He steals all their poultry, and thinks it no sin,
When into the hen-roost, in the night, he gets in;
The twentieth's a thief-catcher, so we him call,
Who if he be nabb'd will be made pay for all.
There's many more craftsmen whom here I could name,
Who use such-like trades, abandon'd of shame;
To the number of more than three-score on the whole,
Who endanger their body, and hazard their soul;
And yet; though good workmen, are seldom made free,
Till they ride in a cart, and be noozed on a tree.
