#johnsaysno

[07:47] PP: Awesome.

[07:47] PP: I'm coming to claim it.

[07:47] PP: With my body.

[07:47] PP: I'm wearing...

[07:47] PP: a turtleneck.

[07:48] EB: Well

[07:48] EB: That must be warm

[07:48] PP: So warm.

[07:48] PP: So big.

[07:48] PP: Want in?

[07:48] EB: Sure

[07:49] PP: Sweet.

[07:49] PP: Incoming.

[07:50] -- princeofPages [PP] Dive Bomb Dirk --

[07:51] -- exasperatedBartender [EB] totally manly squeak --

[07:52] -- princeofPages [PP] oh so manly --

[07:52] -- princeofPages [PP] Dirk grins from his new positon atop the 'rail --

[07:52] PP: Hello squeaktoy.

[07:53] EB: Shush you.

[07:53] -- princeofPages [PP] His grin softens to a warm smile, and he leans down to nuzzle his nose against John's cheek. --

[07:53] PP: Hi.

[07:54] -- exasperatedBartender [EB] smiles and hums quietly --

[07:54] EB: Hi there

[07:55] EB: What brings you to my lap?

[07:56] -- princeofPages [PP] kisses his jaw lightly --

[07:56] PP: Missed you.

[07:56] EB: I missed you too.

[07:57] -- princeofPages [PP] flops against him heavily, happily crooning --

[07:57] PP: I have so many news.

[07:57] -- exasperatedBartender [EB] chuckles and wraps his arms around him --

[07:57] EB: Oh really?

[07:57] PP: Mhm.

[07:57] PP: First!

[07:57] PP: Mesis. I have a solid kismesis.

[07:57] PP: He is Dave.

[07:58] PP: Not my Dave.

[07:58] PP: A Dave though.

[07:58] EB: Oh? So he actually decided to go with it? Instead of just leaving you hanging?

[07:58] PP: Yeah. We had a talk about it, and he was like, okay so I wasn't clear on this BUT. I want the booty and the cutie.

[07:59] EB: That's great.

[07:59] -- princeofPages [PP] grins and nuzzles into John's neck --

[07:59] PP: And!

[07:59] PP: New mate. <3

[07:59] EB: Oh?

[07:59] PP: Mhmmm!

[07:59] -- princeofPages [PP] squirms happily --

[08:00] EB: Who is it? Do I need to talk with him? :B

[08:00] PP: His name is Horuss. Remember the one I said I'd given up on because he had a mate? Well, it turns out, he broke up with his mate -- not because of me, but because they weren't happy -- and then asked if I wanted to date him.

[08:00] -- princeofPages [PP] snickers --

[08:01] EB: Well. That's great.

[08:01] PP: I think I'd like you to meet him, but try not to scare him off with your big sexy bara body.

[08:01] -- princeofPages [PP] wiggles eyebrows --

[08:01] -- exasperatedBartender [EB] snorts --

[08:01] EB: I'm not that scary

[08:01] PP: No but you're bara and gorgeous.

[08:02] -- exasperatedBartender [EB] rolls eyes --

[08:02] EB: I doubt I'll scare him away

[08:03] -- princeofPages [PP] pets at John's back --

[08:03] PP: Ahhhh I'm so happy about this. And about you.

[08:03] PP: Jeez have you gotten bigger?

[08:03] EB: Wh

[08:03] EB: No

[08:03] EB: If anything, I've gotten smaller.

[08:03] PP: You're not allowed to leave my side ever again.

[08:03] PP: Why?

[08:03] PP: Why are you shrinking?

[08:03] EB: I haven't been working out.

[08:04] PP: Gasp.

[08:04] EB: And you'll have to talk to Blukat about not leaving my side.

[08:04] PP: Well. Okay, you're not allowed to leave my side except for when Blukat is at your side.

[08:04] EB: I like this plan

[08:04] -- princeofPages [PP] starts playfully feeling out John's biceps --

[08:05] PP: Are you gonna get tiny?

[08:05] PP: You gonna turn into my little twinky John?

[08:05] EB: No. I just haven't bothered to work out lately because I've been sleeping better.

[08:05] -- princeofPages [PP] hums --

[08:06] PP: It's good that you've been sleeping.

[08:06] PP: Maybe we could work out together though!

[08:06] EB: I wouldn't mind that

[08:06] PP: I'm woefully animu boy John.

[08:06] PP: The damsel boy from the yaois.

[08:07] PP: Don't let me become so tiny my lovers become dorito chinned big hand monsters.

[08:07] EB: Dirk oh my god

[08:08] PP: Only the ring finger knows John. Only it knows how big those hands really are.

[08:08] EB: Dirk please

[08:08] PP: I don't want to be Pico John.

[08:09] PP: Don't let me be Pico

[08:09] EB: You aren't going to be Pico, Dirk

[08:09] EB: Don't worry

[08:10] -- princeofPages [PP] bats eyelashes theatrically --

[08:10] PP: Will you be my bara dorito chinned moimoi even if I become animu yaois?

[08:11] EB: Of course I will.

[08:11] -- princeofPages [PP] grins and starts pressing little kisses all over his face --

[08:12] -- exasperatedBartender [EB] laughs and nuzzles him --

[08:15] -- princeofPages [PP] smiles up at him lovingly --

[08:15] PP: I really have missed you.

[08:16] EB: I missed you too. It's quite lonely when you aren't around. Definitely quiet. Which is saying something considering I live with an endless number of Karkats

[08:18] -- princeofPages [PP] laughs --

[08:18] PP: I've never asked how that is, by the way.

[08:18] PP: So many Karkats, and from what I see, they're all very --

[08:18] -- princeofPages [PP] and then Dirk's pocket moans --

[08:18] PP: ...

[08:18] EB: uh

[08:19] -- princeofPages [PP] coughs --

[08:19] PP: So.

[08:19] -- princeofPages [PP] Pocket moans --

[08:20] EB: Dirk. What is that?

[08:20] PP: My cellphone.

[08:20] EB: Are you going to answer it?

[08:21] -- princeofPages [PP] grumbles quietly and slips it out of his pocket --

[08:21] -- princeofPages [PP] checks the screen --

[08:21] PP: Eh, it's just Dave.

[08:21] EB: What does he want?

[08:21] -- princeofPages [PP] turns his phone to silent and slips it in his pocket --

[08:21] PP: He just wanted to know when I'd be home.

[08:21] EB: Ah

[08:22] EB: You should say never

[08:22] PP: Oh.

[08:22] PP: Okay.

[08:22] EB: I'm kidding

[08:22] EB: Don't do that

[08:22] -- princeofPages [PP] grins --

[08:22] PP: Gonna do it.

[08:22] EB: Dirk no

[08:22] -- princeofPages [PP] taps his shades --

[08:22] PP: When am I coming back?

[08:22] PP: N...

[08:22] EB: Don't you dare

[08:22] PP: E...

[08:22] PP: V...

[08:22] PP: E...

[08:22] EB: Dirk

[08:22] PP: R.

[08:22] EB: You little shit

[08:22] PP: Hehehe.

[08:23] PP: Oh shit.

[08:23] PP: Now he's crying.

[08:23] EB: DIrk!

[08:23] PP: I didn't mean to!

[08:23] EB: Tell him you didn't mean it!

[08:23] PP: But he's crying!

[08:23] PP: I can't talk to crying people!

[08:23] EB: Dirk!

[08:24] PP: This is technically your fault.

[08:25] EB: Then tell him it was my fault. I'll deal with the consequences

[08:25] PP: But then he might cry even more.

[08:25] EB: I'll deal with it

[08:25] PP: Okay okay.

[08:26] -- princeofPages [PP] taps his shades --

[08:26] PP: Okay, I told him I was kidding. And he called me a few things I can't repeat in polite company.

[08:26] EB: Wow

[08:27] PP: I didn't even know he knew those words I am scandalized.

[08:27] EB: Well.

[08:33] -- princeofPages [PP] grins and nips at his chin --

[08:33] PP: Hello <3

[08:35] -- exasperatedBartender [EB] smiles --

[08:35] EB: Hi

[08:35] -- princeofPages [PP] kisses his nose --

[08:42] PP: So what's been going on with you huh?

[08:43] EB: Not much, really. Mostly taking care of my kids, pet and Pokemon.

[08:43] PP: How are your bbies?

[08:45] EB: They're all really good. Cephal still calls me mama though.

[08:45] -- princeofPages [PP] snickers --

[08:45] PP: Bara bara mama.

[08:45] EB: Shut up you

[08:46] EB: Blukat is supposed to be mama. Not me.

[08:46] PP: Mama bara.

[08:46] EB: Dirk no

[08:46] PP: You're the most bara mama ever.

[08:46] EB: Yea yea. Laugh it up

[08:48] -- princeofPages [PP] grins --

[08:48] PP: You love me~

[08:49] EB: Sometimes I wonder why

[08:49] EB: But I do.

[08:50] -- princeofPages [PP] nuzzles their noses together --

[08:50] PP: You love me because I'm Dirk and you're John.

[08:50] EB: Fair enough

[08:50] -- princeofPages [PP] grins --

[08:51] PP: We were made for each other.

[08:51] -- exasperatedBartender [EB] smiles --

[08:51] EB: Apparently so

[08:54] -- princeofPages [PP] relaxes against him happily, eyes closed --

[08:54] PP: Love you.

[08:54] EB: Love you too

[09:18] -- princeofPages [PP] Dirk reclines against John for a second, humming to himself --

[09:18] PP: Alpha's almost ready to do the thing. He says that he's been honing his skill, and there's... actually a really good chance I'll be okay.

[09:26] EB: I really hope you'll be okay...

[09:30] -- princeofPages [PP] cups John's face --

[09:30] PP: Hey.

[09:30] PP: What kind of moirail would I be if I left you all alone?

[09:30] PP: I'll be fine. Promise.

[09:30] -- exasperatedBartender [EB] nods, smiling slightly --

[09:30] EB: Alright..

[09:32] -- princeofPages [PP] grins and wiggles his eyebrows --

[09:32] PP: You wanna watch my Alpha Bro rip my soul out?

[09:33] EB: Not really.

[09:38] PP: Aw. It'll be fun.

[09:38] PP: Screaming crying aplenty.

[09:40] EB: Dirk

[09:41] -- princeofPages [PP] smiles gently and kisses his cheeks --

[09:41] PP: Kidding.

[09:41] EB: I saw enough happen to your alternate during the game. I don't want to see anything happen to you.

[09:43] -- princeofPages [PP] nods, his thumbs gently caressing JOhn's cheeks --

[09:43] PP: Don't worry.

[09:43] PP: You'll never have to see me hurt. Ever.

[09:43] PP: I promise.

[09:43] -- exasperatedBartender [EB] smiles and nods --

[09:43] EB: Thank you.

[09:45] -- princeofPages [PP] hums --

[09:45] PP: Anyway.

[09:46] -- princeofPages [PP] sighs theatrically --

[09:46] PP: I actually have to go now. I have a date in a few minutes.

[09:46] EB: Oh!

[09:46] EB: You should tell me how it goes later

[09:46] -- princeofPages [PP] nods --

[09:46] PP: I'll come over and we can attempt to lift heavy things while dishing about hot boys.

[09:46] -- princeofPages [PP] SIGHS LOUDLY --

[09:46] PP: Everyone is hot and I am distressed.

[09:47] -- exasperatedBartender [EB] chuckles --

[09:47] EB: I will admit that there are quite a few hot people

[09:47] -- princeofPages [PP] smiles and gives him a tiny kiss --

[09:47] PP: I'll see you later.

[09:48] EB: Definitely.

[09:48] -- princeofPages [PP] waves, then poofs --