#johno;

when i was in high school, i played baseball ( you can even google me on this ). like most teenage american boys, we enjoyed causal evenings full of bullshit and mayhem. one of those blessed days, it was discovered that what i thought was a wounded nipple was actually enlarged with breast milk. yes, on that faithful summer day it was discovered that i could lactate. now, i know what you’re thinking ‘that’s not normal but wow sexy’ and you would be right. it’s such a strange thing that it was forgotten about until warped tour a few years down the road. someone, that i won’t name, tried to bear hug me and it ended with their shirt being wet. you know there are causalities in life and that was one of them. so this is the story of warm milk, the warmest of milks. now you know when i say ‘milk me’ it means i can help flavor your coffee.