#johnnyvalance

"You're actin' more nervous than a wild cat," She quipped lightly, all softness. But there was that lightning in her eyes that told Johnny every move was carefully calculated. "Relax."

Johnny shifted again. "Sorry,"

"Quit sayin' sorry."

He just grinned now. "Sorry,"

And Cherry couldn't help but laugh, leaning back on her knees and resting her hand on Johnny's knee. Her room was quiet beside their echoing giggles and murmurs. Let's just say they got real lucky tonight when Johnny knocked on her window. Her daddy was out on a business trip and her mom...

She didn't like thinking about it. Her mom took the car out a few hours ago, and... well, she'd probably be back by lunchtime. Hopefully.

She swallowed thickly, pushing it all back down. Johnny was the hurt one.

Thankfully, he didn't say nothing. Just winced as Cherry pressed the wash cloth to his cheek again. He was all tense, strung like a tight trip wire, and ready to jump at a moment's notice. And it made Cherry's heart ache like something fierce.

What'd Johnny ever do to anyone to deserve this life? A shiner on his cheek from his Pa, a bruise on his wrist from his Ma, the scraps from the older boys beating on him, every grimace and grinding of his teeth when Cherry got too close, too fast. Her green eyes flickered over his body, taut and scared.

Even now, in the comfort of the girl he knew held him dear, he curled into himself, just so... small. He just watched her watching him, eyes wide and leg bouncing like mad.

She rubbed her thumb soothingly over his dirty jeans. She'd wash her sheets later, no mind. "What was it this time?"

Johnny just bounced and bounced his leg as he worked his jaw tight. He pressed his fingers against his cut-up, dirty cheek.

"Just my Pa," He mumbled like it was nothing. "Got mad, threw me down those ol’ porch steps."

And glory, Cherry had to push down her anger then and there. 'Cause it just ain't fair. The world ain't fair for either of them, but it ain't right she got to sit in her fancy penthouse while Johnny was left beaten and hungry.

Sometimes she got in her own head, wondering what she even had to complain about. Her parents fought and argued, sure. Her daddy ain't around and her mom got sad and they argued, but compared to Johnny? Compared to the Curtis' that lost their folks entirely? It was a dang disgrace on her name to complain at all.

It was only when Johnny's fingers brushed over her's, intertwining their hand, that she let herself breathe again. Her lips twitched into a gentle smile as she looked up at him, subtle, but she saw him pick it up. Of course he did. Johnny saw every look and tell the rest of the world missed.

She leaned forward to press a tiny peck to his fingers, with a squeeze of her hand. She noted how his cheeks flushed and glory, this boy just melted her heart straight up.

He squared his shoulders tight again and even though Cherry could see that look in his eyes — the urge to pull away, to squeeze back and curl up and hide — he just stared at their joined hands and fiddled with Cherry's fingers. His callouses and tiny scars brushed against her unharmed fingertips.

"Ya don't gotta do all this," Johnny mumbled quietly, leg bouncing again. "I can look after myself, I mean— this ain't my first go."

Oh. Cherry pursed her lips in thought. He didn't mean nothing by it, she knew that but still. Ouch.

"I'm helpin’ you because I want to," She stressed. She adjusted herself, tossing her hair over her shoulder and leaning forward as she raised the rag again. "I'm your girl, right?"

Cherry woulda chuckled at how quickly he flushed and got nervous if it weren't such a somber situation.

"Well— I— Yeah, right, but ain't ya—"

Johnny cut off when Cherry pressed the cloth to the scratch on his jaw, with a sharp flinch and hiss. But Cherry also saw how quickly he corrected himself — tensed his muscles and squeezed his fists tight into the duvet. Like he was toughening himself up for a punch waiting to come. He was always waiting for the next worst thing, huh?

"John," She said softly. Her hand wasn't trembling when she lowered it down to his lap, it wasn't. "I can sure tell you're hidin’ it well, but I— I know you're in pain."

And Johnny winced like she said something stabbing to his heart, jittery and nervous. "Cher..."

"I mean it." She was certain. Dead certain and she wasn't budging. "I don't mean just physical, it's..."

She faltered with a sigh. "It's more than that. It's somethin’ weighin’ on ya every day and I swear, someday it's bound to kill ya. I— I'm scared for you, Johnny."

And Johnny just stared at her, like a doe caught in the headlights.

This was hard most of the time. It was hard for them to meet, to hold each other, the kiss each other, to open up. Like everything was working against them in one way or another. And this was... one of those things.

"You can talk to me. Or— or just tell me when something's going on or when ya need help or..." She shook her head. "I don't know. I don't know what we gotta do but it— it hurts to see you all roughed up and not bein’ able to do a dang thing about it."

And to Johnny's credit, he looked properly chastised. But this wasn't his fault, she wasn't trying to blame her boyfriend at all, it was just...

It was just hard all around.

Johnny swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. "I know, but... Hell, ain't like I got much I can do 'bout it, Cher." He scoffed, foot tapping like mad.

"I know," She whispered quietly, her heart falling. "But... It..."

She trailed off, suddenly lost. There wasn't nothing either of them could do with so many forces against them. It wasn't just her being a Soc or Johnny being a greaser, there was... just so much more at stake than that.

"I dunno," She whispered quietly.

The silence rang, bouncing between the air between them and ringing through her ears. It wasn't nothing angry between them, no, just... glum.

Johnny squared his jaw again and was practically twitching with how anxious he was. His hand toyed with the hand towel absently. No, purposefully. To soothe himself.

"I just ain't used to having help," He murmured in a low voice, eyes jumping between Cherry and her door and her window.

And glory, she was so sweet on this boy, she could feel her heart melt in an instant. "I know,"

Johnny had his gang, his friends, but... he still didn't let no one in like this, not really. He was a tough exterior with a guarded heart and mind. When he was younger, small, like an elementary school child, he had the Curtis parents, sure, but that faded when he got older and things got worse. Then they died in that accident, and...

Johnny had never had no one there for him to patch his wounds. He learned how to on his own. Heck, Cherry felt the same way sometimes. She learned to care for herself on her own. She wasn't patching her own wounds or nothing, but she learned how to feed herself and walk herself to school and hide her tears from the rest of the world.

She sighed gently and picked up the wash cloth again. She wasn't a quitter, at least she can say that about herself.

"Can I just..." She blinked up to Johnny, and in that moment, there was nothing but adoration and love in his eyes. "Will you let me help ya?"

And in that moment, Johnny's eyes softened. He breathed in the air flowing from the open window and the distant scent of old perfume that was sprayed. And his hand reached for Cherry's face, a gentle and loving touch amid all the shared neglect in their lives. And Cherry took it. She leaned into Johnny's palm, resting, watching him like he held her world upright.