#jive.

           you’re trying your hardest to be civil, to keep things passive. you just don’t know if that’s possible when talking to nico. it’s almost like she wants you to be mad at her, like she’s pushing for you to tell her off. you usually aren’t the bigger person when it comes to things like this, you’re only doing this for the sake of your friends. it’s embarrassing to constantly have arguments with someone in your friend group, and you realize that. you can admit that sometimes you do provoke her, it’s fun. you enjoy the adrenaline of a heated argument, it makes you feel like you can do anything. 

          yet here you are, trying to mend things, because the tension between you and nico makes things uncomfortable. that’s what you were told through a text between one of your mutual friends, that’s the only reason why you’re trying to fix things. 

          “ you should care because i’m obviously trying my best right now. ”

          you don’t want to be petty, you don’t want to start an argument (well, you kiinda do -- but), that’s not what you’re here for. however, you feel the need to push further. almost as if you have to start something. 

“  who  did  WHAT  ?  ”  a  puzzled  expression  manipulated  her  features  ,  an  expression  that  didn’t  last  long  because  it  soon  turned  to  anger  .  WHEN  I  GET  MY  HANDS  ON  THAT  MOTHERF- she  pushed  the  thought  away  with  a  shake  of  the  head  .  she  was  working  on  getting  better  at  this  ,  learning  how  to  control  her  temper  .  emphasis  on  working  ,  MARITZA  STILL  HAS  A  LOT  OF  LEARNING  TO  DO  .  moments  like  these  really  tested  her  ability  to  remain  calm  .

“  he  snuck  you  too  ?  ”  she  chuckled,  not  because  it  was  funny  ,  she  just  knew  how  much  of  a  coward  some  people  could  be  .  “  he  fucking  snuck  you  ?  ” she  tried  not  to  let  the  rage  take  control  over  her  thoughts  .  she  had  been  working  so hard  ,  she  had  been  actually  trying  .  but  this  ?  she’d  be  willing  to  throw  that  all  away  if  it  meant  protecting  vivian  .