This morning I had the weirdest interaction with another human being that I've had in months. Like, probably the weirdest I've had since I was in Japan.
So I'm woken up by the doorbell ringing. I usually ignore it if someone's ringing my doorbell in the morning because our mail comes in the evening and if it's someone I know then they can always call me. Anyway, this person keeps ringing the doorbell and they're opening and closing the mail slot repeatedly so I go downstairs to answer it, just in case it's my friend who usually does that shit if he's gone on a mad bender overnight and his phone's out of battery.
I go downstairs and I can see through the door window that it's some random charity person but she sees me so I have to answer now. I open the door and she's an older woman, very short, slightly obese, stained teeth. She looks like she could be in her 50s or 60s but I'd bet she's actually a lot younger than that. She asks me how old I am so I tell her I'm 17. (I'm 24.) Charity people leave you alone when they find out you're under 18 normally, but this woman is like "you've got such a beautiful face, you should be a model."
I should have just thanked her and closed the door but I go and run my mouth - I actually am a model. She asks me who I work for and I tell her I used to be with an agency but now I'm a free agent. She asks me why I'm not with an agency any more and I say that I don't know but it might something to do with the colour of my skin. She's like "yeah they're all FUCKING racists". She tells me that she wants to be a model too and that she's gone to a bunch of agencies but they always want like Ā£100+ for a photoshoot. Those are scams, btw, so I let her know that a proper agency will never ask you for money for photos. She asks me for the details of the agency I was with and since I've literally just woken up I don't think to make bullshit up, I tell her the name and where it is. She's like "so I can just drop in whenever" and I'm like "yeah sure I guess".
I'm hoping that's it but then I have the following exchange.
"Maybe you should be in movies, you're so beautiful."
"Uhh, thank you."
"Do you have any brothers or sisters in the house?"
"No."
"Now that's just fucking wrong. Tell your parents to get busy."
"Excuse me?"
"Your parents have a child that looks like YOU and they only have one? That's not right. Tell your parents to have another... Actually, I guess they must be quite elderly now. "
"Yes?"
"Okay well here's our website address so you can give us money through there."
She then repeats her charity's website address to me six times in a row, then gets out her pen and asks me to write down the name of my old agency again. She also asks me how long I was with them, and I nearly slip up and say two years, but since I'm "17" I tell her a few months. She only realised it was time for her to leave when I put my hand on the door frame and started closing it while she keeps telling me I'm beautiful and I close the door.
So yeah a small overweight old woman is going to rock up to my old agency and probably tell them I sent her. I hope she gets some nice pictures taken. As a side note, the charity's website looks fake as hell.
