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Jesse stands watch over what little they have left, staring blankly at the grey expanse.
Rating: Teen, No Archive Warnings
Tags: Angst, survivor's guilt, Jesse Lives (and is going through it), Post Order 66
https://archiveofourown.org/works/84545886
@jessixweek
Ramblings about my plans for Jessix Week below the cut.
First of all, very delighted that there's a Jessix Week again so thank you to the organisers for putting this together! I think they're @medic-6116 and @prowlingthunder but please correct me if I'm wrong.
My original plan for Jessix Week was to write one large fic in response to the Alt Prompt: Jesse Lives, maybe with a few other prompts thrown in as well. It would be set in my series Strike Fast in the Dark, an Everyone Lives Clone Rebellion AU, and would be written in the style of two other fics I've written for that series, Knowing You Now and Woven Together. Both fics are a collection of drabbles of various lengths, focusing on a specific ship and characters (Cody/Echo/Fives/Rex). So the plan was to write a Jessix fic in this AU in the same style.
However, a couple of things happened.
As I was writing these various fics, they started to become more disparate from each other. They didn't really fit together in the same way the drabbles of various lengths in the other fics did. There wasn't really a flow between them and some of the fics are vastly different from each other.
I've also been struggling with really bad writers block for the past 6 months. Working on these fics has been slow going and most of them are still WIPs that I need to finish. In an effort to try and rekindle any kind of writing flow, I've been trying to remove any kind of restrictions that might've been getting in the way, like adhering to a strict word count. I've just been trying to write, and that's it. Because of this, fics that I had planned to be drabbles of various lengths have now grown into longer pieces of writing. But it is at least writing! The fact that I've managed to write anything at all is great and I'm trying to be kind to myself about that and see it as at an achievement.
On top of all this, my health, work, and life have really been rough. Being disabled and chronically ill sucks, and work keeps on taking over my life so I have a lot less time and spoons to write.
I looked over all the Jessix Week fics I'm working on and realised that they don't work together as one large fic like I had originally planned. So rather than one large fic in response to one prompt, I've ended up with about 7-8 smaller fics, all in response to the same prompt. Well, one fic and a bunch of wips tbh, I still have to finish most of them *sobs*. They're all in response to the Alt Prompt: Jesse Lives, but I'm going to space out when I post them so I'm not spamming a bunch of posts on the same day. Though let's be real, I'll probably still be working on them up until the end of June 😂
@jessixweek(/jeskixterweek) 2026 shortfic; day 1 - X fell first, Y fell harder
Warnings: mentioned severe injury
- During the Selucami mission where Rex gets injured, Jesse finds himself becoming increasingly uncomfortable with Kix calling him “Sir”, but he can’t figure out why, let alone tell Kix how he’s feeling. He’s never been good at talking emotions, and not having Rex for guidance as he takes over as leader isn’t helping matters. However, being a bumbling fool might just be the thing that will (or perhaps already has) win over Kix’s heart. {AKA; how Jesse and Kix first started dating 😉}
Say My Name, Say My Name
Jesse wasn’t fond of the idea of leaving Rex at this farm with this strange Twi’lek woman on his own.
Neither were Kix and Hardcase, clearly, but it wasn’t like they had a choice.
“Ready to head out, Sir.” Kix’s soft, gentle voice murmured from close behind Jesse, and he suppressed a wince.
That was another issue, completely unrelated to the one at hand.
How long had he and Kix known each other? Certainly long enough that they could call each other by name.
“Right,” Jesse said, not looking at Kix and pushing his confusing thoughts aside for a moment, “with me.”
Well that was stupid. Who else would they be following? Rex had put him in charge.
Jesse just hoped he hadn’t made a mistake in doing so.
The three of them sped off into the night on their jumpspeeders, with one less than they’d had, one less trooper with them. It felt wrong to leave without Rex, so incredibly wrong.
“I don’t like this.” Hardcase said, speaking Jesse’s mind - likely Kix’s too.
“I know,” Jesse sighed, “neither do I.”
He wasn’t sure how to keep the conversation going, but thankfully, Hardcase and Kix both seemed to decide to end it there.
None of them spoke the rest of the way back to the rendezvous point with General Kenobi.
“Are you alright, Sir?”
Jesse turned around at Kix’s soft murmur from gazing out across the wetlands of Selucami. He tried not to think about how much he still hated hearing Kix call him “Sir”.
They’d made it back to General Kenobi, but now all they had to do was sit around and wait as they tracked Grievous.
“You’re… worried about the captain, aren’t you?” Kix went on before Jesse could answer his first question, and Jesse gave a small nod.
He didn’t exactly like admitting that he was worried - well, terrified, really - but if he was going to admit it to anyone, it would be Kix.
But why was it still so damn hard to just ask him to call him by his name instead of his title, then?
A short silence stretched between them, with nothing but the sounds of the morning creatures at the edge of the swamp and the other troopers in the camp preparing to move out again.
“I think I should go back.” Kix said finally, and Jesse blinked at him in shock.
“To Rex?” He asked, and Kix nodded seriously.
The look of determination in his eyes was so endearing that Jesse had to fight not to smile.
“What if he needs me?” Kix said, “what if the wound gets infected in that barn? What if he tries to leave before it’s healed and injures himself worse? What if-”
“Kix,” Jesse cut him off, taking half a step closer so he could place his hand on Kix’s shoulder, “you’re overthinking.”
“I’m a medic,” Kix replied matter-of-factly, “it’s my job to overthink, Sir.”
Jesse wasn’t sure if that was true, but he wasn’t about to argue with Kix over what being a medic entailed.
“I’m sorry, Kix, but I can’t let you do that,” he said as gently as possible, “we… I need you here right now. Rex put me in charge, and I can’t lead this mission without a medic.”
Kix looked like he wanted to argue that there were other medics present, but he didn’t. He stared intently into Jesse’s face for a moment, a quiet but nevertheless burning annoyance hidden deep in his eyes, before his gaze softened.
He seemed to have come to a realization, and Jesse silently prayed that it wasn’t that the thought of doing this without Kix made him want to crawl back into his tent and cry - it was bad enough that he was in this position without Rex’s guidance, but without Kix? He was doomed.
“But…” Jesse went on slowly, “you were right when you said the health of the troops is your priority, and when it comes to that, you outrank everyone. If you really feel you have to go back and tend to Rex, then go.”
The softness in Kix’s eyes turned into a slight sparkle, something that might’ve been affection, but Jesse didn’t have enough time to figure that out.
Kix dipped his head respectfully.
“Thank you, Sir,” he said softly, and Jesse tried not to make a face, “but I see your point. The health of the troops is my priority, but I’d be abandoning my responsibilities if I left now.”
Jesse swallowed hard against what felt like a rock lodged in his throat.
“So you’ll stay?” He asked, hoping his tone sounded more casual to Kix than it did to him, and Kix let out the slightest laugh through his nose.
“Yes, Sir,” he murmured, “you’re in charge, I will follow your orders.”
Jesse wanted to say that he’d been more than willing to let Kix decide on his own without giving him any orders, but Kix was already walking away.
He sighed, turning his gaze back to the expanse of wetlands they’d rode across last night, at the orange sun rising just above the horizon, turning the sky to greenish-yellow and cyan.
Somewhere beyond where the sun had risen was the farm where they’d left Rex.
Kix wasn’t the only one who wanted to go back. If Jesse wasn’t the one in charge while Rex wasn’t here, he’d already be back on his jumpspeeder, riding all the way back to Rex, just to confess to him that his mind and his heart were so full of confusing feelings that he didn’t think he could do this.
“Please come back soon, Rex,” Jesse murmured softly into the breeze, “I need you.”
The Resolute was absolutely unbearably quiet.
It wasn’t like the mission to Selucami had been difficult. It hadn’t been. Not physically at least. But it seemed the entire 501st was incredibly shaken by the fact that their captain had been injured so terribly.
Rex was still on the Negotiator with General Kenobi and Commander Cody, the 212th’s head medic saying that moving him around from ship to ship wasn’t a great idea.
Jesse had expected Rex to protest to that. Strangely, he didn’t.
He was glad that Rex was alright, of course, and that he’d recover, but him not being here still left Jesse feeling… empty.
Without making the conscious decision to do so, Jesse found himself making his way to the medbay. He needed to see Kix. He just needed to.
Coric was the first medic Jesse encountered when he reached his destination, as stone-faced and curt as always.
“You hurt?” He asked Jesse gruffly.
“N-no, Sir, I’m fine.” Jesse replied, suddenly feeling like he was a shiny again, and not just because of Coric’s intimidating presence.
“Then get the hell out,” Coric grumbled, turning away without even giving Jesse a second look, “we’re busy, and I don’t need you distracting the other medics.”
Jesse glanced around the medbay.
There weren’t that many patients, and few of them had injuries as severe as Rex’s. On top of that, most of them were resting, the other 501st medics busying themselves with other tasks.
“Where is Kix?” Jesse asked when he realized he wasn’t in sight.
Coric sighed heavily.
“The storage closets,” he responded gruffly, “now do what I asked and leave.”
Jesse wasn’t listening anymore, striding past Coric on his way to the storage closets at the back.
He heard Coric start to call out to him before letting out another angry sigh and mumbling something about younger Clones having no respect for their superiors. Jesse ignored him.
Kix was stacking bandages and rearranging supplies in the back of one of the closets, humming quietly to himself.
Jesse almost hated to disrupt him, he seemed so at peace despite the fact that Jesse knew he was just as stressed over what had happened with Rex. Nevertheless, Jesse knocked lightly on the inside of the door with his knuckles to get his attention.
Kix started slightly, head whipping around to face him.
“Mind if I come in?” Jesse asked tentatively.
Kix stared at him for a moment before nodding.
“Not at all, Sir.” He murmured.
Jesse bit the inside of his mouth as he stepped into the closet, letting the door slide shut behind him. Then he shuffled his feet awkwardly on the floor, feeling the rumbling vibration of the ship’s engines rattling up through his legs.
“I’ve always liked closets.” He mumbled finally, and immediately wanted to smash his head into the wall.
Kix raised an eyebrow at him.
“Really, Sir?” He asked, “you don’t like tight spaces.”
And how had he known that? It was true, Jesse was a bit claustrophobic, and to be honest he wasn’t exactly comfortable in this just-a-little-too-small room, but he hadn’t told many people that.
“Y-yeah,” he muttered when he realized Kix was still expecting an answer, “but, closets are… different, I guess. You can hide in ‘em, give yourself a little privacy-”
“Is there a reason you’re in here, Sir?” Kix asked, somewhat impatiently even though his tone was still polite, “I’m a bit busy at the moment.”
Jesse pursed his lips, swallowing hard against the anxiety rising up his throat from his stomach.
“H-how are you, Kix?” He asked quietly, his voice much thinner than he wanted it to be, “after… all this?”
Kix looked up at him for a moment, seemingly caught a little off guard by the question, before he went back to puttering with the medical supplies.
“I’m doing just fine, Sir,” he murmured, “all in the line of duty.”
Jesse winced slightly.
“Can we maybe drop the ‘Sir’?” He asked, and now Kix really looked at him - it wasn’t just a quick little glance, he made direct eye contact with Jesse and held it.
“Sorry?” He said after a moment.
Jesse cleared his throat awkwardly.
“I… I-I don’t really need you to call me that,” he mumbled, looking away because he wouldn’t have been able to speak if he kept staring at Kix, “it’s just a title, it feels-”
“What would you have me call you then, Lieutenant?” Kix cut him off, and now there was just the slightest edge to his voice, like he was really saying ‘just spit out whatever it is you’re trying to tell me, Jesse’.
It was a little taste of a new side of Kix, one Jesse hadn’t seen before. One that was snippier and more sarcastic, not at all the shy, reserved, and quiet medic Jesse was used to, and damn did it make his heart flutter in his chest.
“Well…” he said, scratching the back of his neck and certain by now that his face was as red as the medic symbol on Kix’s shoulder, “I… my name, maybe?”
He risked a look back at Kix’s face, and saw that his eyes held an unreadable emotion.
Kix strode closer to Jesse, so that now they were standing just inches apart.
“Your name?” He echoed, almost disbelievingly.
Jesse nodded, wishing he couldn’t feel the sweat dripping uncomfortably down his back under his blacks.
“Uh… yeah,” he said, “is… that okay?”
“Of course it is.” Kix answered.
Jesse blinked rapidly.
“Great,” he murmured, forcing a smile, “so, uh… maybe after we get back to Coruscant… I could take you out for drinks? Like, at 79’s?”
Now Kix looked really surprised, raising his eyebrows.
“Are you asking me out on a date?” He asked, and Jesse felt his heart slam into the back of his throat (or maybe it was his lunch).
“I… it could be a date…” he said, “or… could just be two friends hanging out together after a particularly harrowing mission. Y’know, with what happened with the Cap’ and all…”
He searched Kix’s gaze for any sign of rejection, and thankfully there was none. But he didn’t answer the question right away either, considering it for an agonizingly long time.
Then, he gave the smallest of shrugs.
“A date it is, then.” He mused, turning back to the medical supplies he’d been packing away.
“Great…” Jesse sighed in relief, what Kix had said not fully registering for a second. Then it hit him like a lightning bolt. “Wait, what did you just-?”
“A date would be lovely,” Kix murmured, the only clue that he wasn’t as nonchalant about this as he sounded being the fact that he couldn’t make eye contact anymore, “I’ve been… wondering when you were gonna ask.”
Jesse blinked, his mouth hanging open slightly but no words coming out.
When he didn’t say anything, Kix finally looked back at him. When he saw the look on Jesse’s face, the straight line his mouth had been set in wavered into a smile, before he burst out laughing.
“What?” Jesse demanded, “what’s so funny?”
“Your face!” Kix exclaimed, covering his mouth, “I’m sorry, Jesse, I don’t mean to laugh-”
“You said my name.” Jesse cut him off, and Kix immediately stopped laughing.
“You wanted me to.” He said, and Jesse suddenly felt himself smiling.
“Say it again for me, would you?”
Kix raised an eyebrow with a slight smirk.
“Okay, Jesse.”
Jesse had to bite his lip to hold back the painfully smitten sigh that tried to escape him.
“That’s better,” he murmured, “that’s much better.”
He closed the distance between himself and Kix, his hand coming to rest on Kix’s cheek and their faces hovering barely a breath’s width apart. Then he realized his body had acted before his mind caught up and froze with Kix staring at him expectantly.
“Can I ask you something, Jesse?” He said softly.
Jesse nodded, silently counting the tiny freckles he’d just noticed on Kix’s cheeks. He’d never been this close to Kix before.
“Can you kiss me?”
Once again, Jesse felt like he’d been hit by a massive weight. It took him a moment to even think of a response. Then he grinned.
“I thought you’d never ask.” He replied, before cradling the nape of Kix’s neck in his hand and bringing their lips together for their first kiss.
It was brief, really just a tender peck. That was all Jesse could muster because he suddenly felt his knees get weak.
“Are you okay?” Kix asked when he saw Jesse swaying slightly.
“Y-yeah, just…” Jesse stammered, “I never thought this would happen. I’m a little dizzy.”
Kix smiled.
“I think you need a medic, then.” He said, and before Jesse could ask what that meant, he’d pulled him into another kiss. This one was more passionate, and lasted longer.
Remarkably, by some incredible feat, Jesse didn’t faint. Not right away, at least.
They were both out of breath by the time their lips parted again, and Jesse chuckled weakly.
“Wow…” he panted, feeling a bit of a headrush.
Then the room tilted, and suddenly he was falling backwards against a shelf.
“Jesse! Kix!” Hardcase’s voice called at the same time as he poked his head through the door, “General Skywalker wants-” he broke off as he noticed that Jesse was on the floor. “Is he okay?”
Kix laughed shyly.
“He’s fine, Hardcase,” he murmured, “just a little… overexcited.”
Hardcase glanced between them both in confusion before giving a short nod.
“Okay…” he said hesitantly, “well, General Skywalker wants to see us all in the control room, you two comin’, or…?
Kix looked at Jesse - who was still slumped against the shelf with a goofy, blissed-out grin on his face - and raised one eyebrow in amusement.
“In a moment,” he answered without looking back at Hardcase, “I have to get the lieutenant back on his feet first…”
Hardcase nodded again, then left without saying another word.
Kix knelt on the floor in front of Jesse with a chuckle.
“You okay there, Jesse?” He asked.
“Uh… yeah,” Jesse mumbled, “maybe don’t kiss me like that again without warning me first, though?”
Kix laughed harder.
“You’re cute,” he said, “have I told you that?”
“Wouldn’t mind hearing it again.”
“Well you are. Idiot.”
The last part was said with immense affection, and Jesse beamed even wider - if that were even physically possible.
“So are you.” He murmured.
He took Kix by the shoulders and gently leaned into him for a third kiss, and this time the fluttering anxiety in his chest seemed to phase out of him and flutter away.
