#clone trooper jesse

"Fives, I swear if you burned something again, you’re losing kitchen privileges,” you groaned, opening a window to air out lingering smoke.

"It's not burned, it's caramelized," Fives explained, holding the pan up like evidence in his own defense.

Kix squinted at the pan from across the room, “You sure you don’t mean carbonized?”

You finished opening the last window and leaned against the counter with your arms crossed, watching Fives try to salvage the pot of who knows what. "Give it," you sighed, holding out a hand toward the pan. Fives passed it over without argument. You skimmed the burnt layer off the top, gave the food a stir, and handed it back like nothing happened.

Over in the living room, Jesse was sitting on the couch, unusually quiet. When you looked up, you realized he was watching you with the same unreadable expression he'd been giving you more and more lately. He broke eye contact the instant he was caught. You wanted to ask him about it, but with Fives in the kitchen, you figured now wouldn’t be the best time. 

"Ready to eat?" Hardcase asked you, already sliding a plate your way before you even reached the counter.

You glanced down at the plate, "Did Fives make all of it?"

"Hey!" Fives snapped, tossing a dirty dish towel onto the counter. “It’s better than the rations we used to get.” 

"Anything is better than the rations we used to get," Tup muttered, squeezing himself into a spot at the table. 

You joined him at the too small table with too many chairs pulled up around it. The house belonged to nobody and everybody. When the war ended, the Senate was able to set up decommission pensions for all the clones. It wasn’t much, but pooled together, it was enough for a group of 501st boys to get this house. To no surprise, the Jedi Order didn’t give you anything when you left. But, the boys weren’t going to leave their general behind. You were technically ‘just staying’, but before long, the room you were staying in pretty much became yours permanently. In a way, you felt bad, but the boys insisted it was the least they could do after all you’ve done for them during the war. 

By the time dinner was eaten and the dishes were done, the boys were ready to make their ways to their separate rooms to wind down for the night. You, however, weren’t tired at all.  You slipped out the back door instead, and sat down on the patio sofa, listening to the wildlife wake up for the night. You began to lose track of time sitting out there, when the sudden sound of the door hissing open broke through the silence. 

"Are you asleep?"

You didn't have to turn around to identify who it was. After years at their sides during the war, you were able to pick up the slightest differences in their voices. “Yeah, I am. Out cold actually."

That earned you a laugh from Jesse, "I didn't know Jedi could sleeptalk."

"Former Jedi,” you corrected him. “But, I’m sure we all sleeptalk, even you."

Jesse shook his head as he lowered himself down on the patio sofa beside you. His shoulder brushed yours as he settled. To any onlookers, it would have seemed like a romantic gesture, but after spending so much time in cramped quarters with the very boys you now live with, the gesture became completely meaningless. His one leg was bouncing slightly before he caught himself and attempted to stop it with no luck. It was almost like his body didn't understand that there was nothing left to be restless about.

"You always do this," Jesse noted, picking stray leaves off the sofa. 

"Do what? Sit outside at night? I think this is the most normal thing I’ve done in a long time,” you rolled your eyes and reached out for one the leaves Jesse took off the couch, then threw it at him.

He laughed, flicking the leaf away, "No. I mean coming out here instead of sleeping."

You considered making a joke, but you went with the honest response instead, "I just enjoy the sounds of the wildlife at night. It’s not something you’d ever get on Coruscant or in an active warzone." You glanced over at him, "But hey, you're one to talk. I don't think I've seen you sleep past 0600 since we got here."

"Old habits," he brushed it off, then changed the topic completely, "You remember that mission on Felucia? The one with that deep cliff side?"

You shrugged, trying to pinpoint which of the many missions he was referring to, "Maybe? I just remember it being disgustingly humid for a place so pretty."

"The one where Tup lost his footing and began to tumble down that cliff,” he clarified, shaking his head in disbelief, “You jumped right off that cliff to get him. It looked like you didn’t even hesitate for a second. You just went. I remember thinking, that's the most reckless thing I've ever seen a Jedi do, and I really hope she does that again sometime."

You laughed, "That’s awful! Why would you want me to jump off a cliff?"

"Oh no, I agree. I was just shocked you were willing to do something like that for one of us. I was kind of badass.” Jesse now had his whole body angled toward you without seeming to notice he did it. "Then on Anaxes, when Rex nearly thought he was losing his mind over thinking Echo was still alive. It seemed like Rex was pleading his case to every General and getting speculation in response. But you just have him that look and-"

"What look?"

"You know the look." He gestured at your face, then threw his head back, smiling. "The one that let us all know that you believed in us."

You playfully scoffed, "That's leadership, Jesse."

"Sure, we can call it leadership. But it meant a hell of a lot more than leadership to us." Jesse emphasized the last part, giving you a lazy mock salute. 

You bumped his shoulder with yours. Instead of staying put, he let the motion carry him a little closer to you. "You know Jesse, you seem to remember a lot for someone who just a few months ago claimed he wasn't paying attention half the time during the war."

"Yeah," he admitted, dropping his gaze to his hands in his lap. "Thinking back, I remember a lot of it. More than I probably should. Maybe if I paid closer attention to, I don’t know, formations, different strategies, aiming technique, anything that wasn't you, then maybe I could have gotten the ARC promotion sooner."

You went still. "Wait, you what?"

"I've been trying to figure out how to say this for a long time," he sighed, lacing his hands together tight enough that his knuckles began to go pale. "It all started as just noticing the kind things you did. And then somewhere it stopped being just noticing and started being more than that. There was never a good time to say it, because you were a Jedi, and I was just a clone. No matter how many sleepless nights I spent running each scenario over in my head, each one ended horribly.” 

He glanced at you quickly, checking your face before he kept going, "But then when the war ended you actually left the Order. I can’t even begin to imagine that decision process. I know you did that for your own reasons, but now it means that I can say what I want to say without it being against some code, or something that I have to hide.”

"Jesse. What are you-” 

"I like you," he cut you off, finally getting his feelings off of his chest. "I have for a long time and I didn't want to keep sitting on it because somehow, that feeling keeps growing each day."

At your lack of reaction, he immediately started to freak out. "You don't have to say anything," he stammered, the words coming out fast. "Seriously, you don't owe me anything. I just-"

"Stop," you hushed him, reaching out to take hold of his hands. "You didn’t panic once throughout the war, and this is what finally does it?"

Jesse blinked, a disbelieving chuckle coming over him as he finally let the tension in his shoulders drop. "Right. Yeah, okay." He straightened up, gathering himself. "Would you, or, well, I would like to take you somewhere. Not a come help me with something or a can you come with me to get food from the market, but something planned."

You raised an eyebrow, "So a date?"

Jesse froze for a second. He swallowed hard, his confidence wavering again before he forced himself to hold your gaze and give you a single nod. "Yeah, a date." he confirmed, the word coming out a little breathier than he intended. 

"Alright," you hummed, squeezing his hands gently. "What do you have in mind?"

The smile dropped off his face. His eyes darted around the porch like he was frantically scanning for a threat that wasn’t there. His mouth opened and closed as he realized that he didn’t plan for anything past this point. 

"For the date," you clarified, trying to draw him back in.

"Right. The date. Yes." He nodded several times, pulling his hand from yours and rubbing the back of his neck. "I have a plan. There's definitely a plan."

"So what is it?" You asked, leaning forward just enough to force him to look at you. 

"There is no plan," he admitted, letting his hands fall into his lap, defeated. "I didn’t think I'd get this far. I had, like, three different versions of this conversation ready and every single one of them ended with you turning me down and both of us agreeing to never speak of it again."

You laughed, shaking your head, "Apparently ARC troopers can make thousands of split second decisions, but not when it comes to dates?"

"Hey, war I can handle. I did not expect to get this far with this." He ran a hand over his face again, "We could do dinner! Or what if I taught you some hand to hand combat that I learned in ARC training?"

“Hand to hand combat?” you repeated, biting the inside of your cheek to hold back a laugh. "Remember that time when Fives wanted to go hand to hand with me and I kicked his ass?"

Jesse rolled his eyes, “I’m stronger than Fives.”

"Strength isn't really the deciding factor when you’re fighting a Jedi," you pointed out, crossing your arms across your chest.

"Former Jedi," he corrected sarcastically, earning himself a soft slap on the shoulder with the back of your hand. “Okay, Kix mentioned there's a decent overlook not too far from here. He said it’s a good spot for watching the moon rise."

You took a deep breath, "So the boys already knew about this."

"Apparently, the boys have known about this longer than I have," He down at his hands in his lap, then back up at you, "Is the moon thing bad? Please tell me if the moon thing is bad."

You reached over and took his hands again, “Pick a day and I’ll be there.”

He let out a breath that he felt like he was holding since the war ended, and laced his fingers in yours like it was the easiest thing he'd done all night. "Wait. Seriously?" he asked, a smile finally fighting through the nerves, "You're actually saying yes?"

"Just pick the day," you replied, leaning into his shoulder.

Jesse didn't hesitate. "Tomorrow."

You gave his hand another squeeze, "Tomorrow it is.”

Hesitantly, Jesse slipped one of his hands from yours. He hovered his arm on the back of the sofa as if silently checking to make sure it was alright, before wrapping his arm around your shoulders. You let yourself lean into him, settling deeper against his shoulder. You felt a quiet sigh leave his chest as he relaxed, pulling you closer. Down between you, your other hand stayed securely intertwined with his. Jesse kept glancing down at your joined hands like he needed to keep making sure it was real.

"You keep looking at my hand," you noted, raising your joined hands a few inches. 

“I've thought about this,” he admitted, “Embarrassingly often honestly. There'd be moments during the war when I just needed my mind to be elsewhere.” Jesse’s thumb began tracing the back of your hand. "I remember back on Saleucami, after Rex was hit. You held his hand while Kix patched him up, and as messed up as it was I was jealous. Every time a brother was hurt and you took their hand to comfort them, I just wished it was mine you were holding."

"That is messed up Jesse," you half scolded, half laughed at him, "You don’t have to get shot just to hold my hand. Ask Fives.”

Jesse gasped. "Fives?"

"It was his very first mission with the 501st," you explained, closing your eyes to picture the memory. "The gunship was rattling and right before those doors opened, he looked terrified. So I reached over and squeezed his hand for a few seconds. It seemed to do the trick, he calmed right down."

Jesse let out a dramatic groan, tilting his head back against the back of the sofa. "Oh, come on!"

You shrugged, "For what it’s worth it meant nothing."

"He probably worshipped that hand for a week." Jesse mumbled as he tightened his grip around yours like he was making up for lost time. 

"Are you disappointed?" you asked, looking back at him.

"No, it was worth the wait." He leaned his head to the side, resting the side of his head on yours. "I think I could sit here all night. Just like this. I don't think it gets much better than this."

You took a deep breath, nuzzling your cheek into his shoulder. "If you think holding hands on a cold porch is good, just wait until I kiss you."

Jesse pulled away from you, his head snapping up so fast he almost headbutted you with his chin. His eyes were wide and his mouth was slightly open as he stared at you in disbelief.

You just leaned back into the sofa with a small shrug, looking up at the night sky. "Well, let's see how tomorrow goes first.”