Warnings : Cloneshipping, CrossHunt, kissing, bittersweet - a sort of sad acceptance, smoking
Wordcount: 648
Crosshair was calling out someone else's name in their bed. It wasn’t a soft confessional in the middle of something intimate, Hunter could have accepted that. This was the shredded gasp of someone shouting over a storm with no breath left. Hunter usually woke up in the breath before, his body sensing the tension but reacting too late.
Crosshair yelled, shooting up, chest heaving. He was backlit by the moon so Hunter couldn't see his face but it was always the same reaction. A few rough breaths until he remembered where he was. Then he went still. Not in relief, but in disappointment. Hunter didn't even try to touch him when he left the bed.
This time he followed Crosshair. Honestly it had started to happen enough that it should probably be addressed. Crosshair was outside, leaning against one of the stone pillars, smoking.The backyard was pointed towards the sea, it was on the cusp of dawn but the horizon still had pieces of stars left. The tip of the lit up red as he inhaled before he blew out a breath of smoke up into the sky. It was a habit Hunter wasn't sure when Crosshair had started, but also knew he was trying to break so he didn't fuss about it-much.
Hunter paused next to Crosshair, leaning his forearms against the wall and looked out, they were too far to hear the waves but close enough to feel the seabreeze. He didn't have his bandana but for once it was nice to let his hair do what it wanted. He closed his eyes against the wind.
“Are you going to ask me about him?” Crosshair's voice was calm but tired. Hunter hummed but turned towards him.
“Didn't think you wanted me to.”
It was quiet for a moment. Crosshair took another drag, still looking out towards the sea, his shoulders dropped.
“He was the reason I shot that Imperial and got sent to Tantiss.”
Hunter wanted to ask why him? Why then? But there was a deep seated look of longing on Crosshair's face in the first rays of sunlight. Jealous melted away, it was barely a frost- and Hunter just felt…angry at what they took from Crosshair.
So he asked, “What happened?”
It felt kinder.
Crosshair sighed, licking his lips, “He was guarding Imperial cargo. They didn't have help-the planet was…too harsh. His batch just got picked off-” Crosshair swallowed, brows coming together then falling apart, “...and then, he did too.”
“He reminded me of you.” Crosshair admitted, glancing at him then away, “It feels cruel to say that, like that's all he was and that's all I remember him as.”
Hunter didn't say anything, only thought of the desperate scream that broke out of Crosshair's throat. The name didn't sound empty to him. It sounded like almost too much.
“He saved me, on that mountain…. I tried to get him back to the base-he was injured.” Crosshair grit his teeth, the cigarette was burning down but was ignored, “But they wouldn't even try- they said he'd serviced his purpose and then I understood that's all we were to them, just pieces they could pawn off whenever they wanted.”
Crosshair's voice broke a little then, “But I tried.”
It was said quietly. Desperately. Like he was trying to make Hunter believe him.
Hunter moved then, leaning over to kiss him roughly. Crosshair reached up to dig both his hands into Hunter's loose hair. The cigarette fell between them, the ashes of it hot on Hunter's toes but he pushed forward anyway.
Crosshair tasted of smoke. It wasn't pleasant at all.
But it was real. Grounding.
They were alive.
They were here.
They panted into each other's mouths even after they broke away from the kiss, pushed up against the stone pillar.
Hunter pressed his forehead harder into Crosshair’s, whispering into the damp morning air,
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This was my first time contributing to a zine, and the whole experience was so fun! I am over the moon with the whole thing- I keep looking at it going ‘omg I did that!!’
@sw-cloneship-zines thank you so much for leading this fantastic project!
this scene was insane actually. yeah extended sequence of mayday kneeling down and looking up at cross. we're gonna cut to the full body shot a few times just to rub it in too. what did they mean by this
something something crosshair and echo have always been naturally detached and kept each other at a distance while simultaneously having lots in common about feeling out of place in the world and in their circles.
and never once did they think or consider either of them would get emotionally close enough with each other to then say, i don’t know, be on the look out at a certain post or be stuck in the ship together for a mission, and they’re just. sitting close enough together that their shoulders or elbows brush and bump into each other. and neither of them mention it or apologize but neither of them go out of their way to stop it from happening again, either.
and eventually, crosshair someone lets his guard down enough and falls asleep on accident, and he’s pressed up against echos shoulder, who can’t bare the thought of waking him up or moving him, because really when does crosshair get to genuinely relax, and. you know. he’s not exactly opposed to the situation anyways. and his stomach is in knots, but in a good way, and the butterflies that exist in there are out in swarms about it.
but when crosshair does stir awake, echo pretends to also be asleep so that crosshair doesn’t feel like they need to talk about it, but with every passing glance when they are both awake, it’s difficult to avoid it.
so crosshair finds himself sneaking into echos room back on pabu after the mission, softly knocking on his door and letting himself in, echo having already started settling in bed, and without having to say a word to each other, he simply crawls into bed next to him and they have the best sleep imaginable because they can finally rest with the comfort of having the other that close.
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"Wow this planet is so beautiful in such a sensual, violent way. Just like my brother. Wonder what he's trying to say to me btw." Lamar Giles I have no idea how they let you get away with this but I'm so glad they did.
For the anon who messaged me a few hours ago - discord doesn't want to let me send the invite there but it's been a while since I've posted the link anyway so here it is for anyone who wants it:
Check out the Tipoca City Rejects community on Discord - hang out with 63 other members and enjoy free voice and text chat.
We're an 18+ cloneship-friendly server with a bunch of very cool people. Mostly TBB talk there but we love all the clones and Star Wars in general so there's something for everybody and we welcome it all.
This link is good for a week but as always, if you find this post after it's expired, just shoot me a message and I'll get you a fresh invite :)
