#jemtugger

"Hi, Miss Cass!" Jemima pounced at the tire and landed on all fours next to Cassandra, who was in the middle of enjoying her afternoon stretch.

"Hello starlight, what's on the horizon today?"

Jemima beamed at the pet name. "Nothin' much, what about you?"

"Oh, I'm just taking a little rest here. Care to join?"

If some cosmic force asked Cass to pick a favorite kitten, it would be hard to choose against the tabby-and-white blur of energy currently trying her best to settle down at her side. After pacing back and forth trying to decide which was the best way to lay down, Jemima finally seemed to relax.

Of course, all that was for naught when Tugger sauntered into the junkyard clearing a few moments later.

"Miss Cass, Miss Cass, look! Isn't he so cool?" Cassandra obligingly turned her head towards where Tugger was showing off a new move to Plato — who, she noted, seemed nearly as enthralled as Jemima was. "I wish Tugger would talk to me like that. But he never pays any attention to me at all."

"I'm sure that's not true, dear."

"Is so!"

Cass had to hold back a laugh, looking over at the kitten with as much wisdom as she could muster. "Well, why don't you tell him that you like him, then? It is the season for love, you know." Either that, or she had wildly misinterpreted her human's sharp increase in having people over in the past few days.

"Oh, you really think so?" Jemima's little face scrunched up as she considered her options. "But... he's always going on about how he doesn't like things to be given to him. So maybe I should tell him that I really don't like him, and then that'll work!" She was practically squirming around on the tire now, kneading her paws into the rubber to work out her nervous energy. "Could you call him over here please, Miss Cass? It won't work if I do it."

"Sure, sweet pea." Cass stretched out to her full length and called out across the open junkyard. "Tugger! Jemima has something she wants to tell you."

He looked over, confused, and Cass waved him over with a subtle head nod. "So, what's all this about?"

"Rum Tum Tugger! I want you to know that I actually don't like you at all. Ever. And... I think you shouldn't hang out with me, and you should spend all your time with the boys instead. Ok?" She crossed her arms and puffed out her chest in a perfect harrumph gesture that Cass made sure to commit to memory.

"Uhh..." Tugger looked over at Cass for some kind of explanation, but she just raised an eyebrow at him and offered a knowing smirk. "... okay. No need to make such a big deal out of it. Guess I'll go now."

Jemima, to her credit, held up the pose for a few good seconds as he strolled off, before absolutely flopping back against the tire in despair. "Oh no, that didn't work at all! Now he probably thinks I hate him. Why did I do that?"

"Just remember, this is Tugger we're talking about, dewdrop," Cass said, ruffling the fur between Jemima's ears. "He always does the opposite of what one expects."

"Aww, now I'll never get to hang out with him ever!" She flailed around on the tire some more, completely in the throes of her anguish.

"Don't say that." She gave Jemima a boop on the nose with her tail, and that seemed to break the kitten out of her spell. "I'm sure he'll come back around to you sometime soon. Just you wait."

Responsible Adults: shit.

Bomba: Oh!

Tugger: hey boy

Pouncival: omfgtugger!!!

Rumpleteazer: omfgtugger!!!

Mungojerrie: I can’t be in this number I still owe him a bag of catnip

Jemima: George wishes he could :D this hard

Tugger: You are fucking adorable.

Asparagus: I say!

Tugger: Check out this sexy kick!

Munkustrap: How am I related to you?

Misto: Fuck!

Skimble: So rude!

Tugger: Blame Plato.

Misto: You’re gonna die tonight!

Jemima: dat ass!

Tantomile: damn...

Etcetera: Tugger i luv u

Plato: We should have a threesome!

Tugger: Ready?

Plato: Fuck yeah!

Etcetera: *keysmash*

Misto: I’m plotting my revenge

Skimble: Have some pets

Etcetera: *keysmash*

Plato: I know right?

Skimble: This is obscene!

Munkustrap: Are you guys okay?

Tugger: Whatever’s in my hand probably isn’t edible.

Etcetera: Neither is your ass but I’d eat it

Asparagus: wtf?

Etcetera: Mmm! Tugger-flavored!

Tugger: lol

Plato: Lucky...and you’ve got a good ass too

Asparagus: Misto what are you doing?

Misto: My time has come

Munk and Misto: Point!

Skimble: There oughta be a law!

Tantomile: I’m so sneaky!

Cassandra: me too lol

Skimble: Dad conference! Pls stop him

Munkustrap: I hate this shit, but he’s not hurting anyone

Misto: brb

Skimble: nooooooo!

Electra: Why’s Cettie over with the boys?

Etcetera: I like playing with boys!

Skimble: This madness must be stopped before Misto’s innocence is corrupted!

Munkustrap: Are you talking about his virginity? He’s had seven kittens!

Misto: Bitch please

Tugger: Jemima, you have competition

Misto: You boring lol *maximum eyeroll*

Tugger: That’s hot

Misto: I’ll have to use my special technique! *full-body eyeroll*

Tugger: You are way too cute to upset me

Plato: that happened.

Etcetera: whatev

Jemima: dat ass!

Tantomile: I know, right?

Tugger: I’ve just been reminded that I haven’t been playing with the boys nearly enough

Pouncival: Please play gently!

Plato: whoa!

Etcetera: wee!

Tumblebrutus: Dude, there’s a butt on your butt

Pouncival: My ass is worthy of Tugger...

Tugger: Someone’s gonna fuck you tonight, but it’s not gonna be me.

Pouncival: Damn it!

Tumble: He’s only one cat on your wish list.

Asparagus: My son is injured!

Munkustrap: I can assure you that he is not.

Tugger: Someone had better be looking at my dick!

Plato: Once we’re done looking at your ass!

Misto: don’tlookathisbuttdon’tlookathisbutt...

Plato: My body is ready!

Tantomile: I can’t see Tugger’s ass from here, so I’ll check out Cassandra’s instead.

Pouncival/Tumble: Check out our cool moves!

Skimble: Don’t go down there.

George: How else am I supposed to get laid?

Etcetera: Plato’s got a boyfriend!

Tantomile: Lucky bastard

Cassandra: My boyfriend’s probably having a stroke from jealousy right about now.

Jemima: I want!

Plato: I have.

Tugger: I don’t even

Misto: I am neither bored nor horny I swear

Jenny: Why hasn’t Munk stopped him?

Jelly: idk let’s just wait it out

Bomba: The party don’t start til I walk in

Plato: Oh sweet it’s that foot thing that Cettie got!

Tumble: Babe alert!

Bomba: comin through

Pouncival: Bomba/Tugger/Me ot3!

George: I’m going in

Skimble: Not you too!

Misto: Hey I didn’t actually join!

Bomba: y’all are amateurs that man is mine

Tugger: Alright babe, go play with your friends

Jemima: <3

George: I want in on this!

Skimble: RIP George’s Virtue

Teazer: omfgbomba!

Tumble: Time to do the thing!

Pouncival: This is gonna be so cool!

George: Do I even know this thing?

(Meanwhile, Plato is thinking with his dick and it cannot be put into words)

George: I did it!

Pouncival: Notice us, Tugger!

Tumble: Yo!

Tumble: Did you guys see that?

George: resist urge to :D

Pouncival: Am I the only one taking this seriously?

Plato: Seriously, all I’m aware of is 8=D

Tugger: I’m ignoring all of them lol

George: fuck it. :D

Pouncival: Tugger look...

Tumble: Why am I less funny than my friends?

Plato: You’re Misto’s stunt double lol

Bomba: Bitch I’m flawless

Teazer: lemme talk to girls dad

Skimble: Don’t even think about it

Tumble: wait r u lifting me?

Plato: gotta practice

Pouncival: practice sexy dancing!

Plato: This is the Kiss My Paw move