The Rum Tum Tugger is awful annoying

follow for some more sick text posts that I reblogged from someone else

mccoy doesn't have a chair on the bridge cuz he's the kinda guy who stands behind the couch to watch a whole 45 minute episode of something while insisting he doesn't need to sit down bc he's just checking out one scene. does this make sense

baseball fights are better than hockey fights because everyone expects a fight in hockey. baseball fights are some real hater shit

I wish AI would stop making so many animal story posts. I LOVE animals and they are ruining the loving-animals ecosystem. And also the real ecosystem

The truffle hunting cat is AI, I’m so sorry guys

My toxic trait is that if I find a product I like I want to keep using the same product forever. It's not even brand loyalty. It's called stop changing and discontinuing everything.

Old Deutronomy

everyone eat more vegetables NOW!!! and mention the last vegetable you ate in the tags so we're all on the buddy system. I'll start: bok choy

it's called a ball python because it is a python(🐍) that ball(🟠)

for real tho it feels exhausting that ive seen this whole "woman should be allowed to abstain from X beauty standard" -> "i perform X beauty standard, am i evil? do you think im evil? please forgive me i came up with a dozen excuses 🥺" since like 2015 (and i know its been going on longer than that) like girl thats not the poiiiiint

look me in the eyes. repeat after me. "i face societal pressure to perform this beauty standard. i should not face that pressure. i conform to this standard. i am rewarded for performing to this standard. i need to respect women who do not perform this standard. this is not about whether or not i am a sinner for wearing makeup."

apple blossomed trees / roots with the birds

the whole club was looking at worms