#jaxmas

I let out a long dramatic sigh dropping my phone onto a pile of grease stained receipts. It's the first of December which means twelve days until Mom and Dad's annual Christmas party. 12 days until I have to squeeze myself into a dress I don't want to fucking wear and force my usual resting bitch face into a forced smile over champagne and caviar.

Twelve days to either come up with the best excuse in the world to not go, or to find someone stupid enough to let me drag them along. I may have told my Mom I was finally dating someone new, just to get her to shut the fuck up about my ex Miles. She won't stop banging on about how perfect he is and how he still asks about me.

No fucking way. Not happening.

To them and their whole shiny little circle, he's the golden boy, hiding behind that fake charm and Daddy's trust fund, but I know the real him. The asshole underneath the tailored suits and polite smiles. But it’s not just him, it’s everyone in that life. I can’t fucking stand it.

I never fucking fit in with them, from the day I was born I was always different, and I think Mom and Dad knew it, which is why they pressured and tried so hard to mould me into something like them and the company they keep. Which obviously, hasn’t worked which resulted in me moving here, two hours away to Charming, into the cosiest little apartment, and actually bagged myself a job as the receptionist at a garage. I don't need this job, I don’t need any job. But fuck, I love it.

The bell above the door chimes as a gust of cold air slips in, carrying the sound of Juice talking way too loud for this early in the morning.

"Yo, y/n? Clay needs those forms from yesterday, can you print em for me?"

I look up as Juice barrels in from the cold. Jax is right behind him, kutte open over a hoodie and hands stuffed in his pockets. He gives me a easy smile as he walks in. I try to smile back, but it just feels weak, I'm still too pissed about my earlier conversation with Mom.

"I did print them Juice. Yesterday" I mutter, looking through the files on the computer.

"Uh yeah, you did. But I lost em." He scratches at his mohawk with his usual sheepish grin. "So can you please do it again?"

"Whatever" I sigh, hitting print.

"What's wrong princess?" he grins, leaning over the counter "You look like you wanna fight someone. Is it me?...It's me right?"

"If you call me princess one more time, it might just be you" I say, giving him the fakest smile I can manage as I shove the printed forms into his hands.

He clutches them to his chest like they're precious, gives a little salute then backs out of the office. The door swings shut behind him. When I look over to Jax, he's made himself comfy in the worn leather chair in front of the desk. His long legs stretched out and his eyes fixed on me.

"You good?" he asks, eyes narrowing as he studies my reaction.

"Yup" I say way too quickly, rubbing a hand over my face before I look up at him again. I can already tell he's not buying it. "No" I correct myself with a laugh, "Family shit"

"The kinda family shit you moved away from?" he asks, resting his elbows on his knees as he leans forward.

"Exactly that" I say, forcing a smile like that might somehow make it better.

"Who do I gotta get rid of for you?" he jokes, trying to lighten the mood as he steps closer to the desk.

"Miles" I hum under my breath, not really thinking he'll hear.

"Miles?" he repeats, the name coming off his tongue like it taste bad.

"My ex" I clarify, hating having to call him that.

"He causin' you trouble?" There's a subtle shift in his tone that I clock straight away.

"He is trouble" I roll my eyes, stacking receipts onto the spike in front me. "My parents host this annual Christmas thing, I have to go and there's no getting out of it" I tap my phone screen for no reason at all. "He'll be there. Everyone will be there"

"If he's your ex...why's he gonna be there?" Jax's brows pull together, genuinely seeming confused.

"Known him since we were babies, he's my Dad's Godson, his business partner's kid. We were practically raised knowing we'd end up together" I huff a laugh, thinking about the night I broke up with him and told my parents I was leaving. "Only I'm not about that life, I won't be made to be with anyone. Caused a few arguments but, they’ll get over it…eventually"

"Jesus Christ" he shakes his head "Were you raised in a cult or somethin'?" Jax asks.

We're not that close, me and Jax, no closer than what I am with any of the other guys and it's not on a deep level, more of an 'I see you every day so we're forced to speak' kinda vibe. This is the most personal I've ever gotten with him.

"No" I hold back a laugh "Just a bunch of rich assholes who do everything for everyone else and expect you to play along"

"So, go" he says quickly, "Show em how fuckin' good you're doin' here. Show that asshole you don’t need him'" He reaches over the counter, punching my arm lightly with that classic Teller smirk.

I laugh but it comes out strained “If it was just showing up to look good, I could do that” I give a small sarcastic wink

“Well what else is there?”

I stare down at the mess in front of me “I uh…might have told my Mom I was seeing someone” I admit, “couple months back, she wouldn’t stop going on about Miles and how he keeps asking for me and it just…slipped out to shut her up”

Jax is quite for a second then huffs a laugh,

“I know it’s so fucking sad” I shake my head “but now she wants to meet him. Says the parties the perfect chance. Wants to see the man who’s stolen their girl away” I take another breath “so if I show up alone, I look pathetic and if I don’t show up at all, they’ll hunt me down”

“So you need someone to go with you?” He says slowly, like he’s tryna mentally line it all up. “Someone to play the part”

“That’s exactly what I need” I says laughing but wanting to sink under the desk and never return “a fake boyfriend”

A spark of mischief flickers in his eyes “well” he says, tilting his head “good thing you know a guy”

I groan the words “please don’t say Juice”

“Juice?” He laughs, shaking his head “No darlin’…me.”

“You know you don’t have to do this” I say quietly “you can just dress how you usually would, kutte and all. I don’t care how you look Jax”

He glances down at me then to the rows of suits “I know” he says “but if I’m gonna walk into your rich ass world as your man. I’m gonna do it right” his mouth twitches in the corners “And I gotta give golden boy a run for his money”

The salesman appears with a sleek black suit and steers Jax towards a fitting room. A few moments later he steps out and my brain freezes. He looks fucking beautiful. Not that he doesn’t anyway, I mean yeah he does but Jax in this suit? Fuck. I can’t wait to show him off.

“Atleast lie and tell me I don’t look stupid” he mutters, adjusting the cuffs

“Jax you don’t look stupid” I say slowly “You look…amazing” I fight the urge to say the words sexy as fuck.

He scoffs but I see the ghost of a smile as the salesman starts pinning the loose fabric. When we end up at the counter, the total flashes up and Jax actually chokes.

“Jesus Christ, for one suit?”

I’m already sliding my card out. “I’ll get this”

His hands snap around my wrist solid and warm “Hey. I said I’d do this, I can pay for my own shit”

“No I know…” the words are soft. “But this is my mess. My lie. Let me pay for it” I remove my wrist from his grip “plus…when are you ever gonna wear this suit again?”

He watches me for a second then his mouth curves into that little shit eating grin “Maybe at our fake wedding” he jokes but the look he gives me lasts just a fraction too long.

My phone buzzes on my dresser just as I’m sliding my gold hoops in.

Jax: Outside

I take in a deep breath, smoothing my hands down the front of the dress. It’s black, with long mesh sleeves that cling to my arms. The fabric hugs my waist and there’s a slit up the side flashing my thigh every time I move. I told myself I’d try to make it elegant and classy, but really I just wanted something everyone attending would choke on.

I grab my clutch, coat and the very expensive bottle of champagne that my Father insists is his favourite, before making my way outside. I don’t know what the fuck I was expecting, Jax told me he’d handle a ride but this? I’m in fucking shock.

A deep red vintage convertible is parked out front, Jax is leaning against the drivers side door, suit jacket open over a crisp white shirt his head bent over his phone. The tops down despite the December chill.

When he looks up and sees me it’s like he freezes. His eyes sweep over me slowly, the outline of my waist, the slit of my dress were it parts high across my thigh. And when his eyes land back on my face he looks genuinely stunned.

“Shit” he drawls under his breath, “Look at you”

Heat crawls up my neck, “you clean up alright yourself” I manage.

The suit fits him perfectly now after the alterations. His hair is swooped back into a cleaner low bun, he still looks dangerous just more sophisticated, if that’s the right word.

He straightens pushing off the car “You ready darlin’?” he rounds the side of the hood to meet me.

"This yours?" I ask, unable to hide how impressed I am by the car.

"Nah" he laughs, stepping closer "Borrowed it off a guy who owes the club a favour, Figured showin' up in a rusty pickup might just blow your cover"

I laugh, shaking my head "This is...wow".

"I'll put the hood up in a minute, I know it's cold. Just did that for the effect" he grins.

"Well...it worked" I laugh again, suddenly realising how much this man makes me laugh.

He takes the champagne bottle out of my hand "Damn" he mutters, placing it in the back seat before motioning for me to get in. "Hey" I say, stopping his movement "I just...I got you something"

His brows crease as he watches me fumble into my clutch and pull out a little black box. I flip it open, take out the pin and hold it out for him to see.

"y/n, this is..." he shakes his head, eyes widening as he takes in the 'SAMCRO' engraved on the gold.

"You've stripped a lot of yourself off for me Jax, I just thought you might want a little piece of home" I say, taking a step into his personal bubble.

His eyes don't leave my face as I slide the pin through the fabric, my fingers grazing against the solid warmth of his chest beneath the suit. When it's finally secure, I smooth his jacket out on instinct, pulling my hand back quick before it lingers too long. He looks down at the pin, then back up to me with something different shining in his eyes.

"Thank you" he says, "That's...real thoughtful of you" His smile isnt the usual cocky one, its much warmer.

"Don't go soft on me now Teller" I say lightly, trying to break the moment.

He huffs a laugh "Nah, its good actually...cause I, uh...got you somethin' too"

"You did?"

He reaches into the inside of his jacket pocket pulling out a small jewellery box, just as I did with a look that's way to close to nervous for him.

"Before you say anything" he adds quickly, "It's not real"

I open the box, and a breath leaves my mouth. A tiny delicate chain with the daintiest charm of the letter J sits snug inside. My throat tightens as I look back up to him.

"Jax, this is...beautiful" I run my fingers over the fake diamonds "Put it on for me?"

He coughs, clearing his throat "Yeah sure". He takes the necklace from me and I turn, giving him room as his fingers brush warmly against the cool air on my bare neck.

"Hold still" he mumbles, "this shit is tiny as hell"

I laugh, feeling his fingers linger for a second longer than they need to, goosebumps rise in a neat line down my spine as I turn back to face him.

"A fake necklace for a fake girlfriend" I joke, smiling through the tension.

"Yeah" he says, a slow grin spreading across his face as I slide into the passenger seat. "Somethin' like that"

"So this ex of yours..." Jax glances over at me, one hand still tight on the wheel "Why'd you leave him?"

I roll the little J charm between my fingers and scoff a laugh "You want the short answer or the real one?"

He checks the navigation, "We got, uhhhh what like an hour and twenty left darlin', hit me"

So I tell him.

How we grew up knowing at one point it'd be expected that we give it a try. Our families tangled up so tight it felt like we had to. How I spent most of my teenage years doing everything to dodge it. Running away, sleeping with men I was way too young to be sleeping with, just being an absolute rebel just to prove to them I wasn't the rich bitch princess they thought they'd created.

"At the time, he was fine I guess..." I say, staring out the window. "We got along, he was safe and familiar you know, I just couldn't stand my parents thinking they could orchestrate my whole life. It got to a point where I kinda gave up you know? gave it a shot" I shrug at the thought "We were okay for a while, but I couldn’t pretend anymore"

I tell Jax about the little things about Miles that were starting to grate on me. How he talked down to people he thought were 'lower' than him, The way he'd smirk after getting away with something he definitely shouldn't have been doing, just cause he could drop his fathers name and shit would be cleared.

"Wasn't just him though, that life in general its just not..."

"You?" He adds, looking over at me.

"Yeah, it's not me, never has been" my voice begins to tighten "Knew I wanted to leave, so I told him it was over" I laugh shaking my head “first thing he did? called my dad and snitched like a little bitch. Told him I was being over emotional and throwing everything good in my life away"

"No offense, but with the way you fit in so well at the garage and most of us in the club, you can't tell you came from somewhere… like that" Jax says "You know, somewhere the people would usually look down on us Charming folk"

"I'll take that as a compliment" I say, giving him a smile that tips into something a little more flirtatious.

He huffs, clearly amused, "How do you think Mommy and Daddy would have reacted if I'd shown up here with you, wearin’ my kutte and on my bike?"

"Honestly?" I begin "They wouldn't have said anything to your face. There'd be hushed whispers and tight smiles but they'd wait till you were gone to be an asshole"

He barks out a laugh shaking his head, "And Miles? How's he gonna react to you walkin' in with a new, handsome young man" The grin he gives is pure evil.

"Oh, he'll be pissed" I laugh, biting my lip at the thought of him stewing all night. "Told me I'd never get better than him" I roll my eyes so hard it almost hurts. “Hopefully seeing you will stop him from begging my parents to encourage me into giving him a second chance”

"Wow" Jax says, "What an asshole"

"Exactly"

After that, its like he realises I've overshared a little too much, so he evens the scales by dropping little stories in between the Christmas songs playing on the radio.

He tells me about being nineteen and in love for the first time, how she packed up her shit and left for Chicago without so much as a goodbye. Doesn't say it out right but I can tell by the way his jaw ticks and his eyes stay fixed on the road ahead, that she probably broke his heart by doing that.

Finally, we pull into my old neighbourhood. Every house decorated like they're competing against each other. The sat nav chimes just as he turns down the little side road that leads to the familiar gates.

"Holllllllly shitttttttt" he breaths, the words coming out dragged "This is where you grew up?"

"Unfortunatley, yes" I exhale, already feeling homesick.

"Where should I park?" he asks.

"If you just pull up outside, someone will-"

"No fucking way" he says, looking over at me as he rolls to a stop in front of the house.

He gets out first, taking in the massive pillars at the front, and the army of staff by the door. I watch through the window as James, the elderly but youthful man stands there in his same neat black coat and cap that I remember from before I could even string a a proper sentence together.

Jax steps forward to greet him. He says something, then leans forward to shake his hand. He opens the passenger door and I take his hand in mine letting him help me out as my heels hit the driveway.

"y/n, its wonderful to see you again" James says, leaning in to kiss my cheek like I never left. His eyes then move to Jax and I can see the amusement in his face.

"And this fine gentleman you've brought with you" he gives me a knowing smile. He knows I don't want to be here. He's seen enough of my tantrums and runaway attempts.

"Jax, the champagne?" I murmur.

He dips his head and grabs it from the back before James slides into the drivers seat, giving us one more smile before driving the car off to its designated rich people spot.

For a moment, its just us at the bottom of the steps, the sound of music and voices muffled behind the door. I look at him and he looks at me.

"You ready?" he asks.

"No" I admit, and somehow it feels good saying that out loud. I force a smile anyway and offer my hand out to him like we're about to walk intro prom together.

But he doesn't take it. Instead, he steps in close and slides his hand to the small of my back pulling me firmly against his side, tucking me in like I belong.

"Show me the way darlin'"

"Sweetheart!" Mom appears in a cloud of perfume and pearls. Her eyes landing on me straight away. They trail over my hair and makeup then down to the slit in my dress that shows my thigh as the fabric continues to hug every curve. Her smile tightens just a little.

"That's...quite a dress huh?" she says, the spite peeking out just a little.

"Thanks Mom" I say like I don't know she's being funny about it.

Her gaze then shifts to Jax and she shakes the bitch away. "And you must be..."

"This is J-"

"Jackson" he cuts me off smoothly stepping forward and taking her hand to place a kiss "Lovely to meet you Ma'am"

I almost laugh at the language coming out of his mouth but I notice the way Mom's whole face softens. "Jackson" she repeats, clearly approving "It's so lovely to finally meet you, we've heard so...little about you" she gives me her deadly side eye, then Dad appears behind her, Tie already loose and the drunken glaze over his eyes.

"y/n darling" his eyes flick over my dress before pulling me into a hug. When he lets go he takes in Jax from head to toe, he's got that hard expression on, not necessarily anger but probably the realisation that me and Miles are actually finished.

"So this must be him..." Dad says, eyes darting between myself and Jax "The replacement" He laughs like it's a joke.

"Dad!" I snap his name, leaning into Jax, a silent apology pressed into his side.

Jax just chuckles, completely unfazed, "The upgrade" he corrects Dad, tilting his head with a cocked brow.

And Dad? he actually laughs at that, nodding in approval "I like him" He claps Jax on the shoulder, "Come on Jackson, let me show you around"

"Oh, sir...this is for you" Jax holds the bottle of champagne out, making sure the label is facing Dad "Can’t take all the credit…y/n told me it was your favourite so..."

Dad's brows lift, clearly impressed with his gift before he lets out another genuine laugh "Oh, I really like you Jackson"

Both now laughing, they're about to turn away when Dad pauses, and looks back at me "Oh honey, you left your bags outside? I can have Thomas bring them up"

"Bags?"

"Well, you will be staying the night, wont you?" he says, like its the obvious answer.

"Uh..." the idea of staying here didn't even cross my mind. "No, we're gonna be driving ba-"

"Ridiculous" Mom huffs, "You'll both stay the night. There's plenty of spare clothing here for Jackson to change into if need be, and all of your...clothes, if we can call them that..." her eyes slide down my dress again "...are exactly where you left them"

I look helplessly at Jax, and before I can even scramble for an excuse, he steps in like its second nature "That will be perfect...thank you" he says easily, "Guess I can have a drink or two now" He leans in, placing the softest, fakest kiss against my cheek. His hand lowering to squeeze my arm in a sign of reassurance before he lets Dad lead him away.

Once they've disappeared, Mom turns to me, her posture and expression tight again.

"Miles will be here soon," she smooths at a wrinkle in my sleeve that isn't actually there, "I expect you to be polite. No scenes or sulking, please?"

I bite back the first three responses that come to mind and just nod instead.

"Good" she says, her smile snapping back into place, "Now, come and say hello to everyone, they've missed you!"

The cold stings my face as we step outside, even with the insane amount of patio heaters glowing orange. Jax is positioned in front of me, leaning against a low brick wall, a smoke dangling between his fingers. I step in close when he offers it to me, our fingers brushing as I take it.

Without another word, he shrugs out of his suit jacket and settles it over my shoulders, then takes the cigarette back out of my hand. His jacket is warm and smells just like him. Not his usual cologne though, something richer and sharper but somehow still him.

"You didn't have to agree to stay" I exhale into the night, "I coulda got us out of it"

"Relax y/n" he hums, putting out his smoke in the built in wall ashtray "I've crashed in a lotta places darlin' a mansion though? never" he laughs.

"What was my Daddy dearest saying?"

"Talkin' about cars mostly, old classics, shit he used to drive when he was younger. Even offered me a tour of the garage tomorrow"

That actually surprises me, Dad clearly likes him. Before I can answer, I notice Jax tense, his gaze shifting over my shoulder and his jaw beginning to clench.

"What?” I ask.

"Nothin'...just..." he rolls his lips together, cocking his head to the side "I think your ex just strolled in"

I turn around reluctantly and see him standing there with the biggest, prickish smile on his face, teeth white enough to blind everyone attending tonight. That smile though, oh it drops the second he clocks me standing there with my something better he swore I'd never find.

"Yup, that's him" I laugh in disgust, facing my way back to Jax.

"The fuck were you thinkin'?"

I cringe at the thought "Honestly? I don't fucking know"

"Well, he's comin' over so-"

"What?" I hiss, I didn't think he'd have the fucking nerve.

"Yep. Three...two...one..."

"y/n?" His voice drills straight into my spine.

"Miles" I greet him, dodging his attempt at a hug and shifting so I'm standing shoulder to shoulder with Jax instead.

"Didn't think you'd show" he says, taking a sip from his champagne glass with his pinky raised.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world" I say the line faker than the boyfriend standing next to me.

"Are you going to introduce me to your...friend?" he asks, his attention suddenly with Jax. He says the word ‘friend’ like he’s hoping that’s the connection between us.

"Jackson" Jax introduces himself, straightening to his full height.

"I assume you know who I am" Miles says all smug.

"No" he shakes his head, pressing his lips into a thin line, "Should I?" his usual cockiness shining bright as ever.

I bite the inside of my lip to stop myself laughing. Miles shakes his bottom jaw and I can see the anger rising slowly. Just to put the cherry on top I slide in closer to Jax, like it's the most natural thing in the world slipping my arm around his waist.

"This is Jackson... my boyfriend"

Jax's hand travels down, his thumb stroking possessively against my hip, I see Miles’s eyes flick from my face to where Jax's hand is, back up to the necklace decorating my collar bone, then to my face again and I see the hit his ego takes within seconds.

"Well... enjoy it while it lasts" he says lifting his chin like he's the superior one.

Mom corners us the second we step back inside, fingers curling around my wrist. "Come on, I haven't had a chance to talk to you as a couple yet" She coos, pulling us towards her pristine white couch in the second living room.

Her eyes are a little slanted, the wine now taking over. Jax's thigh presses warm against mine as the lies start slipping off our tongues like magic.

We take turns telling Mom how we met, how long we've been together and all the boring relationship questions that we, as y/n and Jax have never actually lived, not until tonight anyway.

"I can see why you like him" Mom beams at me a little too loudly, "But I want to hear it from you Jackson, what exactly is it about my daughter that sucked you in?" She pats his forearm leaning in closer than necessary.

Jax laughs under his breath, his eyes finding mine instantly, he gives me a look, that if I had to put into words screams 'Fuck it'

"She's stubborn" he starts, lips parting "Doesn't let anyone push her around"

Mom nods lazily, clearly agreeing.

"But underneath that, she's soft" he goes on, still looking straight at me "Cares too much. Even when she pretends she doesn't. Too busy puttin’ others needs in front of her own"

That parts a little too accurate, my fingers spread over my thighs nervously. I didn't think he ever paid that much attention to me.

"And she does this thing..." he goes to speak but stops himself.

"Please, do go on Jackson" Mom eggs him on.

He inhales deeply, "She does this thing when she's concentratin' with her face. I don't think she even knows she does it but its just so fuc-" he cuts himself off, coughing the curse away "So beautiful I just...couldn't help but fall for her"

He says it so genuine, something that feels dangerously close to the truth.

"Oh!" Mom squeals, clapping a hand to her chest, "I just love love" she says before practically launching herself off the couch to grab a passing canape tray.

Just as I'm about to speak, Aunt Jane pokes her head in from the doorway.

"Coming to dance?" she asks, head gesturing towards the small ballroom at the back of the house.

Jax stands up, smoothing his hands along his pants before holding one out to me. "Come on" hey says, with that stupidly soft smile tugging at his mouth "It'd be rude not to"

And of course its the smile that gets me, that and the way the words ‘I just couldn’t help but fall for her’ is still echoing in my ears like he actually meant it. My fingers slide into his before I can over think it, his hand is warm and big around mine, his thumb brushing over my knuckles in a way that feels...natural.

"I can't wait to tell the rest of the club you're like a professional at slow dancing" I tease, my hands looped high around Jax's neck as he guides us in a easy circle. His hands hug my waist, thumb tracing little patterns against the fabric of my dress.

"I can't wait to tell Aunt Jane I've seen you twerk in a skirt shorter than your grandpas handkerchief" he fires back without even thinking.

"Jax!" I laugh, dropping my head against his chest, heat rushing to my face and other places. "It wasn't that short"

"It was for a shitty work do at the clubhouse" he chuckles "That's the moment I knew"

I tilt my head up, looking at him through my lashes "Knew what Jax?"

"Knew that I-"

A small voice pipes up besides us. "You know it's bad luck if you don't do it"

We both look down to see my little cousin Amber, spinning in her sparkly christmas dress.

I let go of Jax and bend down a little "Don’t do what honey?"

She just points straight up.

I follow her finger. Mistletoe. A big, chunky bunch of it hanging right above our heads.

Amber runs off giggling and by the time I look back around, it feels like the whole room has clocked it. Mom, Dad, half my relatives and Miles.

Jax's tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip as he glances up at the mistletoe, then back down to me. His hands finding my waist again, drawing me closer as he gently places my arms back around his neck.

"How far you willin' to fake this?" he murmurs, not paying a lick of attention to anyone else in the room but me.

"Jax" I whisper, my breath catching.

He doesn't give me anytime to think. One hand slides up to cradle the back of my neck and then his mouth is on mine. Like he's letting the entire room see exactly how taken I am. Our lips move against each other with a warmth that has nothing to do with the mistletoe or our performance tonight. His fingers curl into my hair and I melt into him without even trying.

I feel all eyes on us, hear Moms soft gasp followed my the smallest of giggles. Then I hear Dad awkwardly clearing his throat which tells everyone else to stop staring. And when the kiss finishes, I see Miles storm out, not so superior anymore.

And when I look in Jax's eyes, I swear, not a single part of this feels fake anymore.

dividers by the lovely @/mikeycuns @/andromeda-graphics @/cafekitsune twelve days of jaxmas masterlist | jax teller masterlist

xoxo secretlysamcro

Jax’s big, sweaty body was on top of you, covering yours entirely - like he was your own personal shield. He held himself up on his forearms, his muscles working overtime to ensure he didn’t completely crush you with his weight.

He was panting, his harsh breathing muffled against the skin of your collarbone as he peppered kisses along your shoulder. His beard was pricking at your skin as his hips rocked against yours, your joined sounds lost to the room. 

The bed creaked under your weight, the headboard tapping gently against the wall with every thrust of his cock. You were gripping him so tight, Jax had to really put in extra effort to be able to slide in and out of your addictive core, but he didn’t mind one single bit.

He grunted against your skin, burying his face against your shoulder as he fucked you a little harder, but still just as deep, and still just as tender. You and Jax usually fuck hard and fast, but tonight you were fucking slowly. Tonight, he was making love to you, and while he didn’t take you like this often, it was one of his favorite ways to have you. Sweet and slow. 

It allowed him to feel every inch of your core, every ripple, every ridge, every part of you that grips him so tightly and so perfectly. You felt perfect around him, so warm and tight and perfect. 

Maybe it was because you and he finally had a minute alone, but this felt even better than it normally does. Things had been so busy with the club lately, and the boys had been extra wild for the past few weeks since it was so close to Christmas, neither you or Jax ever got a moment alone that was just you and him. 

You were running around all day, doing last minute Christmas shopping and helping Abel with his arts and crafts he was doing for school, and Jax was dealing with his new partnership with Nero and his girls, which was running pretty smoothly to be fair, but it was only a matter of time before something happened that would inevitably fuck it up, so he was preparing for that possible outcome as best as he could.

The two of you barely had enough time to shower and sleep before you had to do it all again the next day, and to say you both were eager for a break would be quite the understatement. 

It was Christmas Eve, and Jax had made a promise to the boys that if they went to bed early and didn’t stay up, they all could wake up early tomorrow morning so they could open presents and go over to Gemma’s place for breakfast. 

Thomas and Abel were all too eager to agree, and they went to sleep at around seven thirty. That meant you and Jax had the rest of the night to yourselves, and you were both on each other before he was able to close the bedroom door. You were both undressed before you hit the bed, and you and he hadn’t stopped touching each other for the last half an hour. 

“Feels so good, baby,” he groaned, sliding one hand down your body, his elbow hooking under your knee and bringing it up to your chest. It opened you up even more, allowing him to take you like you deserved, and for him to reach the deepest part of you. 

Your body jolted with every thrust, your breasts bouncing softly, and he dipped his head down to press kisses along your chest before he took one of your nipples into his mouth. 

You moaned, your eyes fluttering shut as your arms wrapped around his shoulders, your fingers sliding into his hair. You pulled his mouth away from your breast, leaning up to kiss him deeply as his hips rolled deliciously against yours. “Tell me you love me. Tell me how much,” you whispered against his lips, “I wanna hear you say it.” 

Jax looked down at you with dark, hooded eyes, his lips kiss-swollen like yours were. “I love you,” he muttered, his voice rough with lust as he hitched your leg higher, driving himself even deeper. “I fuckin’ love you more than anythin’. I’d do anythin’ for you, baby. Kill for you, die for you, do whatever you want me to.”

You moaned a little louder, your pussy clamping down tighter around his cock as you pulled on his hair, his take on professing his love never failing to rile you up. “Fuck, Jax. I love you so much,” you whimpered, “I’ll never get enough of you, baby.”

Jax grunted, his hips hitting yours a little harder as he dipped his head down and kissed you deeply. “You’re mine, darlin’. All fuckin’ mine,” he rasped, his hand sliding to your hip, and he gripped it tightly. “Gonna make you cum on my dick, baby. Wanna feel you all over me. Wanna feel this pretty pussy squeeze the cum right outta me.”

Your head fell back on the pillow as a soft squeal left your lips, always a sucker for dirty talk, and luckily for you, Jax was full of dirty talk. “You always do,” you moaned, wrapping your other leg around his waist. Your heel dug into his lower back, trying to pull him impossibly closer. “Just like that, Jax. You feel so good.”

Jax groaned, reaching for one of your hands, and he laced his fingers with yours, pinning your hand next to your head on the pillow. “That’s it, baby. Take it just like that,” he murmured, leaning his head down and pressing open mouthed kisses along your neck. 

Your other hand wrapped around the back of his neck, your fingers tangling in his hair and pulling him closer. “Don’t stop, baby,” you whispered against his mouth. “Please.”

He turned his head and pressed his lips to yours, his tongue sliding against your own as he rutted into you, the soft creaking of the bed the only sound that was heard as he muffed your moans with his mouth. “‘M not stoppin’, darlin’,” he promised, picking up the pace of his thrusts just slightly. “You’re so tight, baby. Never wanna pull out of this sweet pussy.”

You laughed under your breath, locking your leg tighter around his waist. “Mm, so don’t ever pull out,” you murmured, “Stay just like this, with me, inside me.” 

Jax huffed out his own laugh, his forehead dropping against yours. “Would if I could, baby. Missed you so fuckin’ much. I missed this,” he grunted, bottoming out deep inside you and stilling for a few brutal seconds before pulling back, then doing it again. “So goddamn perfect. I wanna feel you cum for me. Cum all over my cock like a good girl.”

Your core clenched tightly around him, trying to suck him in deeper as your nails gently scratched along his scalp. You tugged harder at his hair, your eyes squeezing shut as your body tensed up under his, his sweaty skin sticking to yours. “Fuck,” you gasped, arching your back off the bed. Your lips parted in a silent moan, your body shaking against his as you came, and Jax grunted as he felt your warmth flood around his cock. 

He buried his face in your neck, letting out deep groans as he worked you through your high, your warm and tight body sending him into his own. His hips stuttered, his thrusts becoming uneven as he came inside you, filling you up. He squeezed your hand so tightly, he was scared he was accidentally hurting you, but you just moaned softly, letting him continue to weakly thrust inside you until his body fell down onto yours. 

“Goddamn, baby,” he panted, pressing his face against the side of your neck. He remained inside you for a little while after, proving his prior words right since he just didn’t want to pull out of you. When he eventually did, he winced, and rolled onto his back. He pulled you into his arms, tucking you against his chest as you tangled your legs with his. “I love you.” he whispered, his voice still sounding a little breathless. 

You hummed, melting against his warm, slick body as your own chest rose and fell unevenly. “I love you,” you said back, hiking one of your thighs over both of his. “So much… never gonna stop.”

Jax’s lips curved upwards, one of his big hands sliding down your back until it reached your ass, and he groped it roughly. “You better not,” he muttered, turning his head and pressing a firm kiss to your temple. “‘Cause I ain’t lettin’ you go, baby.”

You let out a dramatic gasp, your eyes meeting his when you lifted your head from his chest. “Oh, how horrible,” you teased, pressing another kiss to his mouth. 

“Smart ass,” he mumbled, kissing you one last time before pulling you even closer. “Go to sleep, darlin’. We promised the boys an early mornin’.”

You shook your head, cuddling up against him as your eyes drifted shut. “Actually, you promised them an early morning, not me,” 

Jax rolled his eyes, kicking at the sheets until they pooled around yours and his legs, and he reached down with his free hand to pull them up around your bodies. “I speak for both of us,” he said, “That’s kinda how this works.”

You lifted a brow, letting out an unimpressed laugh as he wrapped his arm around your body. “Whatever helps you sleep at night,”

Jax smirked, “That would be you, darlin’,”

Daisy parked her dad's old Ford truck on a side road. She could hear the party as soon as she got out of the car. Several people gathered outside by parked bikes smoking. A larger man she didn't recognize choked out a laugh as she passed. If not for the cold nipping at her nose and the look on Luann's face if she didn't show she would've turned back around.

The front of the house was decked out in Christmas lights. The walkway up to the front door had candy canes lined down it. The door ripped open before she could knock. A blonde woman unsteady in her high heels was being partially carried by Tig Trager. He practically dropped her to the ground as he recognized Daisy. 

“It’s you!” He slurred as his shoulder brushed hers. 

Daisy gave her best smile. 

“It’s me.” 

Tig remembered the woman now hanging onto the stair rail for dear life. Daisy took it as her opportunity to sneak into the house.

If outside was frosty the inside of the home was a furnace. Daisy cursed herself for the sweater she decided to wear. Tugging on a piece of thread that hung from her sleeve she decided to go to the kitchen first. She found the counter filled with liquor and gingerbread cookies. Pouring Tito's into a plastic cup decorated with mistletoe she took a deep breath.

As she made her way further into the party she started to recognize some of the men from the club. Most gave her a smile or a wave as she passed. 

Then she saw him across the room talking with Opie and a woman who looked about their age. Jax wasn’t the same scrawny teenager he was when she left. He finally grew a beard instead of the stubble he used to sprout. But his blonde hair still fell to his shoulders in a Coban fashion she used to tease him about.

When his blue eyes met hers a smile stretched across his cheeks . He watched her the whole time he made it through the crowd. As if he looked away she might disappear. 

He wrapped her into a hug as soon as he reached her. 

“Look who came!’ He mumbled into her hair. 

She shied away from his gaze.

“Yeah I thought I'd keep you company” She smiled “ You know how boring y'alls parties can be.”

He laughed.

He grabbed her hand and led her through a group of people towards Opie.

If Jax had changed since they were teens Opie was a whole other person. He was always tall but now he towered over Daisy. He had a full beard and gained muscle everywhere. 

He crushed her into a hug.

“Hey Das!” Opie said louder than any sober person would.

Daisy glanced at the woman next to him. She was pretty with long brown hair. Daisy tried to rack her brain if they’d met before. But she didn’t look like a hang around. 

“Oh this is my wife Donna.” Opie introduced.

Daisy’s mouth fell open. 

“Wife?” Daisy choked out. 

Opie wrapped his arms around Donna with a proud look on his face.

“Yeah. I would’ve invited you to the wedding but you change your address and number every other week.” He joked. 

“Yeah-” Daisy was interrupted by Luann slurring out that Daisy had to meet some woman from her studio. 

Thirty minutes passed with her introduced to people Luann swore she knew. Eventually she was able to pull away and sneak out the back door. She packed her lucky strikes in the pack. Exhaling the nicotine she watched the smoke dance in the air.

The door opened behind her. Jax gave her a sheepish smile as he walked out. 

“ You hiding?” He asked. 

Daisy nodded.

She offered him a smoke and he took it. He took a seat beside her on the bench. Their thighs touched. She tried not to think too much about the shot of electricity that went through her chest at it. They smoked in silence for a few moments. Daisy looked at Jax to find him already looking back.

His eyes wandered across her face like looking at her for the first time tonight. She wondered if he noticed her chapped lips or the pimple that sprouted on her jaw overnight.

 Daisy flicked the ash from her cigarette just to move her hands. 

She stared up at the stars overhead. Twinkling like the Christmas lights that shone in the house behind them. When she glances back at Jax his gaze was still on her. 

“What?” She huffed out an awkward puff of air.

“You haven't changed at all.” He said as if it were a fact.

She thought about telling him of back home. Of the friends she had lost too soon. The boyfriend who wasn't really a boyfriend and how she felt empty around him. Of how she thought she must've aged a thousand years in a couple months. 

But instead she nodded. 

What use was it to drag all her shit back here?

She looked back at him and noticed something in his eyes. Not overtly unhappy, more so a heaviness that attached itself to him.

She wondered if he had someone to turn to at night. If maybe he was as lonely as she was in this crowded house. 

As soon as the thought crossed her mind she willed it away. 

“I think it’s this place.” She mused around her cigarette , “ It makes me feel sixteen again.” 

Jax hummed in agreement beside her. 

The pit in her stomach opened up and swallowed what little clam the night air offered her.

Her mind drifted towards her father. She wished he was here laughing loudly in the crowded living room with the others. 

“You still do that thing?” Jax spoke beside her. 

“What thing?” Daisy questioned.

Jax brought a hand up to cup her jaw. He brushed his thumb against her bottom lip and pulled her bottom from between her teeth. 

“You chew your lip when you're thinking too hard.” He said in a hushed tone.

Daisy nipped the tip of his thumb in response. A smile spread across his face. He leaned forwards and her breath caught in her throat.

Jax replaced his thumb with his lips. He slightly bit her lip in his rush to capture her lips against his.But Daisy couldn't bring herself to care. 

Instead she focused on the warm feeling blossoming in her chest. It replaced the unease she felt throughout the night.

He pulled back a little, their lips barely touching. Like he was testing to see if they were still familiar with each other. But kissing Jax has always been as easy as breathing. 

She ran her hands up through his hair and pulled him closer. A groan came from Jax at the tug.

His hand grabbed her thigh and half way pulled her on top of him. She could feel the tingle at the base of her thigh start as he felt his thigh move under her. 

“You gonna fuck me outside of a party?” She teased as she caught her breath.

“Wouldn't be the first time.” He gave her a peck on the lips.

Her laugh was cut off by him bringing her mouth back to his.

She shifted so she was fully seated in his lap. She ignored the groan of the bench under them. Jax placed his hands on her hips making her grind down onto him.  Daisy groaned into his mouth.

As he started to wonder his hands up her sweater the back door opened. Gemma stood at the entrance.  If looked could kill Daisy could be dead ten times over.

“I’ve been looking for you.” She said ignoring Daisy, “ We’re opening presents. I would like you to be there.” 

Daisy awkwardly climbed off his lap. Jax gave her a sympathetic smile.

Entering the house he headed for the living room with everyone else. Daisy headed for her car. She would make up an excuse to Luann later. 

She left three days later.