#jatpxbtr

Reggie strummed on his guitar, staring up at the poster of Kurt Cobain that he had finally hung up above his bed. Shaking his head as his hands fell down the strings, his eyes closed for a moment, letting the sound vibrate off the walls until it melted into silence. 

He let his hand rest there for a moment, letting the instrument fall completely flat against his chest. He could feel base rise and fall with his steady breathing as he let his hands fall to his sides. 

As the quiet began to swallow him whole, he heard a small clank come from the right corner of the room. He anchored his head toward the window, scrunching his eyebrows as he propped himself up onto his elbow. He watched the dimly lit space for another moment before the tiny reverberating noise struck again. This time, he removed his guitar from around his neck and sat it to the side as he brought himself up to a seated position. 

Lifting himself off the bed, he walked slowly over toward the small opening. His eyes fell on a single spotlight in the middle of his backyard. In the swollen light she stood in, their eyes met. Her arm came up cautiously halfway to wave up at him, but he just stood there, emotionless at her sudden appearance. 

Nevertheless, his hands reached for the latch, pulling it forward and releasing a slight stream of cool air into his room. He gripped onto each side of the chipped white window and pulled it up just far enough for him to stick his head out of it. He cleared his throat before he let his voice escape his throat.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, his eyes looking left to right after the last word left his mouth.

Both of his parents were sleeping, and he knew he’d never hear the end of it if he woke them up at 2 a.m. All she did was beam up at him, that bright smile stretched across her face as she clasped her hands together.

“Hi,” She said, biting down on her lower lip for a moment before speaking again. “Come outside?”

He rolled his eyes, nodding silently in her direction before leaning back and shutting the window. He took a deep breath, rotating his wrists at his sides as he pushed forward toward the door. He took the steps slowly, making his way to the sliding door agonizingly long.

He pushed back the glass and stepped forward into the frigid night air. Wrapping his arms around himself as he walked over to her. She was sitting in a purple foldable lawn chair near the makeshift fire-pit that he’d built over the summer. She sat sideways on the seat, swinging her feet back and forth in his direction as she held his gaze.

“Are you done avoiding me now?”

“What are you talking about?” He ran a hand through his hair as the sentence burned his throat. 

Her small smile fell instantly as he spoke, shaking her head softly at him as she let the wind take the conversation for a moment. His hands were getting clammy as her glare bore into him. Reggie tried to ball his fists to stop his fingers from vibrating but he couldn’t muster the strength to keep them clenched. 

“Y/N, our conversation the other day,” He exhaled loudly as he tried to complete his racing thoughts. “It was just a lot for me.” 

“Reg, it’s been two weeks.” 

He meets her eyes again to see her already staring at him. Her head was tilted slightly to the left, letting her full curls wave in the twilight air. He’s glad that the hue of the light above her was dying, because it hid those green eyes from him. He heard her move, feet hitting the grass as she stood. 

Y/N took her time walking toward him, swinging her hands side to side as she made her way to his personal bubble. Pressing to tops of her shoes to his, she rose her face to his to hold his attention. He could feel her breath pressing into his cheeks, her lilac scent overwhelming him immediately. 

“I just need to know if you want to be with me or not,” She said as she leaned forward on her tiptoes. “It’s a simple question.

As she fell back onto the ground, he finally took a breath in. She stayed firmly planted at his feet, wrapping her arms behind her. The way she was batting her eyelashes his way made it forming his next sentence hazy at best.

“It’s not that I don’t want to be with you,” Reggie said as he reached out to grab her hand. “I just, need time.”

“Reggie, we’ve been seeing each other for over a year now. I’ve given you so much time.”

When he didn’t answer, she took another step toward him. Reggie fell back a few steps and she frowned, squeezing onto his palm

“I like you. You like me. Be with me, it’s that easy,”

Reggie shook his head vigorously, letting go of her hand. Y/N’s arms crossed at her chest as she watched his eyes dart around in the dark. He put rested his hands on his head. 

“You don’t understand, I don’t want to screw this up,” He finally said just above a whisper.

Y/N’s forehead tense as she closed the gap between them again. She looked up at his red cheeks with a sympathetic smile. Her hands reached up to his cheeks, cupping his face in her embrace. As her thumb rubbed against the heat forming on his skin, he finally smiled down at her. 

“Reggie, why are you worried about that now? We haven’t even tried.” 

He leaned into her touch for a moment, letting his eyes close in thought. His mindless hands wandered to her waist, bringing her into him. Reggie heard her take a sharp breath in and opened his eyes again to meet her shocked expression. 

“I’ve never done this before y/n,” his hands pulling her tighter as his voice wavered in and out. “But I know that losing you will hurt and that’s something that scares me every single day.” 

She let her hands fall down to his neck, wrapping around it loosely. She shook her head at him as they began to absentmindedly sway back and forth as they looked at each other. His lips couldn’t help but curve upward as she pulled back hers into a smile as she played with the hair sitting at the nape of his neck.

“I know,” She said abruptly. “But I also know that if I don’t get a chance to be with you, that the regret will sit with me forever Reg. I have to take this chance, I can’t just be friends with you anymore.”

He didn’t respond, instead he just pressed a kiss to her forehead before he rested his against it as they continued to rock in sync. Reggie’s heart was racing as he basked in the closeness they shared. 

“Y/N,” He said softly, bringing her attention back up to his eyes. 

“Be with me Reg,” She responded, a harsh rasp in her pleading voice.

She leaned forward, pressing her lips against his for a moment. As they pulled away, her face scrunched as she awaited for the impact of her words. He leaned back down to her face and pressing his lips to her cheek. 

“Okay,” He started, giggling as he watched her eyes glow. “But can we be gentle about this. And slow?”

“Whatever you need,” She nodded, cheeks burning under his gaze.

Reggie lifted her into his arms, spinning her around twice. Giggles spilled from her lips for a moment before he placed her back onto the ground, hands still grasping at her hips.

.

.

.

.

 A lazy smile found its way on his face, his eyes closed softly as the words “I am in love with you” left his lips in a hum, quiet enough that they could have been carried away with the wind. She tilted her head so that her chin was propped up on his chest. Her right hand stretched towards his face, her thumb lightly grazed across his lips, “and I, you, my dear.”

He caught her hand before it could retract and softly kissed her knuckle. She could feel his smile against her soft skin as he turned her hand over and pressed one kiss to her palm. Without hesitation, she pushed against his chest and found herself slightly hovering over him. Her hair fell forward, tickling his cheek before she leaned down and pressed her chapped lips against his. He tucked her hair behind her ear as she pulled back. 

The sun began to set in the distance, the orange light cast her skin in an ethereal glow. She let her body collapse onto his, her head tucked into the crook of his neck. Her eyelashes fluttered against his skin. His left hand twirled a lock of her hair around his fingers as the silence settled between them for a moment, both knowing that their slice of heaven would be coming to an end soon but neither wanting to acknowledge it

“I have to get you home before dark, love.” He murmured, his lips pressed to her forehead. 

“I know,” she sighed.

The breeze sent a shiver down her spine, the coolness of dusk settling in as crickets began to chirp in the distance. She removed herself up from his chest, his hands steadied her as she pushed herself up from the ground. Her hands smoothed over the fabric of her dress, she could imagine what her mother would say if she knew what she had been doing in her Sunday’s best. 

She looked off into the distance while he shook the blanket out and began folding it into a perfect square. He tucked it under his arm and held out her canary yellow cardigan to her. She pulled the cardigan on, the material warm against her cool skin. He reached for her right hand, his palm sliding against hers until their fingers were tangled together. They walked in silence back through the field, following the small trail that had formed over the past year from their frequent meetings. She glanced over at him as they walked. His eyes locked on the path ahead of them, his lips were pulled in a tight line and his shoulders were tense. He never said anything to her but she knew how much he had hated their secret love affair. 

He pulled the passenger side door open on the red Chevy pickup, his hand untangled from hers, and moved to the small of her back as she hoisted herself into the truck. Her hand immediately reached for the crank, turning it in circles to roll the window down. He put the key into the ignition, the truck roared to life, and Miles Davis’ I’ll Remember April flooded through the speakers. 

“I’m sorry…” Her voice broke through the tension. 

“It’s alright, little bird. When I am with you, nothing even matters.” The same twelve words that he always said poured from his lips. The words came to him out of instinct and she knew that he didn’t truly mean them.

They were from different worlds, she was the daughter of a minister and he was the son of a dead-beat. They were never supposed to cross paths, much less fall in love. She turned her attention back to the open window, rolling hills and pastures flew by as the truck rolled down the paved street. Her mind wandered back to the day she met him, it had all been a matter of circumstances, really. 

-----

The summer air was sticky and humid, she could feel her neatly placed hair start to frizz under as she stood in front of the small white church. Her mother insisted that she wear the canary yellow cardigan with her white dress, despite the fact that it was mid-July and 102 degrees outside. She plastered her best smile on her face while her parents stood on either side of her to get their picture taken for her sixteenth birthday. 

“Momma, can I go now? Laura Jane is expecting me for milkshakes over at pop’s!” She whined impatiently. 

“Go on ahead, then. But you best not spill anything on that dress, little miss.” 

She kissed her mother on the cheek and threw a “bye, daddy!” out as she took off down the pathway to the sidewalk. Her baby blue t-strap heel got caught by the toe on the uneven cement surface and she closed her eyes as she prepared herself for the fall that never came. 

“I got you,” his voice was smooth and his hands a little rough as they caught her forearms. 

She opened her eyes and looked up at the boy through her dark eyelashes, she caught his eyes and smiled. 

“A little soon for you to be falling for me, love.” 

She felt herself blush at his words and couldn’t stop the giggle that erupted from her throat. 

“I’m--” he reached out his right hand to her. 

She shook her head vigorously, “I know who you are, everyone does.” 

His smile dropped at her words and she instantly furrowed her brows as she realized how her words sounded. 

“I didn’t mean anything by that..I-i just meant that you have a reput--” she felt her face heat up as the words seemed to push their own way past her lips until she lifted her left hand to cover her mouth. 

She cleared her throat and let her hand drop back down to her side, “it’s my birthday, do you want to get a milkshake with me at Ruth’s? My treat?”

She ignored the guilt that settled into the back of her mind as she thought about how Laura Jane would be waiting for her in their favorite booth at Pop’s with a strawberry milkshake. 

His white shirt stretched tightly across his chest, the rolled sleeves exposed his biceps. He ran a hand through his slicked-back hair, a strand falling back down onto his forehead. 

“Ruths, huh? You sure you can handle roughing it on my side of town?”

That’s where it started, with a milkshake on the wrong side of town with a boy that everyone said was bad news. It was the first of many times that she stood her friends up for a secret rendezvous in places that no one from her circle would ever dare to step foot in. 

-----

The truck slowed as they rounded the corner two blocks from her house, the breaks whined as his foot pressed down on the brake pedal until they slowed to a halt. She lifted her head from where it had been resting on the door frame and scooted across the bench seat of the truck until she was tucked into his side, her head resting on his shoulder. His thumb rubbed gentle circles into the fabric covering her hip bone. 

“I just want the world to know how much I love you, little bird. Is that really so bad?” She didn’t miss the way his voice cracked, the state of their relationship had been wearing on him for a while. 

“I want that too, you know that.”

She could feel his chest rise under her hand as he took a deep breath and let it out with a cynical chuckle. “Do you? Because it really doesn’t feel that way when I drop you off two blocks from your house so that you can walk home alone.” 

Her eyes locked onto his side profile, his jaw was locked and she could tell that his eyebrows were pinched together. 

“It won’t be like this forever, I promise.” Just like his twelve rehearsed words, her eight came out with the same insincerity. She had made the same promise to him over and over and over, yet here she sat making them again and knowing that when she got home she would keep the day between them a secret for herself. 

His shoulders slumped as her words washed over him. 

“I want to hold your hand in the hallways and show you off and you just want to hide me away, I...I don’t know how much longer I can do this, little bird.” 

She swallowed the lump that began to make her throat feel tight. They had had this conversion plenty of times since their romance began to blossom the previous summer but it had never gotten to this point. Maybe she was naive for thinking that he would really wait around forever for her while she kept making empty promises to him. 

“Please, please don’t say that. I--I love you.” 

He pulled his arm from around her and tightly gripped the steering wheel, his knuckles white from the pressure. He relaxed his grip and flexed his fingers several times before dropping his hands into his lap. 

“I think you should go.” The words left his lips with hesitancy. He hadn’t wanted to say them at all but his heart was aching and he couldn’t bear the thought of her seeing the tears that threatened to make themselves known.

The passenger door of the truck slammed shut and she ignored the way she could feel his eyes on her before his truck was pulling off and she was left on the sidewalk alone. Hot tears gathered behind her eyes, she looked up at the sky, her eyes memorizing the shades of pink and purple that melted together until she felt the tears retreat. She wrapped the cardigan tight around her body, racing the streetlights to her front door. 

Her mother sat on the robin’s egg blue porch swing with a bundle of yarn next to her. The clicking of her mother’s knitting needless halted as her right foot made contact with the first step on the porch. She looked over her shoulder to see the streetlight by the driveway flicker to life. 

“You keep cutting it this close, Junebug, and eventually your daddy is gonna wanna know where you sneak off to after church.” Her mother’s southern drawl called out as the girl rushed into the house, the screen door clattering against the wooden door frame as it swung shut behind her.  

Her face flushed at her mother’s words, wondering just how much her mother actually knew about where she had been and who she had been with. . She slipped the white penny loafers from her feet and let her toes sink into the dusty rose colored carpet. Her left hand glided across the wood paneling of the hallway that led to her bedroom. The wall was lined with photos from her childhood, some in black and white, others in sepia tones. 

She stopped at one family picture, taken on the day of her sixteenth birthday. She was standing in between her mother and father, wearing the same dress that clung to her body now. The small white church was in the background and off to the far left, stood the boy that she loved, he was just a blur and if it hadn’t been for the way that she had memorized every detail about him, she wouldn’t have even noticed his presence in her picture. 

She tore her eyes from the picture as her father walked up behind her and placed his warm hand on her shoulder. 

“That was a great day, Junebug, one of my favorites.” His voice was raspy from the passionate sermon he had delivered earlier in the day. She caught his smile in the reflection of the glass picture frame, causing her own lips to spread across her face. 

“Yeah, daddy..” she hummed out, her eyes lingering on the boy in the leather jacket for a moment longer, “it was the best day.” 

 “You better get yourself cleaned up, your mother’s pot roast will be ready shortly.” He gently squeezed her shoulder and kissed the top of her head. 

She let her eyes linger on the picture for a moment longer while her father retreated down the hallway and towards the dining room. She could hear the clattering on glass plates and tore her attention from the photo, finally making it to her bedroom. 

She placed her white penny loafers onto her the small metal shoe rack that sat just inside of her closet before pulling the cardigan from her shoulders and dropping it into the white linen laundry basket. She pulled a set of red pinstripe pajamas from her chest of drawers, the iron pulls clanked against the mahogany drawer as she pushed it shut. She laid the button-up shirt and pants onto the lilac comforter that covered her bed before making her way back to her door, flicking the light switch off. 

She made it to the dinner table just as her mother was placing the pot roast down onto the crocheted hot pad that would protect the wooden table. Her mother sat at one end of the table while her father sat on the opposite, she found herself sitting between them at the small round table. Her father had the Sunday paper held with both of his hands, his glasses perched on his nose as he read. Her eyes caught the headline on the front of the paper US Performs Atmospheric Nuclear Test Above Bikini Island. She knew better than to say anything about it but she was very much against the idea of nuclear weapons. 

“Put the paper down, dear.” 

Her father looked over the top of the paper and breathed in deep, letting the smell of the pot roast fill his nostrils as he meticulously folded the paper up into its original form and placed it onto the empty spot of the table to his left. 

She let her hands fall into the palms of both her mother and father’s hands, her eyes stayed open and locked on her empty plate as her father said grace. Just like her political views and her secret relationship were a secret, she also wouldn’t dare to utter the words that she didn’t believe in God.

She patiently waited as her father filled his plate up first and then her mother before she handed her plate over to her father and let him pile it with the pot roast, potatoes, and carrots. The pot roast melted on her tongue and filled her body with warmth and comfort. She looked up every now and then and offered a “that’s interesting” or a curt smile as her parents made small talk around the table.  

“You’re being awfully quiet, Junebug.” Her mother remarked. 

She reached for her glass of water and took a long swallow before acknowledging the woman’s prying eyes. 

“Just a lot on my mind, I guess.” 

Her father’s hearty laugh filled the small dining room, “and what is on that mind of yours, dear?”

She turned her attention back to her plate, stabbing a soft carrot with her fork while she conjured up a believable lie. 

 “Nothing important, I have an exam in geometry tomorrow and the pep rally is Friday, we’re working on a new pep rally chant and I am nervous about getting it right.” 

She bit the carrot in half and slowly chewed it, coughing when her mother clapped her hands together giddily. 

“Speaking of the pep rally! The Jacobson's boy still needs an escort, I believe.” By the tone of her mother’s voice, she knew that Robert Jacobson definitely needed an escort to the pep rally and that it was being implied that she would be going as his date. 

“Momma, please don’t tell me you promised them I would be his date.” 

“Well, honey, I don’t see you lining up any prospects for yourself.” 

A silence fell over the table and she knew that there was no getting out of it. She slowly finished her meal and waited for permission to excuse herself from the table. She took her plate to the kitchen and rinsed it off in the sink before heading to her room. She gathered the red pinstripe pajama set from her bed and headed to the bathroom where she let her mind wander to how she was going to tell him that she had an arranged date to the pep rally. 

-----

Chirping birds from outside of her bedroom window pulled her from her slumber. She rubbed the heels of her palms into her sleepy eyes before glancing at the small analog clock that sat on her nightstand. 6:00 am. 

She pulled herself from the bed and readied herself for the day. She cinched a brown belt at her waist over the pale yellow skirt that hit at her shins, a white short-sleeved button up with a peter pan collar tucked into the skirt and a matching yellow cardigan covered her arms. She slipped on a pair of white and brown saddle shoes over her frilly socks and let her brown leather satchel hang off of her left shoulder. 

“Bye Momma, bye Daddy!” She hollered as she ran out of the house, the screen door slamming shut behind her. She could hear her mother yell at her from the living room about the slamming door but paid no mind as her feet slapped against the sidewalk. 

Her heart sank as she made it to their usual spot, two blocks away, and didn’t see his red truck sitting on the side of the road waiting for her. She glanced down at the thin gold watch that adorned her wrist and frowned, she wouldn’t have time to wait to see if he showed up. She trudged herself back a block and stood at the stop sign as the yellow bus approached her. The bus driver pushed on the metal handle allowing the doors to open and she clambered onto the bus with the group of teens that stood at the bus stop with her. She set herself in the front seat behind the drive and pulled her bag into her lap. Her head rested on the cold window and her eyes stared at the passing pavement as the bus moved from stop to stop. The bus was filled with loud chatter and she was sure that the girl sitting next to her had said something to her but her mind was preoccupied with the boy that hadn’t shown up for her.

Her eyes caught his red truck sitting in the parking lot as the bus pulled up to the school and she felt her heart sink even further knowing that he hadn’t simply skipped school but rather chose to skip picking her up instead. 

She pulled herself from the brown leather seat and piled out of the bus, a string of apologies flying from her mouth as she pushed through the crowd. Her heart raced as she approached her locker and found the boy leaning against it, his head tilted back as his eyes studied the ceiling tiles. He pushed himself forward as she stood in front of him, his fingers brushed against hers for a moment before he shoved his hands into his pockets. She hesitantly met his eyes as her left hand twirled the combination lock, stopping at the correct numbers from muscle memory. 

“I have to tell you something.” She said, her words just above a whisper. 

She watched as his eyes shifted from hers to the hallway, “later,” he breathed out just as quietly. She followed his eyes to the two approaching girls. She felt the guilt settle into her bones and opened her mouth to utter another apology only to find that he had already disappeared down the hallway. 

She turned her attention back to her locker and grabbed her textbook for her history class. 

"Were you just chatting it up with--"

"We have a science project to do together." She cut Marie off and slammed her locker shut before turning around to face the two girls, the textbook cradled to her chest. 

"I heard a rumor that you're going to the pep rally with none other than the golden boy, Robert Jacobson." Laura Jane gushed. 

"And where did you hear that from?" She asked absentmindedly.

Marie and Laura Jane shared a glance before going down the line of where the rumor started.

"Tommy Brennan said he heard it from Jessica Adams and she heard it from Richard Dean who said that Robert Jacobson told him himself." 

"So?" Marie quizzed, "is it true?"

The three girls walked down the labyrinth of hallways and she pursed her lips as she peered into a classroom where the leather jacket-clad boy sat at a desk, his fingers drumming against the wooden surface.

She thought about how his heart would break seeing her with another boy. 

"No," she said finally, "it's not true." 

She quickly darted into Mr. Zimmerman’s classroom and slid into her assigned seat before the two girls could further interrogate her.

Six hours slowly ticked by and she felt her stomach turn to knots when the last bell rang. She stopped by her locker to drop off her textbooks before she joined the flood of students that poured out of the brick building. She looked to the left at the school bus that would take her home before looking to the right at the red truck that sat waiting in the parking lot. She could see the boy sitting in the driver's seat staring her way. She glanced back at the school bus before her feet starting closing the distance between her and the truck. 

She pulled on the chrome handle of the passenger side door and slid into the passenger seat before dropping her satchel at her feet. 

“I heard the rumors.” He all but snarled. 

She slid across the seat and placed her left hand on his knee, “that’s all they are, just rumors.” 

The tension in his body eased at her reassurance. He dropped his right hand from the steering wheel and let it fall on top of hers. His thumb ran over the top of her knuckles before he turned her hand over and slid his palm against hers. 

“Can we talk about last night?” He asked, his voice more vulnerable than she had ever heard before. 

“Yeah,” she breathed out, “I think we should.” 

He gently squeezed her hand and slightly turned his body so that he was facing her. 

“I’m...I’m scared that I won’t be strong enough to withstand all of the talk if everyone knew about us” She felt her bottom lip quiver as she forced herself to be honest with him about her insecurities. 

He lifted his left hand to her face and softly caressed her cheek.

“I feel like we’ve built this wall that surrounds us and I know that you’re scared but no amount of judgment is ever going to knock that wall down, little bird. I love you more than, well, anything.”

His fingers softly pressed into the nape of her neck as he pulled her face towards his. Their lips moved together in sync before he pulled away and pressed his forehead to hers. His breath fanned across her face as he whispered the words into the space between them, “everything will be alright, little bird. Nothing even matters, but you and I.” 

“Okay.” She pressed her lips against his for a brief moment. “Drive me home?” 

“Anything for you, little bird.” 

She scooted over to the passenger seat and rested her against the door frame as the truck roared to life. She quietly sang along to Frank Sinatra’s Young at Heart as he drove the familiar streets towards her house. 

Without a word, he pulled up to the curb two blocks from her house and unbuckled his seat belt. He pulled her lips to his and murmured “see you tomorrow, little bird.” 

The words were enough for her to know that they were okay. She pressed three more chaste kisses to his lips before she grabbed her satchel from the floorboard and hopped out of the truck. She adjusted her skirt and slung the satchel over her shoulder before taking off down the sidewalk with an extra skip in her step. 

------

The smile dropped from her face when she entered the living room to find her mother and father sitting on the couch with their arms crossed and firm looks on their faces. Her father crossed the room and turned off the radio that was quietly humming. 

“We need to have a discussion about your recent activities, young lady!” Her mother said sternly while her father gestured for her to have a seat in the chair adjacent to the couch. She let her satchel fall to the floor and quickly took a seat. 

“Imagine my surprise when Mrs.Jackson told me she saw my daughter! The preacher's daughter shacking up in the school parking lot with that boy!” Her hands trembled in her lap and tears began to well up in her eyes as her father’s voice boomed out. 

“Daddy, I..I can...it wasn’t.” She stuttered out between gulping breaths. 

“I don’t want to hear a word out of you!” Her father fulminated. 

She looked over at her mother who hadn’t said a single word yet, her eyes pleading with her mother to de-escalate the situation. 

Her mother pursed her lips and uncrossed her arms. She pointed towards the hallway and narrowed her eyes at the girl, “you are to go straight to your room where you will spend the remainder of the night. You are to go to school and come straight home until you have deemed yourself to be trustworthy again and you can forget going to the pep rally on Friday, do you understand me?”

“Momma, please!” She sobbed, the tears ran down her cheeks faster than her hands could wipe them away. 

She flinched as her father’s voice thundered out for her to go to her room. She scurried out of the chair and ran to her room where she threw herself onto the lilac comforter, her face buried into the white pillow as her body shook with sobs. 

Her breathing evened out as dusk fell across the town and the cicadas began clicking outside of her window. She could hear the floors creak as her parents made their way to their bedroom. She waited for the sound of distant snores before she pulled herself up from her bed and quietly trekked through the house until she reached the kitchen where the black rotary phone sat on a small table. 

The finger wheel slowly clicked as she dialed the number that she had memorized by heart, the phone pressed to her ear while she silently prayed for him to answer the phone. 

“Hello?”

A sigh of relief escaped her lips a the sound of his voice, “hey…”

“Little bird?” 

“Yeah”

“Are you okay?”

“Little bird?” He asked again after her silence fell through the speaker. 

“They know..” she finally said. 

He stayed silent as he waited for her to elaborate. 

‘They know about us and it wasn’t good.”

“Hey,” his voice soothed, “remember what I told you, yeah?”

“Nothing even matters but you and I.” She recited, her lips tugged up at the corners despite her best efforts. 

“Do you want to go to our place tomorrow?” 

“No,” she smiled, “pick me up for school tomorrow? I wanna hold your hand in the hallways?”

“Okay...yeah, okay.” He berated out and she could hear the smile in his voice. 

-------

The following morning was tense as she got ready for school. She could feel the uneasy air in the home as she meandered back and forth from her room before she grabbed her satchel and quietly bid her parents goodbye. She made sure to hold the screen door and let it gently close without even a hint of a thud against the doorframe. 

Her face lit up with a smile when she reached the last step on the porch and looked up to find her favorite red truck parked at her mailbox. She ran across the yard and quickly took her place in the passenger seat. She pressed a kiss to his cheek and let her eyes linger on the living room window of her house where she could see her parents watching her. 

“Ready?”

She tore her attention from the window and smiled over at the boy, “yeah, let’s give them something to talk about.” 

She felt the butterflies flutter around her stomach as they drove to school in silence, her left hand entangled with his. Her heart raced as they pulled into the parking lot and she knew that he could feel how clammy her hand was getting in his. 

‘We don’t have to do this, ya know that?”

She stared into his eyes and the way that he looked at her with total admiration and love. She shook her head and silently got out of the truck. He followed suit and hesitantly stood next to her.

“They can talk, say what they want about us...and nothing even matters.”  She looked up at him and wrapped her arms around his waist while his right arm hung over her shoulders. The pair clung to each other as they walked across the parking lot. She ignored the staring eyes and the hushed whispers because he was hers and she was his and nothing else mattered.

“Luke, this is so pointless.”

The boys were huddled together as the cold wind blew past them, which was so strong it almost knocked them off their feet. Some of the gusts of wind were blocked by the other pods of humans around them, all in line together for the past 6 hours outside this record label. Luke was currently pushed into Alex’s side with his guitar case propped up against his body so he could keep his hands shoved into his thin coat pockets. His hood was larger than seemed appropriate so the sides drooped over the sides of his face which hid the glare Luke sent Alex’s way at his comment.

“This isn’t pointless Alex. Meeting with one of these guys could open so many doors for us.”

Luke forced his words through shivers that traveled through his body from being in the harsh Chicago winter. The past week has been hell for the four teenagers as they walked miles and miles, caught rides from strangers, and snuck onto whatever bus or train they found going east. Word got around that a big record company based in the midwest was searching for a new underground band to sign and were encouraging bands from all over to come audition. Luke had somehow heard of this competition of sorts and dragged his bandmates along to find their way to this huge building in the middle of December in who knows where downtown Chicago. It was a long way from their home in Hollywood but Luke knew that his band, their band, just had something special and could go so far if someone would just give them the chance.

“I just can’t believe we even made it on time. I thought we were gonna be stuck in Colorado forever.”

Bobby clenched his guitar case closer to his body as he leaned against a brick wall, looking around at the other musicians around. Since it took the boys forever to get here, they didn’t get the first spot in line. There seemed to be 15 other bands in front of them and another 20 behind them. They all had a mixture of guitars and makeshift drum kits, even some who had string and brass instruments. Though the one thing they had in common was that they all seemed to be older, more mature, and refined. These people were dressed to impress and carried themselves confidently. Sunset Curve stood out like a sore thumb in their ripped jeans, which they would have never worn if they knew how cold it was out here, beanies, and dirty old vans. They were four teenagers from Hollywood who had never left home before and, the majority of the members didn’t have that much faith in themselves to still be able to play once they got inside due to feeling like their fingers were going to fall off due to hypothermia.

“Guys, can we get some food after this? I’ve heard Chicago has the best pizza. Oh, and their hotdogs are apparently to die for!”

“Reggie, do you ever not think about food?”

“That’s implying that he actually thinks.”

Luke drowned out his best friends, Reggie now trying to defend himself from Alex’s comment, and began looking at the large skyscraper and tall buildings in the Chicago skyline. The sun was barely starting to rise which meant many of the bright lights from apartment buildings and streetlights were still illuminating the streets and giving the skyline its shape. As he looked back at the towering record exec building behind him and then down at his busted up guitar case that was covered in stickers he’s collected over the year, Luke reflected back on his year. As his mind drifted to all the minor band arguments they’ve had all the way to the night he walked out on his parents Luke couldn’t believe he was here. He was here about to audition for the chance to get a record deal, record an album, go on a tour, and share his music with the world. And he was doing it with his three best friends by his side. Luke was pulled from his thoughts when the line in front of him moved forward, meaning the first band in line was invited in.

“Guys, they’ve started the auditions.”

Luke hit Reggie’s arm to pull him away from his bickering with Alex and Bobby, the action causing all the boys to quiet down. Suddenly the teenagers all felt a wave of nervousness overtake them. All four sets of eyes darted around, trying to keep themselves busy as no one dared say anything. Tension built up in their small huddle as they took another set of steps forward due to the line moving up again. They were biting their lips and picking at their nails trying to calm themselves down but wincing as the cold air felt like needles on their skin as it flew by them again.

“Are we sure we can do this? You know, actually, get picked or something?

Alex mumbled under his breath as he pulled his drumsticks out of his backpack and twirling them around his fingers slowly. One of the things he did when he was anxious and it was becoming too much. Luke looked up and sent him apologetic eyes after watching the sticks twirl around in his right hand. Alex’s left arm, which was still keeping Luke pushed into his side to protect him from the cold, tightened around Luke’s shoulders as Alex sent Luke a look that he couldn’t quite read.

“There are so many bands here. I’m nervous that we aren’t at the same level as them.”

“Maybe we made a mistake coming here.”

The three boys shared approving glances, all of them filled with doubt and worries about performing in front a group of very important people. Luke looked at his bandmates with a shocked expression on his face, not believing what he was hearing. No matter what anyone ever said about the band and their musical abilities or talent, Luke always had faith in them. The amount of bands who used to play side by side with them at random open mics around town that have since disappeared is too high to count. They didn’t have the same drive as Sunset Curve. They didn’t have the same motivation as them. Those bands didn’t have as much riding on their band as Luke did on his.

“What are you guys blabbing on about? Where are these doubts coming from boys?”

No one replied to Luke, the three boys still looking down at their feet and playing with random strings coming out of their jackets to avoid eye contact. The line moved up again which meant there were now only about 5 bands in between the four boys and their audition.

“This is a once in a lifetime opportunity you guys! Record labels don’t just open auditions like this!”

By this point, Luke had stepped away from Alex’s warmth to be in full view of his best friends. There was a jump in his step as he waved his arms in the air for added effect when he talked. Luke fixed the worn-out beanie on his head as he heard a collective sigh from the boys. This caused Luke to shake his head, a smile of disbelief forming on his face.

“We have practiced our asses off for this audition you guys. We got this!”

The excitement in his voice did nothing to convince the boys. The line moved forward again as Luke walked backward in order to keep his bright gaze on his band. Bobby opted to set his guitar case on the ground as he did a squat, needing to move around a bit from the stiffness in his joints from the cold. Reggie and Alex were both leaning against the wall now, the latter of the two mumbling about how Reggie wasn’t allowed to play with his drumsticks. Luke stepped forward to rip the drumsticks from Alex’s hands and pull Bobby back up from his squat.

“You guys, listen to me!”

The volume change and tone of Luke’s voice finally caught the boys' attention, all of them turning their bodies towards him. The line moved up another spot getting the boys around the corner of the brick wall and allowing them to see inside the glass building. The sight of bodyguards guarding the entrance to the lobby, which was decked out with big artwork and weirdly shaped couches. All four of them were entranced by the beauty of the building in its entirety for so long the line moved up again. One more band and then it was their turn. Luke broke his gaze away from the luxury building and brought his bandmate's attention back to him.

“All of us have gone through too much shit to let nerves or doubts get in the way of us. And you know what, who cares if we bomb it. Oh well. We will go back home and get right back to practicing. We will practice and practice and get more gigs until we finally catch someone’s eye.”

They were now at the front of the line. A guard mumbled the rules for probably the 20th time today about how they will go in the building soon, turn left, and will be allowed to work in the practice room for five minutes before the execs will come in. The boys nodded softly, their eyes wide and breathing heavily as realization finally set in.

“We are about to go into that building and play for some of the most important record execs in the world. Make it count boys. Don’t look back. Don’t hesitate. When we go big time, when we finally make it, today will seem like a walk in the park.”

Just as Luke finished his sentence, someone called for the next band to come in. The boys shared one more glance with each other, some small smiles and some nervous breaths were exchanged as they picked up their bags and cases. They slowed walked in the building together, standing side by side as they found the practice room. They admired the shiny hardwood floors and the dark blue walls that were covered in plaques and golden records. For a second, they took it all in together before they all went to their collective spots. Luke, Bobby, and Reggie found their respective microphones and amps that were set up by the label. Alex dropped his bag on the floor, staring in place at the beautiful drum kit in front of him. Luke walked over to him, placing his drumsticks in his hand before patting his back and heading back to his microphone. Alex took small steps to the kit, admiring the almost brand new cymbals that were so clear he could see himself. He took a seat on the stool, adjusting it quickly to his height as he tried to calm his nerves down. Picking his head up, he saw the boys sling their guitars and bass around their body and starting strumming random chords to warm a bit. Trying to push the nerves aside, Alex began doing some random beats, letting himself only feel the way his arms pushed through the air and the vibrations that came through the sticks every time he hit a drum. 

“Alright, let’s just do the chorus, sing it in tune but don’t waste your energy. Keep it low tempo. Alex watch out for that entrance after the second verse. And Reggie, I’ll make sure to cut off early enough so you can get that bass solo in.”

Luke directed the band on what to do in the short time they had to warm up. They all stayed circled around Alex and the drums, keeping their vocals almost to themselves, not daring to let anyone else hear them. Their three-minute song seemed to fly by because just as they finished their last line of the song, the double doors on the other side of the room flew open. Three grown men, dressed in suits and buttons up, decked out with expensive watches and sunglasses despite being inside. One of them threw up a wave to the band, who were now all stood up straight as their wide eyes watched the men take their seats at the folding chairs set up at the front of the room.

“Alright boys, it’s nice to meet you. I am Jacob, the big man in charge here at Starlight Records. These two here are Aaron and Matthew, our two biggest producers that have worked with some of our more well-known clients. You guys got your demo and paperwork?”

Luke nodded furiously and jumped forward to rummage around Alex’s backpack. He pulled out the thin CD case, printed with the band’s logo, and the papers with their contact information, bios about the band and the boys as individuals, and parental consent forms that they all definitely forged. He walked them up to the table and handed them off, sending them a goofy smile as he almost tripped over his feet getting there. Heading back to the band, he called them all back up to circle around the drumkit.

“You guys can start whenever you’re ready. Take your time, and have some fun up there.”

The boys circled up, Alex standing up so he could lean into the huddle. The boys wrapped their arms around each other's shoulders, everyone’s attention turning immediately to Luke. As he felt all eyes on him, Luke thought carefully about the last words he’d say to his band before the most important performance of their life.

“Okay, I know we are all nervous and all of us want to puke our guts out right now. But I need you guys to push through that. Think about all the shit we’ve gone through this year and what we have overcome as individuals and as a band.”

“Yeah, I never thought I would pass that math test.”

“Reggie, that’s not what he means.”

Luke chuckled at Reggie’s attempt to lighten the mood. He looked over at Bobby, who had been staring at the ground, with an unreadable expression. Luke kicked his foot into Bobby’s, pulling his attention back up to him.

“Guys, give this performance everything you got. Whatcha gotta lose anyway?”

The boys all shared nods, smiles appearing on their faces as they all seemed to gain a surge of energy. The obvious nerves they all shared were long gone as they started patting each other’s backs, sending their own words of encouragement to one another. Luke watched as his best friends hyped themselves up and soaking up the newfound energy in their group huddle.

“Alright you guys, one last thing. Remember, if you want it all, you got to lay it on the line. This is the only life ya get boys, so we gotta live big time.”

They disbanded from their huddle and took their spots on the makeshift stage. Luke took one last glance at Reggie, then Bobby, and then sent one last side smirk to the record execs before turning to Alex and sending him a wink. Luke’s heart was beating ten times faster as he heard Alex count off with each hit of his drumsticks. Bobby’s first chords started up and Luke stepped back from the mic. He took hold of the guitar neck, placing his fingers in the spot for the first note, as he did a slight jump up the microphone. He sang out the first verse as his fingers played the song from muscle memory. The boys were on electric as they reached the chorus, the trio in front was jumping around the stage as they shared mics and leaned into each other as they played together. They felt as if they were on the top of the world as if this is what they were born for.

At that moment, Sunset Curve gained a newfound confidence. They carried that passion and that energy through the whole song, until the very last note. As the chords ended and the resonance from Alex’s last cymbal crashed disappeared, the boys stood there with the biggest smiles on their faces as their chest heaved up and down. The thin layer of sweat on their foreheads and the adrenaline coursing through them added to the absolute high they were all feeling. Nothing could bring them down right now, especially not when all three men in front of them were nodding and smiling as they whispered to one another. Jacob, the big boss man, stood up from his chair and walked up to the band, calling them over to where Luke had been standing. Alex stumbled out from behind the drums as he joined the huddle and stood behind Luke. As they waited for Jacob to start talking, Luke’s hand reached back to take Alex’s hand in his, Luke's fingers slowly rubbing across his knuckles.

“Boys, how would you feel about recording an album with Starlight Records?”

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jatp taglist: @lolychu​ @caitsymichelle13​ @walkingonshunshine​ @all-in-fangirl​ @lovesanimals​ @lukewearingbeanies​ @kaitieskidmore1​ @kinda-really-lost​ @morganayennefertyrell​ @mysteriouseyes427​ @writerinlearning​ @katie-navarro​ @must-be-a-weasley-92​ @mialovesmgg​ @n0wornever​ @calamitykaty​ @aliandthephantoms​ @cherrymaybank​ @obxflowr​ @5sosmukefan @marvelgirl300​ @whitemanshoe19​ @buckybarnesishot310 @headheartbellarke​ @etherealtauruss @thesweetestsinner​ 

HUGE thank you to @meangirlsx​ for listening to me as i bounced ideas for this off of her !! i tried to find parallels between characters to determine who i drew as who, and she helped with that a ton. in the end i’m very happy with how it turned out ! as soon as i heard about JATPxBTR week i knew i wanted to do something like this !!