Jul 17
fimmvörðuháls, iceland; 2023
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fimmvörðuháls, iceland; 2023
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tried shifting again last night, not much happened. might try doing some meditation throughout the day and not just before i lay down?
(note, all my shifting experience will now be tagged as “jaspers journal” in order to organize!)
Jay is getting way more out there these days
years ago i lived in an empty one-bedroom apartment. i worked the overnight shift and slept on the floor with my dog. once, at around 6pm, i was awoken to my dog barking at the door. when i looked through the peephole i saw my downstairs neighbor, an elderly woman. she looked at the door, confused, before simply turning around and walking away. the dog kept freaking out. i was exhausted and just as confused and went back to bed.
the next day after work, i knocked on her door. i was concerned that maybe she had an emergency and i was a huge dick for not answering. she invited me inside and i soon found out that she had alzheimers or dementia. she lived "alone" in that she had a one bedroom apartment to herself but her daughter lived in the same complex and would visit constantly.
she showed me her system of memory; a white board, an array of post-it notes, files. she had been a lawyer, once. she asked me my name. i walked throughout her living room and would point at pictures, sculptures, art. she would explain in detail of where she and her late husband traveled to in the 70's, the 80's. she would ask me my name again. i pointed to a picture of a man and she said that was her son and, oh, he died of cancer in 2009. oh my god, he just died. and it appeared that she was grieving him for the first time all over again even though it was 2021. she asked me my name again.
vibrant rainy walk home + appropriate writing beverage
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this one time I was driving in west texas when my truck ran out of gas somewhere in the void between ozona and fort stockton. I was stranded alone on the shoulder of i10 in the sweltering heat for like 6 hours without cell service. I dont even remember feeling upset or mad or scared. however I do remember, as I realized I was going to run out and was shit out of luck (gas gauge dipped below a quarter and there wasnt another gas station for 35mi in both directions; I had miscalculated), I thought, "well. you made this bed. no worth in getting upset. damn foolish." absolutely insane reaction to this in retrospect given I was like 22 years old. I was born with the soul of a 18th century gold panner.
whateva...compilation of recent camping set-ups (plus sleeping in the subaru)
a couple of years ago, i found myself in a little hostel in the white mountains of new hampshire. there was a campground and a creek nearby. in the morning, near sunrise, i decided to go hang out in the creek. i stripped down and went in in my underwear. there was a hippie chick also in the water. she worked at the hostel, said she sat in this creek every morning. before coffee, before she ate, before she really woke up. summer or winter. she'd go and sit in the creek. if there weren't any campers, she'd go in nude. said it cleared her mind, or something.
a couple of hours later, i set off to summit mt eisenhower. i passed a group of hikers around my age. i was feeling good, maybe because of my morning strip in the creek, so i kept going up the presidential range and knocked out franklin and monroe too. on the way down, i lapped the group of hikers again. they had begun to fragment.
i fell into pace with two of the girls. i found out while walking behind, conserving my energy and my knees, that they had both just taken shrooms for the first time ever. which was a pretty stupid thing to do, considering they were on a fairly steep hike and alone. i began to talk to them, trip sit and all that. we talked about long-distance girlfriends and wives, how the distance works out better for some people, the novelty of having two homes simultaneously. we eventually came across a stream crossing. before i could stop them, they stripped into their underwear, kicked off their boots, and sat in the stream. and well, after the good luck i'd experienced in the creek that morning, i couldn't resist.