#jaskier antics

Jaskier: A... Book?

Geralt: Never would've expected that

Jaskier: I know you think me an idiot, but that's a little offensive

Geralt: That's not-

Geralt, sighing: Just thought you wouldn't have the attention for it

Jaskier: Wild, I'm pretty sure I'm still offended

Geralt: You know what, I'll just shut up

Jaskier: To think, the one time I don't have to pull words out of you like exorcising a demon, and you insult me

Geralt: I said I'm sorry

Jaskier: No you didn't?

Geralt: ... I thought it

Jaskier: In this case, the thought does not count

Geralt:

Jaskier:

Geralt: ... I'm sorry

Jaskier: Thank you

Jaskier: ... In other news, this isn't actually a book, it's just a clever place to hide my favorite flask of wine

Jaskier, backed into a corner by a trio of brothers: I was helping her get out of her corset! She was a fellow performer and she bought an ill-fitting one out of desperation and was struggling to breathe! I was being a goddamn Good Samaritan!

Jaskier, after one of the brothers swung at him: GERALT!

Geralt: ... Fine

Geralt: If you men don't want trouble, please leave this poor idiot alone. He's not good at thinking of the implications

Brother #1: Nice try, filthy Witcher

Brother #2: Can't fool us, the lot of you probably soil young maidens across the land

Jaskier: Joke's on you! Only person I'm "soiling" is the damned Witcher!