for @jaredpadacock who was in the mood for some blind!dean and it turned out that i was too so, what the heck.
Sam groaned when he felt Dean slip up behind him, his hands spanning across his stomach as he spread underneath his shirt. Deanās lips were hovering just over the nob of Samās neck as it connected to his spine.
āDean...ā Sam said low, almost... almost as if he were annoyed. However there was something in his voice that said otherwise.Ā āWeāve talked about this.
āWell...ā Dean drawled out.Ā āIām blind and I see people by touching them.ā He explained and Sam could nearly hear the smile in his voice.
āDean, you say that every morning.ā Sam said turning around to press a kiss to his lips.
And it was true. Every morning for the past few weeks, when Sam wasnāt reading every book that the Bunker had to offer and going through endless pages on the internet of finding cures for this curse and even calling up Rowena who seemed to be suddenly āunavailableā, Dean was always touching him.
But there was nothing sexual to his intentions.
No. He wanted to memorize every line and curve of Samās body because everyday that passed and every moment that Sam couldnāt find a cure, Dean was growing increasingly worried (despite the fact that he would never admit it), that he would never seeĀ Samās body again.
And so he touched Samās body every chance that he got.
Whether it be him holding his hand while the two of them ate in the library. Or him wrapping his arms around Samās waist as Sam fixed breakfast in the morning because it was suddenly impossible for Dean to do it. Or at night when he would just run his hand up and down Samās body in the most intimate way.
āI know.ā Dean replied finding Samās lips.
After a kiss that was almost bitter sweet, Sam pulled away and rested his head against Deanās forehead.
āDeanā¦how are you holding up?ā Sam asked knowing the next words that were going to fall out of his mouth. He would never tell Sam that he wasnāt anything other than fine.
āYou ask me that every morning, Sam.ā He joked, using the same tone that Sam had used with him just a few seconds ago.
Sam sighed, staring into those eyes that werenāt staring back into his.Ā āDean, Iām serious. How are you? Really?ā
āIām fine, Sam. Really.ā
Those two words fell from his mouth. Those two words that Sam didnāt want to hear. Sam didnāt want to hear the lies that he told not only him but also himself. He just wanted to hear the truth.
āDean.ā Sam sighed again, preparing to fight yet again another losing battle. āYouāre not fine. Okay, man? I just want to know the truth.ā
Dean swallowed thickly, his brow furrowing for a moment and he blinked like all of the sudden that would do the trick but his eyes were as milky as ever. It took him a few more moments to answer. Another swallow, a twitch to the jaw and Dean dug his fingers into Samās hips even tighter.
āIām telling you the truth, Sam. I promise.ā He finally said.
He shut SamĀ up by pressing his lips to his once more.
āIāll admit that at first I was pretty frustrated when I realized that thisā¦ā He pointed to his eyes. āCould be permanent. I was frustrated when I realized that I would never be able to see your sexy body again.ā Sam hit him lightly on the arm, for once glad that Dean couldnāt see the blush that fanned out across his face at his comment. āBut once I got past that, I realized that I was actually much better off.ā
Sam looked at him confused even though he knew that Dean couldnāt see his facial expressions.
āLike I never realized how beautiful your voice really is. Like Sam, I donāt think you realize how beautiful your voice is. I can still remember when I came back from hell and those nightmares used to plague me at night and just the sound of your voice would soothe me back to sleep. I never realized just how important your voice was to me until now. Until I realized that it was the only thing that I was left of you. Well, your voice and your body.ā
In that delicate way of his, Dean began to trail his hands along the edges of Samās body. He traced his jaw, his ears, his cheekbones, his neck, his collarbone, his shoulders.
āI know every curve, every bend, every physical imperfection, things I hardly noticed when I could see them. I didnāt think it was possible, but you got more beautiful after that witch cursed me.ā
āDeanā¦ā Sam was blushing hard now.
āSo Iām fine, Sam. I promise that I am and if you never do find a cure that Iāll be okay because youāll still be here with me. I love you, Sam. Blind or not.ā It seemed that ever since Dean had gone blind, he seemed to talk more, tell whatās on his mind, like suddenly the realization that you couldnāt see the reactions of the person you were talking to was suddenly relieving and he could actually just talk.
Sam leaned forward and kissed him again. āI love you too, Dean.ā Sam mumbled against his lips.