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“Janna and Princess Turdina” Chapter 2: “Hear Ye, Hear Ye”
The towers of St. Olga’s Reform School for Wayward Princesses loomed over the 3 teenagers. Grey clouds prevented any sunlight from reaching the ground, leaving only the crooked windows to illuminate the dark valley.
“This place is so eerie,” said Janna, glancing at Turdina and Star to see familiar dread. “It’s my kind of vibe!”
“You won’t be saying that once we get inside. It’s a dystopian nightmare in there,” cautioned Turdina in a treble pitch. Janna couldn’t help but think about how cute she found this higher voice.
One of the towers lay collapsed next to the complex. “Did you do that?” asked Janna.
“We had help from the other princesses,” explained Star, starting to smile again.
They entered the main lobby, not a single light on. Star tiptoed in front, Turdina pulled up her pink ballgown to avoid tripping, and even Janna decided to step more quietly.
Suddenly, a light came from the top of the stairs. Star grabbed her wand in anticipation, and Turdina carefully stepped right beside her. A silhouette emerged, blocking some of the light.
“I have a wand!” shouted Star.
“And I have a red belt!” said Turdina.
The silhouette spoke. “Turdina and Star? Is that you?”
Star took a relieved sigh, and Turdina’s tensed shoulders relaxed.
The silhouette revealed herself as Princess Arms, one of the many princesses inspired by Princess Turdina’s cause. Having 4 hands, she simultaneously shook the hands of Star, Turdina, and Janna.
“So glad you’re back,” said Princess Arms. “A lot of new princesses don’t believe Turdina was real, so now we can prove it to them!”
“I thought another headmistress would’ve taken over the school once Heinous was kicked out,” said Turdina.
“They tried to install others, but every time they do, we fought back,” said Arms.
As the four walked across the lit hallway at the top of the stairs, Janna saw a large number of Turdina posters hung on the walls and some holiday lights strung above.
“We’re going to renovate the school to our liking, so you should come back again in a few weeks,” said Arms.
“I already like it now,” said Janna, almost dizzied by the sight.
The group stopped at the intersection of 2 hallways.
“I’m going to gather up all the princesses, Turdina,” explained Arms. “Meet us in the assembly courtyard.” She ran ahead down 1 of the hallways, while Star led the way down another.
Turdina walked quite a bit slower than Star, apparently not as used to walking in high heels as her. Janna took this opportunity to walk next to Turdina.
“So I heard Jackie broke up with you,” said Janna in a hushed voice. “How are you holding up with that?”
“Okay, I guess,” said Turdina. “I feel bad that she felt our relationship could not work. I never meant to disregard her, I just…”
“Wanted to help on Mewni?” offered Janna.
Turdina nodded. Janna realized how much between a rock and a hard place Marco/Turdina was in, trying to be there for Jackie but also fighting for Star’s community.
“Who knows? Maybe someone else will come along,” said Janna with a shrug.
Turdina looked down at the floor, glittery eye shadow sparkling in the hallway candelabras. “I’m not sure about that.”
“Oh great kingdom of Echo Creek!” announced Janna in her best town crier voice. “Who shall take the hand of this fair maiden?”
Turdina chuckled a bit.
“What you two talking about?” said Star, glancing back at them.
“Relationship issues,” said Turdina honestly.
“Your lady-in-waiting wants to be swept off her feet again!” Janna continued in that theatric tone.
Suddenly, Turdina and Star froze in their tracks, eyes widening. Janna looked ahead to see what looked like a middle-aged woman with a tattered dress.
“Miss Heinous!” exclaimed Turdina. “What are you doing here?”
“I heard that you would be returning to St. Olga’s tonight,” said Heinous, “so I returned to turn the princesses against you!”
Janna noticed Star’s expression quickly turn from surprise to annoyance. Star pulled out her wand and lazily said, “Spider With a Top Hat.”
Heinous flinched at the sight. “You may have won this round, but I’ll be back!” She climbed out the nearest window.
“Darn, not even a chance to attack,” said the magical spider. He turned around to see Star, Turdina, and Janna. Focusing on Janna, he said, “Hello, who are you?”
Star placed a hand on Janna’s shoulder. “This is Janna Ordonia. She’s a friend of mine.”
“Sup!” said Janna.
“Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Ordonia. A friend of Princess Butterfly is a friend of mine!” said the mustached arachnid.
He walked up and Janna instinctively put her hand to the ground so Spider could climb on it. “Woah,” she said, intrigued with the machine gun that had popped out of Spider’s top hat, “does that shoot real bullets?”
“It does indeed!” said Spider With a Top Hat proudly. “Though my fellow spells are quite formidable too, and they throw the best parties.”
The trio continued onward, Janna spending the whole time asking Spider questions about living in Star’s wand. After they reached the courtyard stage, Turdina asked, “So Cloudy and the laser puppies aren’t the only sentient spells?”
Unlike Janna and Turdina, Star took no apparent interest.
“Not even close!” said Spider with a hearty laugh. “There’s a whole community in there. They’re my greatest friends, gotten me through difficult times.”
“Wow, I’m glad we didn’t lose you when Toffee made Star destroy the wand,” said Turdina.
“As long as the magic survives, we survive,” said Spider. “So there’s no need to worry!”
It wasn’t long before Princess Arms had gathered the rest of the school. At the center of the stage, she introduced Turdina then declared, “I told you she was real, Tiffany!”
Turdina took a deep breath, and slightly pouted her lips in determination. The thought of kissing those pink, glossed lips ran through Janna’s head before Turdina approached the stage pulpit and started speaking encouraging words to her fellow princesses.
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This is a fan work, based on the TV series Star versus the Forces of Evil (copyrighted by Disney). Everything copyrightable in this text that is not copyrighted by Disney is released by its author, only-here-for-the-ships, under the Creative Commons Zero.
