#jamier

A Ma Maniere 002

BY Jamier Boatman-Harrell

I live in Atlanta, GA and it is the first the day of 8th grade. The excitement of what awaits me this year is overwhelming, and I can’t wait for my classes to start. The day begins off in homeroom. I feel at ease because there are numerous blacks around me. Most of my time I spent has been with other people who were not black, and it has made me feel distant from my race. Class starts and the teacher decides that will go around and tell something about ourselves. It starts. People talk about interests like basketball and listening to rap yet I don’t like any of that, but maybe they will accept me for my differences. The person before me talks about himself, but now it is my turn to shine. In a proud manner I say that I’m Jamier and I tell them I like skateboarding, rock, and other things not considered “black”. I ended telling them about myself and out of know where someone yelled, “You’re a white boy. OREO!” The class erupted in laughter. The room consumed with the laughter of my black peers. I did not know what to do. I felt like an outcast, but I previously thought my own race would accept me for my differences. However to them I was outsider. I lost sense of who I was as person that day. Whites did not accept nor did my black peers. I was a pariah to my own race.

            As Shel Silverstein has said, “We are all rolling around trying to find our missing piece.” As teenagers we are at age where we searching through the world to find where we fit as individuals. Myself as teenager I had a hard time figuring out who I was. I turned to the black race for acceptance, but as I showed in the introduction I was met with almost what seemed to be racism. I was told I was not “black” even though my skin was brown and my lineage traced itself all the way back to Africa, yet they saw me as a mockery to the black race.  All I wanted was acceptance from my peers, yet that was too much to ask for and so I felt lost. However, my incident was not isolated. In an article written by Aleta Payne she describes how her son was told he was not “black”, and even talks about how Aleta Payne and her husband both experienced this racism from the black culture as teenagers themselves (Payne n.p.). Though as I got older I got use to my black peers not accepting me, but I could never figure out what being “black” was. Even though I was not acting “black” in no way was I defaming my culture by the way I acted. This problem seems to arise in black teenagers however no black teenager should be ridiculed or ostracized for not acting “black”.

             Through the use of surveying and articles I analyzed the feelings of how teenage blacks feel and what affects it has on them. For instance in crossing my data from my survey with data from a scholarly article there were some similarities. Across the board in the survey those who were ridiculed or ostracized for not acting “black” felt, “….out  of place...”, “….an outcast…”, and “…offended…” (Boatman-Harrell n.p.). Even when I was called an “Oreo” and told I act “white” I felt these same emotions, and at times because this was told me numerous times I spiraled into depression. Depression was brought on by the fact that I felt empty and had no one in the world I could turn to because my black peers disowned me as a black teen.  Because of this racial dramaturgy within the black community there have been many affects. At Vanderibilt they have done research showing that academic failure in the black community has been caused due to the fact that many African American teens have feared ridicule-ment from there peers, so they tend to do bad in school (Vanderibilt n.p.). In the academic aspects Cook and Ludwig states blacks who are high achiever are labeled as “acting white” and thus are ostracized racially, but whites who are high achievers are labeled “nerds” and ostracized socially (Bratton and Lewis 88). In some extremes a black student feared her black peers criticizing the way she dressed as being “white” to the point that everyday she brought another set of clothes to school to change in that they would accept her in (Boatman-Harrell n.p.). Black people have struggled for decades combating racism. Our culture has been killed, arrested, and hosed down just so that we could try to live in a world with limited racism.  However, even during those trying times within the black community there was racism amongst blacks to other blacks. Though even post-Civil Rights this racism continues and those on the end of these inter-racist remarks are still feeling as bad as they did years ago.

            Racial dramaturgy has not been limited to certain individuals. For instance multi-talented rapper Donald Glover has experienced racism amongst other blacks. Donald Glover as a teen was a pariah amongst the black race. In an interview in A Flavorful Life Donald Glover as a teen wanted to be normal and not labeled by peers (Flavorful Life n.p.). Though in his teen years Donald was ostracized by youth and called an Oreo. In songs like The Last Donald comments how black kids in his neighborhood would make fun of him for not being “black” and beat him up (Gambino n.p.). Donald recalls his early childhood life to be bad because of his black peers who would ridicule him everyday. Throughout his life he suffered depression because he was disowned by black race and in song What the f*** are you?  he comments on how he never was able to find where he fit amongst blacks (Gambino n.p.). As he got older he got use to the comments, but he used these comments to fuel his work ethic. However, Glover has been one of the forerunners to ask for change and acceptance from blacks to other blacks. He goes on how he does not understand why blacks can’t be different, and in You See me he shows this by saying, “Can we try something new and not be suspect (Gambino n.p.)?”

            Those who oppose my proposal counter that not acting “black” defames the whole culture and diminishes the race itself. However, what defames the culture is the very definition of being black. Through my surveys I discovered that most people feel that the definition of being is held to have negative connotation (Boatman-Harrell n.p.). This data from the survey correlates with Sonja’s survey in which her black teen candidates describes acting black to be negative also (Sonja 81). The surveys showed that acting black dealt with “be bad”, “having a I don’t acre attitude”, “being ignorant”, “loud”, and much more. However, what Sonja and I saw from our data was these definitions for acting “black” came from the media. The media has placed out these definitions on what it means to truly black. For instance on BET the majority of television played glorifies the life of the stereotypical black person. Programming shows stars living a live style of money, cars, drugs, and violence. This life is then picked up black youth and they grasp this as being what the black culture is. The media portrays blacks in a negative way, and through surveys some people understood this, but they still ridicule others for not following this picture, even though they think it is  wrong, of how black teens should act.

            In combating the ignorance of the black youth’s racism Aleta Payne has tried to shield here son from negative aspects of black culture by monitoring everything her son does so he does not fall into the negative aspects of the black culture (Payne n.p.). However, what she is doing right with focusing her time changing the youth, but we must not shield the youth from what is out there. In recent discussion in Micro Economics my teacher talked about how the government tried to combat the number of smokers in America. What the U.S. government found was that in order to the cut the number of smokers in the long run they must cut the losses with the current smokers, and try to make sure the youth does not pick it up (McGrath n.p.). To see change in the way of thinking by blacks teens we must promote the fact that there is no set way to be “black”. Though in the media we must glorify the lives of black individuals who have not conformed to the negative standards previously being held by society. We must also offer counseling to those affected by this racism and teach them that there is nothing wrong with being the person they are. However it will take time to see a change, but if the youth is taught early then their skewed views of what it means to be “black” will not be passed down to the next generation.