#james halpert

Mel’s P.O.V.

It’s May 5th, and Pam is out getting a few more things ready for her wedding. So today I’m the only receptionist at the office. I watch as everyone trickles in one by one. Jim, of course, stops and talks to me for a few minutes before going over to his desk. Dwight was not the first one here today. Angela was the first one here, which is really odd. 

When Dwight does get to the office, he walks straight into Michael’s office to have a talk with him. Once Dwight comes out, he sits at his desk and looks around. He keeps glancing up at the water cooler. I notice Oscar  and Toby keep standing over there talking. Jim stands up and walks over to get some water. 

He looks extra handsome today. Dwight stares over there until the guys go back to their seats. I watch him stand up and walk over to the water cooler. What the hell is he doing? He picks it up and brings it to his desk and sets it next to his desk, plugging it in. I roll my eyes and start copying the papers that Oscar has me copy for him. 

As I hand Oscar back his papers, Michael walks over.

“Melissa, can you bring the calendar to my office please? I have something I need you to help me with.” Michael smiles.

“Umm..Sure.”

“Great! Find out whose birthday is next for me, please? Then come to my office.” 

I grab the calendar book I keep next to my computer. I quickly glance through it before I get up and follow Michael toward his office. Jim gives me a confused look as I walk back. I just shrug and close the door behind me. I sit down in the chair he has. He looks at the camera.

“Get set for Operation Morale Improvement starring Michael Scott. Now, I think I have had a little stroke of genius in that I have had my assistant Melissa...Smile Mel” I smile slightly at the camera. “I have had her go out and find out whose birthday is coming up, so we can have a little celebration for it. Not bad, not bad at all. Alright. And the birthday person is... drum roll please. Here we go, who is the birthday person?”  I pause for a second. “Who is it? Who’s the birthday person?”

“There umm...There actually aren’t any staff birthdays coming up.” I say, glancing at the camera again.

“Next person on the calendar then?” Michael says.

“Oh that’s Meredith-” I begin to say.

“Yes! Alright, come on down, Meredith!” Michael says, happily.

“It’s not till next month, Michael.” I say, finishing my sentence from earlier.

“Oh...umm. Okay, well great, well you know, it’ll be a surprise!” Michael says, after thinking. 

“You want to have a party? For someone whose birthday isn’t coming up until next month?” I clarify.

He nods. “Yeah. Why not? Sure. Go ahead, live a little! Come on, Mel.” 

“No problem, Michael. I’ll get the party group together.” I stand up.

“Thank you!” He smiles.

I walk out of the office and goes up to the other girls, besides Meredith of course, letting them know meet me in the conference room. Phyllis and Angela go straight to the conference room, while I walk over to Jim’s desk. I kneel down on the side without Dwight. He leans over to me.

“What’s going on?” He whispers.

“Michael is making us throw a party for Meredith.” I whisper.

He looks confused and whispers. “Her birthday isn’t till next month.”

“Exactly.” I stand up and walks into the conference room. 

We all sit down with our notepads and pens.

“Well...umm. For decorations, maybe we could...nevermind...it’s stupid...forget it.” Phyllis says, rubbing her forehead.

“What?” Angela says.

“I was just going to say, maybe we could have streamers, but that’s dumb, everybody has streamers. Never mind.” She says once again.

“No. that’s actually a good idea.” I say, writing it down. “What color?”

“There’s, umm, green, blue, yellow...red.” Phyllis says.

“Green.” I say smiling.

“I think green is kind of whorish.” Angela says, looking at her notepad. 

I look down at my shirt, which just so happens to be a green sweater today. Oh she just fucked up. I sigh and look up as I sit in an interview a few minutes later.

“This was tough. First, she pretty much insults my shirt, then, I suggested we flip a coin. Angela said she doesn’t like to gamble. Of course by saying that she was gambling that I wouldn’t smack her.” I say, rolling my eyes.

I go back to the conference room and we try to think of a few more ideas when Michael walks in with the camera crew.

“These are my party planning beeyatches. Pulled off an amazing ‘80s party last year. Off the hook! Anyway, so I was thinking, if you haven’t already got a cake, umm, maybe going for one of those ice cream cakes from Baskin-Robbins. Those are very good. Very Delicious.”  Michael says.

“Umm Meredith is allergic to dairy, so-” Angela starts off saying.

“She’s not the only one that’s going to be eating it, right? I think everybody likes ice cream cake. It’s not, uh, it’s not just about her, so...” Michael says, smart assy.

“It’s her birthday, Michael.” I say, staring up at him.

“Mint Chocolate Chip! That’d be good, how about some, mint chocolate chip?” He says, and walks out of the room.

I roll my eyes and I hear my desk phone ring. I quickly stand up and run over to the desk. I pick up the phone. 

“Dunder Mifflin, this is Melissa speaking.” I say, but no one answers, so I hang the phone up. I notice Phyllis and Angela went back to their desks so I sit down in my chair. Jim walks over to my desk and smirks.

“Dwight asked me to start an alliance.”

“An alliance?” I ask confused.

“Oh yeah.” He nods. 

“What does that even mean?” I ask.

“I think it has something to do with Survivor, but I’m not sure.” He shrugs. “Umm, I know that it involves spying on people and we may build a fort...underground.”

Dwight quickly walks over. “Jim! Hey Mel…” He looks at Jim. “Listen, could I talk to you a second about the...paper products?” 

Jim’s POV 

I give Mel a ‘Really?’ type of look and walk with Dwight to the conference room. 

“Did you tell Mel about the alliance?” Dwight asks me.

“What? No!” I say, as if I am offended.

“Just now.” Dwight says, pointing toward the door.

“What? Oh no no no no. Dwight, no. I’m using her, for the alliance.” I say, almost like I’m stating the obvious. “Who knows the most information about this office? Mel. She’s been here longer than me and almost as long as you.”

“Right, that’s good, good. Pursue this.” He says, nodding.

“Well I’m trying too. Do you see what I’m doing?” He nods. “But listen, I’m going to have to talk to her a lot. Alright? And there may be chatting, and giggling. And you gotta just pretend to ignore it. Wipe it away.” I say.

He nods. “Done.” He walks out of the office. 

I walk out and smirk slightly to Mel. She giggles and looks back down at her desk. 

Lunch time rolls around and Dwight leans over whispering to me. “They seem awfully chummy, don’t you think?” 

I look up and see Toby and Kevin talking.

“Yeah, what do you think that is about?” I ask, putting my pen up to my lip.

“Only one way to find out.” Dwight looks at me.

“I’m on it!” I stand up and walk into the kitchen area. 

Kevin and Toby are sitting at the table, eating their lunches. 

“Hey, Kev, that looks good. What is it? Turkey?” I ask.

“Italian.” He answers before taking a bite.

I nod. “Oh, Italian. Nice! Wow! You got the works in there. Red Onion, provolone.”

Kevin just nods. I smile slightly and walk out of the kitchen. I pull Dwight to the side. 

“You are not going to believe this.” I say, in a shocked manner.

“What?! I believe you!” He says as his eyes widen.

“Tensions were high in the kitchen.”

“I could tell. From the body language.” I knew he was watching from the window.

“Toby and Kevin. they’re trying to get Angela kicked off.” I say.

“Good, let ‘em. It helps our cause.” 

“Well, I don’t know. If Kevin’s in accounting and Toby’s in Human Resources and they’re talking...” I don’t finish my sentence so he can get the hint. 

“Oh no. They’re forming an alliance.” His eyes widen once again. “God damnit!”

“Okay, listen. We need to assume that everyone in the office is forming an alliance and is therefore trying to get us kicked off.” I say, as if it is obvious once again...hell, you might as well just call me Captain at this point.

“God! Damn. Why us?” He asks.

“Because we’re strong, Dwight. We’re strong.”

Mel’s POV

I got an idea a few minutes ago, so I walk right over to Jim and kneel down next to him.

“Hey, Jim.” I whisper. “Can I talk to you for a second?” I act like something’s wrong.

“Sure, what’s up?” He whispers, turning his chair in my direction.

“Umm I don’t know. I’m just like-” I take a breath. “I’m going a little crazy ‘cause I keep overhearing all these conversations between Michael and corporate about like...staff issues?”

“Oh no?”

“Yeah, he’s making me take notes on these meetings, and I’m like, ‘These people are my friends.’ But he’s all like, ‘This is confidential. You can’t tell anyone.’ But I just feel like I want to...ahh. Just promise me you’re not gonna say anything.” I whisper with sadness in my voice.

“No, will not, I’m not going to tell anybody. This is between you and me.” Jim whispers.

When I get up and walk back to my desk, Jim looks at Dwight. 

“Jackpot.” Dwight whispers to Jim.

Jim stands up and walks to me a few minutes later.

“Good job.” he whispers smiling. “Thinking right on the fly!”

“I knew you’d like that.” I giggle slightly. “I also...umm...I also have another idea.”

He looks at me with curiosity in his eyes. I lean forward toward him.

“What if you tell Dwight that during the birthday party, one of the alliances are meeting in the warehouse?” I whisper.

He smirks slightly and whispers. “You are a genius! I’m glad I got you on my team!”

I blush slightly and watch as Jim walks back over to his desk. He doesn’t sit down but whispers to Dwight. Dwight walks back into the conference room with Jim following him. I smirk to myself. Around 4:45pm, we’re finishing up decorating for Meredith’s party, when I notice that both Dwight and Jim leave the building. 

I giggle slightly and finish putting up the streamers. We went with red since Angela was okay with that color. I give everyone a party hat just as Meredith walks through the door. 

“Surprise!!” Everyone shouts.

“Oh! Surprise!” She says, confused.

“No, it’s a party for you!” I say, smiling walking up to her. 

Michael has everyone start singing. I look at Meredith with an apologetic smile. After everyone finishes singing, Michael has us cut the cake. He walks over to her and tries to offer her a piece. She declines, telling him what we all told him before, which he didn’t listen to.

I notice Jim sneaking back into the room. I walk over to him. 

“He’s in a box, down in the warehouse.” Jim whispers to me.

“He’s in a box?” I ask, confused.

“Mel, he’s in a box. He’s downstairs, in a box, on the floor, near the shelves. I’m serious. Go down there and work your magic.” 

I giggle and walks out of the room. I take the elevator down to the warehouse. I look around and notice the box Jim was talking about. I stand right next to it, pulling out my cell phone, pretending to be on an important phone call.

“Hey, where are you? ... Yeah, we were supposed to meet here. ... What? Oh my gosh! That ties in perfectly with something that Michael was telling me earlier! ... I just don’t know what some of the people in, like, accounting are going to do? … It said specifically that..” Before I can finish my rambling, the box Dwight’s in falls over. 

I start laughing and start running toward the door.

Jim’s POV

I’m standing to the side of the room, glancing at the door every few seconds waiting for Mel to come back. I sense someone walking toward me so I look over. 

“Jim! Good party, huh?” Michael says.

“Yeah. The girls need a very good job.” I say, knowing Mel did most of the work while helping me with Dwight.

“Just a little something I whipped up.” He says completely ignoring what I said. “You know, a little morale boost. No big deal.”

“Speaking of which, I meant to tell you. Very impressive, the uh, donation you gave to Oscar’s charity. What was it? 25 bucks?” I ask.

“Well, you know money isn’t everything, Jim. It’s not the key to happiness. You know what is? Joy. You should remember that. Maybe you’ll give more than six dollars next time.” Michael says, smirking, before taking a sip of his drink.

“Well Mel is chipping in with me. That’s why both our names were on a line. But you know. It’s six dollars a mile. It’s gonna end up being like 100 bucks. So...God I can’t even calculate what you’re gonna have to give.” I say honestly. 

When Oscar came up to Mel and I this morning, we agreed we both would pay $3 a mile. Her cousin had the same thing that Oscar’s nephew has. This lead to him having pneumonia, which caused his death a few years ago. I went with her to his funeral. Every year when Oscar asks us about this charity, we always donate together. 

Mel’s POV

For the next 20 minutes, Meredith reads all the names and nice things written in her card until Michael had to screw everything up. I sigh and rub Meredith’s back as Michael makes her cry.

“Don’t worry about him.” I whisper and she nods, wiping her eyes.

She walks away from me and over to her desk. I sigh and look as Jim jogs over to me.

“Okay! Okay so I have something that totally tops the box.”

“Ooo! Tell me. Tell me.”

“I have just convinced Dwight that he needs to go to Stamford and-” I start giggling. “-spy on our other branch. But before he does so, I told him that he should dye his hair to go undercover.”

“That’s perfect!” I say, laughing.

He wraps an arm around me so he can keep whispering to me.

“If we can get him to drive to Connecticut...and put peroxide in his hair-” 

Suddenly we hear from behind me “What the hell is this? What, are you trying to cop a feel or something? Huh, Halpert?” 

Jim and I both look up and see Roy walking quickly in our direction. 

“What does it matter, Roy?” I say crossing my arms. 

“Mel? Where’s Pam?” He asks, looking around.

“She’s out shopping for your wedding. You remember you’re marrying her, right?” I ask in a smart ass tone. “If he wants to cop a feel, that’s fine. I’m not your fiancé.”

He swallows deeply. “Sorry, Mel. I walked in and thought you were Pam.”

“Don’t apologize to me.” I glare slightly. 

He looks at Jim, “Sorry, Halpert.”

Jim nods at him causing Roy quickly turn around and walking out.

“So you wouldn’t care if I copped a feel?” Jim jokes, looking down at me. 

“You’d be the only guy I trust to cop a feel.” I look up at him and smile.